Chapter Text
Jill had been sitting on the windowsill of her chamber, with a tea cup sitting idly in her lap. Her chambermaid was currently busy cleaning the room, giving Jill the perfect opportunity to be lost in thought. She was watching the garden from her window. The bearers were currently trimming the bushes in order to prepare for the upcoming feast, which was supposed to happen in a fortnight.
It was then that Jill noticed him.
This was weird, was her first thought. Normally, Clive would be in the training yard already. He was standing next to some flowers and was seemingly talking to someone who was crouched down next to the flowers. The person stood up and revealed themself to be a girl.
Jill didn’t know who she was.
The girl held onto Clive’s arm and seemed to be talking rather excitedly. Both of them started strolling around the garden.
Jill didn’t know why, but she felt like someone had punched her in the stomach.
"Margaret?"
The chambermaid stopped what she was doing immediately. "Yes, my lady?"
Jill pointed at the pair outside her window. "Who is that girl?"
Margaret walked over immediately and leaned outside the window to see who Jill had meant.
"The lady next to Lord Marquess?" Jill simply nodded as a reply. "That is Lady Lacy Rotthill. She is part of Rosaria’s nobility. Her family works closely with his lordship's uncle."
"So she’s family?" Jill kept her gaze on the pair outside as they sat down on one of the benches.
"Only very distant family, my lady. The duchess and Lady Rotthill’s mother share a great grandfather."
Jill felt saddened for some unexplainable reason.
-
She found him on the balcony late at night, sitting on the banister like usual. It had become their usual meeting place. Whenever he went on a mission, she’d stand right here and pray to Metia for his safe return.
"I couldn’t find you anywhere today." She said, instead of an introduction.
Clive turned toward her. "Sorry, my lady. I was busy today."
"I saw you in the garden with Lady Lacy earlier. I didn’t think you were someone who enjoyed idle walks when you could be training instead."
Clive gave her a tight smile. "The Rotthills came for a visit, and mother asked me to show Lady Lacy around the castle today."
"That’s all?" Jill hoped that was truly it.
"Yes. There was nothing else to it." He simply replied.
Jill knew he was lying. He was always a terrible liar, even though Jill had never noticed it until Lord Byron pointed it out to her. There was more to it, but Clive was obviously not willing to share it.
"What else did you do today besides show around the Lady Lacy?" Jill wouldn’t doubt him, or at least not let her doubt be known to him. If Clive didn’t want her to know anything more, she’d not pressure to know the truth.
She’d simply enjoy this moment between them. No one could take that away from her.
At least for now.
-
The Duchess had invited Jill to her luncheon the next day. Jill didn’t know why. Usually, she wasn’t invited.
The other ladies were busy gossiping, but Jill couldn’t find herself to care much about it. She’d rather be outside playing with Torgal and Joshua. Maybe even Clive, if he wasn’t busy being a shield of Rosaria.
The chamber door opened, and a woman walked in. The Duchess stood up, which meant everyone had to stand.
"Lady Veronica, I was worried you might have been lost on the way." Said the duchess.
Lady Veronica curtsied. "I apologize for my lateness, your grace. My daughter kept me in her company longer than necessary."
"All is well. Take a seat." Everyone sat down again. Lady Veronica was served tea immediately by one of the maids.
"How is our dear Lacy faring?" Asked the duchess. Jill’s ears perked up at the name. Lady Veronica must be Lady Rotthill’s mother.
"Rather well, your grace. She kept me busy with her dress choice all morning." Lady Veronica laughed ladylike. "She was worried about whether she looked lovelier in a lilac or a rose-coloured one. I told her both dresses were lovely on her, but she didn’t want to hear it. ‘I must look perfect today’ she kept repeating."
The Duchess laughed lightly. Jill couldn’t remember ever hearing the duchess laugh, if it wasn’t in mock.
"I hope my son has been company then?"
"Of course, your grace. In fact, I heard nothing but praise about the lord marquess." Lady Veronica sighed. "Lacy kept talking about what a gallant and handsome young man he is. She seems to fancy him quiet a bit."
Jill felt like someone had stabbed her in the stomach with a knife.
"I don’t think there is any young lady who doesn’t fancy the Lord Marquess." Said another lady. Jill couldn’t remember what her name was, though. "He is even more handsome than his grace was in his youth. He must have gotten it from you, your grace."
