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Jealousy was not in the nature of a Jedi, it was an undesirable feeling that should be realized and let go of. Cal reminded himself of that, time and time again, but it stuck with him like a thorn in his side as he sat hidden in the back corner of the cantina.
Y/N could see it written across his face from her place at the bar as she chatted with an admittedly handsome member of the Nabooian government. Cal had been rather testy lately due to Bode's constant goading on a matter he refused to tell her about, and this mission seemed to push him further into his stewing.
But now, as she laughed convincing at something the man in front of her considered humor, she could see that foreign emotion flash across his face as he shifted in his seat. She could understand in some way, after all Y/N was the one who brought up a more quiet approach to the mission, unlike Cal's usual running in head first. But she could never imagine him to be jealous of such a thing.
"It must be so thrilling to make such important decisions," Y/N's commented almost dreamily, adding that youthful sparkle to her eyes for good measure.
If Y/N was good at one thing, it was using her words. Sure she carried a blaster and a many other weapons, but she could talk her way out of any situation unlike any other member of the crew. Bode always joked with her words and Cal's saber they were an unstoppable pair.
"Now my dear, I doubt you want to hear about the boring matter of politics," Dracus, she learned his name after approaching him at the bar, replied with a certain air of superiority.
"No, I find it absolutely fascinating," Y/N assured quickly, feeding his ego as she placed her hand on top of his encouragingly. A quick glance cast in Cal's direction caught him staring moodily out the window, arms crossed.
The night lights of Naboo lighting his features in a way that made her glance linger longer than it should have. He was... beautiful? She wasn't entirely sure that was the correct word to use, but somehow it fit. There were many times she found herself caught off guard by him, leaving her to stare almost mesmerized.
She could allow herself that at least, even though she knew giving herself even that would bring on it's own form of pain in the end. She knew the Jedi Code, she was raised on Coruscant, had seen the Temple and Jedi enough to know they took their rules seriously.
Still, she couldn't help but wonder if there rules were the reason for their downfall.
"Fascinating?" Dracus nodded approvingly, edging his way closer as if he were sharing a secret. "What exactly fascinates you?"
"Naboo is such a large and prosperous planet," Y/N explained. "I mean, somehow it's managed to stay on the outside of the Empires dealings compared to other, less civilized, planets."
"Yes, well, we manage very well," Dracus smiled and Y/N returned it without hesitation. "But we can't totally avoid them, politics and all that, we deal in supplies and information. As a matter of fact, tomorrow we'll be receiving one of their shipments at the southern docking station."
"How exciting," Y/N smiled genuinely this time as her eyes darted to Cal's stiff frame in the corner, the location they needed secured.
"I assure you my dear, you've seen one Imperial ship you've seen them all," Dracus waved indifferently, his hand finding her knee instead of the bar. "There are plenty of other things on Naboo I'm sure you would find more interesting..."
"Is that so?" Y/N arched a curious brow, she had the information they needed, now she just needed a descrete way to slip away.
"I'd be more than happy to be your guide," Dracus continued, his hand slowly moving higher up her leg.
"I-" any attempt Y/N had at discretion blew up literally in front of her as one of the pipes behind the bar burst, quickly filling the room with smoke and panicked cries.
All Y/N could due was toss a disapproving look at the culprit as she slipped past Dracus, heading for the back door while the rest of the patrons headed out the front. Her disapproval finding her companion once more as she coughed her way into the alley where he stood in shadows.
"What was that?" Y/N demanded as she gave him an annoyed shove.
"You got what we came for," Cal explained defensively. "You needed a way out."
"A way that I could have found myself," Y/N shook her head as she glanced back at the smoke still pouring from the cantina. "I thought we agreed to do this discretely."
"I-... I'm sorry," Cal deflated slightly, knowing she was right by the guilt on his face.
"Well, it doesn't matter now," Y/N sighed as she nodded towards the street ahead. "We should get out of here before they call someone..."
* ) * ( *
If Y/N was correct about one thing, it was the fact that Naboo seemed untouched by the Empire. It was a strange fact, considering the planets influence during the Clone Wars, it almost seemed frozen in a different time.
Not to say the planet and people hadn't experienced their own form of tragedy. Their own Senator Amidala had died shortly before the war ended, the once Queen's memorial standing as a reminder. Reminding Y/N as well of the tragedy as she and Cal had passed discretely through the streets that morning.
