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"Byulyi."
It's been a full twenty minutes since you said good night to each other, her lips on your forehead, limbs entangled in a familiar web.
For you, it's nothing new, because your mind always goes at a hundred miles per hour and it just takes a while for it to quiet down, before you can fall asleep. You're used to it. Byulyi, however, sleeps the sleep of the innocent. What you are used to, when it comes to her, is to hearing her breathing turn heavy, feeling her body mollify as soon as her head touches the pillow, or whatever part of your body she happens to be using as one.
It's been a full twenty minutes, and the subtle stiffness of her muscles is impossible to ignore. Quick, light breaths going in and out of her nostrils tickle your hairline.
"Byulyi, what's wrong?"
She presses her lips harder against your skin, trying to pacify you. It doesn't work. You detach from her, proceeding to study her features in the dimmest of lights from the streetlamp down the road.
She opens her eyes as she rolls over, back on the mattress.
"I'm good, Ddun," she sighs, staring at the ceiling and averting your eyes.
"Byul-ah." A stern note of warning enters your voice. "The sooner you tell me, the sooner I solve the problem and we go to sleep," you say, matter-of-factly.
Byulyi can't help but chuckle at your confidence. She can't see the hint of a smile in your eyes, but you know she knows it's there.
She glances at you, one eyebrow shooting up to the ceiling she was observing so intently a second ago, a smirk appearing on her face.
She outstretches her hand, waiting for you to offer yours. The gesture vaguely reminds you of something in some choreo you must have done with her hundreds of times. You can't quite place it right now, but your muscle memory kicks in, and your palm covers hers.
You're pretty sure what she does next isn't in any of your choreographies, though. Byulyi guides your joined hands on her tummy, sliding them lower and under the waistband of her sleep shorts.
"Fuck, Byul-ah." You mutter under your breath when your fingers slip through her folds and you realize how drenched she is. You clear your throat. "That's a problem I can solve."
Byulyi's eyes go back. "Go on, then," she whispers. "Solve it." Her voice is higher, already reaching the exact frequency you've learned to associate with her desperation.
You tune in, and it's a quick affair.
One minute of hot kisses on that magic spot behind her ear. Two minutes of tenderly massaging her, her clit pliant and wet under your fingers, like a small lump of lovely, fragrant clay to mold to your wishes, and Byulyi is done for.
Eyes shut, she's panting in your ear, droplets of sweat all over her hairline. You kiss them off.
Three minutes - "are you gonna come for me already, Byul-ah?", you tease, and that immediately wrecks her all over your hand.
You enjoy the show playing out on her face, as you always do. Your room is quite dark, but you know her so well you don't need to see all the details to know they are there.
You kiss the muscles on the side of her nose as they contract, admire the perfect circle of her lips as she breathes out her pleasure.
Yet, even after all this time, she can still surprise you sometimes - she grabs your wrist forcefully, and you're not quite sure what she's doing, because she pushes and then pulls on it at least three times, and maybe she's not even fully aware of what she wants herself, as her orgasm keeps washing through her.
"We can keep going," you reassure her, as Byulyi pushes your wrist toward her entrance for the fourth time, before immediately changing her mind and pulling your hand out of her pants. "We can keep going if you want to."
"'m good," she croaks out, mouth dry and eyes glazed over. "Good," she repeats, grounding herself, struggling to sound a bit more coherent. "We should sleep, Ddun."
"Mmh," you raise an eyebrow at her. She hides her face behind the crook of her elbow, avoiding your eyes.
She yawns.
You can tell she's faking it.
You don't yawn back, concentrating on freeing yourself from her grip on your wrist instead.
"You don't want to keep going?", you ask her, a hint of devilish curiosity pervading your voice.
"I'm good," she just repeats, almost sadly, and your curiosity is satisfied. You know what to do now.
You sit on your heels, reaching beyond Byulyi to open the drawer of her nightstand. You skilfully make sure your chest is positioned right above her face as you take the rabbit toy out and close the drawer.
You sneak a glance down. She's peeking.
You'd tease her more about it if this was any earlier, and if you didn't have to be up again in just a few hours.
But you do have to - you both do, so you go straight to the point.
"I know you need more." She sighs at your words. "Let me take care of you again."
With a simple touch of your hand, her knees bend, and there she is, in the dark, ready for you.
You caress her thighs, coaxing her to spread them out a little more. When you're satisfied, you turn the rabbit on at the lowest setting, and start rubbing it on her folds, slowly but surely, to slick it up.
She's holding her breath, trembling under your ministrations, the excitement coming off of her in waves so strong you can almost smell it in her sweat.
