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Louis would not call himself an eavesdropper. 

Or at least the first time it happened, he certainly didn't mean to eavesdrop, so technically, he could not be blamed. 

When he had begun to feel a little cooped up, Louis had quietly slipped out of the living room, away from the animated conversation Liam and Harry were having, and onto the adjoining balcony. He hadn’t even bothered to excuse himself with a little ‘gonna have a smoke’, knowing that they both would already know and wouldn’t mind. The slight chill to the night was welcoming, and he shut the door behind him. It was quiet, and the night sky was already relieving him a bit of his restlessness.

Sighing softly, Louis patted his jeans pockets for his lighter and pulled out a fag when he found it. His mind drifted aimlessly as he lit it, taking a slow, deep drag and letting the smoke curl around his lungs before letting it feather away into the calm of the dark. He welcomed the familiar feeling as he leaned against the railing, looking down, lips quirking up slightly at the loud and brash group of young boys that staggered down the street under the dull street light. 

Something so familiar. Just as familiar as the little knot that had remained in the centre of his chest, twisting and winding itself tighter for quite a while now. 

For the rest of his smoke, Louis pointedly tried not to think about what was quite persistently nagging him to give attention to. It didn’t matter. None of it really mattered. And when the cool breeze finally started getting to him, making him shiver and wrap his arms around himself, he put out the cigarette, preparing to go back in. He was feeling less jittery now anyway, so mission accomplished. 

He had pushed the door open slightly when a somewhat hushed conversation reached his ears from the room, and naturally, he strained to hear what was being said.

“…and I don’t know what to do, Liam.”

Louis paused, still behind the glass sliding door, which was cracked open just a smidge. That had been Harry, voice low, and neither of those things would’ve made him stop in his tracks at all, except. Except Harry sounded distressed in a way that was unlike him; the alpha was normally the picture of calm and collected. This time though, despite the low tone, Louis could sense the despair and accumulated emotion. 

He wasn’t sure if Liam had said something, and he’d missed it or what, because the next thing he heard was Harry, slightly louder like he tended to be when he was passionate about something-

“…I’m just … so in love with him.”

Louis blinked. 

What???

This hushed revelation from Harry came like a gunshot- loud- and made his heart plummet. He could hardly process it, even as he was still busy wondering if he had even heard it right. Harry was … Harry was in love?? Since when?? 

Barely audible over the sudden rush of blood in his ears, he heard Liam mumble, “…why didn’t you say something sooner, H?”

He couldn’t. He couldn’t possibly be-

“…never felt this way about an omega before…” Louis held his breath, trying to make the words out. “…overwhelmed, hard to wrap my head around…”

Louis stood there, hands slowly freezing in the wind, unable to move for a second as he tried to process what he had accidentally heard. Harry was in love with an omega. 

The shock and confusion that had fallen over him like a bucket of ice was slowly washed over by a feeling that ran hot and acidic. Somehow, it gripped around his lungs tighter, more cruelly.

If Harry was in love … why had he not talked about it with Louis, his best friend? When they shared nearly everything? 

Not nearly everything , his brain added helpfully, and he huffed, annoyed. He took deliberate breaths to compose himself, because what was the point in getting worked up over nothing? Maybe Harry was waiting for the right time to tell him?

Louis stepped out from behind the door and shut it, wincing when it shut louder than he intended it to. Silence fell immediately, and any hope he had of casually inserting himself into the conversation was lost. He turned around with a broad smile pasted on regardless, walking towards Liam and Harry, who were looking up at him. Liam had a thoughtful expression on his face, which was quite normal for him. Harry, though, was smiling at him a little too sunnily for it to have been completely innocent.

Still, Louis was a man who possessed grace and unwavering ease about him – he would not give himself away. 

“I’m back, lads. What are youse chatting about?”

Harry’s eyes widening a fraction told him that maybe he hadn’t been as successful as he’d like. Oh well. 

“Nothing!” Harry replied, far too quick and snappy, stoking the fire of suspicion and hurt further, before adding, a bit more calmly, “Just, y’know, catching up.”

They’d seen Liam maybe two weeks back, at most. Louis narrowed his eyes at the alpha, who was peering up at him like he could will him to gloss over the obvious lie. And when perfect, sweetheart Harry, with his doe-like eyes and charming smile lifting his full lips, was looking up at him like that, Louis didn’t have a choice. 

Not today. Not now. 

“Alright,” Louis replied, going back to sitting next to Harry on the couch, hoping his familiar warmth would soothe or distract him from the shock sitting like lead in his stomach. He smiled at the both of them, albeit tightly. “Did Liam finally let loose any juicy details on his and Zayn’s kinky adventures?”

The sharp squeak and curse of “Lou!” that came from Liam was funny enough to break the tension hanging in the air, and Louis’ smile turned a touch more natural. Next to him, Harry had wrapped an arm around his shoulders, like he normally did, his chuckles shaking Louis a little. 

And it stung. Somehow, it stung worse than usual. Worse, now that he knew Harry was not just out of reach, but actually impossible to have. Bitterly, Louis thought that perhaps the only good thing to have come out of his pining was that he was used to shoving his feelings into a metaphorical chest and burying it six feet under. Sitting there laughing and talking when the hollowness echoed beneath his ribs, was nothing new.

He wanted to ask. Wanted to hear from Harry himself. As he watched Harry laugh at something stupid Liam said, watched him run his hands through his hair as a restless habit, as he watched a dimple dip in and out of his cheek, he wanted to know everything.

A part of him was telling him that Harry wouldn’t keep things from him. That he would come to him when the time was right. 

But Louis couldn’t wait. He was irrationally impatient, needing to hear it, in hopes that maybe then, his silly little heart could also get the memo. He knew that when he finally did, it would be awful, that he was pretty much guiding Harry’s hand to twist the knife by wanting to know more the way he did. 

It didn’t matter. Louis had lost self-preservation a long time ago, pretty much since the day he had dipped a toe hesitantly into having feelings for his alpha best friend, who most definitely did not return those feelings. 

He’d revisit the turmoil. Not today, not now.

***************************************

The second time it happened, Louis would argue he still could not be blamed. He couldn’t help the curiosity, sue him. 

He had just stepped out of the shower, towel wrapped around his waist, wet hair dripping down his back. Instead of going to his room, he kept going towards Harry’s room in hopes that he could borrow one of Harry’s hoodies instead of wearing his own. The alpha always let him, despite the grumbling; they’d known each other for years, since uni, and been flatmates for just as long – this was a recurring habit.

As he neared Harry’s door, he heard voices from the inside. Harry was speaking to someone.

“…you have no idea, Mum.”

Louis smiled automatically. Harry was likely on a video call with his mum, and it was always endearing to watch how sweet he was with her. The door was open just a bit, and Louis placed a hand on it, about to push it, when-

“…I can’t tell him!!”

Louis stopped in his tracks, hand still lightly resting on the door. He felt his heart pick up slightly as he once again was drawn to listening in. Something told him that Harry was talking about the omega that he was in love with.

He couldn’t really make out what Anne was saying, but then Harry spoke again. “I’ve known him for so long, Mum, one of my closest mates, I can’t just- I cannot-”

And though he expected it, the words had Louis’ heart dropping to his stomach. Jealousy coiled in him like a vicious serpent, spreading its venom through him and rooting him to the spot. He had to walk away now. He couldn’t hear more of this .

Like his body had a mind of its own, he remained there, waiting for Harry’s next words with bated breath. They were murmured, dejected, as Harry said, “He’s everything to me, Mum. It’s terrifying.”

Louis felt sick. To hear Harry talk about his love with such weight and intensity, and to know that he couldn’t be on the receiving end, despite being in love with him fiercely, was nauseating. Louis had never felt love like this before, so visceral that it rippled underneath his skin like it was bursting to rip through it. Nothing had ever felt like this. The pain of it being unreciprocated seared just as much. 

He almost missed the next mumbled “I love him so much” from Harry over the pounding in his head, and the pricking of his eyes. He had to leave, he had to leave now-

Except, in his haste, he accidentally ended up applying pressure on the door, making it crack open wider. Way wider. Wide enough for Harry to notice the movement, eyes flicking up to the open space from his laptop screen, instantly widening in panic. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. He couldn’t leave now, that would just look weird, Harry had literally spotted him eavesdropping, fucking shit.

“I’ll talk to you later, Mum. Love you, bye,” Harry quickly ended the call and shut his laptop. Louis was still standing exactly where he had been, unable to move, mind running a mile a minute.

“Lou?” Harry called out hesitantly. It was enough to break his stupor. 

“Haz, hey,” he sighed, pasting on a cheery smile, trying to squash the suspicion that rose steadily at the way Harry had hurriedly ended the call. “Can I come in?”

There was a pinch in between Harry’s eyebrows, even as he beckoned him in. Louis walked in, and could feel eyes on him as he went straight to Harry’s closet, rummaging through the clothes and trying to pick a hoodie. He swallowed nervously under the gaze, wondering what his next move should be, wondering how he was going to pretend that he hadn’t heard what he did when Harry so clearly must’ve caught on to the fact that he did.

He couldn’t ignore it if he tried, anyway.

Pulling a peach hoodie on, he aimed for casual as he asked, “Good chat with Anne?”

Harry’s answer was carefully neutral. “Yeah, was good, she said hi to you.”

“Hmm,” Louis hummed, stepping to the side towards the full-length mirror, not wanting to face Harry just yet. “What did you guys talk about? Anything interesting?” he asked, biting his cheek when the question did not come across as natural and nonchalant as he would’ve liked it to be. Oh well. 

“Nothing,” Harry replied, too quickly. Guilty . “Not much, she’s got far more interesting stories to say than I do, honestly. Anyway, did you wanna order some takeaway for tonight?”

Louis frowned at the unsubtle attempt to divert from the topic as he fiddled with his damp hair. And normally he would’ve let it go, but the sudden urge to know more, push Harry a bit, satiate his dangerous curiosity took hold of him.

So really, he was asking before he could even debate if it was a good idea, “You sure? Who were you talking about, then, because I’d say that’s pretty interesting.”

The moment of silence that followed was thick. Harry’s voice was monotone when he said, “You heard that?”

Louis couldn’t gauge his emotion from that, but the tension was palpable. “Yeah,” he said, because what was the point in pretending otherwise when they both knew. “Didn’t mean to, but now deffo curious about this mystery boy.”

“It’s nothing,” Harry repeated, though with a twinge of panic in his voice now. “It’s no one.”

Louis finally turned around, facing Harry and taking a few steps towards him. Harry wouldn’t meet his eye, and was picking at the sheet mindlessly.