The night sky now offering them at least the freedom to move freely through the uncrowded streets as they walked by the clear water of Naboo that cut through the city, Beedee running ahead to scan every new thing. Y/N couldn't remember the last time she had been to a planet that still felt free, even if she knew nothing was free with the Empire.
"I am sorry," Cal admitted after a virtually silent walk.
"Well, your way was certainly faster than any I was thinking of," Y/N smiled slightly, wishing to ease the tension.
"I should've listened to you," Cal continued to apologize.
"It was just as well..." Y/N shrugged, eyeing him discretely as she looped her arm through his. "Besides, his hands were sweaty."
Cal chuckled slightly at that as he looked out towards the water, a sense of relief passing over him as his friendliness returned. His body loosing it's tension as she bumped his shoulder with her own.
To any passersby they looked like a normal couple taking a stroll, free of burdens and complications. An image that was far away from the truth, but she could let them assume.
"I know it annoys you when I jump right in without thinking..."
"That's only because I've had to patch you up before," a small knowing laugh passing between them.
"Words come easier to you," Cal challenged, adding with amusement. "You would have made a good politician."
"No need to insult me," Y/N bumped him again playfully, making them both fumble their step slightly.
"No, you're right, not that," he chuckled before his tone turned thoughtful. "You would have made a good Jedi."
"Jedi?" Y/N looked at him in slight disbelief, stopping him in her tracks before continuing their stroll. "Now you're just being ridiculous."
"You would have," Cal smiled slightly. "You always try to talk through any situation, find a common ground, before resorting to violence. You try for a peaceful resolution."
"I still say you're being ridiculous," Y/N shook her head vehemently.
"Why?"
"I'm not a Jedi so what does it matter?" Y/N released him, needing to put some physical distance between herself and that conversation. She had never actually told him any of her opinions on the Jedi Order.
"It matters because it seems you're taking what I said a lot more serious than I meant it," he challenged, stopping in his tracks and forcing her to stop a few paces ahead as well.
"Cal..." Y/N shook her head once more as she turned to face him, knowing there was no escaping this now. "It's because I can see what the Jedi are, were, when you can not."
"What?" he was somewhat stunned and confused at her words.
"Their rules, requirements, the politics," Y/N looked past him to the night lights of Naboo. "They weren't peacekeepers, at least not at the end, they were basically soldiers for the Republic."
"The Jedi had to act against the Separatists," Cal defended, taking a step forward. "The Republic and it's systems needed our help-"
"They took you as a child Cal, they raised you to believe their rules, and they raised you to be a soldier, not a peacekeeper," Y/N looked him dead in the eye. "I was your age then too, I knew my parents, I had a childhood, I had a home. They took that away from you."
"You don't understand..." Cal shook his head, looking towards the water once more.
"No, you don't understand," Y/N spoke softer this time. "The Jedi way isn't the only way... you could have had something more than the life they chose for you."
Cal glanced quickly at her at that, before heading for the intricate marble railing that overlooked the water. Y/N watched him carefully, seeing the tension in his shoulders as he leaned on the cool marble, debating whether or not to leave him to his thoughts or join him.
Finally deciding on the latter.
"I'm sorry," Y/N whispered as she leaned over as well, staring at his reflection in the water. "It-... it wasn't my place to say any of that."
"Even if you meant it?" Cal asked quietly.
"Even if I meant it, they were your family, you were one of them."
"Is that what you think about me?" his eyes focused on the flow of the water.
"No," Y/N replied, resting her shoulder against his in an effort to assure him. "You destroyed the Holocron, remember? You gave those children a choice to be who they wanted."
"What if the Jedi Code is what I want?" he looked at her then.
"I remember what my father said the Jedi once were," Y/N spoke gently. "A force of good, bringers of peace, not just for the Republic but for the galaxy. You are those things Cal, but you are so much more... you deserve so much more."
"I'm doing what I have too," his words sounding more like a fact than a defense.
"You've been doing what you have to your entire life," Y/N huffed out a sad laugh. "Then again, who am I to talk?... ever since I left Coruscant I've been trying to be what everyone else, even the galaxy, needs me to be. I guess I stopped thinking about what I want."
"What do you want?" Cal seemed curious about that.
"A great many things," Y/N gave her reflection a bittersweet smile. "Sometimes I want things so badly I can feel it in my bones... what about you?"
