Chapter Text
He shouldn’t have allowed this. She was going to be lonely.
Oliver should have found a way to have his sister buried in the family plot next to his mother and his father’s grave. Even if one of them was empty. Even if the plot was on an abandoned property they no longer owned and the mansion they grew up in was nothing but a burnt out shell of ruins.
It didn’t matter. This wasn’t right. Thea didn’t belong in this cold cemetery on the outskirts of the city with no one she knew.
Oliver knew that getting her in the family plot would have been a legal nightmare and it would have delayed the funeral and the body was…. Christ, he should never have given into the pressure to get her in the ground. She was going to be lonely.
Thea hated being alone. She was a people person. She was…
A tear fell down Oliver’s cheek, breaking through the numbness that defined his life for the last three days. He knelt in front of his sister’s fresh grave and his hand began to shake.
What would happen if Oliver really let the grief in? If the numbness and the walls and … if he really let himself feel…
What if he didn’t have a choice? And it all came tumbling down whether he was ready or not. The thought of really feeling, feeling it all … terrified Oliver.
This was so fucking wrong. So unfair. Thea didn’t deserve the life she’d been given, never mind the death. Her life was just one tragedy after another and, yet, she had overcome so much of it. Endured so much pain. All to come to this.
With everything they had been through, everything Oliver and all of them had sacrificed to get Thea in that damn Pit to bring her back to them. All the side effects and the demons she had fought, determined to stay strong, to stay sane. All of that and here they were, full circle, one year later.
Thea alone in the fucking ground anyway. Nothing better. Nothing gained.
If Oliver had known, maybe he wouldn’t have brought Thea to Nanda Parbat in the first place. And he wouldn’t have… he shouldn’t have left her alone for five fucking months while he lived out his little domestic fantasy. It may have been the best months of his life, but he should have been sharing that with his sister.
Thea’d had one fucking year left on this Earth and Oliver had selfishly ran away from her for half of it. It wasn’t even like Felicity had wanted to be away. It was all on him.
Thea was his only family. How could Oliver’s perfect life not include her? He should have—
“Hey.”
Oliver jerked at the soft hand on his shoulder, eyes flying up, muscles tensing, only relaxing when he saw it was Felicity on her knees in front of him. God, where had his instincts gone? Anyone could have snuck up on him. This was fucking dangerous. He still had people counting on him.
“What are you...?” Oliver rasped, his voice cracking.
“Shhh,” Felicity soothed, her thumb swiping away his tears and stroking his cheek.
But Oliver shook his head. “You…you’re supposed to be in the hospital.” He had left her there this morning where everyone had agreed she needed to stay.
Felicity shrugged, giving him a sad little smile. “I convinced the doctors I needed to be here more. I guess I wasn’t quick enough, though. I’m sorry I missed the service.”
Oliver shook his head, the tears falling freely now, too distracted to fight them. “The doctors said you needed to stay,” he insisted. Why was Felicity ignoring doctor’s orders now, of all times? He needed her to be ok.
“They figured it out,” Felicity told him softly. “I’m cleared. I promise.”
But her face was covered in scrapes and bruises and there was a brace on her wrist, all reminding Oliver that she had been out there too, in the middle of the battle that had killed his sister. Felicity should never be out there.
“I need you to be ok,” Oliver whispered brokenly. “I can’t lose you too.”
“I know. You won’t.” Felicity nodded, tears filling her eyes. “But I wanted to be here. I needed to be here. For you. For me. For Thea.”
It was Felicity’s tears that finally broke him and Oliver listed forward with a sob, falling into her. Felicity caught him, cradled him to her chest as he squeezed his eyes tightly shut and tears fell and he sobbed, sobbed like he hadn’t allowed himself to do in years. Not for his mother. Not for Tommy. Or Sara. Or Shado. A dam had broken and Oliver was falling apart.
The only thing holding him together was Felicity’s hands in his hair and her lips against the top of his head and her body pressed to his as Oliver’s fingers dug into her back.
“It’s not fair,” Felicity whispered when Oliver’s sobs had finally settled into a quieter stream of tears. “Thea was just learning to deal with the effects of the Lazarus Pit.”
Which was a lie. Or a delusion. Thea had been as bad as ever. Half the reason Thea had died was because she wasn’t thinking straight. She was violent and reckless and wild. It had been a constant struggle for her fight the demon inside her.
But Oliver didn’t argue. He just clutched Felicity tighter and let her speak. The sound of her voice was the only thing that could soothe him.
“And I was just getting to know her. I always wanted a sister,” Felicity’s voice shook. “And she was just so…she was such an amazing person.”
“She was,” Oliver agreed, though he knew Thea had changed. God, if only Felicity had known her before. Thea had been a force of nature. The brightest, most beautiful child. He wanted to tell Felicity all about it. About the baby he had held in his arms, the dynamic little girl he had grown up with, and the women her sister had been, could have been, if it hadn’t been stolen from them, first by Ra’s and the Pit and now by a premature death.
But just imagining the little girl he had lost and all the pain Thea had endured and Oliver couldn’t speak. The sobs came back with a new force, tearing through him for long minutes, until Oliver slumped against Felicity, exhausted, his lungs burning, his chest aching.