“Oh come on, H,” he tried for playful, trying to inject his voice with a cheer he did not feel. “Why are you being so secretive about this, hmm? We talk about everything.” And it was fine, it was fine that Harry wouldn’t tell him, it was fine that he had no idea-

“I’m not,” Harry said, a weak retort at best, and they both knew it. Louis stepped closer and sat down at one edge of the bed.

“Why won’t you tell me?” he asked again, cursing himself at how desperate and vulnerable he sounded. He could smell the beginnings of distress in Harry’s scent, which was concerning. “Are you embarrassed?”

Harry said nothing, simply shaking his head. Louis placed a hand over his fidgeting one, stilling his movements.

“Then?” Louis pressed, “why do you not want to talk about it?”

“It’s not a big deal,” Harry shrugged jerkily. “It’s whatever.”

The tone of his voice told him that it was anything but whatever. Louis wasn’t an idiot. Harry was also underestimating just how well he knew him. 

“You know it’s okay, right? And you can talk to me about anything?” he asked, carefully trying to keep his own rejection out of his voice. Despite the hurt swimming in his veins, he wanted to know, and he wanted to be a good best friend. Harry not confiding in him was somehow worse than the fact that Louis’ feelings for him were in vain, unrequited.

“Just leave it, Lou,” Harry huffed out, an air of finality to his words. He was looking at him now, closed off and blank. His lips were pressed into a thin line, and Louis tried not to overthink that, tried not to look at his lips at all. He didn’t ever take too well to being shut down, least of all from Harry.

“Fine,” he said, tone clipped. Hurt flashing across Harry’s face briefly only served to add to his confusion, but he had to go, it was getting too much for him, to be in his presence and feel like he was burning when normally he basked under his warmth. “I’ll order takeout.”

Before he left, he heard a quiet, “thanks Lou”, but he didn’t trust his voice enough to reply with a “no problem”. He made it all the way to his room before he collapsed on his bed, still in the odd combination of a towel and Harry’s hoodie. 

Harry’s hoodie that smelled like him. Which was all that he could have of Harry. Because Harry was in love with someone else.

Heartbreak felt like he was sinking in quicksand, helpless not to kick and fight for a love that would never be his, all the while knowing that he was going to be drowned. He needed to try and get over him if he was to not break.

He repeated the moments where Harry was talking about the omega he loved over and over in his head in hopes that his heart would get the message, but it wasn’t the ideal way to do it. He had little choice, however. 

He was drowning, and he was drowning fast.

***********************************

“You don’t come for a cuddle and sleep in bed any more.”

Louis lifted his head up from the book he had been focused on. Harry was stood at the entrance to his room, pouting at him, eyes puffy and softened around the corners. A quick glance at the clock told him it had just gone past midnight; and when had it gotten so late? Why was Harry still up?

“Huh?” he asked absently, closing his book. Harry looked a little dreamy in the glow of his fairy lights, and his heart gave a weak little stutter. 

“You haven’t come to sleep next to me in ages,” Harry repeated, just short of a whine. And that- that just wasn’t true. Or fair. Louis had indeed stopped indulging in sneaking into Harry’s bed and falling asleep cosied up to him, but it was only ever since he had found out that Harry was in love with an omega. Partly because he worried that Harry’s unknown omega would be upset if Harry turned up smelling like him; would that not be disrespectful? If he was Harry’s romantic interest and if he smelled like another omega, he would be crushed. But you aren’t his omega , his mind reminded him like a taunt. But mostly, he’d refrained because he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Couldn’t will himself to selfishly take when Harry was not his to seek from. 

“Only because you keep falling asleep before I even have my dinner, you big oaf. Who even falls asleep before 10 pm?” Louis joked weakly, a little belatedly, hoping Harry wouldn’t notice. “Didn’t wanna disrupt your sleep.”

Lie lie lie lie.

“Oh,” Harry said, a little blankly. He scratched at his navel, and Louis stubbornly kept his eyes on Harry’s face and not at the sliver of skin that flashed as his shirt moved a little with the movement. “Well, I’m awake today,” he added, a question and suggestion at once. 

Louis knew what he was asking, but couldn’t bring himself to respond to it. Instead, he laughed a little hoarsely. “I can see that, Captain Obvious.”

“Come sleep with me?” 

Harry had taken a few steps inside, and almost like a magnetic pull, Louis could feel the need to be closer to him intensify. How was he meant to turn him down? “I’m not tired yet, Haz.” Another lie . Since when had this ever been an issue for them

“You can just come lay with me. Or you can even sit up and read a little, till you feel tired. I can manage to sleep with the lights on.”

“That’s bullshit, H, and we both know it. You hate sleeping with any lights on.”

“Yeah, but,” he shrugged, looking away. “I’d rather sleep with lights on and you there, than try and fail to sleep in the dark.”

Dammit. “I don’t know, Haz-” weak. Weak weak weak.

“Please, Lou?” and he sounded so soft, a little devastatingly open. “Can’t really sleep tonight.”

And for all the easy-going, calmly confident alpha that naturally commanded attention that he was, he was currently standing there, in Louis’ room, a little pigeon-toed and exhaustion-soaked. Louis knew that only he really got to see him like that, see him at his best and worst and everything in between, and he did not take that for granted. 

Well. Now Louis and likely the omega he was in love with, perhaps. 

Still. Harry looked adorably tired, and his omega wanted nothing more than to soothe and appease the alpha. He had never been able to resist him at the best of times, let alone now, when he was looking at him like this, expectation dancing in his eyes. 

“Y’alright, love?” he asked quietly, even if his brain kept screaming at him to turn him away somehow, anyhow, keep the wall up firmly so that the hurt wouldn’t seep through and drench everything in its reach. 

“Yeah,” Harry mumbled, frowning. “Just really wired, I guess. And being around you normally helps.”

Being around him helped. Harry found his presence comforting. For a second, Louis’ heart fluttered hopefully, before quickly nosediving. He only came to you because he needed help. You’re useful and that’s it.

Louis had to physically shake his head to shake the thoughts off and put them under lock and key, and realized that he had gone a few moments too long without answering Harry. Which would explain why the alpha had begun to look a little hesitant, looking around like he suddenly found himself being out of place.

“But it’s cool if you’re not feeling up to it, I just- I just thought I’d ask, but-”

“Harry,” Louis cut him off, placing his book on the bedside table, “we can cuddle.”

The way hope lit Harry’s eyes up was dangerous, doing nothing but add to the fire burning him from the inside out. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he sighed, resigned. He could do this. 

“You don’t have to stop reading, y’know.”

“I know. Think I’m done for the night, though. If I continue, I’m gonna be up till I finish it.”

“Right, we can’t have that,” Harry said, a dimple poking out. Was there a god? Because Louis would appreciate some divine intervention. 

“No, I guess not.” He picked at his sheets nervously. “Shall we?”

“Yeah, 'course. Do you wanna go to my room? Or stay here?”

Louis briefly considered. As it was, he felt a little fragile. Being in a room that smelled overpoweringly like Harry, and to be in his bed would play tricks on his poor omega, and he didn’t need that, it was hard enough already. “Mine? Can we stay here?”

The look Harry returned was unbearably soft, and Louis almost felt angry at it. “Yeah, of course, darling.”

The little ritual of settling into bed came heartbreakingly easy, from how often they had taken to cuddling before bed. The kind of ease that came with being in someone’s life, practically living in each other's pockets for a few years, knowing them inside out. Harry settled onto his side of the bed like it was second nature, and Louis gazed at him longingly for a second, bundled up in his covers, before he flicked the light off and climbed into bed. 

In the darkness, he accidentally elbowed Harry, punching out a small ‘oof’ from him. “Sorry,” he mumbled, waiting for his eyes to adjust.

“It’s okay.” Harry’s warmth was bleeding onto him, and they weren’t even touching yet. “You could keep your fairy lights on, y’know? They’re alright.”

Louis shook his head, before speaking up. “Nah. I can do without them.” He hoped the darkness would be his safety blanket.

“You sure?” Harry asked, shuffling closer. Automatically, Louis turned around, curling up, as Harry easily moulded himself to his back. An arm around his waist tugged him backwards till he was plastered to Harry’s front, till he could feel Harry’s breath hit the back of his neck. Louis tensed, then consciously tried to relax his body. 

“I’m sure.”

“Okay,” Harry mumbled, nuzzling into the back of his neck, sighing. “Missed this.”

Louis wanted to cry. Or break something. Or both. Harry’s simple words felt like slashes to an already rattled heart. Having to swallow down his own feelings and act like lying so close to him wasn’t burning holes in his insides from everything he suppressed, was already wreaking havoc on him. He couldn’t give himself away. Instead, he let out a controlled breath, staring straight ahead into the darkness as he replied, “Me too.”

“You’re too good to me, Louis,” he said softly, tiredness creeping into his unexpected words. Louis frowned. Not good enough for him to return the feelings, though. 

“None of that, babe.” Everything was so brittle in the vulnerability of the night. “Sleep, okay?”

“Mmkay.”

Louis did not count how many breaths Harry took between being awake and falling into a peaceful slumber, but it was a damn near thing. He couldn’t settle the entire time he waited for Harry to fall asleep; he could’ve jumped out of his own skin, hyperaware, both of his feelings that flitted around like an annoying bunch of gnats, as well as of every single point of contact between them both. All through it, he breathed in and out evenly, hoping Harry would just think he was asleep.

Only when he heard the quietest little snore, did he fall lax. He was envious of how Harry had evidently felt comfortable enough to finally sleep, whereas he was slowly going out of his mind. The night was looking long and torturous. 

Louis didn’t have a clue as to how much time had passed, or what time it even was. His own thoughts were keeping him unwelcome company, but he was pulled out of them when Harry made a soft noise against him, smacking his lips. Louis’ breath caught involuntarily. 

Harry was mumbling something, barely understandable. For a second, he wondered if he was awake, before he remembered that the alpha had a tendency to talk in his sleep sometimes, especially if he was knackered. He exhaled, focusing on the sporadic mumbles, only making out random words here and there. He smiled a little, helplessly endeared by the quirk. 

“… love…”

Louis blinked hard, perking up at how Harry’s words seemed a touch sharper.

“…’M in love …with you.”

Louis froze. His heart thudded heavily. What?!

Harry hummed, arm around him tightening briefly, before he breathed out, “Want you … so … much, mm.”

He couldn’t- he couldn’t be? Louis felt a little light-headed, Harry’s words ricocheting painfully in his traitorous mind for a long, shocked moment, before his heart sank. Oh.

