Chapter Text
"Help me. Please" red eyes beseeched the other "I need you to use that tadpole to show me the scars"
"No" Vany's voice cracked as he watched the rage form on Astarion's face.
"NO? what do you mean no?!" Fangs bared "I thought you loved me"
"That's not fair, I'm not helping you become him" the half elf tried to breathe but his lungs didn't want to cooperate "I want you to live a life you're proud of! You can be better than this"
"Better?! Where were you before? You dare come to me now, when I am this!" Rage fully set in as he raised the dagger towards the other "Why did you come now?"
"Because you asked" Vany took a tentative step closer "because I want you to be happy"
"Vany don't get too close" he heard Shadowheart's soft warning, caught sight of her worry and Karlach's hands on her sword.
"Oh yes don't get too close to me, I'm a monster that much you've made clear! I'm quite happy with or without you love" poison dripped from the words.
"Happy? This wretched child?" Cazador cackled, blood misting from his mouth, awful wheeze as he tried to speak through shattered ribs "no he's too far gone, he'll sooner tear you limb from limb than let you touch him. Look, see what I made him? Beautiful isn't it?"
Vany felt his blood boil at those words, watched as a feral grin split Astarion's face.
"I am not what you made me" the vampire growled "I'm so much more"
"Astarion?" Orange and glass eye never leaving his face "Little Star?"
Vany flinched as Astarion turned towards him, felt like the other was cataloguing every part of him through clothing, could see something springing to life in his head that made dread pool in his stomach. In a second Vany watched as red eyes widened and disgust fell across the vampire's face as he forcibly turned himself back towards his master.
"You're right" Astarion sighed "I can be better than him. But I'm not above enjoying this"
The vampire lunged at Cazador, screams echoing as he tore flesh from bones, viscera from cavity and teeth from jaw. Dropping to his knees and letting out centuries of torture.
He felt empty, sat silent as the last gurgled ounce of life fell from Cazador's lips, watched his eyes turn glassy, focus being lost and staring out into infinity. Felt the blood and viscera begin to go tacky across his skin before a new ooze or spirt hit him and the mess become liquid again.
He barely heard footsteps come closer, clacking of boot heels across stone morphing into something that oddly reminded him of last calls at pubs, floor sticky with drinks and expelled fluids.
"Astarion, can you hear me?"
And like a bucket of water being dumped over his head, the universe came back into focus with enough force to have him retching, his body forgetting that he had no stomach contents to throw up, instead doubling over and dry heaving.
He heard every heartbeat from his living companions and every footfall of those that remained, heard someone, Shadowheart? Address his siblings, asking what the hells would be done now.
"Love? Can I touch you?"
That's a voice he knew instantly, he looked up through blood soaked hair to see orange and glass looking down at him.
"Vany?" Gods he didn't even recognise his own voice, horse and painful each time he spoke, he tasted blood in the back of his throat, something tore while he screamed evidently.
"Yeah, it's me" Vany's voice softened as he kneeled down in front of the vampire, knees landing in what he thought was an intestine. "Is it alright if I touch you?"
He tried to swallow the lump in his throat, say yes, tell the other he could, but nothing came out except a harsh breath. So he nodded, shut his eyes to stop the nausea and hoped it would count as an answer.
Astarion felt hands take his, gently pushing the dagger from one and loosely gripping his wrist. The vampire instantly had the other's hands in a vice grip, it must hurt. He saw nails beginning to draw blood but the other just rubbed a small circle into his flesh.
"I'm going to stand us up"
He went, squeezed his eyes shut as the ground grew further away. He took a deep breath before looking the half elf in the eye.
"Astarion, what do you want to do?"
Astarion looked around, returning bit by bit to his body. His eyes landed on Cazador's staff, he could still salvage some part of this mess.
Vany held him steady as he lent down, holding the item that caused so much torment was surreal, his brain decided to fully come back online with the word 'Sebastian'. That sent another wave of nausea through him, he shook off Vany's hold turning to face his siblings.
"You did it" Dalyria was staring at him in shock, torso bare and covered in blood from hip to clavicle "What-Astarion what happens now?"
That was a good question. He could kill them all, save the gate from a swarm of feral spawn taking their chance at freedom with it, or....he slammed the staff down onto the blood soaked stone, a shockwave of magic hitting everyone in the chamber.
In a second the cavern filled with cries of freedom from spawn as bodies began to appear in doorways, thousands of voices hit his ears as his brothers and sisters looked on.
"Take them to the Underdark. Teach them how to survive and if one sets foot outside it's killed on sight"
"What will you do?" Pale petras asked as he began to round up the spawn emerging into the chamber, hand darting out to quickly grab the scruff of one child as they lunged towards Karlach.
"Someone has to save these idiots from that cult" Astarion felt a pinky hook onto his "And, more pressing, I need a bath"
His 'brother' gave a curt nod before ushering the growing number of spawn through the chamber. Astarion watched as faces he recognised past him, ones he kissed, ones he lured with nothing but a promise, the majority who he plied with drink and sex until they were insensible. He felt that pinky tighten its grip, his entire body locked up as eyes caught his.