"Me?" he almost seemed taken aback by that question, making Y/N realize that it was perhaps the first time he had been asked. "I-... I never gave it much thought."
"You should," Y/N bumped his shoulder encouragingly. "After all, you've got to want something, or else what are we fighting for?"
Cal looked down at his own reflection, a concentrated look crossing his features as Y/N decided it was his turn to interrupt the silence. Until then she could gaze out at the city, at the normal lives going on around them, that despite everything haven't really changed that much.
Her thoughts going to the cantina they had just left and the people she had seen inside. Dracus was probably back home in the comfort of a bed she couldn't afford, while the other patrons filtered on home to their families or to a bottle they had stashed away in their cupboards.
That was the important thing Y/N always had to remind herself of, to keep herself grounded. Everyone had a life, a past, some lived up with the stars like she did and others chose simplicity, but then again, to them her life seemed dreadfully complicated.
"What are you thinking about?" Cal finally spoke, he seemed more at ease, more so than he had been in weeks with whatever was bothering him.
"Life," Y/N replied as she glanced at him quickly. "Everyone else's mostly."
"Do you think Dracus was suspicious of what happened?"
"No, he probably went home and nursed his bruised pride at not seducing another young woman."
"Did you-" Cal paused, unsure how or if he should say what was on his mind. "How did you feel about him?"
"Feel?" Y/N couldn't help the surprised look that crossed her face. "What do you mean?"
"Did you like the way he spoke to you?... Touched you?" Cal shifted uncomfortable, her surprise only growing at the fact that he would think she would like someone like Dracus... Then again, sometimes she put on such a good act she could almost believe what she was saying.
"No."
"Why?" It wasn't demanding, more like a curious slip he couldn't stop himself from asking.
"Because I didn't like him," Y/N stared back at the water, preferring his reflection to the real thing. "Why do you ask?"
"Curious..." Cal shrugged indifferently, but she could see the relief in his reflection.
"It's not about me leading the mission is it?" Y/N questioned, remembering his closed off demeanor in the cantina, her memory making her wondering if it really was jealousy or annoyance written across his face. "You looked... upset."
"No, no its wasn't tha-" Cal caught himself this time, lips parted as his eyes widened slightly, as if he stopped himself from revealing a close held secret.
"Then what was it?" Y/N couldn't help but press.
"Nothing," he shook his head quickly, looking away from her as his demeanor began to close himself off again.
The only thing stopping her from pursuing the topic further was the fact that Beedee had joined them at the railing, chirping in annoyance over the pause in the stroll he was enjoying so much.
"Okay, okay," Y/N allowed the droid to hop onto her shoulder, expecting Cal to pull away from the railing as well. "You coming?"
"I think I'll stay here a little longer," Cal gave her an assuring look to ease any worries she may have. "You two go on ahead."
"If you're sure..." Cal didn't reply as he looked back at the flowing water, leaving Y/N to retreat from him slowly.
Beedee's questioning beeps finally making her continue down the path they had been walking. The small droid looking back, deciding who to go with.
"He needs some space," Y/N spoke up, earning even more confused beeps. "Yes, even from you Beedee."
* ) * ( *
A great many things plagued Y/N's thoughts as she sat centered on the plush matress, much softer than her one on the Mantis. The place they had chosen to stay at was descrete, simple even, but by Naboo's standards simple carried it's own elegance, Cal even offered her the room with the balcony.
Even with all of the luxuries she lacked normally she still couldn't bring herself to sleep. Apparently her mind decided tonight would be the night to bring up everything she usually kept pushed away for her own good. Cal being more often than not the focus of her unrest.
With a tired sigh she opened her eyes, despite Cal's belive in meditation to ease the mind, it did little for her. If anything it gave her thoughts freedom to run wild. Perhaps if she hadn't said anything when he made an innocent comment about her making a good Jedi she would be asleep right now.
But she always tried to be honest with him, he was someone she felt like she could be honest with. He was determined, sometimes stubborn, but he always valued her opinion, even when it differed from his own. Her ability to see things from more than just one side.
Her eyes moved to the right, to the wall separating her room from his. She couldn't help but worry about him, if he had made it back, if he was getting the sleep that always seemed to evade him.
Finally she decided she might as well enjoy the view while she could since sleep was apparently not an option. Her feet hitting the cool stone floor as she headed for the night breeze, pulling the silky material of her robe closer.
