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It doesn’t feel like it should be a big deal. He’s not a girl or nothing, but even if he doesn’t think it should be a big deal, it still feels like it to him. Daryl has never thought of himself as a nervous person, but right now he’s got butterflies in his stomach as Shane’s hands run down his sides. They’ve been doing stuff, together, nice stuff that he’s really enjoyed, but tonight he wants more. The nerves bubble up within him, and though a part of him wants to draw away and hide like he always does, he’s still leaning in to Shane’s touch with a whisper. “Fuck me?”
There is a fear of being rejected, a fear so deep seated within himself that he can never rid himself of the worry of being cast aside. Ignored. Abandoned. But Shane is there, hands over his skin, warm and alive, so damned real and running his lips over the underside of his chin. It makes him shiver, he can feel Shane’s tongue catching over his stubble and he grips at the other man’s shirt for an anchor. This is new territory for him and though he has an idea of the basics, really he’s hanging onto Shane to lead the way for him. Open-mouthed kisses are pressed to his neck, Shane is all over him, setting his skin on fire, grounding him to this moment and not letting him hide behind his nerves.
All the other man has to do is touch him and he’s lost, drowning in pleasure because Shane’s fingers leave him flustered, leave him feeling like a teenager all over again and making him produce the most pathetic whimpers he’s ever heard. It should be embarrassing, he should be ashamed, but Shane is there with him, holding him and pressing his open mouth to his neck until he’s arching up for more. There is no laughter, nothing more than an understanding smile from Shane, his partner, the man that he never thought he would trust this much. At first Daryl is afraid that he’s going to say no, that Shane is going to pull away and laugh at him for thinking he was even worth the other man’s time.
However, when Shane pulls him closer, wraps his arms around his body and holds him tighter with each kiss, that thought fades away. Sometimes it feels like Shane has a hold over him, something strong and safe that makes him want to follow wherever the other man leads. The other man is nodding to him, gasping between kisses and holding him enough that Daryl knows that it’s going to happen. Shane wants him and he wants Shane, and right now in this fucked up world: it’s enough.
He’s not an expert on the subject, but he knows enough about how two guys do it to know that they need to lose some clothing. Grabbing at his belt he begins unbuckling it, ignoring his shaking fingers and the way his breath keeps stuttering in his chest. Shane is beside him, catching his lips with his own for quick kisses in between the removal of his own clothing. Following suite Daryl shoves his pants down, stepping out of them and his underwear, sitting on the bed to wriggle out of his shirt. He can’t help but love the sight of Shane when he’s naked, his body is strong and firm, and when it presses against his own he feels like nothing else in the word matters. But if they’re gonna do this then he knows it’s not gonna work like that.
Guys didn’t have sex like men and women did and he knows it ain’t gonna be like it is in the movies. With straight couples it was all slow and stuff, but he knew it wasn’t like that for guys. So he moves onto the bed, turns his back on Shane and gets onto his hands and knees, winding his fingers into the bed spread and latching himself there. Glancing over his shoulder he can see Shane still standing beside the bed, his cock red and hard, arcing up against his belly. He hopes he’s going to be good enough for him, wants to be good enough for Shane, wants it too feel good for him even if he doesn’t know what he’s doing. But Shane knows him, knows that he needs to be led and he wants Shane to take control. So he waits, on his hands and knees and ready for whatever Shane will give him.
“What’re you doing?” Shane’s voice is husky, darkened with lust but with a fleck of concern and confusion in it.
“Ain’t this…” He’s seen some porn with guys doing it, in the dead of the night when he was alone and able to get the balls to watch it. Maybe he’s not an expert, but he knows a little bit about it. Running his tongue over his lips he tries to stop the nerves showing in his voice, but he knows Shane can hear them anyway. “Ain’t this how it’s ‘sposed to go? For guys?”
Shane is there, with a hand reaching forward to rest on his lower back, over one of his few patches of unscarred skin. His thumb rubs lightly, softly, and Shane moves on to the bed but doesn’t move up behind him, instead the other man moves alongside him, until Daryl can look to the side and they’re face to face. Close enough that Shane can reach out with his steady hands, always so steady and not shaking with nerves at all, to cup his face. “It can, but you want that for your first time?” He asks and Daryl can’t quite meet his eyes for a moment.
He trusts Shane. There ain’t no two ways about that fact. But it’s still hard to open up after a lifetime of keeping stuff to himself. But Shane understands, Shane gets it, and Shane doesn’t push, doesn’t make him say or do anything any quicker than he feels comfortable doing it. So it might take a moment, but Shane’s hands stay on him, coaxing him and giving support without words until he’s able to speak. “No.” He admits, because in the pornos it always seemed so rough and not at all intimate. “Just thought that’s how it goes with guys.”