Harry wasn’t talking to him. Harry was talking out loud, in his sleep, about the omega friend he was in love with. 

Jealousy and heartbreak swirled in the pit of his stomach like a disgusting concoction. He wanted to laugh at himself, for even foolishly daring to think for one, naive moment, that Harry could’ve been talking about him, or to him. How fucking stupid. How pathetic. 

Harry had pressed even closer and was still muttering, his lips now grazing against Louis’ neck. He shivered, clenching his hands into tight little fists. This was torture. What had he done to earn this?

“… everything … everything t’me.”

Louis scrunched his eyes shut, hopeless to not be angry at the little quirk that he’d found endearing just a few minutes back. Fuck Harry. And fuck his omega friend. Fuck him for roping Louis into cuddling him to sleep, and fuck him for talking in his sleep, and for talking about how he was so in love. Fuck him for putting Louis through this turmoil without even knowing it.

And most of all, fuck him for being so hopelessly, irrevocably, foolishly in love with an alpha he didn’t stand a chance with. 

“I love you… I love … you,” Harry rasped out, and his lips were so close to Louis’ scent gland, brushing against sensitive skin so temptingly, and Louis couldn’t, he just couldn’t. He didn’t even know if he wanted to press closer or pull away, but in the end, he did neither, out of fear of waking Harry up. 

As Harry returned to barely audible mumbles, and eventually quiet snuffles, Louis felt his eyes prickle. His valiant blinks to keep the tears at bay didn’t work, because they were slipping out anyway, without permission. The same way Harry had slipped into and beneath every crevice of his heart, making a home there. Trying to breathe quietly and evenly felt like breathing in saltwater; everything burned, and Louis just wanted it to fucking stop .

Move on. Move on move on move on, move on, please , he begged himself, stuffing a fist up against his lips to muffle any traitorous sobs. Loving Harry felt like soaring. Knowing he would never be loved back the same felt as crashing violently. 

Harry, thankfully, was out cold, as Louis trembled in his arms lightly from the effort it took to hold the sobs in. Worst of all, he still felt secure and safe in his hold, even with the knowledge that he couldn’t have more. 

Louis spent several hours of the night, urging himself to just keep breathing, and to keep pretending that this was enough. If this, lying close to Harry, as nothing more than a best friend to him, was all that he could have, then he would learn to take what he could get. 

This had to be enough. It had to be.

****************************************

Louis couldn’t do it.

He couldn’t possibly resist the questions burning at the tip of his tongue and clouding his brain. He couldn’t help his curiosity or the unshakeable feeling that he deserved to at least know the identity of this mystery omega. 

He couldn’t help wanting to rub salt into the wound, hoping that the stinging pain would maybe, finally , be enough to help him move on.

The beer, or three, that was swimming in his system paired with a festering hurt was a terrible combination, really, one that wore down his brain-to-mouth filter in time with the sun setting. He and the lads were scattered around their living room, unbothered about getting up to turn the lights on, even though the sunshine was fading rapidly. He didn’t know whose idea it was to crack open the beers, because he now felt too warm and bothered, as if the summer humidity wasn’t bad enough. 

He also blamed the beers for the fact that out of utter boredom, someone had started a stupid game of truth or dare. What were they, 14??

He resolutely blamed the beer, when it was finally his turn, and his eyes fixed on Harry rather predictably. On beautiful, stupid, carefree Harry, sat cross-legged on the floor, laughing a little at something someone had said. The last of the golden rays filtering into the room made the ends of his curls shine a stupid golden, tinted his stupidly cute cheeks with warmth, and made Louis’ stomach swoop stupidly. All it did was make an irrational anger rise up in him nauseatingly.

“Harry,” he said, soft, but it caught the other boy’s attention; it always did. He faltered only for a second under Harry’s intense, curious gaze before he continued, “Truth or dare?”

Harry titled his head this way and that, playfully considering it at length, before meeting his eyes again with a little smirk. “Truth.”

Someone called out a joking ‘wimp’ and Harry flipped them off. Louis wasn’t focusing on it, instead deliberating on his question. Everything else faded into the blurry edge.

In the end, all his consideration was for nothing, because the blunt question that he ended up asking tactlessly was, “Who is this omega you’ve got your eyes on?”

Despite Louis barely tuning into anything else, he could’ve sworn that he could hear the air being sucked out of the room as everyone lapsed into silence. Tense silence. Odd. He had bigger problems to worry about, though. Like the fact that even he could tell that he had not done a good job of keeping the jealousy out of his question.

Harry, on his part, stared at him with wide eyes for a moment, before shaking his head minutely. 

“I pick dare.”

Louis narrowed his eyes at him. “I dare you to tell me who the omega is.”

“What? That’s not fair!” Harry exclaimed, raising his voice a little, and throwing his hands up.

“Neither is changing your pick after you already picked truth!!” Louis shouted back in the same tone. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Niall and Liam exchanging a worried glance.

“It’s just a silly game, Louis!”

“Exactly, so why are you getting defensive?”

Harry fell silent, a stormy look on his face. He sighed. “Why can’t you let it be?”

The resignation in the question further pulled at the gaping rip in his heart. “Why won’t you tell me?” Louis asked, just as quietly, trying to stop the hurt from bleeding into his words.

Harry was fidgeting, picking at the small hole in his jeans, not meeting his eye. Louis frowned.

“We’re best mates, Harry,” he added, sounding small even to his own ears, and he hated it. “So, why won’t you tell-”

“Fine!” Harry huffed, rubbing his face. “I’m not saying names, not yet, okay? I’ll tell you three things about him, though.”

It wasn’t what he had asked for, but Louis nodded, desperate for just about anything. 

“He’s…” Harry paused, hesitant. “He’s really nice…”

“Uh huh…”

“He…makes me laugh, he’s really funny…”

Louis nodded, trying not to grimace at the ugly feeling twisting within him. 

“And….he…he reminds me of summertime. Just…golden.”

What the fuck?

Louis blinked at him, waiting for a moment, still pondering the last vague but poetic fact, before he realized Harry was done. “That’s it?”

“Three things,” Harry shrugged. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“What??”

“You might as well have not answered at all, H, with those vague fuckin answers! Summertime ? Really??” he asked, frustrated. 

A look of hurt crossed Harry’s face. “I didn’t lie!”

“To lie, you actually have to state something specific!”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Louis,” said Harry, a little testily.

Louis was tired. He simply did not understand why he wouldn’t tell him. Unless…

“Do I know him?”

“Wh- huh?”

“This person you’re in love with. The omega. Do I know him?” Louis asked again, carefully watching Harry.

Harry shrugged, scratching his neck. “Maybe.”

So that was a yes. Was that why he was being so weird??

“Harry…”

“Gonna grab a drink,” Harry loudly cut in, interrupting anything he was going to say with an air of finality, “anyone wants anything?”

Some ‘no’s rang through the air, and Louis stared at Harry in disbelief as he got up. Liam was then springing to his feet as well. 

“I’ll come with, gonna see what snack I can get my hands on.”

They both left in the direction of the kitchen, leaving Louis feeling simultaneously defeated and riled up at once. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he could feel the other two gazing his way, and he didn’t want to look at them just yet.

“Be right back boys, gonna go for a smoke,” he muttered, and got up, walking away, still not looking at Zayn or Niall, afraid he’d give too much away, if he hadn’t already. He patted his pockets, grunting in annoyance when it turned up empty. Where was it?

After a moment of thinking, he realized that his pack of cigarettes and lighter were in a pair of trousers hanging in his room. As he was making his way to the hallway that led to the bedroom, he passed the kitchen, hearing hushed voices. At this point, it was mere habit, that he paused, staying out of sight, as he listened in. Not eavesdropping. Just curious. 

“…almost told him…”

“Why didn’t you? It was the perfect opportunity.” That was Liam. Louis held his breath.

“…lost my nerve…”

A deep frown made its way onto his face. Why was Harry so worried? Did he think Louis would hate him? Had he done anything to make him think that Louis would be an ass to this omega? Did his not-so-subtle jealousy and pushiness make him seem like a dick?

“…mate…”

“…leave it, Li…fucked up.”

Louis needed that smoke. He needed it bad. Somehow, asking for answers had only muddled his brain further, and he felt like crawling out of his skin. If his friends weren’t here, he would’ve maybe crawled into his nest, in a desperate bid to create some sort of comfort, but.

For now, a smoke would do to drown the confusion and ache lingering within him. 

****************************

Oh no. Oh no oh no ohnononono-

“Niall,” Louis hissed, grabbing blindly at the brunette somewhere next to him, latching onto his arm harshly as he kept his eyes firmly on the target. The target, in this case, was a familiar head of curls that kept bobbing in and out of sight a little ways away. A sharp gasp coming from his right told him that he indeed had grabbed the other omega.

“Mate, what the fuck, what ?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Louis seethed, pointing a thumb back in the general direction he was aimlessly gazing at, till he had spotted him somehow in the middle of all those people. “What the fuck is he doing here??”

“Huh?” Niall looked confused, following his gaze, and he must’ve seen him too because realization crossed his face. “Oh.”

“Ni.”

“What?? Don’t look at me! I didn’t mention a word to him that we’re hanging out here!”

Louis groaned, turning his entire body away from the side that he’d seen Harry in, hoping to blend into the background. “Then how ?”

Niall shrugged, sipping at his beer. “One of the other lads must’ve called him. I did not think this through.”

“If I get through this night without anything happening which makes me want to crawl into a hole and hide, I’m gonna kill you,” Louis muttered, just loud enough for Niall to hear. The omega simply laughed.

“You’re going to be okay, bud. Have a few drinks, get your mind off things. I’ll go see if I can have Harry mostly stick with the others, at least for a bit, okay?”

Louis sighed. “No amount of drinks is going to erase the fact that I’m stupid and hung up over him, but cheers, I guess.”

“That’s the spirit!”

Louis scowled at the back of Niall’s retreating figure, even though it technically was no one’s fault but his that he was in this predicament. But little could be changed now. He took a shot, wincing a little as it burned down his throat. And then let his head fall to the counter from where he was sat on the bar stool, lamenting the fact that he should have known that this would’ve not gone well from the moment Niall suggested a lads' night out at the pub.

*Earlier that day*

“Spill.”

Louis blinked up at Niall as he took a seat on the adjacent couch, setting down two mugs of tea. “Huh?”

Niall gave him a look. “I know you did not just come around to mine at …10 am on a Saturday simply because you wanted to hang out, when normally we can’t expect you out of bed before midday on a weekend. Which means you’ve got something you need to get off your chest- ah ah, don’t even deny it, so spill.”

