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“Tsuki!”
Yamaguchi’s heels were thoroughly soaked from running across the after-rain school field, dew drops seeping into the toe box of his school shoes. He decided to ignore the cold creeping into his skin after seeing the taller boy waiting for him at the front gate.
“Yamaguchi, you’re late again”, Tsukishima says, his eyes wore the same stoic expression but his voice was in a fond manner upon seeing the smaller boy beaming smile.
Yamaguchi’s smile now laced with such shyness, ears tinting red, “Sorry, Tsuki”. The pretty pink now traveled to the apple of his cheeks making the freckles on his nose more prominent. Tsuki always liked his freckles. Especially like this. It makes him look like a strawberry– with the tiny tuft of hair that he couldn't seem to tame. Not that nobody should know of.
“Come on, it’s going to rain again”, the taller said, opening up his umbrella with much effort–the latch keeps getting stuck–and instinctively shifts it to the right. Yamaguchi has always been on his right since they started going home together during middle school or the smaller boy would stray into oncoming traffic. He can’t seem to walk in a straight line sometimes. Tsukishima finds it annoying sometimes. And a bit endearing.
“Do you wanna get some cream bread on the way home? I think if we run now”–his hand motioned upwards towards the grumbling clouds– “we can get to your house, just half soaked”. The sound of the rain trickling lightly against the yellow umbrella mimics Yamaguchi’s heartbeat.
“Okay”, the younger conceded, so softly; it almost hurts. Heart thrumming against the walls of his chest.
They’re in Tsukishima ’s room now and god Yamaguchi feels his nerves on fire. Like his heart was going to come out of his mouth. Or maybe his lunch. It has been too long since he has been in that very room, it almost feels foreign. Nothing really changed except for his taste in bedsheets and those were dinosaur ones if he recalls correctly. The horrendous neon green was very hard to forget and–
“Do you want to use the bathroom first?”, the taller questions.
Oh they didn’t get to go to Yamaguchi’s house because he is an idiot and he forgot to bring his house keys with him. His mother is at work and the house is locked. They had to go to Tsuki’s instead. Resulting both of them getting soaked to the bones.
Now the heater is cranked up to the max because they both can’t go in the shower at the same time. Or can they?
Shut up shut up shut up he’s gonna hear you.
“No, no, it’s fine. You can go first!”, Yamaguchi chirped up, a bit too keen. The room is a little bit warmer and it’s not from the termostat. For sure.
Thankfully, with Tsukishima’s horrible eyesight, he probably could just see a blurred plop of Yamaguchi in their school uniform on the floor of his bedroom. His stray hair is just miniscule-ly visible.
This stupid cliche is doing a number on Yamaguchi’s heart. Like who set this up. Did god plagiarize some shoujo plotline and just slip it into his life without him looking?
The longer the green head stays in his lifelong crush’s room, the more blood will stop flowing to his head. God forbid he does anything stupid like rummaging Tsuki’s closet. It smells so much of his Tsukishima in there, it’s making him lightheaded. On top of the wet clothes clinging to his body, everything suddenly feels too stuffy.
When he finally got out of those god awful uniforms, Yamaguchi can't help but feel a foolish sense of domesticity. He’s in Tsukishima’s clothes. The other’s t-shirt–cotton and soft– on his skin, falling just above his knees. The black sweatpants he has on, worn and lived in, the fabric cuffs his ankles, pooling at his shins. His laundry detergent, the faint cologne dancing just by his collarbones, the scent homey and so, so foreign. Just Tsukishima , Tsukishima , Tsukishima .
“You’re being weird again Yamaguchi”, the older pipes up from the kitchen.
The interruption woke him up from his stupor. He is being weird. He’s smiling like an idiot in the middle of the Tsukishima household living room, one of his hands clutching at his own shirt.
Tsukishima Kei always knew who he was and how he liked things to be. He has his breakfast of toast and strawberry jam every morning, ties his left shoe first and arrives at school before 08:20 am. He likes his toast slightly underbaked, jam just on the right side and fold it in half. He likes shortcakes. Strawberries too. Strawberry shortcakes, dinosaurs and Yamaguchi. Definitely Yamaguchi. For sure. He should do something about that list.
“The rain stopped”, Tsukishima says.
“You’re right”, the other chirps.
“My brother forgot to do groceries again, there’s nothing in the fridge”, he closes the door to the refrigerator with a thump. God his clumsy brother. It’s a wonder he hasn’t misplaced any of his organs yet.