The garment offering her some comfort in her thought filled state, it had been her mother's, and it was one of the few things she had of her parents. They were still alive, or at least she willed herself to believe they were.
After the Empire took over and they fled Coruscant Y/N spent most of her adolescents bouncing around from planet to planet. But she wanted more, wanted to do something more, and her parents understood her need for a purpose.
Her father always said she was destined for something more in life than they could ever give her, her soul belonged to the stars.
When she last saw her parents they were heading for Alderaan and she was destined for Kashyyyk where there were rumors of a rebellion forming under a man named Saw Gerrera. But after everything that happened, after meeting Cal, choosing to go with him and accepting the price it would put on her head, she couldn't contact them, for their own safety.
Cal, she remembers seeing him for the first time, it was like something clicked in her mind, his compassion, his hope. There were billions of beings in the galaxy, but somehow she managed to find the one that held a piece of herself she had been searching for.
A chance to really make a difference.
It was strange to think about how well Cal knew her, and yet he still asked such a peculiar question about Dracus. But, then again, she never really spoke of her love life with him, it was an awkward subject to even think of speaking with him, after all...
It didn't really matter.
Y/N had to shake her head at the absurdity of a love life she didn't have. Other things were more important, and it wasn't like she hadn't tried before, but one night stands left her feeling empty, a pointless attempt to fill a void.
Perhaps she could only deny her feelings for so long, the night offered her no place to hide them. She knew what she wanted, what she craved, and maybe in another life things would have been so much more simple, but she had no such luxury here.
She was so lost in her own thoughts she almost missed the soft knock on her door, certainly not loud enough to wake her if she was asleep, but maybe that's what the person on the other side wanted. Lucky or unlucky enough for them, sleep was the only thing far from her thoughts as she walked once more across the cold floor.
Opening the decorative door only a moment later to reveal the only person it could really be at this time of night.
"Did I wake you up?" Cal spoke apologetically, skipping the formality of greetings.
"No, I was enjoying the view," Y/N replied quietly as she opened the door wider for him to enter, wondering what brought him here.
"You couldn't sleep either," Cal stated more so than asked, but Y/N couldn't help but think he hadn't exactly attempted it himself, he was still wearing the same clothes she had left him in hours ago.
"Strange place, soft bed," Y/N smiled slightly with a shrug, an awkward silence filling the room as they both shifted where they stood, eyes meeting then looking away.
She didn't like this, things were never usually this tense, but over the past few weeks something had changed. Cal seemed to avoid her, Bode was constantly whispering in his hear over something neither of them would share, and when they were together things were just... different.
"Where's Beedee?" Y/N finally asked as she moved towards the balcony once more, suffocating in the silence.
"He needed to recharge, apparently all that scanning he did wore him out," Cal replied as he joined her, the air apparently easing him as well.
"Can't exactly blame him, it's nice to be somewhere still the same, not war torn," Y/N leaned her hip into the marble railing as she stared at the soft lights of Naboo.
"Have you been here before?" Cal asked curiously, resting his hands on the railing as he stayed a safe distance away.
"No, but I heard stories on Coruscant, they don't really do it justice," Y/N smiled admiringly at the view. "And the people, they live normal lives, as if the Empire isn't at the front of their minds... maybe that's why it's so beautiful."
"I like the way you see things," Cal commented, a flicker of a smile on his lips as he glanced at her. "We've been here all day and you've seen so much and all I've focused on was the mission."
"That's all you focus on any more," Y/N shot back lightly, both knowing it to be true, after the original crew of the Mantis parted Cal directed his feelings to one single goal. But sometimes Y/N managed to pull him out, make him take a step back and realize where they were, not where they were going.
"I know I've been.... difficult lately," Cal admitted with a tired sigh. "I think tonight made me realize that."
"Tonight?"
"Our conversation earlier," he explained. "Maybe you're right, maybe I am holding on to the past too much."
"It's not the holding on, it's the fact that you're carrying it around like a weight that's only yours to bare, allowing it to decide your future," Y/N frowned sympathetically. "Eventually we all have choose who we are, I chose to let go of the life with my family so that I could follow my own destiny. We don't have to forget the past to move forward, but you have to stop letting it weigh you down."
Cal looked at her then, head cocked to the side, catching the light from the night as he offered her a familiar smile. Y/N bit her lip then, almost embarrassed, sometimes words flowed from her like water.