"Breathe, love."
"Yong," she whines, rolling her hips, seeking out more contact, more vibrations.
"Relax for me," you say sweetly.
Byulyi throws you a desperate look, canting her hips up with desperate urgency. "Inside," she cries out. "Inside, Yong."
"Shhh," you exhale. "Patience."
But patience is a virtue Byulyi never really possessed, and you can't say you are totally surprised when she scrunches her nose, groans in frustration, and covers your hand with hers.
"Want to -" she moans, forcing your hand to slip the vibrator inside, pushing it as far as she can in one go. "It's late. Wanna come."
You listen as Byulyi pushes the small white button once, twice, four, six times, until she maxes the rabbit out.
"Ah, fuck, fuck," she groans again, fucking the shaft with abandon as the two bunny ears drag on either side of her clit. Your hand is completely useless now under hers, overpowered by the sheer force of Byulyi's want, and yet you keep it there, enjoying the intimacy of still being part of the action, even as she takes charge of her own pleasure, not caring if your fingers get crushed under Byulyi's as she slams the vibrator inside herself and cries out.
You feel heat flushing your chest, and there's nothing you can do but watch her, your eyes intrigued and amused and full of love and a hint of worry that she's going at it so hard, without any sort of gradual build-up, that she's going to lose sensitivity.
With your free hand, you brush her hair off her sweaty forehead. "You're so beautiful," you murmur, but Byulyi needs more than platitudes right now, and meets your eyes with a pleading look.
"Yong." Your name comes out strangled, and you hear the urgent, unspoken words in her voice. Help me.
You snap out of your trance. "Baby, slow down." You try and contrast Byulyi's movements, trying to keep the rabbit still - but Byulyi is too far gone, crying out in frustration as she pushes the silicone even more firmly against her skin, trying to will her orgasm into immediate existence.
"Taking too long," she lets the words out through her teeth. "I'm sorry."
You change tactics, your free hand slipping under and up Byulyi's tank top now as you shake your head. "I could watch you all night," you whisper, before you realize how wrong that came out. "I mean. I don't mean I want to watch you struggle all night. I don't take pleasure in that. You know what I mean. Take your time. I love you. You're so hot."
Even through all her tension, she snickers at you. Hoping she'll either forget, or forgive your awkwardness, you massage her breast for a few seconds before your thumb finds her nipple.
That sends Byulyi further down into her frenzied rabbit hole, and now the hair on her nape is drenched in sweat, and her face is contorted right on the edge between suffering and pleasure.
"Faster," she strains. You oblige, each quick pass of your thumb on her nipple making her cry out, again and again. "Faster!" she repeats, raising her voice above the loud vibrations from the toy she is humping so messily, but you can't go any faster than this, and Byulyi cries out again in unsatisfactory pleasure, once, twice, three more times, until, with a sudden jerk of her hand, she yanks the toy out of herself and throws it on the sheets, burying her face in your chest with a loud groan of frustration.
"Oh, babygirl." You only take two seconds to quickly massage your poor abused wrist before you blindly reach for the rabbit and turn it off, a generous amount of Byulyi's juices getting on your fingers in the process.
You suck them off casually until your hand is clean enough to cradle Byulyi's head.
"Let's just sleep," Byulyi's voice is rough and muffled against your skin. "We can't even sleep in tomorrow."
"Mmh," you whisper, planting small kisses on her forehead. Your hands go back to her chest, this time only offering light caresses to the sides of her breasts.
"Yong," she looks down at your hands, then at you. "It's fine. I promise. Let's just go to sleep."
"You can sleep," you respond, reasonably. "I'm giving you sleepy cuddles."
"I'm too horny for sleepy cuddles," she pouts.
"Fine. Horny cuddles, then."
"Leave it, Ddun. I'm not going to be able to, you know."
You don't stop touching her, not even for a second, as you look straight into her eyes. Your thumb strays closer to her nipple once again. Byulyi bites down on her lower lip.
"You'd only enjoy me touching you like this if you get to come in the end?", you ask, faking innocence.
Byulyi shakes her head, her back arching slowly to lean into your touch.
"Doesn't this feel good either way?"
A nod, interrupted by the sound of air being sucked in when your thumb finds her nipple again, playing with its edges through Byulyi's tank top, nonchalantly encouraging it to grow under your touch.
"You're not a burden. You're horny, you get horny cuddles. Even if we don't solve anything. Okay?"
Another nod, eyes fluttering shut once again.
"I love you. Relax."
