Work Text:
September 2022, Seoul Red Cross Hospital
“Can you spell your name for me?” The doctor said, looking at Minho with non judgemental eyes, maintaining her professional composure.
Minho was sitting, cross legged on the hospital bed. The room was a terrible beige color, and his sheets were a pale blue. Minho shook his head, looking down at the red hospital bracelet on his bony wrist. The doctor nodded and said, “Do you know how you got here?”
Minho turned his head away, looking out the doorway. His room didn’t have a door, there was a guard and he was within eyesight of the nurses station. The doctor nodded, “That’s okay. We can talk later, if you’d like. I’m doing an assessment to determine your cognition. Why don’t we focus on your breathing? Can you take a deep breath for me?”
Minho pressed his lips together, then pinched his nose, eyes glaring forward. The doctor nodded, her face still neutral. “I’m going to take that as a sign that you are listening and understanding, but choosing not to answer. That’s good.”
Minho looked at her, eyes still angry, dropping his hand. His eyes flickered to her name tag. Dr. Choi. She tried again. “I can talk. You were admitted three days ago with an intentional overdose of benzodiazepine and alcohol. We administered Flumazenil. You began to breathe on your own after a day, and woke up this morning. We are going to do another tox screen to ensure that your system is clear of everything. Can you tell me-”
“L. E. E. M. I. N. H. O.” Minho said, voice raw and scratchy, “When can I go home?”
“Thank you, Minho-nim. I am Doctor Choi.” She said, smiling at the answer.
Minho sighed and said, “I… I don’t know how I got here.”
He began to cough and the doctor handed him some water. Minho reached but his hands were trembling too hard to hold the cup. Dr. Choi brought it to his mouth. Minho turned away, then said, “I remember… I remember Han.”
“Who is Han?” she patiently asked.
“Han is…” Minho trailed off, shutting his eyes. He was overwhelmed with a flood of worthlessness.
The doctor nodded, then said, voice still calm and methodical. “Do you know what year it is?”
“2022.” Minho said, dropping his head. He could feel his eyes beginning to burn. He’d failed.
“Can you tell me if your body hurts?” She said, “Starting with your head.”
Minho gently scratched the side of his head and said, “I… headache. And… I want to throw up. My throat is burning. Why is my throat burning?”
“The breathing tube is pretty harsh on the esophagus.” Dr. Choi answered, “and the other symptoms are normal for someone with your condition. Do you have thoughts or intentions to end your life right now?”
Minho blinked at the abrupt question and he nodded. Dr. Choi nodded in return and said, “You are on 24 hour observation, Minho-nim, for the time being. We have a psychiatrist coming tomorrow morning to do a full screen and assessment. The nurse will be in shortly to draw blood. You haven’t touched your meal.”
“Can you go away?” Minho said, his voice defeated.
Dr. Choi nodded and said, “I can. I will return to discuss next options after the blood work is done. Visiting hours are 8 am to noon, then 6 PM to 9 PM. Try to sleep, best you can. You’re lucky to be alive.”
“Fuck you.” Minho whispered, then turned away from the doctor.
Dr. Choi took her cue and walked out of the room. Minho watched as she handed her notes to the nursing station then walked away. He felt comforted for only a moment by the solitude before fear began to spike. Did he really want to be dead? Was he going to ever dance again? Sing? Did he ruin his life? Was he stuck here forever? He searched the room, realizing that it was empty of cords, sharp edges, and the window was unable to open. Was there no way to finish the job? Minho shut his eyes, the tears beginning. He felt the room spin and he felt tremors in his legs and hands. Minho mentally berated himself. Instead of asking what was going on, he’d instead told off the doctor. Now he was alone and he couldn’t figure out what was going on.
Minho flipped in the bed, annoyed by the wires that were monitoring his heart. There was a television playing a game show of some type in silence. Everything was too pale, and the bed was scratchy. He began crying harder. His muscles ached. Everything about his body hurt. He coughed some more, still feeling as if the tube was down his throat. He’d never felt lower than this moment.
He tried to sleep, knowing he was exhausted, but he couldn’t get his thoughts and feelings to stop. The lights were too bright. He heard footsteps from behind him and he croaked out, “Don’t touch me!”
“Okay, I won’t.” Chan’s voice said from behind him.
Minho covered his face as he heard a chair being pulled over. Chan cleared his throat and said, “it’s okay, Minho. Everything is going to be okay.”
“I shouldn’t be here.” Minho said, sniffing and coughing through his tears.
“You definitely should be. Please… can I hold you?” Chan’s voice was breaking Minho’s heart again.
