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Izzy wakes to the sound of arguing, which is more often than not the case these days. Ever since Stede came back and Edward insisted on the ridiculous charade of co-captains, that is.
The yelling is still ongoing as Izzy finally makes his way to the deck to see what’s going on and if it can be easily solved or if he’s going to end up with a headache before noon.
“Nah, mate, see, that doesn’t count at all! You’re not following the rules!”
“What difference can it possibly make, Edward? I’m putting it in the basket either way!”
Izzy sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. So it seems like the headache will likely be here before first watch, then.
“It matters because — hey! Here’s Izzy!” Edward’s voice booms loudly. Izzy grimaces in his direction. “You love rules, explain to Stede here why he needs to follow them!”
“What rules are you talking about, boss?” Izzy questions, glancing over at Stede, who is holding what appears to be a large rubber ball, and then back at Edward who is clutching one of Roach’s baskets, suspiciously empty of provisions.
Edward grins wide and Izzy fights the urge to roll his eyes. “Aw, you’re gonna love this, Iz. Jack taught me it last time we were ashore. So what you do is —“
“Oh, well if Jack taught it to you, then of course it makes perfect sense,” Stede cuts in huffily, looking as though he wants to cross his arms, but can’t quite figure it out without dropping the ball.
“Shut it, Bonnet,” Izzy snaps. Then, seeing the way Stede looks at him, aghast, he softens just a little. “I can’t settle your stupid argument if I don’t know the rules in the first place.”
Stede grumbles but nods and gestures at Ed to finish the explanation. “Right, so. You have to throw the ball, that one Stede has, into the basket, that’s how you get a point. You can’t just walk over and plunk it in, that’s too easy. It wouldn’t be a game that way.” Izzy nods. Despite being passed from Jack to Ed and now to him, it does seem to make sense. “Also,” Ed continues. “You have to bounce it. Like this.” He holds out his hands in Stede’s direction and makes a grabbing motion. Stede sighs loudly but gently tosses the ball over. Ed catches it and throws it down in the direction of the deck. It bounces back into Ed’s downturned palm and he makes a slapping motion, causing the ball to complete another bounce. He continues the action, quirking an eyebrow up at Izzy. “Pretty cool, huh?”
Personally, Izzy thinks the whole thing is a bit dumb. And definitely a waste of time. Especially when he can tell, just with a quick glance around the deck, that no one has started on the day’s agenda yet. But he can’t very well say that to Edward. Not right now, at least. Izzy has been walking on eggshells, lest the Kraken make another appearance. So he quietly sighs, grits his teeth, and says, “Looks like fun, boss.”
Ed smiles wide, eyes sparkling. And Izzy feels his heart soften further. What is becoming of him?
“Give it back now, Edward,” Stede says. “It was my turn, I believe.” Ed is still bouncing the ball, the steady thwack, thwack, thwack of it on the deck slowly but surely causing Izzy’s temples to throb. He makes no move to throw it back to Stede. “Edward,” Stede tries again, voice slightly more whiny than before. “Give it here.”
Ed’s grin turns predatory, teeth as sharp as a shark. “Come and get it.” He issues the challenge with a wink before turning and continuing to bounce the ball farther down the deck. Izzy watches him go, not sure whether he should follow or use this as his moment to make an escape.
“Well, come on then,” Stede says briskly, clapping his hands together. “Let’s go after him.” Before Izzy can open his mouth to protest that no, he won’t be going after Edward to remind him how to be a captain, yet again, Stede stalks past him and after Edward, not even bothering to see if Izzy is following. Simply assuming that he will. And Izzy, damn him to hell, does.
By the time they catch up to Edward, he’s bounced the ball clear to the other end of the ship and is pestering Frenchie to empty another of Roach’s baskets. “C’mon, mate,” he wheedles. “Just put the, the food and shit in a pile.”
Frenchie raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, I like my hands where they are, thanks,” he says. “I’m not messing with none of Roach’s stuff.”
“He’s not gonna fucking touch your fucking hands,” Ed hisses, clearly becoming frustrated upon seeing Izzy and Stede approaching. “Just, c’mon, help a guy out.”