And Byulyi does, melting into your touch, the sweat slowly cooling off on her skin. Her lips trace your jawline, at the same excruciatingly slow speed of your hands on her breasts, on her tummy, on her sides.
She tries to raise one leg over yours at some point, and you can tell the gesture is almost automatic, because you've cuddled in this position many times over the years, and most often, her center ends up leaving a wet spot on your thigh. Not this time, though - you still her with a gentle touch. "Relax," you repeat. "Let her rest."
She chuckles, stifling a yawn, and humors you, hands still but firm on your hips, just enjoying your touches on her torso and the scent of your skin.
You don't know how long it's been, but you sense that she's let her guard down, that her breathing is somewhat ragged but regular, that she doesn't expect you to do anything else right now.
So, you act.
Byulyi whines in protest when you detach yourself from her, her breath catching in her throat when she realizes where it is that you're going.
"Ddun, you don't have to - come back here."
"I want to," you say calmly, lowering yourself on your elbows in front of her.
"But it's so late already, and what if I don't -"
"Horny cuddles, remember?", you ask, without looking at her, concentrating on gently opening up her folds with your fingers instead.
You finally sneak a glance up at her, and her eyes are unconvinced, yet flickering with desire and anticipation.
"Do you want me to?", you ask, keeping your tone as neutral as you can. Your finger grazes her outer lips, as gently as it would a flower.
Something in between a sigh and a whimper escapes Byulyi's lips. She nods in surrender, hips quivering.
"I'll come back up if I get tired, or if you do. Promise," you conclude, and you finally let your face disappear between her legs.
You don't dive in, though - you've never done this as leisurely as you are right now, the strokes of your tongue so light and casual that you manage to convince even yourself that this is not going anywhere, that maybe your true intent isn't even horny cuddling, but just to help Byulyi go to sleep, with your mouth keeping her warm.
If that's the truth, though, it's not working at all - because Byulyi looks very far from sleep right now, stifling little moans against her own forearm, trying and failing to suppress the urge to thrust herself against your lips.
You place a firm hand on her hip, holding her down. "Stay still for unnie, Byul-ah." Your remark is casual, but Byulyi's reaction almost makes your composure slip, because she becomes a blabbering mess as soon as she hears the words, whispering heaven knows what into her own arm.
You will give credit where credit is due, though - she stops moving her hips. "Let me hear you instead," you whisper against her center. "Tell me what you want."
Byulyi stays still and silent - but you know it's just a matter of time, so you give her time. Instead, you work on cleaning the juices off of her pussy with gentle, light strokes of your tongue. Your work is thankless, and potentially neverending, because she's rewarding you with fresh gushes at a rate you can't keep up with, not if you don't want to increase your speed.
With the corner of your eye, you watch Byulyi's knuckles become lighter as she grabs fistfuls of sheets. You cover her hands with yours, just for a moment, before resuming your caressing on her tummy, and her sides, and her hips.
She feels delirious, like she's going to explode, as still as she can and quiet and shaking under your touch, and even without looking at her you can tell that she's sweating buckets all over again, that you'll find the sheets under her back as drenched as the sheets under her pussy.
It goes to your head - you test out some firm pressure of your lips on her abused clit, and it works like a charm. Your eyes meet, and the words finally escape the lock of Byulyi's lips.
"Yongsun - oh - your tongue - please, your tongue."
You rub your hands on her hips as you flick her tongue on her clit, encouraging and restraining at the same time.
"Wanna fuck your mouth," Byulyi mumbles, raising herself up on her elbows to watch you through half-lidded eyes. "You're so - ah. Fuck. Ah - Yong."
You tilt your head, stopping your work for a second. "I'm so what?"
"So good," Byulyi cries out without thinking twice. "You're so good to me."
You smile. There's so much you want to say to that, but it's too late for big speeches, and Byulyi is too close to process anything like that right now, so you just grab the rabbit from somewhere on your bed, push the button a couple of times, and place it right below your chin, resting the tip right against Byulyi's entrance as you start going down on her again, going straight for her clit with unmistakeable intent this time.
Byulyi barely has the presence of mind to rest her hand on your head before she starts letting out innumerable moans, and if she's tugging on your hair a little bit, you couldn't care less.
"Oh, oh, oh - Yong - gonna cum all over your, I - oh -" and before she's even done saying it, she does.
Byulyi's orgasm is measured at first, but it drags out. You moan throughout it, your voice vibrating on her lips and clit as your hands encourage her to finally let herself go, to ride it out as she trashes and thrusts against you.
She crashes back on the mattress with a moan, immediately making grabby hands at you.
You leave your post between her legs with a final kiss to her still engorged clit. You end up licking your lips in Byulyi's shaky arms.