“What if I indeed just wanted to spend some time with my best mate,” Louis glared at him. “Do you really think so shallow of me?”

Niall rolled his eyes, leaning back in his seat and sipping at his tea primly. “Ah, defensiveness. Also a rather typical and predictable Tomlinson trait- heh, Tomlinson trait , that’s clever, and I just made that up, can you believe?”

The audacity. Louis scowled at him, crossing his arms and refusing to say a word. A beat passed before Niall softened.

“C’mon, Lou. What is it, hmm? You know I’m all ears.”

Louis swallowed hard, fiddling with his sleeves. He hadn’t thought this through. He had indeed come here to chat, but now that he was here, he wasn’t sure how he was meant to confess something that felt like timeline-altering news. The silence that stretched was long, and suffocating, and it was the only reason he finally ended up blurting out,

“I’m in love with Harry.”

He couldn’t meet Niall’s eye after the confession. It had felt like a shot going off in the night, alarming and terrifying and obscenely loud, and he suddenly felt disturbingly naked and vulnerable, an itch beginning under his skin. But then, there was no reaction from Niall, and that was odd, so he hesitantly shifted his eyes up to look at Niall.

Niall was looking back at him, appearing rather bored. Had he not heard? Had he thought Louis was joking??

“I’m … in love … with Harry,” he repeated, slower.

Niall raised a brow. “Don’t tell me that like I’m thick, heard ya the first time.”

“You … don’t look surprised.”

“I’d have been more shocked if you told me you felt nothing for Harry at all.”

Louis picked at the skin of his thumb, fidgeting. What. “What?”

“Bud. I hate to break it to you, but you aren’t subtle, like, at all.”

A ball of lead dropped to the pits of Louis’ stomach. Oh god. Oh god oh god- Was he that obvious? If Niall could tell, could the rest of the lads tell as well? Fuck- could Harry?? Did Harry know, and pity him? Was he pretending he didn’t know so that he could spare Louis of eternal embarrassment? Fucking shit, he could just die right now, this was somehow worse than the fact Harry did not return his feelings, and- okay, gotta breathe normally, no reason to have a silly little freak-out-

“Hey.” Niall’s soft tone and an equally gentle hand on his knee broke him out of his millionth Harry-induced spiral. Niall had come to sit closer to him, looking at him with concern, and Louis wanted to run. “It’s okay,” he added, reassuring. Except it wasn’t.

“It’s not OKAY!!!” Louis yelled a little abruptly, throwing his hands up. “This is so- so mortifying - does Harry know?”

“Uh, no, I mean, I don’t think so-”

“I just- I’m in love with a fucking alpha who does not feel the same about me, and you’re telling me there’s a chance that he might know how I feel, and I’ve just. Been going around being so- nothing about this is okay, fuck, fuck- ”

He dug his fists into his eyes, feeling them burn as much as his cheeks were, just one more humiliating thing to add to the list of humiliating things he’d done-

Then Niall was pulling him into a side hug, warm and familiar, the sweet scent of him at least somewhat comforting. “Oh, babe. I’m sorry …”

Louis sniffled, annoyed that he couldn’t hold the tears at bay. “I wish … I just feel so stupid. Been hung up over him for years and each day I’m in over my head over him, not only for him to not feel the same but also to be in love with someone else.”

Niall was listening quietly, rubbing his shoulder. 

“I’m so dumb … worse is that I still cannot seem to get over him. No logic, no sense, nothing is getting through to me, and I want the best for him, I really do. So I should be able to move on, I wish that I could move on, and I’m so angry that I can’t ,” he rambled, getting quieter and quieter, voice breaking on the last word.

Niall sighed. “Only time will help, bud, you know that.”

Louis shook his head, pulling his hands away only so he could stuff his face against Niall’s shoulder. “I know, but I- I wish it was easier. Wish it wasn’t so painful.”

Niall kissed his head. “These things aren’t ever easy, it’s not something you can flip a switch on. It’s always easier to fall in love than to uproot those feelings. You’re going to be okay, Lou.”

“Never thought it would be like this … feel like this … even if I never expected much to come from it.”

“I’m sorry, Louis. I wish it wasn’t like this for you.”

Louis let out a watery laugh, shrugging, trying to ignore the way his chest burned. “I don’t regret it, y’know? Falling in love with him. Even if it’s killing me, I don’t regret a thing. I could never.”

“Oh, love.”

Louis didn’t have anything else to say. What was the point in saying anything when it would lead nowhere? He couldn’t have anyway, because he felt choked up, taken over by sharp pain. Heartbreak at its finest. So he sat there quietly crying into Niall, grateful that he hadn’t pushed away his snotty, pathetic, sad self. 

After a while had passed, Niall tapped his back, guiding him to pull away. Louis had stopped crying at some point, and he sheepishly accepted the tissue that was handed to him. 

“Thanks. Just getting my yearly ugly cry out of the way, don’t mind me,” he joked hoarsely. Niall was looking at him with caring eyes, but he smiled at the half-arsed attempt at a joke nevertheless.

“As we all do,” he said back in jest, bumping shoulders with him. He appeared thoughtful for a moment before he continued, “I’ve got an idea.”

Louis squinted at him warily. “Is this a ‘let's eat shit food and watch shit TV till we pass out’ kinda idea or a ‘let's get drunk and piss on your ex’s outdoor money plant at 3 am because he was a dick’ kinda plan”-

“That was one time!!” Niall interjected, cackling even as his face turned beet red, “and I was drunk off me arse, I didn’t even mean to, but serves him right, and who the fuck keeps their money plants outside anyway-”

“I’m not pissing on Harry’s plants. They’re succulents, and they’re at our place, and also he isn’t a dick, so really, there’s no need-”

“Who said anything about pissing on a plant, for fuck's sake, Louis!” Niall cut in loudly, wheezing. “Chill, that’s not my idea!”

“Good,” Louis said, cracking a genuine smile at the absurdity of it all. He loved Niall. “What’s your idea?”

“Wanna have a lad's night out? At the pub? Get your mind off things?”

“Ni. I truly don’t need to get shit-faced and accidentally confess to Harry or something. I will actually have to move countries if that happens-”

“Calm it, drama queen. It can be just us four. Or three, depending on if Z feels like being a little hermit today or not.”

“Bless him,” they both said in unison, fond. 

Louis still scratched his neck, considering. “I don’t know, Ni. Don’t know if I feel in a pub mood.”

“You’ve got the rest of the day to bounce back from your yearly cry session.”

Louis punched his arm lightly. “Ugh. Fine. I suppose it’s better than sitting around and moping and trying to act normal around Harry.”

“Atta boy!”

“If I get drunk and do something stupid, though, I’m blaming you.”

“Of course, would not expect anything less.”

So that was settled. Bit of a cliché, really, trying to drown out his feelings by drinking, but he didn’t exactly have any better ideas. Maybe this was what he needed. It’d be fine.

He hoped it would be fine.

*Present time*

This was going to be the last time Louis ignored his instincts. Because now, now he was sitting in a pub trying to blend into the furnishings and the people alike, in hopes that a certain alpha wouldn’t find him. The alpha who happened to be his best friend and someone he was in love with. As he tugged the hood of his hoodie over his head while trying to seem inconspicuous, he had to shake his head at the absurdity of the situation. He needed another shot. 

As he nursed another drink, minutes ticking by in tandem with the loud and enthusiastic pub quiz night going on, Louis tried to breathe. Even though he was turtle necking a little and tensely facing away from the direction he had spotted Harry, he began to have a little hope that he would, somehow, evade Harry’s attention anyway. After all, he’d been mostly left unbothered for a good while. Maybe Niall had successfully steered Harry away from his direction after all. Good man. Maybe he could breathe a bit.

That didn’t last too long, however. 

“There you are!!”

Loud, brash, a little slurred, and unmistakably Harry.

Louis was going to kill Niall. Or at least piss on his plants.

He dropped his head into his arms, staying hidden like that a minute longer, in hopes that it would somehow make him invisible. Sure fucking was invisible to Harry as a potential mate after all. 

“Where- where didyago? How could y’leave me alone to suffer like that?” Harry’s slurred, shouted words sounded closer this time. No such luck. As if it wasn’t bad enough that a heartbroken Louis had to deal with Harry, he now had to deal with a drunk Harry. Great. Why was the universe pissing on his metaphorical plants? Unwilling to face him, Louis remained slightly turned away from the approaching alpha, head bent down and hood firmly covering the sides of his face.

“Heyyy,” and Harry had finally elbowed his way to his side, the barstool next to him dragging noisily as he stumbled a bit. Louis automatically reached out, but Harry caught himself just in time on the bar top. At least he didn’t have to deal with a drunken and HURT Harry. “Li, are you trying to hide from me?”

And, what. Did his drunken arse really mistake him for Liam? That was a little offensive. He could’ve probably picked Harry out from a crowd blindfolded. 

Although, he considered, sneaking a quick glance sideways, eyeing his flushed cheeks and mussed hair and gangly limbs unwilling to coordinate at his will, he did seem a bit wasted. And then he looked down at himself, scoffing when he spotted it. He was wearing one of Liam’s hoodies that he had borrowed and never returned, and with the hood all the way up, he supposed he couldn’t blame Harry. He wasn’t about to correct him, either. Maybe this would offer him a slight reprieve. 

“Leeyummmm,” Harry whined, high-pitched and ridiculous. Louis loved him. “Talk to me please, I swearrr….I won’t talk about being in love….for like, twenty minutes, ‘s all I could do.”

As if. Though Louis would greatly appreciate it. Louis didn’t say anything, and for a few minutes there was no sound from Harry, he could only sense that the alpha was stood next to him, a little distance between them. But then he heard a shot glass being set down heavily, and another one being slid across the table, and a quick look to the side had his gaze catching on a few shot glasses in front of Harry. Worry pooled in his gut.

“What are you doing?” he asked, hoping Harry wouldn’t immediately recognize that he was indeed speaking to Louis and not Liam. 

Harry threw back another shot, barely wincing. “We’re at a pub, Li. I’m drinking .”

Louis rolled his eyes at the dry comment, merely humming. Harry slumped against the table.

“Drinking my sorrows away,” he continued, ending on a hiccup. 

“Huh?” Louis asked involuntarily, immediately concerned despite it all, despite the very source of his own sorrow sitting a foot away from him, reeking of alcohol and something spicy that was so inherently Harry and so comforting. Enough so that he forgot his own problem for a minute, instead focusing on Harry. 

Why was Harry sad? Had something happened? Had something gone wrong with the omega? “What’s wrong?” he asked gently.