"Oh, you flatter me." The Duchess put on a smile that Jill knew was fake. She hated it whenever people pointed out that Clive looked a lot like her.
"Well, if Lady Lacy fancies the Lord so much, perhaps we are lucky to hear some wedding bells soon." Another lady cut in.
The Duchess put on a wicked grin and looked intently at Jill. "Well, hopefully very soon."
Jill could feel the knife in her stomach twisting.
-
Jill expected to find him on the balcony again, like usual. Instead, she found no one other than Lady Lucy.
"What are you doing up so late at night, my lady?" Jill asked as she approached her.
Lady Lacy jumped a little, having not heard Jill approaching. "I couldn’t find any sleep and thought some fresh air would help tire me some more. You’re Lady Warrick, am I right?"
Please call me Jill. Being called Lady Warrick by someone my age feels wrong to me."
"If you wish, Lady Jill, then you must also call me Lacy instead." Lady Lacy looked toward the moon once again. It painted her in a light, which made her skin seem as soft as a pastry. "The view is astounding. I’ve rarely seen anything as beautiful as this."
"How have you been enjoying your visit so far, my lady?"
"Quite well. The Lord Marquess has been lovely company." Lady Lacy blushed. It painted his cheeks with a lovely blush. Jill wondered what it took to look truly this beautiful.
"Well, I hope Clive has been nothing but kind to you."
"Of course. You two are quite close, aren’t you?" Lady Lacy asked.
"Oh, yes. The brothers and I have been close since I came here, when I was but a small child."
Lady Lacy sighed. "Growing up here seems lovely. Perhaps, if everything goes well, I’ll be living here soon as well. I hope we can become fast friends till then."
Jill could feel the knife in her stomach twist once again. Lady Lacy was truly lovely, and feeling badly that way about her made Jill feel like a horrible person.
"I hope so as well, my lady." Lady Lacy yawned quietly.
"It's getting late. I will go to bed. It was nice to meet you, Lady Jill."
"Goodnight, Lady Lacy."
Jill turned towards the moon once Lady Lacy left. She spoke a prayer to Metia, begging for Clive to not leave her life just yet.
-
Joshua and Jill were watching Clive spar when she appeared. Lady Lacy was wearing a lilac dress with a lot of white-trimmed lace, which should definitely be worn when going out to the muddy training yard. But still, she looked like the most beautiful girl Jill had ever seen.
The lady curtsied before them. "Your grace, my lady. Good morning."
"Good morning to you as well, Lady Lacy." Said Joshua kindly. "Are you here to watch the men spar."
"Yes." Lady Lacy said it with a sweet smile. "I wanted to see the greatest shield of Rosaria fight with my own eyes."
"Well, then you have come to the right place." Lady Lacy turned around to watch the sparring match closely.
Clive was currently fighting Lord Commander Murdoch. It only took a couple more swings until Clive had him on his back, yielding. Jill sprang from her seat next to Joshua and applauded.
Lady Lacy did the same. "Wonderfully done, Lord Marquess."
Clive’s eyes shot up at her voice. He gave the training sword to a servant and walked over to them.
"Lady Lacy, I didn’t know you’d come to the training yard." He said it curtly.
"Well, my father kept talking about what a fine shield you were. I just had to see it myself, my lord." She looked up at him with sparkling eyes.
"I hope I’ve met your expectations, my lady." He said with a tight smile.
"You even overcame them, my lord." Lady Lacy beamed before taking Clive’s arm and placing herself right next to him. "I was wondering if you would fancy a walk through town, my lord?"
"Why not?" Clive looked toward Joshua and Jill. "We haven’t been in a while."
Joshua shot up from his seat. "Yes, I bet it will be much fun."
Lady Lacy’s smile dropped for an instant before she swiftly overplayed her disappointment. She obviously had hoped to be alone with Clive, but neither of the Rosfield brothers seemed to notice.
Joshua gripped Jill’s hand. "Come on. Let’s go."
-
Lady Lacy seemed rather quiet during their walk through town. She obviously didn’t know how to deal with the informal manner in which the trio normally behaved. She just kept walking next to them, keeping a vice-like grip on Clive’s arm, which annoyed Jill for some reason.
They sat down at a fountain, eating some sweets they had bought on the way. Lady Lacy used the opportunity to talk to only Clive. Jill wasn’t listening closely, but she could still hear the flirtatious tone that she had adopted.