"You taste delicious," you say simply. You let her hug you like a teddy bear. She looks spent, already half drooling on your t-shirt. You brush a strand of sweaty hair from her forehead.
"Come on," you escape her hold, tugging on her hand as you sit up and get up. You're expecting protests, but Byulyi simply follows you, meek and compliant, a little unsteady on her feet.
You wash the toy under running water, then proceed to make Byulyi laugh by pretending to brush your teeth with the bunny ears.
"I thought I tasted delicious?", she asks from the toilet seat as you apply toothpaste to your real toothbrush.
"You do, but if I keep tasting you in my mouth then I'm going to be the one who's so horny she can't sleep," you answer as best as you can, mouth full of toothpaste.
You can't pretend not to notice Byulyi's violent blush, or the way she suddenly has trouble shifting her gaze from the floor tiles as she gets up to flush.
"That was selfish, I didn't even - let me do you, Ddun. I'm sorry."
You spit out in the sink and rinse your mouth, even though your girl crush dentist said you're not supposed to.
You raise your head again, and Byulyi is behind you, all over you, hugging your torso, kissing your shoulder blades. You stop her just in time as her hands threaten to travel to your breasts.
"Hey." Her eyes meet yours in the bathroom mirror. You keep her hands still, locking your fingers together. She holds on tight. "I like to take care of you, remember? You do the same for me, when I need it."
You lean back against her. She sighs. "Yeah, but it's not like you get randomly horny at 1AM and steal an hour of sleep from me all that often."
"Doesn't mean you're the weird one, Byulyi," you reply without missing a beat. "You're not a burden to me."
You let your words sink in.
A few seconds later, you say it again as you take a damp towel from her hands. You dab it on her pussy, to clean her up as best as you can.
When you go back to bed, you say it one more time. You wonder how many times you've said it since you got together, or even before - since your trainee days. You wonder how many more times you'll say it again before it becomes unnecessary.
You cuddle her to sleep. Or at least, try to.
Ten minutes later, your Byulyi still isn't sleeping. The subtle stiffness of her muscles is impossible to ignore. Quick, light breaths going in and out of her nostrils tickle your neck.
"Spit it out, Byul-ah."
This time, she puts up no fight. "Do you still want me?", she asks in a small voice.
You sigh. "Are you asking this because I'm trying to sleep instead of letting you get me off right now?"
Byulyi nods, not letting the vague note of irritation in your voice deter her. "Once upon a time, you wouldn't have resisted. You wouldn't have been able to keep your hands off me."
"Just in case you didn't notice, I didn't, and I wasn't. I couldn't leave you alone even when you wanted to stop."
"That's different - you know what I mean."
You brush a strand of hair behind her ear. "Baby, do you not want me? Because you took a long time to come, and wanted to stop because you thought you just weren't going to? Do I just not do it for you anymore?", you pout, a light layer of aegyo coating your words to achieve the effect you want to achieve.
Even in the dark, you can see the indignation in Byulyi's eyes. "What? No! Yong, no. I was just tired and overwhelmed and I think I was using the rabbit wrong because it got me all numb and I -" She gives up on trying to explain, covering your neck with warm, open-mouthed kisses instead. "I want you so much I can't stand it sometimes," she murmurs on your skin.
"Same here," you say slowly, enjoying the contact. "Maybe I'd rather sleep with you than have sex with you on a work night because I'm ancient and tired now, but just you wait until it's our day off and I'll make you eat your words. I'll schedule some serious random horniness, you won't know what hit you." You yawn in her hair.
Byulyi laughs at you. "You're so weird." She comes to collect a lazy kiss. "Thank you for taking care of me and my sex drive."
"You're both welcome," you whisper, sleep starting to strain your voice. "Do you need more? You can tell me if you do."
She laughs at you again. "You're not that good - you can't make me come in your sleep quite yet. I'll wait for the scheduled horniness, see if you really blow my socks off like you claim you will".
"Is that a challenge?", you yawn again, not looking challenged in the slightest.
"Yup," her eyes shine. "You're all bark and no bite."
"Gonna stick a sock in your mouth and bite your ass real hard if you don't stop disrespecting your elders." You turn around in her arms, your back relaxing into her chest.
"Hot." She kisses your hair, nuzzling her nose into it.
"Shut up, Byulyi."
She inhales, nose still in your hair. When she exhales, you feel her hot breath on your nape.
Her breathing slows down, and soon enough, she's asleep.
Not every problem can be solved, but not everything is a problem. Not as long as you're with her.
Life isn't perfect, but it comes damn close.