“I’m suffering, Li, did you not hear?” he wailed a little dramatically, but it was still tinged with genuine despair that snagged at Louis’ heart. He was going to ask, his flimsy cover of impersonating Liam be damned, but Harry was blessedly apparently on a drunken ramble. 

“I just wanna TELL HIM!” he said with a shout, drawing the eyes of several people in a five-metre radius for a moment. Louis winced, awkwardly patting his back twice to calm him, before pulling his hand back like he’d been burned. 

“Just wanna … wanna tell him that I love ‘im, but,” a hiccup interrupted his moaning, “I can’t. ”

Louis couldn’t believe it. Harry was actually talking about this person that he was in love with. Granted, it was because he thought he was speaking to Liam, but. Still the most he had heard directly. 

“Why not?” he asked, curious, both about what was on Harry’s mind, as well as about how long he could get away with this cover of being mistaken for Liam. 

“Too much to lose,” Harry sniffed, grip tight around another shot glass. “Too much to risk, cannot … cannot ruin what we have.”

Louis furrowed his brows, that sentiment hitting a little too close to home. How relatable. As mad and hurt as he was, Louis truly felt for him at that moment.

Harry’s voice was thick and brimmed with emotion when he spoke next. “I know I said I won’t talk about him but fuck, Li…jus’want’im so bad.” The longing gave way to dreaminess. “He’s … wonderful. And smart. And funny … there’s no one like him.”

And oh, that one hurt. They say you speak the truth when under the influence. Louis didn’t even need to know that to sense the sincerity and longing in his words. It stung, to hear such adoring words coming from a very intoxicated love of his life, and he swallowed harshly. He wanted to know more, you reap what you sow.

“And he’s just. So pretty. So beautiful. So so so prettyyyy … and fuck Liii, I want him. I want him,” Harry slurred, rubbing at his face wearily. Or in frustration, he couldn’t tell.

Louis’ brows climbed higher, wondering if he’d imagined the twinge of desperation in his words. Because if that was the case, kill him now. Surely he had not done anything so awful in his past life to warrant this specialized torment.

“That arse of his …” Harry groaned, gravelly and needy. Well, fuck. He had not imagined it. Fuck it all. “…do y’know how hard it is to keep my hands away? Do you??? ”

Louis didn’t. And now he did. He also now knew jealousy like he had never known in his life before. The universe wasn’t pissing on his plants, the universe was pissing on him . He clenched and unclenched his fists just so he could focus on something other than the souring feeling taking hold of him.

For better or for worse, Harry seemed to be off on a tangent. Bastard . “I’ve dreamed about that mouth of his for years … wanting to know what it tastes like, what it feels like.” Harry sounded like he was two seconds away from drooling, his scent having shifted to something headier, matching his lust-filled words, and oh god . Louis squirmed in his seat, the words having an unexpected effect on him. He sat there, getting increasingly appalled at the way that words directed to someone else, about someone else, was getting him hot and bothered, just because it was from Harry. Just because it was from Harry’s sinful mouth, just because it was everything he would idly daydream about.

Fuck fuck fuck. He was pathetic . 

“Wanna get my mouth on ‘im everywhere,” Harry groaned, words revealing how affected he was. “Mark him up so everyone knows. That he is finally mine .”

Louis wanted to fucking cry. At the words, at the low curl of possessiveness in them, at how this omega was so fucking lucky to have Harry so besotted, and he didn’t even know it. As it was, his omega was weak, and a low keen slipped past his lips without permission. That should’ve been him. It should’ve been him.

“… it’s so fucking hard to resist him when he smells the way he does, Li,” Harry said, burying his head in his arms, down on the table. “I’m sorry but … that damned scent of caramel is everywhere, it never leaves my head and god I just wanna … wanna taste him to see if he tastes as good as he smells … bet he does,” he trailed off in a mumble, but Louis barely caught the end of it with the way blood was rushing through his ears. 

The few drinks he had were slowing down his system, but the words still had him pausing and frowning deeply. Wait. Wait a minute. Was he … surely he couldn’t be speaking about….??

“Li,” Harry was mumbling, sounding incredibly out of it, “I must be losing my mind.”

“Why’s that?” Louis asked blankly, mind running a mile a minute, the puzzle pieces being shaken up ruthlessly, as he tried to knock some sense into himself. It wasn’t possible. It was pure coincidence that the omega supposedly had a caramel scent.

“Because I can smell him here, now, fucking hell,” Harry drawled, hitting a fist against the table lightly. Nothing compared to the way Louis’ heart was pounding. There was simply one answer that made sense, that fit, that cleared up so many unanswered questions and doubts, and yet. He couldn’t be foolish and rash to believe it. He couldn’t. 

Harry, bless him, was still mumbling. “It’s like it never leaves my mind, like he is right with me always no matter what, fuck, just sweet and delectable and. Fucking caramel and bergamot. Everywhere.”

Oh fucking Christ, he was.

That was undeniably Louis’ scent he was talking about. And currently likely scenting. The caramel could’ve been overlooked, but the bergamot … Louis knew what he smelled like when he got slick, and right now, sat on an uncomfortable, plastic chair, fidgeting and flushed from Harry’s previous words, he could confirm it. Harry was … Harry was talking about him. 

In typical Louis fashion, he began to freak out. The shaken-up puzzle pieces fell into place in eerie perfection. It should’ve come as a relief, but instead, Louis’ head felt like a pan of popping kernels. 

He was the omega Harry had been talking about all this time? He was the omega Harry was … in love with?? The alpha returned his feelings?? Or was he just that drunk and hopelessly confused? What the fuck was he meant to do?

He had a million questions burning. He needed answers, clarity, confirmation before he could fully let himself believe in it. He’d never forgive himself if he jumped to conclusions too quickly and got his heart broken all over again just because he was foolish and desperate. But as he looked at a slumped-over Harry, who was mumbling something at the table in between hiccups, he knew he wasn’t getting peace tonight.

“Harry,” he sighed, voice wavering. Terrified, overwhelmed, dumbfounded. Resolutely unwilling to actually process that Harry could very well be in love with him too, unless he heard it from a sober mouth. That didn’t stop it from feeling like the ground beneath his feet was falling. He needed to sit down. And maybe stare at a wall for 8 hours.

“Wanna go home,” Harry muttered, barely coherent. Right. Louis was somehow saddled with a shitfaced Harry and a drunken confession that he had to carry home and put to rest. Staring at the wall would have to wait. So would the onslaught of emotions currently attacking his system. 

He was not sober enough for this. Or maybe, he was not drunk enough for this.

“Right, let’s get you home, hmm?” he asked gently, placing a hand on Harry’s back. Harry didn’t move. He simply grunted.

“Fuck now I’m hearing him everywhere too … I’m fucked. Fucked fucked fucked.”

Louis let out a strangled laugh, because truly, what was he meant to do? Pulling his phone out, he shot Niall a quick text letting him know that he was going home and taking Harry with him. And then proceeded to call a cab. 

“Harry? Haz? Come on, I’ll take you home,” he urged, shaking him a bit. Harry shook his head, disgruntled. 

“No, don’t wanna move.”

Louis sighed. “Can’t stay here till they close, H. C’mon, we can cuddle at home.”

Harry said nothing, but huffed sufferingly, and Louis took that as a win. 

Of course, getting Harry out of the pub and into the cab when he was sloshed and therefore left with the grace of a baby giraffe learning to walk for the first time meant that it was a whole ordeal on its own. Harry was plastered into his side as he walked them towards the cab, breathing heavily against his neck. Louis nearly tripped over his own two feet at that, but walked steadily with the aim of getting them both home safely.

On the short cab ride home, Harry remained slumped against his shoulder, mumbling incoherently, one hand loosely wrapped around his wrist. Louis was burning at every point of contact, and helplessly, he petted his damp curls, reassuring him. He wasn’t sure if he imagined the kiss pressed against his clothed shoulder, but he didn’t let himself think too much of it; Harry had always been a tactile drunk. 

After several long minutes of struggle and nearly wiping out on the stairs twice, he had gotten Harry into their flat too, pushing at him till he was lying splayed out on the bed. He took a minute to pant, cursing. Stupid Harry and stupid alcohol. 

As much as he wanted to just lay down and sleep so he didn’t have to deal with all the questions and emotions ricocheting in his brain, his heart and omega did not let him leave Harry like that. Sighing defeatedly, Louis made quick work of pulling off his jacket, shoes, socks and jeans, leaving him in his boxers and thin jumper. He covered him up with his heart in his throat, pointedly trying to not let his gaze linger on his legs. 

As he made to leave, hopefully to crash in his own bed and hope sleep would be generous, something stopped him. He turned back, looking at Harry. Who was now gripping a pillow tightly to his chest, curled into it, frown marring his face. Tactile drunk .

He was doing this for Harry , he reasoned weakly, as he stripped down to just a thin t-shirt and boxers as well. So Harry does not have to go to sleep alone and deprived of cuddles . It was a lame excuse even to his ears, but he didn’t care, couldn’t bear to leave Harry’s side, not ever, but not especially today, not after what he’d heard. So he switched the light off, settled into the other side of the bed, and rearranged Harry’s limbs till he was lying close and cuddling him.

Slowly, he watched the lines on Harry’s face smooth out in the dull lamplight, and his breaths turn even and slow. Louis’ heart ached and ached. To know for sure, to let himself believe and bask in what he believed, or to simply just kiss the alpha. He wouldn’t, though. He couldn’t, not yet. 

What if all of it was a mistake, though, and Harry would deny it tomorrow? What if Louis was wrong once again?

A shudder wracked his body, as he desperately tried to hold back tears and effervescent hope. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet . He breathed in Harry’s scent of strong spice, and tightened his arms around his warm body.

For now, though, he could hold Harry and sleep and hope it would be enough to hold his heart together till he could let it rest in the palms of another.

******************************************

For the first few groggy moments as he woke up, Louis was certain that last night was a lingering figment of his dream. Or nightmare. Depended on how you looked at it. While it would be a dream for Harry to actually feel the same for him, the tight knot of anxiety in his chest was enough of a nightmare.

But as he opened his eyes and came face to face with a still-sleeping Harry, and then registered the dryness of his mouth, he had to shake away the wild thought that he had dreamed it up. Still, without a word of confirmation from the alpha, it might as well be a dream.

Louis sighed, trying to keep his nerves at bay, and seized the opportunity to unabashedly stare at Harry’s serene expression, full lips puffing out with each little exhale. The sun's rays that broke through the blinds caressed him, and for one irrational second, he was jealous that he couldn’t do the same. Yet. Yet . 