"Why did you stay Y/N?" he finally asked. "When everyone else left."
"Because you needed me," Y/N shot back, a smile of her own crossing her lips at the joking remark that still held the truth. "And maybe I needed you too..."
"Me?"
"Cal, you have no idea what you mean to me," Y/N's arms crossed protectively over her heart as she stared at the decorative floor. "I couldn't leave, even when Merrin offered to show me parts of the galaxy I had never seen before, my place is here, helping you, helping people."
Cal paused for a long time, a debate raging in his mind as he looked out at the view. Y/N's eyes glancing carefully at his profile before returning to the floor.
"Back at the cantina..." Cal began finally. "You said I looked upset, because you were leading the mission... But that wasn't it... and I never liked lying to you Y/N, but it seems I've been doing that a lot lately."
"What do you mean?" Y/N replied quietly, looking at him fully then.
"You asked me what I wanted earlier," he continued, glancing her way but not quite meeting her eyes. "And I never really allowed myself to wonder that... but with everything going on... and Bode constantly whispering to me about doing something with my feelings instead of ignoring them... and tonight in the cantina I-..."
"What?" Y/N pressed as he paused his rambling, watching as he ran a hand through his ever growing hair to calm himself.
"I know what I want," he stated evenly. "And... I've known it for a while, I just never considered it with everything... but as usual maybe you were right all along."
"What do you want?" Y/N whispered, his eyes finally locking with hers.
"For you to not hate me for what I'm about to do..." Cal replied, a daring smile flickering across his lips.
"Cal what are you-" Y/N tried, usually when he said something like that he was about to do something stupidly dangerous... and perhaps he was.
Y/N never got to fully voice her concerns, Cal had pushed himself away from the railing and crossed the space between them with a confidence only he possessed. His hands pulling her in by her waist as his lips met hers just in time to answer the question she never finished.
Her reaction automatic, her hands cupping his cheeks as she held him close, his stubble tickling her palms. His skin was warm under her touch, burning with so much emotion she thought he might burst into flames.
The reality of what exactly was happening finally hit her when she backed into the cold railing behind her, shocking her system as her eyes opened into what definitely wasn't a dream. A thought coming to mind as she began to pull away, Cal chasing after her until he realized what she was doing.
"You were jealous earlier," Y/N stated breathlessly, her hands still resting on his cheeks as they remained against one another.
Cal's lips parted slightly, wavering with some explanation before they broke into a guilty smile. A laugh escaped her before he eagerly closed the distance between them once more.
Her fingers tangled in his hair as his arms wrapped themselves around her with growing confidence. It only took a second before she felt her feet leave the ground as she came to sit on the railing. The need for closeness only increasing as her legs rested on either side of him, his body pressed into hers.
"What has Bode been telling you?" Y/N whispered against his ear as Cal kissed gently at her jaw.
"He said I was a fool if I didn't do something before someone else did..." Cal spoke softly, lips brushing her skin. "That I could travel the entire galaxy and never meet someone like you again..."
Y/N smiled quietly to herself at the sincerity in his tone, she should have known what Bode was up to. All it took was a moment, one she almost forgot, but he had caught her staring at Cal in one of her transfixed states. When she met his eyes it was almost as if something in his mind clicked.
"I think he was right," Cal's words pulled her back in as the loose tie of her robe fell free on its own, his hand cautiously slipping between the material of her robe and night shirt.
"Cal..." Y/N whispered as she felt one of his soft but calloused fingers brush against the sliver of exposed skin at her waist. "You're treading dangerous waters..."
"Dangerous?" Cal replied just as quietly, pulling back just enough to look at her with hooded eyes.
"I've denied wanting this... you, for so long," Y/N explained as her hand ran slowly down his chest. "I need to know how far you want to go..."
"As far as you'll take me."
"You have no idea..." Y/N's lips twitched with a smile, her eyes taking him in freely without shame. "The places I could take you..."
"Show me," Cal stated challengingly, his gaze holding hers as she slowly pulled the zipper of his jacket down, revealing the soft material of his shirt underneath.
"Not here..." Y/N whispered as her cheek brushed against his stubble, her hands lightly urging him back into the room away from the exposure of the balcony.
She drew the thin curtains, doing little to conceal them from the night breeze that made them sway, revealing glimpses of the city outside. Cal watched her every movement, worrying his bottom lip as he said nothing, hands clasped behind his back.