Joshua was watching a girl who was standing a couple of meters away from them and the fountain. The girl had short brown hair and similar-coloured eyes. She seemed to be wearing one of the robes of the Undying.
Joshua excused himself from Jill and walked over to the girl. Jill used the opportunity to slip away from the couple next to her.
The feeling of hurt had only grown since she had first seen Clive and Lady Lacy in the garden. It was like a knife that someone kept stabbing her with whenever she saw the two of them.
It was obvious what was going on. They were courting, which meant they’d be engaged soon and then married. They would move to a mansion not far from here, and Clive would inherit some land. Then they’d start having children, which were as beautiful as both of them. Then they’d die once they were old and grey and end up being buried together.
Jill rounded a corner and started running once she was out of their sight. The tears started spilling out of her eyes and blurring her vision.
She would be married to some lord she didn’t know. Jill was sure of it. She would lose her home. For the second time in her life. But even worse than that.
She would lose Clive.
She didn’t want to lose him.
She was utterly and completely in love with him.
She had known in for some time but had hoped to burry her feelings. But she couldn’t.
Jill stopped running once she was out of breath. She looked around and found herself in some alleyway, which she didn’t know. She leaned against the brick wall and closed her eyes, hoping to stop the tears.
"And who do we have here?" Slurred a man. Jill’s eye shot open. The man was stumbling towards her. He was clearly drunk.
Jill was about to walk away when the man took hold of her arm.
"Let go of me." She screamed, hoping someone might hear her.
"Oh, come on, little bird. Stop fighting. I’m nice company." The man kept slurring. The man stroked her cheek with his other hand.
Jill pushed him away with all her might and turned around to run. The man was faster. He ripped her back toward him. He was now holding her in his arms. His front pressed against her back.
"Stop that, little bird." He whispered in her ear. "We could have some fun together." He completed his statement by rubbing his hardon against her backside.
"No!" She screamed. "Let go of me!"
His hand shot up towards her mouth to silence her. She bit down hard until she felt blood in her mouth. The man screamed out in pain and pushed her towards the ground.
Jill crawled backwards until her back hit the wall. The man looked furious now. He walked towards her with purpose in his step.
His steps rang out loudly in the silent alleyway.
Clack. Clack.
Jill pressed her eyes shut when he reached his hand out towards her.
That was when she felt it. A cold sensation ran through her body. Calling out to her. Reaching out a helping hand.
She took it.
Coldness rushed through her body.
Ice cold.
Her eyes shot open.
She reached out and felt small ice crystals leave her fingertips and shoot forward. The crystals grew ever bigger until they reached the man and turned into a massive ice crystal surrounding the man.
His expression was frozen into one of pure agony and shock.
Jill stood up and looked down at her hands. Her entire skin had turned as white as snow. Blue crystals were running over her skin like veins.
Jill understood immediately. Her mother had once told her a bedtime story about the queen of ice and snow.
Shiva.
The eikon of the northern territories. She thought the eikon was forever lost together with her home. That it would meet a similar end as Leviathan the lost had.
But no.
It wasn’t lost.
It was right here within her. She was a dominant. The dominant of ice. The dominant of shiva.
"Jill?" It was Clive’s voice.
The voice came from the other side of the alleyway. She turned towards it and was met with the shocked gazes of Clive, Joshua, Lady Lacy, and some shields from the city guard.
-
They were standing in the throne room, all lined up. Jill could feel the curious gazes on her skin.
They were ushered inside the castle immediately. The Archduke had to know of this.
And now here they stood together with the Archduke, Lord Commander Murdoch, the Duchess, and Lord and Lady Rotthill, who had to console their daughter, who had collapsed earlier out of fright. Clive and Joshua were standing on Jill’s left and right side, slightly behind her. The Archduke was watching her with curious eyes.
"And what you tell me is the truth?" The Archduke asked his sons.
"Yes, your grace." Answered Clive dutifully.
"Show him, Jill." Said Joshua softly.
"I can’t." Jill was sure she was going to collapse like Lady Lacy very soon.
"Just summon some ice." Joshua summoned some flames as an example. "I know you can do it."
"And what if I don’t want to." Jill just wanted to go back to before all of this happened. When her only concern was that she might lose the boy she loved. She wanted everybody to stop looking at her like she was worth more than they thought she was. Like she was some animal which was available for sale.
Clive laid a hand on her shoulder. "Jill. Just do it. I know you can."
