Chapter Text
'The world can be a cruel place. There are awful people that exist, and sometimes there’s nothing that can be done about it. This world is the same one that can also hold so much love and light, but just as much darkness that some will have to face. There’s no easy way around the darkness, the only way to get past it is to get through it. It can be all consuming at times, and at others it feels like it’s barely there, but no matter how hard you try, there’s no escaping it. There is a point in time when everyone has to face this darkness called grief. It’s a numbing pain that makes it hard to get out of bed in the morning, but others it’s dull and makes life easier to live, but that doesn't mean that it goes away. It’s a part of life. It’s the darker side to this life that we live, but that doesn't mean that it’s gonna be a walk in the park. Grief is no fun thing, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn't get easier with time.
Time. What a fickle thing that is. It seems like others have more than you, and others less. Time. Such a thing that people wish for more or less of. Such a thing that you can lose, but can never be given. More time with the people that you love. More time for hobbies. More time with friends and family. Just more. Unfortunately it’s something that we have less of every day, and that’s why we have to make the most out of the time that we do have. Life is short. No matter how long we might think we have, it can always be cut short by some unknown force in this world. Life is something to be lived instead of sitting and letting it pass you by. Live your life.'
Scott stared at the paper. The same paper that he wrote and read at his funeral. The pain still felt raw and giant. Like the feeling could consume him in an instance, and it could. It truly could if he let it. As he sat there and thought about all of the things that he’s been through in the past year, it’s hard to remember all of the good, when it felt like there was so much bad. There were so many times when he thought that it should have been him to have died from that accident, but it wasn’t. For some cruel reason the universe wanted to take away the only love that he had ever known, and leave him with nothing. It didn’t make sense in his mind. How could the universe see something so wrong with what they had? It just didn’t make sense. He was his everything. Scott still had that note that he wrote and wore the ring that he was supposed to propose to Scott with. Their life would’ve been perfect. There were so many things that Scott still blamed himself for, even though no matter how many times Kathrine has told him that it wasn’t his fault, he still felt guilty. He truly believed that there was no escaping this feeling of guilt. Like there was something more that he could’ve done to prevent him from leaving this world. There was still so much that he wanted to do, but now. . .
Knocking. Knock knock. There was someone at the door.
“Scott? It’s Kathrine! I know you’re home!” Kathrine yelled through the door. Shaking out of his thoughts, he stood from his desk and opened the door.
“Hey Kathrine.” He managed to say. He didn’t know how long he was sitting there staring at that speech that he wrote oh so long ago, but he didn’t really care. There were still so many things running through his head, that he didn’t even notice.
“Hey. . Um. I brought take out!” Kathrine said and held up the bag of chinese food that she was holding.
“Figured we could eat and maybe watch a movie? Specifically disney. I know you love disney.” Kathrine explained. He silently agreed and let her in. The apartment was neat and he always kept it, it was also brand new. Scott couldn’t stand staying in that house that they bought when he was still alive, so instead Scott moved to a completely different town and rented an apartment. Rent wasn’t bad, but it also wasn’t cheap seeing how it was larger than what he used to have. But he didn’t mind. He liked the space.
Kathrine sat the food down on the coffee table, and went to the kitchen to find some paper plates.
“So how have you been holding up?” Kathrine asked. There were so many ways to answer that question, that he didn’t even know where to begin. Because no matter what he thought of, he was always the center of it.
“Fine.” Scott answered, not wanting to get into the nitty gritty of his feelings right now. But that answer obviously didn’t please Kathrine, because as soon as he said it, she gave him a glare knowing that it was a lie.
“You and me both know that’s a lie.” She said. Scott didn’t know how to respond to that because it was true. Sure on the outside he might appear fine, but the inside was such a mess of things that he didn’t have the energy to sort through and figure it out.
“And so what if it is? You have Shelby. Your soulmate. I don’t. He’s gone, and there’s nothing that I can do about it.” Scott said on the verge of tears. He hated the fact that he’s become so emotional even though it’s almost been a year. Why isn’t he over this already? Why can’t he just be happy?
“Scott. . I-” Kathrine paused. “I hope you know that I’m here for you if you ever need me.” Kathrine said, and just like that the accident and him weren’t mentioned for the rest of the night.