He only succeeded in reigning in his heartbeat for a few more long moments, because then, Harry was stirring lightly, and he pulled his arm that was around his waist like it was burned. Harry was fluttering his eyes open to the soundtrack of Louis’ steadily pounding heart, which seemed to screech to a halt as familiar, sleep-rimmed greens bore into him, dazed. 

“Louis …” he mumbled, deep and low, burying his face in the pillow for a moment.

Louis exhaled with more calm than he felt. “Hey, you.”

“Hey …”

Harry was slow when he had just woken up, all languid blinks and lazy stretches. The moment was dipped in quiet. Louis let his eyes run over him, assessing. “How do you feel?”

“Mmm,” Harry smacked his lips, frowning. “Not too bad … really thirsty, a bit like I never wanna leave the bed. Feels the way I do after having a wild night out.” The tiny, lazy smirk playing at the corners of his lips was nothing short of disarming, but. Louis was preoccupied.

“Oh, it was something, for sure,” he muttered, noticing the way Harry quirked a brow. “You were absolutely pissed.”

“Oh god,” Harry groaned, voice raspy and thick with sleep, sending a shiver down Louis’ spine, “last thing I remember is downing one too many shots … and then everything is a blur.”

Louis merely hummed non-committally, like dread wasn’t creeping up his veins like slow poison.

Harry, of course, caught it, and a flash of fear struck his face. “… what happened?”

Louis stared at him. “We fucked.”

“No …” Harry uttered in horror, eyes widening comically, “no we didn’t … there’s no way that’s how we-” he broke off, lifting the covers and looking down at themselves, eyebrows climbing further up into his hairline. Louis shouldn’t have taken pleasure in watching him panic, but he was hurt and inexplicably ticked off, and couldn’t blame taking the tiniest ounce of satisfaction in watching Harry flounder. He stayed silent.

“Louis,” Harry said, “please tell me you’re joking.”

Louis took pity on him. “I’m joking.”

Harry breathed out audibly, deflating against the bed. “Fuck, Louis, don’t do that. That’s not funny, why would you joke like that, what the hell.”

Louis shrugged, chewing his lip, feeling his emotions rise in him like a tidal wave. And he wasn’t in the mood to hold them back.

“Why? Is the idea of fucking me that appalling to you, hmm?”

Harry flinched at the iciness in his tone, blinking rapidly. “W-what? No, I- Louis, what’s this about?”

“Do you truly remember nothing that happened yesterday?” 

“I- no Lou, I just … it’s so vague, I’m sorry, why-”

“Of course,” Louis muttered, dejected.

Harry’s frown deepened as his gaze burned where it skimmed. “You’re … mad at me … why are you mad? What did I do?”

Louis kept quiet, throat feeling tight, like his lips were the meagre dam holding back a barrage of fierce and ugly emotion. 

“Louis,” Harry said, quiet, and he hated that he felt himself crumble a little, “what’s wrong?”

“You’re infuriating, y’know?” he asked, clenching his fist. He wasn’t. Louis loved him. 

Harry simply looked at him, stunned, a little like he had been kicked. “I- Louis, just tell me if I’ve done something, please.”

A beat of silence passed. And then,

“Why wouldn’t you talk to me about the omega you love?”

Harry clearly wasn’t expecting the change of topic because he stared at him like he had grown a second head, no words coming out of him for a minute. And when it did, he sounded baffled. “Wha- what does that have to do with this, with anything?”

“Answer the question, Haz.”

“I- I just-”

The vice around Louis’ throat clamped tighter. “It felt like you shut me out and … it hurt so much, for so many reasons …”

“Baby,” Harry whispered, and Louis blinked furiously at the name that slipped out, eyes burning, “I’m so sorry, it’s not like that, I-”

“No!” Louis cut him off loudly, despite his voice wavering mortifyingly. “No. Shut it. You had your chance to speak, now it’s mine.”

He could tell Harry wanted to argue, but he pursed his lips. Louis curled into himself, looking away, because if he looked at the alpha, he’d break. “Do you know … how aggravating it was to watch you seemingly tell everyone but me ?”

Harry at least had the decency to look caught at that. Louis felt like he could throw up with how hard his heart was thudding.

“Do you know how- how much it hurt, to not just watch you be loved up, but to also then feel like you were pulling away from me? We’re-” Louis swallowed, feeling like his strings were plucked raw, “best friends, we’ve always been a team, it’s always been us .”

He wasn’t sure what was worse. The way his words came out choked, or the look Harry had fixed him with. Stupid Harry. Stupid feelings. Stupid stupid stupid . 

“Do you know what it feels like to feel like I’ll always need you way more than you need me?”

A traitorous tear rolled down his cheek as he stared stubbornly ahead, refusing to give it power. That plan crumpled when he felt Harry’s hand come up to gently wipe away the wetness, and then linger.

“That’s not true, Louis, don’t say that,” Harry implored, words jagged round the edges. “You have no idea.”

But Louis did . He did, and that’s why they were here anyway, and Harry was stubborn, and dumb, and probably would never say a word because. Because . And Louis wanted to slap him, because this situation had been excruciating, but he wanted to kiss him more. Wanted to slap him just because he’d have to take matters into his own hands so that he could kiss him. 

“You said I have no idea … and I didn’t, for a long time,” he began, blood roaring in his ears. “I do now, though. I’ve a fair idea now.”

Something flickered in Harry’s eyes, but he masked it well. “What are you talking about?”

Louis wanted to kiss him. As he always did.

“If you’re horrible at keeping secrets when you’re sober … you’re downright atrocious at it when you’re drunk.”

For a second, Harry didn’t crack, and Louis had the horrible, sinking fear that he’d been completely wrong. But then, Harry was paling, eyes alight with panic. It shouldn’t have settled him, but it did, because it told him more than Harry ever had. Save for last night.

“I-” he finally breathed, stunned, “Louis-”

Something in him snapped, and Louis plunged.

“Do you love me?”

Harry gaped at him, fish-mouthing, not a sound escaping him. Louis was sick of keeping it to himself, so fuck it. 

“Because,” he staggered, taking a deep breath, before barrelling on, “I’m in love with you.”

Fuck fuck fuck-

“Even though you’re an idiot and even though I thought that you were in love with someone else, and even though it- it hurt so fucking bad, it hurt so bad , Haz-”

“Oh, omega,” Harry soothed, thumb caressing his jaw, wiping away another half-angry tear, and then going eerily still. “Wait. You’re in love with me?”

“Yes, dickhead,” Louis hissed, exasperated, still reeling from his emotional spiel, “my god, how hungover are you?”

“Not at all,” Harry whispered dazedly, then shaking his head. “You’re in love with me.”

Louis paused, setting aside his ricocheting feelings, and looked at him squarely. “Yes? It’s what I said, innit? Three times now, even.”

The smile that spread across Harry’s lips was slow. Louis couldn’t look away.

“You’re in love with me,” he repeated, sounding giddy, the hand that was on his cheek trailing down to circle around a wrist, and squeeze.

Promptly, Louis lost his breath, but he managed out a, “Yeah, yeah I am. Have been, for a long time.” It was soft, anger dissipating, flowers blooming where the deep wounds had been. Still, it was a fearful question, as he asked. “Are you?”

Harry shook his head like he couldn’t quite wrap his head around what was said. “Yeah…yeah, of course I am, I- you- you love me?”

“Are you feeling okay, Haz?” Louis asked, pressing a palm to his forehead in concern. A different chant looped around his head. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.

Harry let out a strangled laugh. “What? Yeah, I’m fine, I’m more than fine, never been better, actually.”

“Good, because I’m not making that speech again, in case you were feeling completely out of it.”

Harry cradled his face in both his large palms, eyes shining as he gazed at him with an ever-growing smile. “I love you so much.”

A smile that matched Harry’s broke across his own face, heart surging with joy, with relief. “You don’t know how long I’ve dreamed of hearing that,” he whispered, hand covering Harry’s on his face. “You don’t know how long I’ve wished for you to love me back.”

Harry scrunched his nose at him, and Louis wanted to kiss him. 

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

Louis sighed. “I was scared. Preserving our friendship was more important to me, it was worth more than a what if, than a potential something , than a tentative more . I'd rather have you in any capacity at all than not at all. I couldn't risk it. Couldn’t risk losing you.”

Harry’s eyes were brimming with love, and he didn’t know how he never clocked it before. “Darling, you’d never have lost me.”

Louis shrugged. “Didn’t know that for sure. Couldn’t even stand the idea of losing you.” He cleared his throat, hating how vulnerable he sounded. “What about you , huh? Why didn’t you say anything? Took you being drunk off your arse to finally even hint at it?”

There was a glint in Harry’s eyes. “I was terrified you’d punch me and run the other way.”

“Oi!!”

Harry laughed, and Louis smiled despite himself. “No, but. Same as you. Too much to risk, too much to lose. Wanted you so bad, but didn’t wanna fuck things up.”

They both laughed a little, shaky and revealing. Louis couldn’t be mad at him, not when he was the same. He was far too overjoyed to hold on to anything but the knowledge that his feelings were reciprocated anyway. Still-

“Ow, the hell?” Harry yelped, more dramatic than anything, as Louis lightly punched his arm.

“That’s for being annoying and vague and confusing, and breaking my heart.”

Harry pouted at him, but his eyes held genuine regret. Before Louis could smooth over his worry lines, Harry was leaning into his space, burying his head in the crook of his neck like he’d done so many times. Louis’ breath still hitched, as Harry rubbed his nose against his scent gland, tender and loving. 

“I’m sorry, baby,” he mumbled, kissing the spot, and Louis shivered, gripping onto Harry’s bicep tightly. He wanted to kiss him. 

“It’s okay, I-” he struggled, tugging Harry’s head away gently, eyes dropping shamelessly to Harry’s lips, because now he was allowed, “You can make it up to me.”

“Yeah?” Harry asked, and Louis couldn’t look away, not when Harry was this close, not when he was seconds away from everything he’d dreamed of, “how so?”

The rich and spicy scent of Harry swirled around his senses, and for a second he was lost. He met Harry’s gaze, steady and warm, and then his eyes were once again being drawn back to plush lips. He couldn’t think. Why weren’t they kissing? “You uh, you can-”

“Yeah?” Harry urged, and his lips were parted a little, practically an invitation, so why was he still speaking?

“You-”

“Tell me, baby, what can I do?”

Louis frowned, trying to piece words together, but then he noticed the hints of a playful smirk tugging at Harry’s lips, and oh, he was teasing on purpose , the bastard, Louis would- he would-

“Kiss me.”

He had intended for it to be a demand, but it came out drenched in need and something desperate. It pulled a deep groan from Harry, so there was at least that.