Frenchie glances over and sees Izzy and Stede. “Oh, good,” he says, starting to sidle away. “He’s your problem, then.” And before Izzy can bark at him to get to work, or at least to speak with a little more deference, he’s gone. Useless prick, Izzy thinks, grimacing.
“Now Edward,” Stede says. “Are we going to play a civilized game? Or are you going to continue to be a child?”
Edward barks out a laugh. “A civilized game?” he asks incredulously. “Now where would be the fun in that? No, I believe I told you to come and get the ball. So, come and get it.” The last words are punctuated with aggressive bounces of the ball, still firmly in Ed’s grasp.
Stede sighs and looks over at Izzy. For some reason as soon as their eyes meet Izzy has to fight the urge to break into laughter. Stede’s lips twitch. Knowing Stede feels the same has Izzy biting his tongue hard enough to taste blood in order to keep the laughter in. “Well,” Stede says, sounding resigned. “Shall we?”
Izzy blinks at Stede, stone-faced, trying to navigate the words he wants out of his mouth without cracking the vault of his laughter. Stede’s eyes dim as the moment stretches and he turns to go over to Edward on his own.
“Wait,” Izzy calls out, finally finding his voice. “I have a better idea.” He clears his throat and pitches his voice loud enough to carry. “Edward, I have an idea.”
Ed looks wary but bounces over with the ball, close enough to hear, but not close enough for Stede to get the ball with any sort of ease. “What is it, mate?” he asks.
“How about a wager?” Izzy offers. “Some sort of prize. If Bonnet manages to get the ball.”
“Or if I manage to keep it from him?” Ed counters.
“Yes, yes, of course,” Izzy says, glad that Ed seems to be warming to the idea. Maybe he can solve whatever these two idiots are fighting over and get the rest of the crew to work before second watch.
“I’m game,” Stede says immediately, eyes focused on Edward and the ball bouncing maddeningly from his hands to the deck and back again.
“Hmmmm,” Ed hums as he bounces. “It would have to be a rather grand prize, wouldn’t it, Iz? After all, it’s my game.”
“I thought it was Jack’s game,” Stede points out primly.
“What did you have in mind, Edward?” Izzy cuts in before that argument can start. He doesn’t feel like rehashing Jack Rackham’s role in their lives. Again.
Ed catches the ball after its next bounce, cradling it to his chest as he brings a hand up to tap his chin thoughtfully. It’s an act. Izzy knows it. Edward already knows what the prize will be. And as soon as Ed looks over and slowly drags his gaze over Izzy’s body - head to toe - Izzy realizes that he already knows as well.
“Winner gets first dibs,” Ed says simply, tongue darting out to wet his lips. Izzy swallows.
“First dibs on what, exactly?” demands Stede, glancing between the two of them.
Ed’s smile is toothy and dangerous. “First dibs on the first mate,” Ed explains, tone almost sing-songy as he stalks closer to where Izzy and Stede are standing. Izzy can hear Stede blustering some nonsense to his left, but his eyes are focused on Edward stepping closer and closer to him until they’re toe-to-toe. “First dibs on a first-rate cunt,” he whispers. Izzy feels his cheeks heat as the rest of the blood rushes south, his dick throbbing though no one has touched him. Yet.
“What do you say, Stede? Still game?” Edward asks, eyes never leaving Izzy’s. Izzy gives an imperceptible nod and watches as Ed’s expression turns satisfied.
“Izzy?” Stede questions, voice sounding as strangled as Izzy feels. “Are-are you quite sure about this?” Ed tilts his head, indicating Izzy should answer the question.
Izzy turns to face Stede, who is blushing almost worse than Izzy and fiddling with the cuffs of his coat. “I’m sure,” he says, proud of the way his voice doesn’t falter. Ed and Izzy were a tale older than time, together more often than not and connected in a way that allowed them to anticipate the other in both word and action. Bringing Stede into that equation changed everything. Izzy couldn’t quite say if it was for better or for worse yet. But what was the saying? A little practice never hurt anyone? If Edward wanted this ridiculous blond man to participate in their intricate rituals, well, Izzy wasn’t one to deny his captain anything.
“Let’s get on with it,” Izzy says, finally breaking Stede’s gaze. “I’ll keep score.”