She knew he was nervous, even as he held his usual confidence, she knew him too well. She knew he never intended to find himself in a situation like this, and in truth neither had she expected to be here with him.
With slow hands she slipped the silken robe from her shoulders, draping it over the back of a chair, catching the subtle way his eyes took her in before returning to her own. She smiled gently, crossing the short distance between them to rest her hands on his chest, feeling the anxious beating below the surface.
A moment passed between them both, there were plenty of things left to be said, but they could wait. Right now there were other things on her mind as she pulled him to her, a slow kiss turning into something more heated.
Cal followed her lead, shedding his jacket as well, tossing it to the side without a care for where it landed. His warm hands resting at her waist as he leaned closer, making her body curve into him more as her back arched.
With an urgent, but careful hand she tugged his shirt free from his pants. An eager hum leaving him as she felt the calloused tips of his fingers tentatively brush her lower back as his hand slipped under the fabric.
Y/N broke the kiss, retreating enough to pull the soft material of his shirt over his head. Her fingers running gently over his warm scarred skin.
"When you took that blaster bolt for me..." Y/N whispered as she brushed her finger lightly against the scar near his shoulder.
She knew most of his scars, had tended to many of them herself, but this was more intimate. She never allowed herself to examine him beyond his injuries, it felt like only a way to torture herself further. But now she took all of him in, from his pale skin to the constellations of freckles covering his body.
"I wasn't the only one to take a few shots for someone else," Cal smiled ever so slightly as his thumb brushed at her hip, where her own scar rested.
It was one of the few times he had to patch her up, but the pain was no where near as excruciating as the shear emotions running through her as she felt his hands on her skin and his worried voice assure her. Even after all this time he still remembered exactly where it was.
With a new form of urgency she backed him towards the bed until the back of his legs hit the frame, giving him a light shove off of his feet. His hands catching himself on the plush mattress as he stared up at her in slight awe.
She straddled him then, catching the red flush of his cheeks as the moonlight slipped threw the fluttering curtains. A hand went to her waist as the other remained to support himself, his fingers running carefully along the fabric of her shirt.
"Can-" Cal paused, unsureness filling his eyes at the foreign situation.
"Yes," Y/N replied without hesitation, she knew what he wanted, hoping her confidence boosted his.
And apparently it did as he managed to move both of his hands to the hem of her shirt, raising it cautiously at first until his eyes met hers. She looked at him without hesitancy, without doubt, his nerves seemed to settle then. Pulling the garment off of her now with a new found confidence as his warm hands returned to her bare skin.
She could feel him beneath her through the thick material of his pants, lowering her weight on his growing bulge. She could hear his breath catch, see the strained swallow he took to remain strong.
"You're sure this is what you want?" Y/N asked softly, cupping his face as she held his gaze. "We can take it slow."
"We've taken this far too slow for the last few years," Cal's fingers ran up her back, to the clasp of her bra, surprising her as he freed it. "This is what I want, with you."
The garment ended on the floor, soon followed by her night bottoms and in turn his pants, leaving a thin layer of fabric between them. Cal's mouth explored her, her neck, chest, breasts, humming in satisfaction as he drew pleasured sounds from her lips. He may lack experience, but it definitely didn't show in this moment, her desire turning to need.
And she knew he felt the same as she she slowly rolled her hips against him, causing his lips to faulter and his hands to tighten their hold on her.
"Cal..." Y/N whispered, hands tangled in his hair as his teeth dragged along her neck. "Are you ready?"
"Unbelievable..." he mumbled dreamily against her skin, making her laugh silently to herself as she pulled away, standing on wobbly legs.
Cal watched her transfixed as he leaned back on his hands, his eyes following her hands as she removed the last of her clothes. Under usual circumstances, with someone else, she felt a strong surge of almost embarrassment at the situation. But not now, not with him, he looked at her as if she were the only other being in the galaxy, lips parted in slight amazement before he found her eyes. And then he smiled softly, endearingly, and it was perhaps the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.
She needed him, desperately, in that moment. Her hands found the band of his boxers, and with a quick look of confirmation she removed them from his body, freeing him. Cal's breath caught slightly at the feeling of the cool night air, body tingling with want.
She straddled him once more, feeling the tip of his erection brush against her entrance. Her hands rested on his chest that rose and fell at a hurried pace, his skin radiating with heat.