“God, I hope I’m not dreaming,” Harry said fervently, before he was much, much closer, and his lips were on Louis’ like an answer.

Relief . It felt like a relief. Like being quenched of a thirst he had long carried, and he still wanted more . Harry’s lips moved against his passionately, all consumingly, and Louis couldn’t breathe with the intensity of it, couldn’t help the hitch in his breath or the way his hands trembled a little as they came up to hold Harry’s face. As the alpha tilted his face up a bit, and the kiss turned a little bruising, Louis couldn’t help the whine clawing up his throat, or scrambling to push closer to Harry like the space between them was offensive. He licked at Harry’s bottom lip eagerly, only for him to pull away a little, leaning his forehead against him.

Which, that was sweet, making his insides feel warm, but it wasn’t what he needed at that moment. He needed more, and he ducked down to kiss Harry again, feeling flushed. Harry indulged him with a chaste peck, pulling back again, and this time, his whine was loud.

“Harry,” he chastised, the single word coming out breathier than he intended. He wound a hand into soft curls, missing the feel of his lips every second they weren’t on him, he needed more -

But Harry was stopping him again with a gentle chuckle. “Slow down, sweetheart,” he murmured, the breath fluttering across his lips, words just a touch cocky. Fuel to the flames currently lighting up beneath his veins. 

Louis pulled back properly to glare at him. “That is the opposite of what we should be doing. What you could be doing. Have we not wasted enough time?”

The lazy grin that curved across Harry’s face was infuriating. He shrugged. “There’s no rush, baby. We’ve got all the time we want ahead of us.”

Louis would’ve believed him, maybe even let it go, but the way Harry’s thumb was drawing circles millimetres away from his scent gland was distracting and driving him insane. That, and the knowing glint in Harry’s eyes simply had to mean that he was doing it on purpose. 

“You literally just said you wanted me like two minutes ago,” he deadpanned. Harry’s grin grew larger.

“Mmm, pretty sure I said that in a more romantic way.”

“Getting your knot in me would be pretty romantic, I say.”

“Patience, baby. Are you really this worked up from a little kissing?”

Louis felt a blush creep up his neck, even as he glared. “Don’t pretend like you don’t want me just as much.”

“Not denying that, darling, but I’m not the one getting worked up from a little kissing,” Harry teased, skittering a hand down Louis’ crotch, where he was beginning to tent slightly. The buck of his hips was entirely involuntary, as he bit back a moan. 

“You say that now,” Louis retorted, pushing at him till he was on his back, and swiftly moving on top of him and straddling his waist, “but it sure wasn’t what you were saying last night.”

Harry’s eyes had widened a fraction for a second when Louis had taken him by surprise by being on top of him, but he quickly settled, looking far too smug about Louis having sat in his lap. Far too pleased about holding him by the waist, looking up at him like he was amusing. Bastard.

“Oh yeah?”

“Oh yes ,” Louis confirmed. “Drunk and in love Harry is apparently a horny Harry.”

For the first time that day, Harry blushed a little, but looked at him dead on. “Lies.”

“Nope.” Louis smirked at him. “If you weren’t so desperate for me, why were you going on about my arse and how much you wanted your hands on it?” he asked, boldly moving Harry’s hands lower down, till they were resting above the swell of his arse. Harry spread his fingers out a little, throwing his head back in a groan.

“I did not.”

“Oh, but you did!” Louis exclaimed gleefully, placing his hands on Harry’s chest, and looking at him through his lashes. “You said you dreamed of kissing me and marking me up.”

Harry’s eyes turned darker as they zeroed in on where he knew his mating spot was. “Can you blame me?”

His low tone further ignited the fire in his belly, and Louis rutted up against him once at the thrum of arousal it sent through him. He groaned, but he wasn’t the only one affected; Harry hissed, hands on his arse tightening. 

“Suppose not,” Louis remarked casually, experimentally moving his hips against Harry, taking pleasure in the way he drew in a breath, “given how possessive you are. Want to make me yours , don’t you? Your words, not mine.”

“Louis,” the alpha warned, but did nothing to stop him. Louis’ eyes fluttered with how good even the slightest of friction felt, and he could feel himself begin to get slick.

Harry probably could tell too, because he watched him sniff the air, lips parting. To have that effect on him was dizzying, and he trailed a teasing hand down his chest as he ground down against him more firmly.

“Harry,” he mimicked, “you’re going to try and tell me that you aren’t dying to get your mouth on me? When you were beyond yourself at the thought of tasting me to ‘see if I taste as good as I smell’? Hmm?”

“Christ-”

“You’ve got me so wet, Harry,” he said, words edging on a whine, hip movements erratic with how good it felt. “How can you resist me when I’m wet and ready for your knot?”

A whispered ‘ fuck ’ left Harry’s lips as he thrust up against him like it was beyond his control. Louis had him so nearly at the edge, so close to snapping-

“Please fuck me, alpha ,” Louis begged in a sultry tone, leaning down and pressing against Harry’s chest, sure it would get him what he wanted, revelling in the shudder that went up Harry’s body-

But then, he was being flipped over unexpectedly, gracefully, making him yelp as he found himself flat on the bed, Harry hovering over him. “Oh you play dirty ,” Harry chastised, grabbing his hands and pinning them above his head at the wrist. Louis’ breath caught in his throat, gazing up at Harry with his heart hammering.

Louis managed to conjure up a smart reply, a witty remark at the tip of his tongue, but it died on his lips as Harry squeezed both his wrists with one hand, looking down at him intensely.

“ Behave , omega.”

Louis keened sharply, feeling his omega fold and yield when addressed. He fell pliant, squirming just a little as Harry’s gaze softened.

“Good omega,” Harry breathed, lips just an inch away from his for a moment, driving him insane, before they were captured once again in a searing kiss. Between Harry’s tongue licking into him insistently and his hands moving down his chest only to ruck his shirt up gracelessly so they were tracing bare skin, Louis found himself panting, desperate as always.

“Off,” he whined when he got a spare moment to breathe, as Harry busied himself sucking wet kisses into the side of his neck. “Please, off.”

“Patience,” Harry muttered, but pulled his jumper off anyway and lingered questioningly just a second before he tugged down his trousers too. His hard cock hit his stomach as it was freed, and he shivered at the sudden coolness hitting his skin. Then shivered harder at the way Harry’s heated gaze ran all over him in all his bareness.

“So gorgeous, baby,” Harry whispered ardently, hands back on him, touching everywhere at once like he couldn’t help himself. “Can you blame me for dreaming about you?”

“Harry,” Louis sighed, gasping as clever fingers rubbed and pinched at his sensitive nipples. “Haz …”

“Nothing beats this, though. Actually having you here, for me to please and take care of,” he continued, slowly kissing down his chest, pausing only to lavish attention on his nipples. Louis arched against him, cock throbbing at the attention. Harry looked up at him, adoration clear in his eyes. “So perfect, so beautiful, so wonderfully responsive.”

An embarrassed blush burst across his cheeks as he threw an arm over his face. “Shut up.”

“No,” Harry said simply, biting the soft muscle of his belly. “You’re just going to have to lie there and take every bit of love and attention I give you.” 

The butterflies in Louis’ stomach fluttered wildly. His cock blurted out precome as Harry’s mouth inched down and hands spread his legs wider. He was shaking with the effort it took to not buck up into thin air in hopes that Harry would just touch him already.

“Look at me, omega.”

Louis couldn’t have ignored that command if he tried. Slowly, he pulled his arm away, meeting Harry’s eyes, trying to not moan at Harry’s rich scent permeating the air around him.

“Do not hold back.”

Louis barely had time to nod, before Harry’s warm hand was wrapping around the base of his cock, as the alpha still kept his eyes fixed on his face. A loud gasp was ripped out of him, turning into a drawn-out whine as the hand moved up around his cock slowly but firmly.

“Harry,” he cried out, fists clenching in the sheets as fingers squeezed and rubbed teasingly at the head, swiping up the wetness, and when Harry’s hand stroked downwards, he was spreading the precome all over his aching cock, making the glide that much smoother and maddening. 

“Could do this all day,” Harry said, pulling him off slowly, and it was good , but not enough, which probably was the point.

“W-what,” Louis tried for unaffected, but his voice cracked, “jerking me off? Better fucking not be that- oh - I need-”

“Not that,” Harry cut him off, making him choke on a moan as he squeezed on the next upstroke, “though, could do that too, get you off nice and slow. I meant, could watch you under me crying out in pleasure all day. You’re a vision like this, baby.”

Louis felt like he couldn’t get enough air into his lungs at the slow tugs sending arousal simmering through him, and at Harry’s intent words. “Only- only like this? Not at other times?”

Harry’s lips lifted in a crooked smirk. “All the time, baby.” He picked up the pace a fraction, but loosened his grip; Louis could kill him. “But especially now, like this, as you beg for my touch.”

“I’m not begging,” Louis bit out, trying to hang onto even a mere semblance of cool, even as his toes were curling at the pleasure rolling over him. 

“Oh, pup,” Harry crooned, with so much affection and smugness it made him light-headed, “we both know that isn’t true.”

“Don’t call me that,” Louis protested weakly, eyes shutting. Behind closed lids, he could feel tears pricking at how good he felt, at how overwhelmed he was getting in the best of his ways.

“What?”

Harry’s strokes remained languid, unhurried, and Louis shuddered viscerally. “ That. ”

Harry was silent for a moment, as if he was racking his brain. Finally, it seemed to click, and he answered by dragging his dull nails down the underside of his cock, before he even spoke. 

“Why not, baby?”

Louis shook his head back and forth. “It makes me-” he tried, to be cut off by his own gasp as Harry twisted his hand at the very top of a stroke.

“It makes you?”

“F-fuck,” Louis moaned, feeling his orgasm approach gradually, and he couldn’t think . “Makes … makes me-”

“Yeah?” Harry encouraged, never stopping with his teasing movements, making Louis throw back his head and moan louder. “Oh? Does it make your dick drip, baby? Is that it?”

“No- n-no-”

“Are you sure ?” Harry asked teasingly, rubbing a thumb across the tip in tight circles, spreading the dribbling precome, and Louis scrunched his eyes tighter in overwhelming pleasure.

“No-” he gritted out, writhing under Harry’s touch, “yes, that too, but-”

“Then what is it, baby?”

“C-can’t … I can’t-”

And then Harry was stopping altogether, grip loose around his aching cock, punching a whine out of him. “Tell me, omega.”

Louis tried to calm his racing heart in vain, resolutely keeping his eyes closed. Harry seemed adamant too, not moving a fraction, leaving him with nothing but fizzing arousal. 