After a moment or two of bickering over what the winning score should be and a fair bit of squabbling over where Roach’s provisions should be placed, Ed and Stede finally start the game.
It’s not a very exciting game, all things considered. As he watches, Izzy feels the desire Edward had sparked with his words cooling.
“And that’s another point for me,” Ed crows triumphantly as the ball ricochets into the basket. “What’s that now? Three?”
“Yes, boss,” Izzy says.
“To be, ah, entirely accurate,” Stede pants, leaning over to put his hands on his knees. “That’s only one point ahead of me.” He’s red-faced and sweating, drops of it beading at his hairline. Izzy considers him, the way the sunlight glints off his stupid blond hair, turning it from gold all the way to a darkened bronze where it’s damp at his temples. The curls around his ears twist in a manner Izzy almost wants to call endearing. Almost. Then, as if the universe can sense him starting to lose himself, one of those beads of sweat slides free and drops right down the tip of Stede’s nose. Izzy blinks, returns to himself, and scowls. Fucking Bonnet.
“Alright there, Iz?” Ed calls over, doing an odd little backwards jog in his attempt to keep the ball out of Stede’s grasp.
“I’m fine,” Izzy mutters. “Neither of you are at six yet.”
“‘Yet’ being the key word,” Stede calls out in a voice that’s far too pompous for someone that sweaty. He makes a grab for the ball, but at the last second Ed spins with it and Stede is left grasping at air.
“Might as well give it up now, mate,” Ed says, bouncing the ball closer to the side of the ship. “Face it. You’ll never catch up.”
Stede frowns and wipes a sleeve over his eyes. “I assure you, I haven’t ever backed down from a challenge, and I don’t intend to start now.”
Rolling his eyes, Izzy shifts to lean more comfortably against the rigging. “I doubt that’s true,” he mutters, mostly to himself.
Apparently Stede hears the comment because a determined look crosses his face and he lunges forward with more agility than Izzy thought he possessed. In between one blink and the next, Stede snatches the ball and tosses it, rather desperately, in the direction of the basket.
Ed squawks in protest, but the ball does, in fact, land solidly in its intended target. He looks over at Izzy, mouth agape. Izzy lifts one shoulder coolly. “Now you’re tied.”
The game continues on. The sun passes its highest point in the sky, and Izzy has given up most of his sense of decorum to sit on the deck, keeping one eye on Stede and Ed and the other looking out for any approaching crew members lest they catch him in a moment of weakness.
“Izzy,” Stede’s voice calls out rather grumpily. “What’s — oof, really Edward, that was uncalled for — what’s the rule on elbowing?”
“Knowing Jack,” Izzy calls back, keeping his eyes trained on the clouds gathering on the horizon. “Elbowing probably earns you extra points.”
Ed chuckles. “Am I in the lead then now, Iz?” He asks gleefully.
“No,” Izzy answers simply. “It’s still a tie.”
“Aha!” Stede crows. “And now I’ll be taking that, thank you very much.”
From Edward’s shout of indignation, Izzy can tell that Stede has once again successfully stolen the ball. Hmmm, maybe Bonnet wasn’t as useless as Izzy once thought. It wouldn’t do to give him too much credit. But certainly a little couldn’t hurt.
A sudden splash jolts Izzy to standing. “What was that?” he barks, gaze scanning the deck.
Stede looks chagrined, a blush slowly staining his face. Ed looks torn between glee and horror.
“Ah,” Stede starts. He clears his throat and tries again. “Ah. That would be the, ah, ball,” he admits.
Ed’s expression finally settles into a frown. “Well what are we bloody supposed to do now?” he demands. “We were still tied!”
Stede shrugs helplessly. “We could paper-scissors-rock?” he suggests. Upon seeing Ed’s look of disgust, he backtracks. “Or not!” Stede glances over at Izzy. “Do you have any suggestions?”
Izzy looks at both Ed and Stede, considering. He could just claim a tie was a tie and end things here and now. The day isn't over yet and surely some amount of work could still be accomplished. And yet….
“Meet me in the captains' quarters. Fifteen minutes. Both of you,” he says. Then he turns and retreats below decks.