Minho gripped harder onto his face, trying to curl up tighter. He felt Chan’s warm hands gently pulling his shaking hands down, then covering them. Chan was shushing him, and then holding him. Minho sobbed, thinking that he would never be able to stop. He sucked in breath after breath, then finally began to settle, hiccupping. Minho was limp, but still weakly gripping to Chan. “Sweet Minho…” Chan whispered, “you survived. You survived and that’s a good thing. You can’t leave us. You’re so loved.”
Minho shook his head and whispered, “I should be dead.”
“No. You were meant to be alive.” Chan said, “And I will tell you every day. You are loved. You are so good. You deserve to live.”
Minho pressed his face into Chan’s chest, hiding. Chan continued to rub his back, noting how thin the other man had gotten. He felt Chan kiss the top of his head and continue, “We’re going to get you better. Whatever you’re feeling right now will pass. I promise. We’re going to get you the care that you deserve. You just have to take things bit by bit, okay? For right now, you just have to rest and do as the doctors say. We’ll deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. Okay?”
Minho was shaking again but he nodded. He cleared his throat then asked, “I can’t… I just remember taking them… and then Han’s eyes. I just see his eyes… is Han okay?”
Chan froze for a second, unsure how to respond and Minho began shaking his head. “Is he okay?!” He said, panicking and growing hysterical.
Chan shushed him and nodded, trying to rock Minho but he pushed Chan away. “Where is he? Where’s Han? Is he safe?”
Looking towards the nursing station, then back at Minho, Chan said, “Hannie will be okay. He’s with Hyunjin and Changbin right now.”
Minho shook his head, “Is he hurt? Is he mad? Does he hate me?”
Chan’s face softened, “No. No, he could never hate you. He’s just sad right now and upset. He… he found you, Minho. He saved you and stayed with you all night and all day until I made him go home.”
Minho nodded, “Tell him I’m sorry. Please… whatever happens to me. I don’t even know what’s happening to me, but I know he needs to be okay.”
“Minho,” Chan said, voice touched with a bit of authority, “You need to focus on yourself right now and just listen to the doctors. We have Hannie. You focus on getting better.”
Minho’s eyes widened. He read between the lines. Han didn’t want to see him. He’d hurt Han irreparably. Minho shrunk back in horror and covered his mouth. He could feel his stomach flipping again and he gagged. Chan’s face fell and he tried to pull Minho to him again but Minho scrambled back. Chan stopped and said, “I can’t lie. Han is in a bad place. He thinks it is his fault. I wanted to hold that back for a bit, but you need to know. This… this hurt us all, Minho. I know it's not your fault though.”
Minho looked at Chan flabbergasted at the statement. “Of course it's my fault. I did it. I killed myself.”
“But you didn’t!” Chan said, voice cracking. He cleared his throat and continued, “You didn’t die. You’re alive. You’re going to stay alive, dammit. Han hasn’t slept since you got here! You’re sick, Minho. You’re so sick. You need to get better.”
Minho looked at him, eyes wide, unable to speak anymore. Chan rubbed his face and said, “this wasn’t how I imagined it to go. I didn’t expect that dinner and movie to end like this… in rotations of all of us watching as you fought for your life. You spent a week planning this, not reaching out. You think you’re alone but Minho… You haven’t been alone this whole time.”
Minho’s lips began to tremble, eyes red rimmed and cheeks wet with tears. Chan reached out and cupped his cheeks. “You’re going to get better. You’re going to experience dark days, but they’ll get less and less as time goes on. You just have to fight.”
“I’m so tired.” Minho said, “I don’t want to fight.”
“That’s the illness.” Chan said, “Our Minho is a fighter. He’s strong. If not for yourself yet, then do it for us. For Stay. For your parents. For Soonie, Doongie and Dori. For Han.”
The younger man’s face cracked and he shook his head no. He sucked in a breath and said, “I’m too tired. I want to give up.”
“You can’t.” Chan said, his tears finally falling, “You have to stay. Please, we need you. You have to stay with us. We’ll solve everything else, just stay with us. Promise me.”
Minho held his breath as Chan spoke then let it out. He said softly, “try.”
“Say it again.” Chan said, “please.”
“I’ll try!” Minho yelled back, “I’ll try! Okay? Are you happy? I’ll stay just for one day. I’ll get through today!”
Nodding, Chan pulled Minho back into his arms, holding him. “Yes. That’s it. You just have to do it today. You’re not alone. You’re never alone. We will try again tomorrow.”
Minho gently reached out, wrapping his arms around Chan. “I… I promise.”
Chan cried and whispered thank you to the younger one. Minho was shocked to find that when he said the promise that he wasn’t lying. He meant it. He meant that he would try. He would try for today.
October 2022, JYPE Dormitory, Seoul, South Korea
The new dorm's furnishings were pushed to the middle of the room, tarps covering the ground. Han was trying to get the paint brush into the can but his hands were trembling too hard. Yeji had tried to help him earlier, but Han had insisted that he didn’t need help. She and the others tried to keep the tone light, bringing a radio and some waters to share. Han had barely spoken, bags under his eyes, and shoulders slumped.