"Sebastian"
"Astarion, you kept your promise" Sebastian smiled, hollow and only to placate the other.
"I did no such thing, whatever is next for you is better than anything I could offer I'm afraid" Astarion gripped Vany's hand fully, the vice grip back and turning tan knuckles pale.
"Ah" Sebastian looked between the two, eyes taking on a distance that soon turned to malice, pointing a finger directly at Vany "keep him at arm's length. Lest you end up like us"
Vany saw red, patron's voice picking up volume urging violence and blood. He tore his eye from the retreating figure, taking in the hunched shoulders and hollow look the other now held.
"I don't want to be here anymore" was the only thing that managed to get past his fangs, he wanted to rage, wanted to tear his hair out, wanted to have Vany lock him back in that tomb for penance make it 7000 years for his sins.
"Let's get the fuck outta here soldier" Karlach stood firm at the head blocking eyes from the two as Shadowheart kept at the rear.
Freedom wasn't as quick as he would like, figures blocked the elevator up. Asterion bristled.
"Gur" he had hands on daggers as the three stood between the hunters and him.
Ulma was far easier to talk down than he expected, turns out three vouching for him and his honest answer about their children bought him an exit, not safe and definitely not with a smile but it was better than the outcome he anticipated.
"I think we've earned a night in comfort don't you?" Vany tried to lighten the mood, gods bless that dense man "brothel or flophouse?"
"Somewhere with a bath and lots of booze preferably" Karlach said with a strained smile "and a comfy bed"
"We should tell the others, take rooms at the nearest Inn and rest" Shadowheart tried to wipe the blood from her silver hair but only served to turn it slightly pink "here is good enough"
"Hold on before we get the fist called on us, Astarion I'm going to cast a spell on you, just prestidigitation to get the blood off. Is that okay?" Vany gently asked, option to say no not outright stated but clearly there.
"Of course love, anything to get this mess off me"
A few quick spells and they were less bloody, bruised and haunted respectively but less likely to be accosted by the guards.
"Rooms each or are we having a sleepover" Karlach asked as she held the door open for them.
"Two rooms I think. I don't know if I can sleep alone after...that" Shadowheart looked at the two men, locking gaze with the half elf the unspoken 'and Astarion needs space' hung between them.
Karlach tossed the key to Vany with directions that they'd be in the room furthest from the stairs.
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The room was small, bed in the centre with a tub opposite and a small table with two stools next to the door. Candles lighting with a soft word as the warlock held the door open for Astarion to enter.
The vampire immediately closed the heavy curtains, trying to discreetly check corners for a tormenter who lay dead. Vany watched as the other took a deep breath before dropping to the floor, shoulders shaking.
"Astarion? Are you, well alright is a bad choice of words I guess" he kneeled down next to him, up close he saw the borderline manic grin, shoulders shaking with laughter.
"I need a bath desperately" the vampire said after a few moments "one that I absolutely have earned"
"Do you want some help-"
"Help? With what exactly?"
Vany could see the smile was cracking, the corner of his mouth dropping for a split second. Eyes fearful and mind already racing to the worst possible conclusion.
"Not like that, not until you say it's okay" Vany took a step towards him "I was about to ask if you want help cleaning your clothes while you bathed"
"Oh. Of course you were" Astarion deflated slightly, still on edge but not because of the other "apologies darling, it's been a bit of a day. But yes, that would be lovely"
Vany turned away allowing the other visible privacy, the vampire carefully folded each garment as he placed them on on the bed before sinking down into the tub.
"You are allowed to look you know" playful tone managing to creep back into his voice "you've seen me naked before"
"That was under different circumstances. And after everything it didn't feel right" Vany pulled a stool across to the edge of the tub, picking up the blouse and scrubbing the grime from the white fabric "are you hungry?"
"Not now, I've oddly had enough blood for the moment" Astarion rested his head on the lip, watching as the half elf scrubbed "you poke your tongue out when you're concentrating, it's rather cute"
"Not so much in battle, my teachers would scold me for the uh...the lack of proper technique" Vany chuckled as he held the shirt out towards the vampire " this can get rinsed"
"You're not joining me?"
"Is that what you want?"
Astarion was silent for a moment, did he want that? "No, not yet. I'm sorry"
"You don't have to apologise for saying no" Vany gave leather pants a quick wipe before drying them and refolding the garment "I'll never be mad about that"
"Hmmm, maybe I believe you. Careful, that embroidery took a while" Astarion said as the other picked up his underwear, saw him chuckle at the words like he'd done every time he saw them "What would you have done if I went through with it?"
"I don't know" Vany gently took the other’s hand "what if you turned on us all? When you looked at me I thought you'd run the dagger through me. But if it all went well I think I'd still want you to be happy whatever that would look like. I wouldn't be your play thing, if you turned into a monster I'd treat you as such"
"I do appreciate the honesty, however brutal it may be" he ran bath warmed fingers across knuckles "It felt... exhilarating, having that power in my grips. But I saw you. That pull told me to make you mine, not an equal but.."