Izzy is methodical in his preparations. Always has been, ever since the first time he left Edward in charge of these things and had to deal with those consequences. Izzy suppresses a shudder at the memories. By the time the fifteen minutes have passed and a knock sounds at the door, everything is in place. “Come in,” Izzy calls, before moving to stand just out of the line of sight of the entryway.
“Really, Edward,” Stede is saying as he and Ed walk in. “I don’t think I should be here.”
“Nonsense, mate,” Ed says, clapping Stede on the shoulder. “I can assure you that you’re very much wanted here.”
“Really, Edward, I wouldn’t go that far,” Izzy cuts in, stepping out of the shadows and ignoring the way Stede gasps. “I’d go with ‘tolerated’ at best.” Ed laughs delightedly while Stede continues to look confused. Good. Izzy smirks, then gestures to the chest of drawers set at the end of the bed. “Everything’s ready, boss.”
Ed’s grin turns devilish as he stalks over to survey Izzy’s work. While Ed is distracted, Stede pipes up again. “I, ah, really think I should be going,” he stammers out.
“Oh, shut it, Bonnet,” Izzy says, but his tone is devoid of any of his usual bite. “You might not’ve won the game, but a tie isn’t a loss. And I always honor my agreements.” During this little speech, Izzy had been stepping closer and closer to Stede. By the time he’s done talking they’re standing toe-to-toe. Stede is gaping at Izzy like a fish out of water. Izzy wants to kiss the stupid look off his face. So he does.
Behind them, Ed tuts. “Does he really get to go first, Iz?” He whines.
Izzy breaks away from the kiss and turns to face Ed without reading the expression on Stede’s face. He’s sure it’s still just as stupid as it was before the kiss. Perhaps worse. “It’s only fair, boss,” Izzy says. “He scored the last point.”
“And he also lost the ball!” Ed points out petulantly.
Izzy sighs and walks over to stand next to Ed and the chest. He’s had plenty of practice with Ed’s mercurial moods and wants in situations like these. “Why don’t you pick which one he uses then, hmm?”
While Ed surveys his choices, Izzy looks back over at Stede. Sure enough, the same stunned expression is still on his face. “Well, get on with it, Bonnet, I don’t have all day.” Izzy snaps his fingers in front of Stede, who blinks.
“Er, get on with what?” he asks. Izzy rolls his eyes, moving to stand on the side of the bed and methodically beginning to remove his clothing.
“With the fuckery,” Ed chimes in, chuckling at his own joke as he begins to shimmy out of his pants. He tosses an object to Izzy, who deftly catches it, lips quirking up in a half smile.
“Really, Edward?” Izzy asks. Ed just laughs in response, kicking his pants to the side and clambering on the bed. Izzy, now fully nude, joins him. They both look expectantly over at Stede.
“Right!” Stede says, perhaps a touch too brightly. “I’ll just, ah, yes. Let me….” Izzy bites his tongue, but he can’t decide if it’s to keep in laughter or a cutting remark. Really, it remains a mystery what Edward sees in this man.
Stede, now pantsless and sporting a semi, tiptoes over to the bed and perches gingerly on the edge. He opens his mouth to say something, but Ed uses the opportunity to crawl over and kiss him. When they break apart, Stede is fully hard and no longer looks on the verge of saying something that will make Izzy call this whole thing off.
“Now come over here and give our first mate a proper seeing to,” Ed murmurs. “I promised you a first-rate cunt, didn’t I?”
Stede gulps and nods, then looks over at Izzy, who smiles toothily. “See for yourself, Bonnet,” he says, the challenge clear in his tone. He holds up a hand, fingers glinting wetly in the low light of the cabin, evidence of the way Izzy had been touching himself. Aroused at both the way Ed had been working over this stupid blond man and the fact that Izzy had to admit, rather begrudgingly, that said stupid blond man had a rather impressive cock.