When he finally stopped shaking, Oliver managed to pull himself together and sit up. Taking a deep breath, Oliver tilted Felicity’s face back and met her eyes. He was looking for something he could hold on to and he found it. Felicity always centered him. Carefully, he pushed her hair behind her ears and swiped his thumbs under her glasses to wipe her drenched cheeks.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” Felicity repeated, her lip trembling. Oliver ran his thumb over that too, trying to soothe, needing to touch.
“I need you healthy more,” Oliver argued, his eyes following his thumb, his voice no more than a rasp.
“Did you give her a rose for me? Thea needed… she needed roses.”
Oliver nodded, eyes burning, but he couldn’t imagine he had any tears left. “I did. I promise. We all did.”
“I should have been with you,” Felicity insisted, her eyes earnest and distraught.
“I had Digg and Lyla and Laurel.”
“It’s not the same.”
Oliver pressed a kiss to her forehead and took a tremulous breath, admitting, “No, it isn’t.” But, then, before Felicity could beat herself up more, he asked, “What did the doctors say?”
In many ways, Oliver was more upset that he hadn’t spoken to the doctors at her discharge than that Felicity had missed the funeral.
“That I’m fine.”
Oliver frowned, but realizing he had Felicity on the cold ground, he managed to drag himself to his feet and reach down to help Felicity up as well, brushing them both off. “And what changed since this morning?”
“The blood work came back. I’m fine.”
She kept saying ‘fine.’ Oliver didn’t want to be suspicious. He couldn’t tell if she was hiding something from him or if it was just the grief and the terror and the overprotectiveness fighting inside him that made him doubt her word. He needed her to be fine, goddamn it. He fucking needed…he couldn’t do this without her. Especially now.
Felicity took Oliver’s hands, asking, “You ready to go?”
Oliver started to nod, but hesitated. It still felt wrong to leave.
“It’s stupid,” Oliver confessed, his eyes again drawn to the headstone. “I can’t help but feel like…” It was ridiculous really, but this was Felicity and if anyone was going to understand it was her. “I can’t help but feel like, if I leave Thea will be lonely.”
Felicity smiled softy and reached up to cup his cheeks. “Oliver, love, Thea’s not lonely. She’s with your mom and dad and with Tommy.” And then, miraculously, she smiled, her eyes even managing to twinkle just a bit. “Can you just imagine Tommy’s face when he finds out she’s his sister?”
And, somehow, Oliver managed to smile too. His first real smile in weeks, which, ironically, started the tears flowing again. But this tale Felicity spun, of his loved ones together, at peace, he wanted to believe it badly. Oliver clung to it as he clung to her hands, holding them to his face, leaning into her palms.
Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, Oliver murmured. “They’re all together now. It’s only me left.”
“Oh, Oliver.” Felicity came up onto her toes to press a kiss to his lips. “You’re not alone.”
“I know,” he rushed to reassure. “I know and I love you. God, I love you. But, Felicity, she was the only family I had left.”
Felicity fell back on her heels and blew out a breath, waiting for Oliver to meet her eyes, before saying, “No. She’s not.”
“I know you’re family. And Digg and—”
Shaking her head, Felicity interrupted, her voice strange and raspy, “There’s still one more Queen left.” Her hand trembled as she took his and placed it over her stomach.”
Oliver froze. He stopped breathing. “I don’t understand.”
Felicity swallowed. “The blood work…. why I fainted at the hospital this morning… We’re having a baby, Oliver.”
Oh dear God. Oh dear… Oliver’s thoughts stuttered to a stop, his breathing doing the same soon after.
Felicity babbled on, “I know this is terrible timing, like really really it couldn't be worse, and I wasn’t going to tell you just yet, but I thought…I think you should know. That you aren't the only Queen left.”
Oliver's hand clenched over Felicity’s belly as his other fell to her shoulder. He thought he may have swayed on his feet. “How?”
Wringing her hands together, Felicity bit her lip, her eyes flying anxiously over his face. “I guess all those late nights and all nights and crises and dying and yeah... Well, I guess I must have missed a few pills. I'm sorry—”
“No. No… Don't be sorry. God…please… don’t be sorry.” A hysterical laugh that could have been a sob emerged from his mouth and Oliver kissed her, a firm and reassuring pressure, one that tasted of salt. Then a terrible thought occurred to him. “Are you ok? The explosion…?”
“I’m fine, the doctors said I…we are fine. Both of us. Apparently, it's,” Felicity waved her hand in front of her abdomen, “rather well protected at this stage.”
“Thank god,” Oliver breathed, hauling Felicity into his arms and holding her close. His mind was already running through the increased precautions they would need. He needed to get Felicity back to the bunker. It was the safest place. Then he needed to keep her there until this was done. And it needed to be done. Soon.
Felicity clung back just as tight, her face buried in Oliver’s neck. “Thea would have loved being an Aunt,” she rasped.
A lump stuck in Oliver's throat. No one would have been happier about a baby than Thea. She would have loved… Oliver swallowed, whispering, “Yes, she would have.”
“I know it's crazy, but the timing…I just…I kind of feel like Thea had something to do with it. Like the baby is like a parting gift or something…. like a little part of Thea she left for us. Is that crazy? It's crazy, isn't it?”
“No,” he croaked, hugging her closer. “It's not crazy, it's…” Oliver shook his head, completely overcome. “It's…I… I’m just so glad, Felicity.”
Felicity smiled up at him tearfully. “Me too, Oliver. Me too.”