Again Shane holds him, uses his steady hands to move him, to coax him into lying beside him. Then they’re kissing again, their bodies are pressing together and he can feel how much Shane wants this, the pair of them as hard as each other and wanting. It makes him pant a little, feeling flushed, feeling lost because he’s not good at leading the way, especially not when he’s only ever seen it done the other way in pornos. But Shane is there.
Daryl lets himself get lost in the kisses, his fingers coming up to hang on to Shane around his neck, closing his eyes and just letting Shane take control of it all. Shane doesn’t disappoint, and Daryl can only hum in enjoyment when Shane’s fingers are wet and sliding into him, opening him up and making him feel good like they have before. He knows this part, this is familiar territory and he loves the way Shane can make him feel.
Unlike his brother he’s never been into drugs. He’s taken them, sometimes it was better to say yes to Merle than to try and avoid it, especially when saying no usually meant Merle would slip it to him in secret anyway. But the high he remembers from back then has nothing on Shane. The other man’s touches feel like they keep him alive. Every stroke of his hand down his body makes Daryl arch into it, his skin tingles with every swipe, like a fire is consuming him from the inside. It makes him moan, makes him gasp into kisses and squirm back onto Shane’s fingers for more of that feeling of fullness that he loves.
It’s hard to describe, but it’s how he knows it should be. People didn’t enjoy sex just because of the orgasm at the end of it, they enjoyed the whole thing and this is why. Shane makes him cling harder, makes him want to be here, makes him want contact when he’s avoided it for most of his life. Because he knows Shane, Shane is safe, Shane is trustworthy and Shane has never once made him feel ashamed of being new to all this. It’s like he’s floating on a wave of enjoyment, and even if he’s uncertain in his head, his body knows what to do. His body knows when to arch up, when to rock against Shane’s touch and give himself another spike of a thrill.
They move together, Shane eases his body to where he needs it to be, brings him onto his back, moves between his spread legs and touches over both of their cocks while his other hand continues working Daryl open. The kisses keep him moaning, deep and meaningful when Shane’s tongue rubs along his own, leads him in the right direction when he feels so lost. Shane’s fingers stretch him open, more being added, scissoring inside of him until he’s squirming, the discomfort turning into pleasure slowly. Through it all Shane watches him, reads him, knows how he needs it all.
Shane moves to cup at the back of his neck, bringing him in for another kiss before pulling back to let their eyes meet. “You ready for me?” He asks, voice barely above a whisper, shared only between the two of them and nobody else. The nerves swirl inside of him, he can feel himself tense in worry, but Shane is there, Shane is hushing him, kissing him, stretching him and rubbing on that sweet spot inside of him that makes his cock leak. “I’ll go slow, you just gotta tell me if it’s too much alright? You gotta let me know Daryl.” Shane tells him and the thing is, Daryl knows he will. Even if he thinks he should suck it up and take any pain, he knows that would only hurt Shane, and he never wants that.
So he nods, and he means it, and he leans in to kiss Shane himself with his arms still around the other man’s neck. “I want you.” He tells him, voice low but full of honesty. “I want this.”
When Shane leans back he lies back against the pillows, arms above his head as he tries not to seem so nervous about this all. He knows he wants it, and so does Shane. There is the sound of Shane applying more lube to his dick, and Daryl can feel the cool smears of it around his hole from being stretched, he hopes it’s enough. Biting on his lower lip he finds it hard to watch as Shane moves against him, so he closes his eyes and tries to focus on how good it will feel instead of the blunt thickness pressing against him. He can feel Shane’s fingers on him, in him, spreading him open before pressing his cock at his hole and it feels so much thicker than his fingers.
He can’t help but make a small noise of surprise at the feeling, it’s a lot, it feels hot and he can feel as Shane presses himself inside of his body. It’s difficult not to squirm, not to shift away from the discomfort, but Shane is there, hand on his inner thigh and soothing him to stay still. He trusts him, so he breathes, he stays where he is and he can hear Shane hushing him gently, easing him through it. It takes time. He stays as calm as he can and Shane only moves a little at a time, there is not forceful rushing, and as they get further through it, it feels more comfortable.
Even if he’s only ever had Shane’s fingers before, Daryl knows he loves the feeling of being full, and right now he feels so damned full. His cock has flagged a little to only being half hard, but when Shane leans over to kiss him, nipping at his lips and kissing him hard, it helps. For a moment Shane stays still inside of him, just kissing him, reaching up to cup at his face and cradle him for a second. When he opens his eyes Shane is there, meeting his eyes and looking so damned hot, panting, and there is a heat in his eyes that Daryl knows he is the reason for it. Shane looks like he is drowning in pleasure at the moment, his cock sheathed inside of him and fuck Daryl likes being the reason for that look.