Smiling hesitantly, Stede moves up the bed towards Izzy. When he’s still about an arms length away, he stops. “It’s just — are you really quite sure that —“
“For fuck's sake,” Izzy growls, grabbing a fistful of Stede’s unbuttoned shirt and hauling him forward the last few inches. Stede tumbles forward with an “oof” that Izzy quickly swallows with a searing kiss. With his other hand, Izzy gropes around until his fingers find Stede’s and then, slowly, so as not to spook him, Izzy guides Stede’s hand down to his cunt. Stede makes a muffled squeak into the kiss as he realizes what’s happening. For a moment, Stede leaves his hand where it is, and Izzy doesn’t push. But he is a man for whom patience is definitely not a virtue, and as the kiss stretches between them, he twitches his hips up impatiently.
Stede pulls back, a new focus now sharpening his gaze into something Izzy might be tempted to call attractive. “Let me know if anything feels uncomfortable,” Stede says, fingers beginning a slow exploration through the curls of Izzy’s pubic hair. Izzy nods, curious to see what Stede has planned. Ed is silent, watching, a hand simply resting on his hard dick, not stroking. He appears fascinated by the tableau before him. Stede glances over his shoulder at him, a brief look of insecurity marring his features. “I was married,” he offers. “I used to— never mind,” he cuts himself off. “Let me just. Yes. I’ll….”
Izzy rolls his eyes, once again thanking the universe for reminding him that yes, in fact, Stede is an idiot. But perhaps an idiot who can get Izzy off before dinner.
“I’ve gotten a whole hand in him before,” Ed offers. “Wasn’t even that hard. Reckon you could start out with two fingers.”
Stede looks like he wants to address Ed’s first comment but apparently thinks better of it and redirects his focus back down to where his fingers are gently tracing the edges of Izzy’s hole.
“He’s right,” Izzy rumbles. “Couldn’t sit down for near on a week.” He cuts himself off with a sigh at the memory, feeling himself clench around nothing, and the sigh turns to a groan. “Edward, I swear to God I’m going to kick him out if he doesn’t get a move on.”
Ed lets out a delighted laugh, then shuffles on his knees closer to Stede and Izzy. “You heard the man,” Ed says. “Get in there, mate.”
Stede huffs indignantly. “I’m just trying to make sure I don’t hurt him.”
“I told you. Two fingers,” Ed says. “Like this.” And now he’s leaning over Stede’s shoulder to reach a hand over, joining Stede’s where it’s still hesitating over Izzy’s cunt. Ed grabs Stede’s hand and pushes his index and middle fingers together before guiding them right up to Izzy’s hole. “Now just give a little push,” Ed mutters, pressing Stede’s fingers in and Izzy lets out a sigh turned moan of relief.
“You were right,” Stede mutters, a note of wonder in his voice.
“I’m always right,” Ed quips. “Now crook them up just like this,” he continues, modeling the motion with his free hand. Stede copies it with the fingers inside Izzy, coaxing another moan from him.
Ed leans back, his own hand returning to his leaking dick. “You’ve got it now,” he says. “I wouldn’t recommend going for the whole hand at the moment. Don’t reckon we’ve got enough time before someone comes looking for one of us. But feel free to stretch him as much as you want.”
“Izzy?” Stede questions, turning to him. “Does that sound alright to you?”
“Fuck, yes, just,” Izzy groans as Stede slowly slides his fingers out and back in. “Add another one already.”
“If you’re sure,” Stede says, slipping his ring finger in alongside the other two.
The stretch starts to burn now and Izzy welcomes the sensation. Stede sets a steady pace with his fingers, crooking them in the way Ed showed him in a random enough pattern that leaves Izzy clenching around him.
Minutes tick by and Izzy becomes accustomed to the feel of three fingers. He opens his mouth to tell Stede to add a fourth when he remembers the object Ed had tossed his way at the beginning.
“Where’s the wheel?” he asks. When Ed doesn’t answer right away, Izzy looks over to see him studying Stede, tongue poking out in concentration as he times strokes to his dick with the thrusts of Stede’s fingers. “Edward!” Izzy snaps. Ed startles, freezing in place.
“Yeah, Iz?” He asks. “Oh, the thingy. Yeah, here it is,” he says, rumpling the sheets until he finds the small metal object. “Oh, you’re gonna fuckin’ love this, Stede.”
Stede glances over curiously at Ed at the same time as he slips his pinky finger inside Izzy, who groans.