"A pet"
"Barely a person, I thought about it" Astarion grimaced. "Thought that if I did it, you'd let me, turn you into a spawn that is. But it felt like I'd never see you as anything except someone who disgraced themselves for me"
"Your accessory?" Vany kept his face neutral, worst case scenario being confirmed.
"Worse I'm afraid, for a moment I knew how I'd do it. I'd take you at camp, make it loud enough that Halsin wouldn't be able to block it out, nothing would make me stop" another grimace "have you tell me you'd be mine and mine only, tell you to get on your knees and-" the vampire took a harsh breath, disgust clear on his face " after that, you'd be my trophy, I'd see you how he saw me, and if I saw you like that how long until I began to punish you for not being an object..."
"Astarion" Vany gave his hand a slight squeeze "the fact you chose not to, that's a fucking huge check in your pro collum"
"What are the cons?" Asterion grinned at him "too handsome? Too good of a lay? Too charitable?"
"Egomaniac, bit me in his trance. Twice. Thinks he's a good lay, handsome and charitable"
"Oh? Who else have you been comparing me to? We can't all have a certain Druids natural advantages" that got an actual laugh "but really egomaniac? I can do much better than a mere egomaniac"
"Gods help us if you find out how"
"oh not even they'll be able to help. Now, do your little trick and dry this for me because I have something to show you."
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The graveyard was quiet, rustling of leaves and night bugs as well as the soft singing of Mortachs from the temple were the only signs of life as they moved towards an older section of the grounds. The headstones here were overgrown with ivy and creeping flowers. It was peaceful, a tranquil place within the city walls was rare.
Astarion led him to one of the headstones, lush ivy obscuring the letters, Vany watched as he gently pushed the foliage away with care before leaning back.
"Nearly two hundred years and I never came back. Not since the night I woke up down there. I had to punch a hole in the coffin and claw my way through six feet of dirt. Then when I finally broke the surface, retching up dirt and congealed blood, Cazador was waiting" the vampire didn't look away from the stone "It's odd being back here now"
Vany read the name etched in the stone "Astarion Ancunin"
"It sounds nice coming out of your mouth" he gestured to the space next to him
"Do you want to be him again?" Vany gently laid his hand over the others "take your full name back?"
"No. He's been dead, doesn't deserve to be awoken to the mess made of his body" the vampire said quietly "he locked me in a tomb to starve for a year you know? There was a sweet young man, you remind me of him sometimes; I couldn't bring him back to Cazador so I ran. I can still feel my hands torn open after months of trying to claw my way out, then nothing, not even movement. After everything, being his for centuries, I don't know how much of that man is left"
"you weren't really his, he took everything through force"
"But he did take" Astarion's voice cracked at the last word.
"Is it too late to kill him again? I've got a scroll"
"I appreciate the offer, it would be cathartic but..." Astarion shook his head "I need to figure out who I am now, what I want"
"What do you want?"
"You. I want you" Astarion pulled him gently down so they sat facing one another "You were there through everything, bloodlust, pain, misery. You cared, trusted me when that was an absolutely stupid thing to do"
"Stupid things are my speciality, remember the shack with the ogre?"
"I'm trying to be serious here," the vampire laughed "no more distractions from you."
Vany gave a quick nod before the other continued
"I feel safe with you. Seen. I don't want to lose that"
"you won't"
"I know. I should fix this"
Vany watched as he carved a new date on the stone, quickly gathering a handful of flowers before placing them on the ground in front of the grave.
"Cute" Astarion chuckled "now the hard part"
"Hard part?" Vany felt a pit open in his stomach, was this it? End of the line for them? "Astarion? If it's something I did we can-I can fix it"
"What are you talking about?" A flash of recognition "oh my sweet no, I'm not here to end things. I admit that was rather ominous sounding but come here"
Vany took the offered hand, orange and glass eye not quite making contact.
"You know, I didn't care for you when we first met"
"And here I thought the knife at my throat was just how you said hello"
"Vany" Astarion tried to sound firm but his smile gave it away "I've been dead in the ground long enough. It's time to start living, with everything life has to offer"
"And what is on offer?" Vany asked with a smile
"Well...if a night of passion was to be, I could be persuaded" pale fingers dusted knuckles "being with you it's about more than lust or manipulation. I love you. I want it all"
"I love you too, Astarion, my little star"
Vany let himself be pulled into a kiss, soft at first but hands soon pushed him down back hitting gave dirt and flowers, vampire climbing onto his lap and deepening the kiss.
"Wait" Vany said between gasps of air "on your grave? Really? That's a bit cliche"
"Oh? I'm being lectured by a fiendish warlock in black, who uses fire about cliches?" Astarion rolled his hips "but we can take this somewhere more-"
A cough made the two turn, a pale Tiefling in Kelemvorite robes stood with arms crossed, tail swishing behind them.
"A graveyard is no place for this form of consecration" the Mortach raised their lantern "go before a Doomguide sees you"