Jill closed her eyes and breathed. She concentrated until she could feel the coldness inside her hand instead of her whole body. She set the coldness free. When she opened her eyes, she could see an ice crystal floating over her hand.
Sharp intakes of breath could be heard all around the room.
"This changes things." The Archduke muttered.
"There’s only one solution." The Duchess exclaimed loudly. "We must combine the bloodlines of the phoenix and shiva."
"Let’s not make decisions too hastily, Annabella."
"This is a sign from the gods, Elwin." The Duchess said. "We must take the opportunity as it has now arisen. Our nation will be undefeatable with not only one but two eikons in our possession. We must secure that it stays that way."
The Archduke sighed. "So you propose what exactly?"
"Marry the girl to Joshua." She simply replied as if it were the most obvious answer.
Jill could feel her world crumbling down. She loved Joshua. Truly, she did. But only as a younger brother.
"No." Joshua said simply.
"What?" Both his parents stared at him.
"I love Jill. I truly do. But she is my sister, and I do not wish to marry her." He took a couple steps forward. "You promised me that I would be able to choose my bride, father."
"Don’t be ridiculous, Joshua." His mother did not seem amused.
"You promised me, father. And what man breaks a promise?"
"This is a different kind of situation, Joshua." Argued the Archduke.
"If anything, it’s too risky." Joshua argued back. "We don’t know what might happen if you directly combine the blood of two dominants. Trying to play god would be a grave mistake."
"And what should we do instead?"
"We could still make sure Shiva stays in the family. Combining the bloodlines less directly seems less harmful."
The Archduke leaned forward, intrigued. "Elaborate."
Joshua continued. "Marry Jill and Clive. That way, Shiva will stay in the Rosfield line, but separately from the phoenix."
The Archduke stood up from his throne. "Very well-
"Wait!" Exclaimed both Jill and the Rotthill’s.
"We were promised a marriage between our Lacy and the Lord Marquess." Lord Rotthill exclaimed furiously.
"I made no such promise." Archduke Elwin said it coldly.
Lady Rotthill opened her mouth. "But the Duchess-
"My wife does not hold the power to make such decisions. To think she would make such promises would be naught but foolish. Aren’t I correct, Annabella?" The Archduke turned towards his wife.
"Of course, my dear." Annabella answered through gritted teeth. "I would never undermine my husband."
Jill heard both Joshua and Clive chuckle.
"Alright then." The Archduke turned back towards the trio, standing in front of the throne. "Clive Rosfield!"
Clive walked forward before he fell on one knee in front of the Archduke. "Yes, your grace."
"I ask you to take Lady Warrick’s hand in marriage. Do you accept?"
Clive bowed his head. "If it is what your grace commands, then I will do my duty." Jill’s heart broke a little with the realization that she would only ever be another one of his duties from now on.
"It is." Assured the Archduke. "Lady Warrick, do you accept my son's hand in marriage?"
Jill curtsied. "Of course, your grace." Her voice came out hollow. She never thought the idea of marrying Clive would sadden her this much.
"Well then we’re done here. I’ll announce the engagement at the next feast. The wedding can wait until Lady Warrick is of age." Archduke Elwin turned and left the throne room, with Lord Commander Murdoch and the Duchess trailing after him.
The Rotthills went to leave the throne room through the main exit. The one thing they came to the capital for had vanished. Lady Lacy came to a halt in front of Clive. Her face looked tear-stained, but it was still as beautiful as an angel.
"I would have been a good wife to you, my Lord. I’m truly saddened that it will never be. I fancied you quiet a bit and thought the feeling was mutual. Wasn’t it, my Lord?" She looked up at him with hopeful eyes. As if reciprocating her feelings would be enough for her.
"Safe journey home, my lady." With that, Clive strode off in the same direction the Archduke had gone.
Lady Lacy’s face fell immediately. Jill couldn’t help but feel sorry for the girl. Clive sometimes acted rather coldly when faced with the feelings or emotions of someone else. Jill was convinced he had inherited this coldness from the Duchess, but decided to better keep her mouth shut about it.
"I wish you all the best in life, dearest Lady Jill." Lady Lacy gave her a saddened smile.
"I wish you all the best in life as well, Lady Lacy. May it be as beautiful as you are." Lady Lacy gave her thanks before quickly striding after her family.
Joshua and Jill now found themselves alone inside the quiet throne room.
"I’m sorry, Jill." Joshua said this before taking her hands in his own.