Ed chuckles. “I’ll explain it then,” he says, positioning himself the same way he had before, draped over Stede’s back. This time he guides Stede’s free hand over to the wide expanse of Izzy’s thigh. “Hold his leg bent, just like that, yeah,” Ed instructs. Then he takes the tool - a slim metal handle with a wheel at one end, star-shaped and similar to the spur one would wear when riding a horse - and draws it over Izzy’s thigh from knee to hip. The sharp edges of the wheel dig into skin and leave tiny pinpricks of blood behind. Izzy whines high in his throat as Ed lifts the wheel up and makes another pass next to the first.
Stede gasps and his fingers still inside Izzy. “Edward!” He exclaims.
“What?” Ed asks. “D’you want a turn now? Sorry, it’s just so fun to mark him up like this.”
“No I don’t want a turn!” Stede says, aghast. “You’re hurting him!”
“Look at him,” Ed says, adding a third and fourth line of tiny red spots to Izzy’s thigh. “He fucking loves it. Fucking pain slut.” He chuckles affectionately. “Huh, Iz? Tell him you love it.”
Izzy blinks away some of the haze. “Hurting me is the fucking point, Bonnet,” he says hoarsely. “That a problem for you?”
Stede hesitates and Ed uses that as an opportunity to move the wheel to Izzy’s stomach, drawing a new line of blood under his belly button. The spots start to drip immediately, blood running down in small rivulets. Stede watches, expression turning hungry. “No, no I guess it isn’t,” he murmurs. “Hand it over, Ed,” he says next, holding out his free hand and letting Izzy’s leg drop back to the bed.
Ed grins and hands over the tool before moving to sit back on his heels. “Go on then,” he says. “Wanna see you make him come.”
Stede looks down at Izzy, then back at the tool in his hand. Izzy opens his mouth to tell him to stop being such a pussy when Stede suddenly removes all four fingers from Izzy’s cunt before shoving them roughly back inside at the same time as he drags the wheel over the shape of Izzy’s left ribs.
Izzy shouts, sensation overwhelming him. To his left he can vaguely hear Ed laughing, but the sound is muffled under the roaring in his ears.
“Gorgeous,” Stede mutters, repeating the same set of actions as before. Izzy shudders as he feels the bite of steel against the thin skin over his ribs. It feels delicious. He clenched around Stede’s fingers and the fullness makes him moan. Everything is just this side of too much. It’s almost enough. He just needs….
“Stede,” Izzy calls out in a strangled voice. Stede makes a third pass over Izzy’s ribs and then stops and peers up at Izzy’s face. Izzy shivers under the scrutiny of Stede’s gaze and loses his train of thought. Stede must understand, on some level, because he tosses the wheel to the side and brings that hand back to Izzy’s cunt, using the thumb to start to trace slow circles over Izzy’s dick.
“Yes,” Izzy hisses out through clenched teeth. “More.”
Stede obliges, circling faster while keeping the same steady thrusts with his other hand. Izzy keens.
“Fucking hell,” Ed mutters. “The whole damn ship’s gonna hear you, mate.”
Izzy thinks about flipping him off, but at that moment Stede twists the four fingers inside Izzy at the same time as he reaches down and pinches Izzy’s dick. And Izzy swears his hearing goes out along with his vision as he comes harder than he has in a long time.
When he comes back to himself, panting, both Ed and Stede are staring at him. “What?” He snaps. “What are you looking at?”
Instead of answering, Ed leans over to elbow Stede in the ribs. “Did I live up to my promise or what?” he asks, winking.
“I’d sure say you did,” Stede replies, looking down at Izzy with something akin to tenderness. Izzy looks away. It wouldn’t do to dwell on that.
Luckily Ed is there as a distraction, as always. “Izzy,” he whines, blinking brown eyes over at him. “Can it be my turn next, I want to show Stede that toy we knicked from Jackie’s last we were there.”
“I have a better idea, boss,” Izzy says, leaning back against the pillows and closing his eyes. “I’ll show it to whoever manages to rescue the ball from the ocean.”
There’s a beat of silence and then the sound of two idiots scrambling over themselves to get dressed and clamber up to the deck before the sun goes down.
Izzy smiles, satisfied.