“C’mon, sweetheart,” Harry coaxed, petting his hip tenderly, and Louis sighed, resigned. 

“Makes me feel … small … safe … like I’m … cherished, ” he mumbled. Waiting. Heart beating wildly.

“Oh, pup,” Harry cooed, voice so laced with affection it was undeniable. “You are . You are.”

Louis drew in a ragged breath at both the way the words caressed him, as well as Harry’s hand resuming its tortuous strokes. Harry kissed his hipbone sweetly. “You are so safe, so cherished, and mine .”

“Alpha,” he cried out, unable to take the taunting pulls any more. 

“I,” Harry kissed his stomach, “love”, he kissed the tender skin of his lower belly, “you”, he ended, pressing a biting kiss to his inner thigh. When Louis opened his eyes, his vision was blurred by tears, and he tugged at Harry’s curls lightly to make him look up at him, simply so he could mouth an affected ‘I love you’ back.

Only when he had a breather did Louis notice that Harry was far too dressed still, in sharp contrast to the way he was lying there, spread out, skin glistening with sweat. “You’re still dressed.”

“Good observation baby.”

Louis kicked him in the shin lightly, and Harry caught his ankle easily. “C’mon, Harry.”

“Hmm?”

“I’m not begging you. Get your kit off or so help me god-”

“We’ll see about that,” Harry murmured with a promise, but began to strip nonetheless. Louis watched in rapt, eyes devouring every inch of skin revealed. And when Harry knelt on the bed, completely naked, thick cock curving up, Louis couldn’t be blamed for the way his mouth hung open or for the way his hole clenched pitifully. 

“Talk about a vision,” he blurted out after a beat too long, and Harry chuckled, a little shy around the edges.

“Alright don’t need to woo me, darling, you’ll get my knot even if you have to beg for it,” he said, crawling towards him, waving off the compliment.

“Just stating the truth,” Louis pressed, hand reaching out absently to run up Harry’s toned chest a little dazedly, before he caught the rest of the sentence. “And play nice, alpha,” he added demurely.

“Where would be the fun in that,” Harry shot back, settling between his legs again. His fingers met feverish skin as they trailed down his hip, past his cock, and inched towards his slick entrance. “Gotta ask for what you want, pup.”

Louis grunted in frustration, as Harry traced a feather-light circle around his rim. “I am asking. I’ve been asking for your knot the entire time.”

“Hmm.” The same light touch ghosted over his hole over and over, sending goosebumps rising across his body in its wake. “You’ve been awfully demanding.”

“Because someone- fuck ,” Louis cursed, as Harry rubbed against his wet hole firmly, “decided to take their own sweet time about it.”

“Maybe if you’d asked nicely, I would’ve played nicer.”

“You’re such a-”

“I’m such a-?” Harry mocked, as Louis had stopped mid-sentence to let out a reedy whine when a long finger was pushed into him smoothly, immediately crooking. Louis exhaled shakily, but did his best to glare down at the cocky alpha.

“ Harry. ”

“Yes, omega?”

Louis couldn’t respond for a few minutes; Harry was pushing the finger in and out of him, curving and nudging his spot at every push, making him bite his lip so hard he tasted blood. It felt too good, and still not enough. His omega was seconds away from wanting to present and please the alpha enough to be knotted. 

“C’mon,” he urged hoarsely, crying out when a second finger was pushed in, making him feel that much fuller. “I need it.”

Harry was sat braced on one arm casually, as the other drew little whines and moans from him like it was nothing. A pleased smirk flitted onto his lips. “Say please .”

Louis huffed. “No.”

“Okay,” Harry replied gleefully, and abandoned thrusting his fingers in, only to keep them fully in and rub up against his prostate incessantly in a way that made him breathless. His cock leaked against his stomach, and his body craved a knot like it was starved.

“Har- Harry ,” Louis cried out brokenly, tears in the corners of his eyes. Harry did not relent, but instead met his gaze steadily, heatedly.

“What is it, baby?”

If Louis wasn’t currently clenching down hard onto Harry’s skilled fingers, he would’ve kicked him. “Knot.”

“Say please , baby.”

Louis could probably come like this, untouched and not knotted, but that’s not what he wanted. “Fuck off.” He didn’t even sound as firm as he wanted, and it was undermined by the way he was twitching relentlessly. 

“Say, please fuck me .” The pressure against his spot increased, and Louis could feel an orgasm building, god-

“Fuck you,” he gritted out, trying not to whine. A lazy smirk spread across Harry’s face.

“Close, but not quite. Try again, darling.”

Oh, the little-

“Fuck me,” he gasped, as his release coiled stronger, and desperation took hold of him, he wanted to come on Harry’s knot, he couldn’t not have it now-

“Close, baby. Ask nicely, omega.”

Louis shuddered viscerally. “ Fuck, please, alpha,” he sobbed, so aroused that he was beginning to feel spacey. “Fuck me, please.”

“Good pup,” Harry praised sweetly, pulling his fingers out swiftly. Louis barely got to complain at the emptiness, before Harry was pushing closer, hand hitching a thigh around his hip as he slowly pushed his cock in. 

Louis felt like he didn’t breathe the entire time it took for Harry to push in, far too slowly for his liking. He felt every vein, every drag, the stretch and feel of it so mind-numbingly good. Only when Harry finally bottomed out, hips flush against his arse, did Louis suck in a breath greedily, feeling a little light-headed. 

“Oh my god,” he rasped out, clutching onto Harry’s biceps tightly, “‘m not gonna- won’t be very-”

“Jesus Christ,” Harry groaned, surging up to kiss him feverishly, “the way you feel , darling.”

Louis keened high in his throat as Harry began to move in little thrusts. “I’m not gonna last long.”

Harry finally, finally looked as affected as he did, scent betraying just how aroused he was. “Neither will I.”

“So harder, please, more,” he begged quietly, gazing at Harry imploringly, and whatever thin string of restraint Harry had held to seemed to snap, because he was snapping his hips, fucking his thick cock into him at a quick and powerful pace.

Louis could’ve cried at finally being filled and fucked into the way he wanted. As it was, he was left to incoherently mumble in between cries as he was jostled about with the way Harry was bucking into him. Rather belatedly, he realized he in fact was crying, mostly only because Harry was wiping them away tenderly.

“So good to me, baby,” Harry praised hoarsely, moving Louis’ legs so they were wrapped around him, shifting the angle slightly, “so perfect, so lovely like this.”

“Harry,” Louis cried, overwhelmed, the new angle making sure that his prostate was being hit dead on with every thrust. “Want your- want your knot!”

“I know baby, I know,” Harry placated, a finger tracing across his lips, cock never letting up. Louis sucked the tip of his finger into his mouth, moaning around it instead, burning up under Harry’s darkened gaze. “Gonna give it to you, gonna give you everything.”

Louis could feel white-hot pleasure coil tightly, building and building with each snap of hips and each searing kiss Harry was pressing onto wherever he could reach. He was sure he was hurting Harry with how hard his nails were digging into his shoulders, but the alpha didn’t seem to care, lost in his own pleasure and the focus on getting Louis to the edge.

“Wanna come,” Louis babbled, his own hips meeting Harry’s thrusts, arching obscenely. 

In sharp contrast to the power with which his cock was grinding in, Harry caressed the side of his neck achingly soft. “Come on, darling, wanna- wanna see you fall apart.”

“Fuck, want your knot first, please, ‘m so close …”

“God, omega,” Harry groaned, and Louis could feel the base of his cock beginning to flare. “Could never resist you, don’t know how I even did it for so long.”

Louis writhed at the feeling of being full, body accommodating to fit Harry’s swelling cock. “I love you,” he said on a choked-out sob.

“I adore you, omega.”

Louis only half registered Harry’s knot popping as it gave one last push and locked in deep, before he was coming with a shout of ‘alpha’. Waves of pleasure crashed over him, making him arch as he came untouched, spurts of white splattering across his chest. His lungs were burning, and for a while, all he could feel was intense pleasure, and the satisfying feeling of Harry’s come filling him up, knot locking them together. His omega preened. 

When he recovered slightly, Harry’s head was buried into his neck, where he was busy kitten-licking at his scent gland in a protective and soothing manner. Louis wrapped his arms around his neck in exhaustion, a dopey smile taking over his face at the utter satiety that wrapped around him. Harry was still heaving big breaths against him, keeping him covered and safe. 

“Alpha,” he called out, a bliss like he’d never felt before filling him up from the inside. He twirled a curl around his finger, smiling at the way Harry nuzzled into the touch. He was happy. So, so happy. 

“Omega,” Harry rumbled, kissing his neck, reflecting the same bliss back at him. He never thought he would have this. 

“You adore me?” he asked, half teasing, half in disbelief. Just last night, he was crying over the same alpha that was now draped over him like a human blanket.

“More than anything else in the world,” Harry affirmed.

Louis’ heart soared and soared, and for once, he wasn’t anticipating an inevitable crash.

***************

“What are you thinking about?”

Harry’s soft question came a long while later, as they lay cuddled close under the covers, Louis happily using his chest as a pillow. The rise and fall of his chest with each breath was comforting, nearly lulling him to sleep.

“Thinking about how much time we wasted.”

“Hmm?”

Louis traced mindless little patterns on the soft skin. “We could’ve skipped so much pain and stress if we both weren’t dumb.”

Harry’s quiet chuckles reverberated against his face, making him smile. “Maybe. But I like to think we’d have found our way here somehow, regardless, no matter when.”

“Oh you are awful, that is so soppy.”

Harry pinched his side, making him squeal. “It’s true though. The only reason neither one of us made a move first is because we both treasured our friendship way too much to risk it. You and what I had with you was that important to me.”

“Same with me, love,” Louis sighed. “Couldn’t imagine accidentally pushing you away or losing you, so.”

“Don’t think you’d have lost me, baby.”

“No?”

“No,” Harry echoed. “It’s been you and me always. I’ve always been drawn to you. I’d come wherever you want me to come.”

Louis smiled privately at the sincere words, but poked Harry’s ribs. “Kinky.”

Harry swatted at his bum for his cheek. “That’s enough out of you, little love. You know what I meant.”

“Uh-huh. You’re willing to come on whatever part of me I wish you to come on.”

“Let me rephrase!” Harry said loudly, interrupting him, and making him giggle. “I’d go wherever you wanna go. I’m all yours, baby.”

Louis closed his eyes, heart settling. If he listened closely, he could make out Harry’s heartbeat, calm and steady. 

“Lucky for you, you’re exactly where I want you to be.”