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That cat.
You have been hunting this cat for ages.
Eons.
Decades.
Maybe a few days at most, really.
The rustling in the bushes ahead of you alert you to the fact that you are not alone.
Of course you are not alone. It is still there.
It has always been there.
Its cute little face peeks out of the darkness. Its four eyes stare at you in the kawaiiest way you have ever seen.
You are not tricked by its charms.
This little mutated black cat is your worst nightmare. It pads out into the open, all furball and harmlessness.
No.
You will not be tricked. You will not be duped, jipped, deceived, mislead, trapped, fooled, hoodwinked, conned, deluded, you keep running through your mental thesaurus to distract from the lil furball in front of you.
It mews at you in a way the melts your heart.
No, you are a ruthless killer. You cannot be tempted.
It skips a little closer. Shifting, changing from its little black form. This is what you were waiting for. This moment, when it would show its true nature. When it would become the catwoman. Just like in your Japanese animes.
“Hello, Andrew. I see you can’t stay away from me~” the feline woman purrs. The werecat. The spawn of the devil. Mutated, failed experiment, created by your own creation. Her four eyes glint in the semidarkness.
“Time to die,” you snarl, calling for your flyingdragonsnakecueballeyesdogfamiliar with your mind powers. He hears your call and affirms that he is coming. He’s been waiting for his next time to shine after he puked on the bullies.
“But Andrewww,” whines the devious catwoman, “I thought we had something special.” She glides closer, all feline grace. “I thought… we had this thing, ya know? A never ending chase…” A clawed hand on your shoulder, another on your check. “A never ending struggle for dominance…” Her breath puffs onto your lips as you move closer, hypnotized by those eyes. “A kismesissitude.”
Your lips and hers meet in a beautiful explosion of black romance and hate. You are doing this. You are making this happen. You’re going the full yaoi. Or… un-yaoi you guess. You’re going to full hetero. The full… interspecies romance.
Anyway, it’s happening. The feel of her lips on yours, her fangs digging into your lips and your blunt nails scratching at her while her clawed hands rip through your clothes and rake lines down your back, you redouble your efforts to harm her as you feel she has a distinct advantage, you grab the knife in your belt and you can feel flyingdragonsnakecueballeyesdogfamiliar and he is disapproving from the back of your mind and wow what is this feel of fur against your lips gross wait flyingdragonsnakecueballeyesdogfamiliar is going to attack and the cat is once again just a mutated cat in your arms.
She jumps lightly out of your arms and prances back into the darkness of the surrounding forest, just as flyingdragonsnakecueballeyesdogfamiliar pukes a heaving round of THIS IS STUPID on you and the surrounding area of the clearing.
The werecat is gone from sight, and you are covered in barf.
“MuuuuuuuTIIIIIIIIIIIE!” you screech into the woods. Your hate burns black as ever.