"We'll take it slow..." Y/N whispered, lips brushing his before capturing them fully, her hips finally lowering themselves onto him.
His pleasured groan was silenced with a moan of her own as she kissed him, her core aching as he slowly filled her until she finally took all of him. One of Cal's hands flew to her back, pressing her securely into his chest as his other held them both upright.
"You okay?" Cal asked as her head fell to crook of his neck, adjusting to his size.
"Unbelievable," Y/N repeatedly his words from only a moment ago, drawing a smile from him as her hands found his shoulders.
She raised her hips experimentally, watching his eyes fall shut as he soaked in the new feeling, before lowering herself again. Creating a slow but even rhythm as his fingers dug lightly into her skin.
She doubted she would ever be able to forget the pleasured crease that formed between his brows, how his lip caught between his teeth as soft groans escaped him. The gentle breeze from the balcony brushing her skin and lighting the room softly as she rocked her body into his.
"Maker..." Cal finally whispered breathless, his forehead resting against her shoulder as his warm breath fanned her skin.
His voice had grown deeper, desperate, only encouraging her further as she increased her pace, rising higher in her own pleasured haze. A gentle moan escaping her as his lips found her skin once more, hands tangling in his hair.
Cal followed her lead eagerly, his hips managing to meet her as his hand slid upwards between her shoulder blades, urging her closer if it were even possible. Breathless, smothered sounds filled the room, skin against skin, mindless words whispered for only the other to hear.
She could feel the tension of her release tightening, the electricity humming in the room as their bodies worked in sink. Sweat coated their warm skin, causing her to brush the damp strands of hair from his forehead as she rested hers against his. Messy kisses and muffled moans passing between them.
"Y/N I-" Cal gritted out, unable to say more as he desperately tried to hold himself together.
"It's okay," Y/N assured breathlessly, at the edge herself.
Their hips met a few more times before her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, clinging to him as her release came with one final thrust. Cal following her into the bliss as his hand gripped aimlessly at her back, a choked moan of her name vibrating against her shoulder.
With a shaky breath of exhaustion she collapsed into his chest fully. Cal fell backwards gently, his other arm wrapping her more securely to him.
"Cal," Y/N spoke, breaking the comfortable silence. "I think I can sleep now..."
"Me too," Cal huffed out a laugh, meeting her eyes and her smile as he looked down at her.
Another comfortable moment passed before they finally separated, looking at the mess of clothing tossed uncaringly around the room. With shaky hands and tired eyes they manage to clean themselves up and slip on their undergarments, it was all they really need.
When Y/N finally crawled under the warm covers of her bed she felt as if she could sleep soundly for a week, but a surprising absence grabbed her attention.
"What is it?" Y/N asked softly as she watched Cal stand at the beds side apprehensive.
"I didn't know..." he trialed of with a shrug, a flicker of a smile passing across his lips.
"Stay," Y/N replied definitely, pulling the covers in the space next to her back. "I want you to stay."
Cal had no protest as he joined her, the pair sharing a silent back and forth as they tried to settle in. Ending with his chest pressing warmly into her back, his arm winding its way around her as she laid her hand on top of his, resting over her heart.
It was comfortable, natural, a feeling of calm washing over her as she realized this was the safest she felt in a long, long time. Her body relaxing further into his as he somehow managed to pull her closer.
"We have a busy morning ahead of us..." Y/N commented, remembering the reason they came here in the first place.
"We should rest while we can..."
"I should have let you rest instead of... distracting you."
"I don't mind your distractions..." Cal mumbled into her hair, his stubble tickling her jaw as she felt him smile softly.
"Dangerous words," Y/N smiled herself, earning a tired chuckle.
"Words are your weapon, not mine..." he challenged.
"Bode was right, we are quite the pair..."
"I suppose we are."
Y/N turned ever so slightly, catching the serene look on his face, the peace in his eyes. She crooked her neck, kissing him softly, before sinking back into him once more.
It felt like a dream.
"Cal?" Y/N whispered, exhaustion heavy on her tongue.
"Hmm?"
"Promise me you'll be here when I wake up?" She replied. "I might not believe any of this is real..."
"I'm not going anywhere, I promise," he assured quickly, and she knew he meant it, in more ways than one.
A new calm set over her as she finally allowed herself to fall asleep, bodies tangled together. A cool breeze bringing them closer as the lights of Naboo glowed softly through the sheer curtains.