“Let’s go to the convenience store”, he says as he walks to the front door, fishing out an umbrella from the family’s vase. “I’m kind of hungry right now. C’mon Yamaguchi”. He looks over to the younger boy and he’s still rooted to the living room carpet. A stunned look painted his face.
Tsukishima reaches for his headphones from the couch, settles it around his neck and grabs Yamaguchi by his arm. The poor boy yanked onward from the sudden strength.
>^•-•^<
It was inching towards dusk and the sun was still quite high on the horizon, like a toddler refusing to go to bed. The rain really did stop and its aftermath was all around present. Raindrops hanging from the trees, mimicking christmas decorations. It shines and glimmers when the sun rays line up a bit too perfectly. Puddles at the playground they used to visit so religiously till middle school.
The boys are walking side by side, Tsukishima with his headphones on and Yamaguchi with his head looking towards the heavens, admiring the clouds passing ever so slowly.
“Hey”, Yamaguchi starts. “Do you ever think about getting a girlfriend?”, he looks over to Tsukishima.
One beat.
“Or do you already have someone you like?”, he says, a bit lowered this time.
A second beat passes.
Tsukishima was still looking onwards, no response and no sign of him listening to the abrupt topic. He’s walking at a stagnant pace.
One foot after the other. One and two. One and two.
His slippers are loud against the tarred road. Too loud for this conversation, it almost feels intruding.
“I think I like someone”, he continues. “But I don’t think they like me back, you know”. he glances up one time. Just to see the other’s reaction.
Nothing. Nada. Negative.
Maybe it’s the feverish heat he feels snug under his skin or maybe it’s the sleep deprivation from studying the whole night before but some unknown force is lending its courage to Yamaguchi right at this moment and god damn. To hell with it.
“I- I-like this person, Tsukki. I like them so much. They’re probably the best thing to ever happen in my life. People might think that they’re a bit cold and emotionless sometimes, but those people don’t know you like I do, you know”, a pause.
“They smile at cute things and have this soft spot for plushies, and people can’t see it- won’t see it but the corners of their mouth just rise a little when they see cute puppies and I like them so much, I like them so so much. Remember that baby husky we saw on the way home two days ago, when you said you wanted to raise one when you get your own place after college?”, he continues.
They came to a halt.
“Yamaguchi”, Tsukishima looks at him. Finally looks at him, his headphones lowered to his nape.
“You kept saying you , you were saying you . Do you mean me?”, his head tilted to the side, a slow grin making room on his face.
“No no, I said them . Them. ”
“I’m pretty sure I heard you say you ”, Tsukishima says with a proper smile this time.
“I did?”, Yamaguchi says just above a whisper.
The thought finally dawned on him. He did misspoke. In his flurry to mask his feelings for the other boy, him trying to be slick and oh boy.
“You could hear me this whole time?!”
Yamaguchi fell down in a hunch, his face in his hands, an attempt to hide himself, his feelings, to reel them back into the box under his bed and never ever take a peek at them ever again. His skin feels like it's on fire, burning from the realization. If only the fever can knock him out cold now, it would be very great.
“You kept talking, so I just– let you”, Tsukishima dropped to the other’s eye level, shrugging the question off like it’s what he always do.
“I wannaa dieeeee”, Yamaguchi’s voice came out muffled, his palms being pushed so hard against his face.
“No, you can’t now ”
“Now is good. Now is a good time”
It stays quiet, only the blows of evening wind picking up sounds. They stay like that for a while, both of them crouching on their knees.
Yamaguchi feels a warm hand cupping his jaw, lifting his face up and something soft bumps into his cheek. And another on the side of his temple. And another, and another. His forehead, his chin, his jaw, the side of his lips, too close for it to be friendly.
Tsukishima pushes up his glasses against that stupid, stupid perfect nose on his handsome face and just fucking smiles while Yamaguchi is just there. Absolutely mortified and awestruck.
“I like you too, actually”, the boy says with such fondness. His hand was still holding the dumbfounded boy. The sun is setting and he has this almost angelic glow in the golden hour.
Almost in slow motion, Yamaguchi watches him close in the distance between them, his eyelashes flutter shut and their lips touch. It sent electricity through his spine, his nerves ablaze.
When Tsukishima finally pulled back, Yamaguchi’s head felt like a bobblehead, like it was too big for his body. The words come up to his throat and die on his tongue.
When Tsukishima stood up, pulled him on his feet, and they started walking to the convenience store again, the thought finally bonked his head like in a cartoon where a silly star bounces off a character. This love is a different kind of love. They share the same love for each other.
And they both know it.