They take a moment, Shane reaches down to rub over his cock a little, helping to coax him back to full hardness and Daryl finds himself enjoying the sensation of being full as Shane touches him. The pressure inside of him feels good against that spot Shane usually rubs for him, and the mix of it all is new sure, but it’s good too. A different type of good, but good all the same. Taking a breath he shifts a little, enough to move less than an inch over Shane’s cock and then back into place, and above him Shane is swearing, biting on his lip and clearly restraining himself. “Move.” Daryl tells him, one hand reaching down to curl about his cock, stroking over himself and enjoying that feeling as well as the new feeling of Shane moving inside of him.
It’s an interesting mix. Rubbing over his cock always feels good, and there is the new feeling of being stretched open, being full, having that spot inside of him rubbed and pressed with each slow and east thrust of Shane’s body. They move together, more rocking into each other at first, just as he gets used to it all, but with each movement it feels better, feels easier and he can feel how Shane is groaning above him. He knows that if this is good for him, then it’s got to be good for Shane. With each new motion he can feel himself start to pant, enjoying the feeling, his body used to the level of discomfort and covering it with the pleasure that’s beginning to wash over him. Each new movement is like a wave breaking over him, washing away the awkwardness and leaving such a damned good feeling in his core.
At first he doesn’t realise he’s panting, moaning a little at the feeling, his cock leaking onto his fingers as he rubs over himself. It seems to have an affect on Shane too, and he can feel as the other man begins moving in earnest, begins actually fucking him instead of being careful. Begins taking his own real pleasure from it all. And he gets to see it. Gets to be the reason for it. That makes it feel even better.
Before long he’s moaning loudly with every thrust of Shane’s body inside of him, and he can feel the moment the discomfort is nothing compared to the thrill that shoots through him every time Shane presses against that spot inside of him. It feels better than when it’s just his fingers, because there is the added stretch, the feeling of fullness alongside it and he can feel the pleasure building inside of him. Shane is pressing into him so perfectly, and he really didn’t think it could ever feel as good as this. With one hand he strokes his dick, with the other he reaches up to pull Shane closer, to hang on around his neck and kiss him deeply as it really becomes so good. Every inch of him feels like it’s buzzing, Shane can make him feel so perfect, like he never needs anybody else in the world.
Groaning a little he loves watching Shane above him, loves getting to see his face contort in pleasure, loves to be the one giving him that. Shane pants hard into every kiss, his hands move to Daryl’s hips and keeps him steady, keeps him grounded as they fuck and it’s so damned good. He can feel that build up within himself, his nerves all tingling all over, and it’s with a grunt that he’s pulling back from Shane’s mouth to try and breathe through it. “Shane, Shane I’m gonna come, fuck I’m gonna come.” He tells him, breath rushed through his lips.
Shane leans back enough to tilt his head down, his hips still moving, and reaching down a hand to join Daryl’s over his cock. They work him together, Shane groaning above him as he crests the wave and feels it all rush over him. Daryl comes with a low moan, his cock jerking between them, pulsing out come onto his stomach and chest, Shane’s motions causing it to spatter everywhere. He feels overwhelmed, each clench of his body feeling too damned good when Shane is still inside him, adding pressure to that spot when his cock is already oversensitive. It helps him ride it longer, makes him swear and rock back again for another moment of that pressure, his body shuddering with it all.
He’s breathing heavily, body still tingling, still clenching and relaxing his muscles in time with the aftershocks as he lies back to watch Shane. It’s so damned good to get to see him like this, to get to watch as Shane pumps into him, as he gasps and stutters with a few deep thrusts until he’s gritting his teeth and stilling deep inside of him as his orgasm hits. He can feel Shane’s cock inside of him, can feel it pulse and that feeling makes him whimper a little, makes him wrap his arms around Shane’s neck and bring him in for a deep kiss. Shane is groaning, his tongue stumbling around his mouth as they kiss, and Daryl likes being the one to make him lose his usually so perfect control.
They’re both breathing heavily, both panting into each other’s mouths as all the tension seeps out of their bodies and Shane is on top of him, their bodies melded together as it all comes to an end. They’re sweating; he’s still wound around Shane as the other man shifts enough to get his now sensitive cock free, but not moving away. Daryl ends up curled with Shane, the two of them entwined together, legs tangled, chests still heaving with deep breaths as they just enjoy each other. Lazy kisses are shared, Daryl knows they’re sticky, covered in lube and come and sweat, but right now he doesn’t care, because he’s with Shane. And that’s all he needs.
All he’s ever going to need.