"For what?"
"For making decisions without really consulting you."
"Don’t worry, Joshua." Jill assured him, giving him the best smile she could muster. "I always knew my life would be decided in such a way."
"That still doesn’t make it right."
"But at least I will be marrying Clive. Which means we three can stay together forever." Joshua pulled her into a hug.
"We have much to discuss, since we’re both dominants now." He muttered into her hair. "It’s going to be fun." He pulled away and made to leave, but stopped himself once more. "Are you at least happy because you get to marry the one you’ve been in love with for an eternity?"
Jill turned red. "Was I that obvious?"
"Well, the glares you kept sending at Lady Lacy, when you thought no one was watching, were." He grinned at her and left Jill alone inside the throne room.
-
She found him on the balcony once again. He was sitting on the banister once more, his legs swinging idly over the edge. The moonlight painted a soft glow over his entire being.
"Wishing on a star?" She asked.
Clive tuned around and slid off the banister, opting to rather lean against it. "I’m still too old for that."
An uncomfortable silence set in between them as they both looked up at the night sky. Neither one knew what to say.
"I’m sorry, Clive."
"What for?"
"That your engagement with Lady Lacy was broken up. She seemed truly lovely." Jill could barely stop her voice from trembling when she said it.
Clive, meanwhile, let out a small laugh. "Well, I wasn’t very excited about the prospect of marrying her anyway. Marriage never interested me much, as a matter of fact. Protecting Joshua will always be my first priority, and that will never change."
Jill felt that all-too-familiar feeling in her stomach return. The knife kept twisting and twisting.
"I understand. I would expect nothing less. Still, I need to apologize. Marrying a monster like me was surely never a wish of yours."
"A monster?" Clive looked at her like she had gone crazy.
"I froze a man alive today. That’s not something a normal lady should be able to do." She fidgeted with her fingers, trying to calm herself down a little. "I didn’t even feel any remorse. What does that make me, if not a monster?"
Clive turned Jill toward himself and took hold of her shoulders.
"You were merely defending yourself against a horrible man. That doesn’t make you a monster. Being dominant doesn’t make you a monster. Or would you say Joshua is a monster for being born the phoenix?" Jill shook her head. "Exactly. You aren’t a monster for being born as Shiva."
"Thank you, Clive. Your being too kind."
"No, you're just being too hard on yourself." He let go of her shoulders. "And in fact, there is no one else I’d rather marry than you." Jill looked up from the floor immediately. Clive was looking directly at her, a blush softly blooming on his cheeks.
"Truly? You mean it?" Jill asked excitedly.
"Of course. You’re the only girl I’ve ever loved, my lady." Jill felt an ever-growing smile blossom on her face.
"And you’re the only boy I’ve ever loved, my lord."
"Wait, let me ask you this properly then." He slid the Rosfield insignia ring from his finger and knelt down on one knee. "I don’t actually know how to do this properly, so bear with me. Lady Jill Warrick, would you do me the honour and grant me your hand in marriage."
"Yes, yes, yes." She threw herself in his arms, causing both of them to tumble to the ground.
"Wait. I need to give you the ring at least." He took hold of her hand and softly slid it onto one of her fingers. It was way too big for her, but she didn’t care. She would treasure it for the rest of her life. Clive leaned his forehead against her and softly whispered into the small space between them. "I promise, I will do anything for you always, as long as you keep smiling at me like you are right now."
"Anything, my lord? Are you sure?" She asked with a wicked grin. Clive stood up from the floor and gave her a helping hand to stand up as well.
"Of course. I always keep my word." He winked at her.
"Then I’d ask you for a kiss." She asked boldly.
Clive nodded and leaned in, softly pressing his lips against hers. The kiss was warm. Jill reached out her cold hands to tangle them in between his locks. Clive’s hand rested on her cheek, while the other rested softly at the small of her back.
Cold skin met warm skin in a loving embrace.
It felt magical. It was better than anything else she ever imagined. Jill was sure that Clive’s warmth could melt any ice off hers.
They separated after what felt like an eternity. Both were trying to catch their breath as they leaned their foreheads against one another.
"You’d truly do anything for me?" Jill whispered breathlessly.
"Anything." Clive simply assured.
Jill smiled. "And if I’d ask you to never stop kissing me?"
"Then I’d gladly accept this sweetest form torture, my lady." He sealed his vow with another kiss.