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“What is it this time?” Chenle opens the door to his apartment wider, letting Renjun in. He’s shivering, his clothes wet and his hair is sticking to his forehead. Chenle immediately gets a towel and gives it to him.
Renjun doesn’t answer, choosing to go inside Chenle’s room to change instead.
Chenle stares after him and when the door to his room closes, he stares at the puddle that Renjun left behind instead. He takes a rug and runs it over the mess.
The older man comes out of his room, running a towel through his hair. He’s wearing Chenle’s clothes even though he’s practically drowning in them.
“You’re out of the body lotion that smells incredible by the way.” He says as a way of greeting, sitting down on the couch like he owns the place. He raises a questioning brow at Chenle when he remains standing, making no move to sit down. “Are you just going to stand there all night? My hair’s not going to dry itself, you know?”
“What makes you think I’d want to dry it for you?” Chenle says but the way he’s walking closer to the couch with a sigh opposes his words.
Renjun grins. “I just know you would.” He closes his eyes and leans back as Chenle sits down behind him and massages the towel in his hair. “You always take care of me.”
“Someday, I’m not going to be there to help you out or pick up your calls and you’d be left to do doing things on your own.”
“Won’t happen,” Renjun says. “You love me too much to ignore me.”
That’s the problem, Chenle thinks. He thinks about how he’s toweling dry someone’s hair at 3 a.m. when he should be sleeping but he knows he doesn’t have anywhere else he’d rather be in anyway. Not even the temptation of his soft bed and Daegal sleeping next to him can pry him out of his comfortable spot next to where Renjun is leaning up against him.
“Why are you out here so late anyway? You couldn’t even wait for the sun to rise before you came here? You didn’t even bother with an umbrella.” Chenle admonished him, carelessly throwing the towel to the side when he deems his hair dry enough.
Renjun turns to him and forces his way under Chenle’s arms until his head is tucked beneath his chin. “I missed you, is all.”
Chenle snorts, tugging on Renjun’s hair for a second. “You ran under the rain at 3 a.m because you missed me? Yeah, no one’s gonna believe that.”
“Is that so unbelievable?”
“Renjun, you haven’t talked to me for weeks,” Chenle states, looking down at him. Renjun doesn’t glance up, resolutely pressing his face on Chenle’s neck. “The last time we talked, it was because you wanted to borrow Daegal and take her for a walk, not even to hang out with me or anything.”
“Aw,” Renjun suddenly pulls back, a grin wide on his face. His smile doesn’t match the way his eyes are red-rimmed and tired but Chenle chooses to keep that observation to himself. “Are you sulking? Did you miss me?”
“No. Had the best few weeks of my life actually. Quite peaceful.”
Renjun hits his chest. Chenle tries not to wince. Someone as small as Renjun really shouldn’t hit as hard as he does. “Why can’t you just admit that you missed me?”
“You wish.” Chenle tucks him back to his chest, head rolling until he’s resting them on the sofa. “Daegal misses you a lot though. Wondered when you’d come here again.”
Renjun hums and although he can’t see him, Chenle can hear the smile on his face as he says, “Well, you better tell Daegal that I missed her a lot too. And because I haven’t seen her in so long, maybe she should cook something for me too.”
Chenle scoffs, face flushing from being caught red-handed in using his pet to admit he’d missed him. Nothing really ever gets past Renjun.
Except for some things.
“How have you been?” he asks instead.
Renjun snorts. “How have you been? That’s the best small talk you can do?”
“What do you want me to say then? You won’t even tell me why you came running here, how am I supposed to know what to talk about?”
“We don’t need to talk, idiot.” Renjun takes Chenle’s hands and places it on his waist. “Your presence is enough.”
And really, Chenle shouldn’t get too happy hearing that. He should not be feeling so pleased and yet he is anyway. He pats Renjun’s head in one hand and tightens his grip on the one on his waist.
They don’t talk for a while, choosing to listen to the quiet pitter-patter of the rain against the window. Chenle feels his arms going numb but he doesn’t complain, doesn’t dare to move even just a finger in fear of dislodging Renjun from his hold. He can feel his eyes growing tired now, his body screaming at him to go back to the interrupted slumber he was in earlier before Renjun decided to knock like a madman on his door.
He has the passcode and can just enter his apartment but he always chooses to knock, never ever choosing to enter the place on his own—not since he entered the apartment and walked in on Chenle balls deep in Jeno anyway.
Jeno and Chenle had never fucked again after that, despite previously having a convenient arrangement. Chenle did not bother asking him as to why.
He’s almost dozing off when he hears a sniff. It’s barely audible and Chenle would not have noticed it if it were someone else but it’s Renjun and he’d always been extremely attuned to everything in relation to Renjun.
He does not say anything. Instead, he brushes his hands over Renjun’s hair, combing through them mindlessly as he listens to him sob. He doesn’t ask him what’s wrong. Doesn’t need to. He’s got an idea of what the answer might be anyway.
“This one was stupid,” Renjun croaks out after a long period of silence between them. He wipes his face with the hoodie he’s wearing. It’s a little big on him but it suits him. Everything suits him. “It started because I wouldn’t be able to go with him to Barcelona.”
“Jaemin is going to Barcelona?”
Renjun nods. His nose is red and tears are clinging to his eyelashes and although the sight breaks Chenle’s heart, he can’t help but admire how beautiful he looks too. “He needs to go for a job. It’s this really massive exhibit and he’s invited. We were planning to go so the job was just another convenient excuse. But I can’t go with him this time because of a conflict in schedule.” His face crumples down again. A sob tears through the otherwise silent room.
“What could be more important than Jaemin’s exhibit?” Chenle asks, tucking a strand of Renjun’s hair behind his ears.
“Your birthday, idiot.” He stares at Chenle with tear-stained cheeks, face flushed with snot running down his nose. “The event is going to be next week but your birthday is going to be next week too. I can’t leave the country at that time.”
Chenle ignores the sudden elation bursting into his chest. He tamps down the hope that blooms and stomps on it before Renjun can stomp on it for him.
“You can go, I don’t mind.” He offers. “Plus, I’ll have another birthday next year anyway but Jaemin’s exhibition is probably going to be a one-time thing.”
When Renjun says nothing, he continues, “You should go.”
Chenle disregards the voice in his head telling him to take those words back. Feeling this much for Renjun is selfish enough as it is. He doesn’t need to add on to his sins.
“But I want to stay,” Renjun says after a long while, voice dejected and strained. “I want to stay for your birthday. I want to stay for all of your birthdays.”
“And you have stayed for all of my birthdays so far. And I appreciate it a lot. But it’s okay if you miss some too. We can just go out and celebrate after you come back.”
“But I promised you—”
“I know what you promised, Renjun.” Two kids hooking their pinky fingers together and promising to never miss each other’s birthdays flash into his mind. “But I’m sure you promised Jaemin something too. And I’m fine if you let go of mine this time to fulfill his first.”
Renjun sniffs, eyes still trained on Chenle. His face has become puffy, cheeks becoming bloated from all the crying that he’s done. “Should I call him?”
“He’s probably waiting and worried sick for you right now.”
Renjun nods and stands up, taking his phone and going into Chenle’s room for some privacy.
Chenle stares after him as the door closes. He’s almost used to the pang on his chest by now. It used to be much worse, the pain stabbing and sharp, but the feeling has dulled down over the years. Chenle’s used to it now. He doesn’t mind being a backburner. He knows he should but he doesn’t.
He’s used to it now and it has kept him beside Renjun for this long so, no, he doesn’t really mind.