Changbin hovered a bit, watching as well, but mainly helping where he could. Chaeryong was chatting about their new comeback next month and how she was annoyed by the choreography. In all, the painting was going quickly with the many hands. Hyunjin was out with Felix, Chan was in the hospital with Lee Know, the maknae line were in the kitchen painting, and Itzy refused to leave any of them for longer than an overnight.
The new dorm was closer to everything. The first floor was large and open concept, with tight rooms split on the first floor and up above. The second floor had a peaceful and quiet communal space that led to a balcony. Han had designated the room closest to the center of the house as Lee Know’s. It was the warmest and he’d be able to hear his members. It was far from any ledges. Han had purchased a lock box for his medicine. He made sure that the other members did the same. Han had freaked out when he saw cough syrup in the bathroom, almost causing IN to cry. It took a while to de-escalate Han, and by the time Han was calm, IN was gone. Han found himself apologizing a lot these days. Now he was surrounded by his friends and he couldn’t look them in the eye.
Han finally threw the brush on the ground and stepped back. Changbin instantly looked up, seeing that Han’s hands were shaking still and his eyes widening. He made it almost half way across the room when Ryujin looped arms with Han. “We’re taking a walk!” She announced, dragging the rapper from the room.
Changbin froze, watching after them. Yeji walked up to Changbin, nudging his shoulder. “They’ll be okay. Ryu is a bit wild, but she manages to get to the source of things.”
Changbin nodded, “It’s just with the two oldest gone… Everyone is on edge.”
“Understandable. How about you?” She said softly.
Changbin dropped his head and nodded, “I’m good. Just… making the rounds. Taking care of Jinnie. Trying to be there for my members.”
Yeji put her arm through Changbin’s and walked to the paint, capping it. “Let’s take a break.”
She handed him water and Changbin took it, not fighting it. He softly said, “I don’t need one…”
She ignored him, sitting down and Changbin sat next to her. “He’ll be okay. He’s in a safe place.” She said.
Changbin rubbed the bridge of his nose, nodding. He didn’t realize how tired he was until he sat down. He looked over at her and said, “Thank you for helping us.”
She nodded, “He’s our friend too. He can’t return to that room. Not after all of that. I don’t think I can even walk into that dorm.”
Changbin leaned back and said, “I tried to go in and pack for him and his things were already packed.”
Changbin swallowed thickly, getting emotional, turning away. He cleared his throat, trying to stop the deep cut of emotion from coming out. Yeji squeezed his thigh. “Minho is smart. He thinks all the time, he sees and plans things. We will get him better.”
“I watched the video.” Changbin said, feeling his eyes burn. “He said goodbye and thank you to me. He told me to take more risks singing and that I was the best rapper in kpop.”
Yeji continued to squeeze his thigh. Changbin sucked in a deep breath. “It was the hardest thing to watch. He looked so sad, so defeated. And yet, still so passionate. He loved what he was doing, dancing and singing. He loved-”
“Loves. He’s still here, Binnie.” Yeji said, moving her hand to squeeze his shoulder.
Changbin nodded, “He is alive. I’m proud of him too. He told the psychiatrist that he’d do three months in the rehab or the residential or whatever it is.”
“That’s good. It shows he is giving himself time to heal.” She said. “You’ll heal too. I know it.”
Changbin looked at her and smiled briefly, before his face fell into its usual solumness of late. The door opened and Hyunjin walked in with Felix. They had bags of snacks and were arguing lightly over a video game. Hyunjin looked over at the two of them and his eyes immediately zeroed on Changbin. He paused, “You ok?”
“Yeah, of course.” Changbin said, standing up awkwardly.
Yeji gave him a look and Changbin sighed, “Sorry. I’m… worried and feeling… sad.”
Felix watched Hyunjin put the snacks down and immediately walk to Changbin. Changbin put his hands up, as if to reassure Hyunjin that he was fine, but instead, just pulled the other into his arms. Hyunjin put his forehead on Changbin’s shoulder and said softly, “I’ve got you.”
Changbin felt his eyes burn again, not speaking. Hyunjin said, “Do you want to go to my room. It’s not unpacked, but the beds all set up.”
“I should paint.” Changbin said, “And make sure Han is okay, check in on the maknae, and Chan might need a tag out.”
Hyunjin smiled sadly and said, “Someone else is going to do that right now. I haven’t been taking care of you, I’m sorry.”
Changbin looked up at him and said, “You have. You’re perfect. I like helping. It gives me something to do with all of these… thoughts and feelings.”
Hyunjin sighed and smiled knowingly. “Well, I do need help in one way.”
Changbin raised an eyebrow and Hyunjin continued, “I want to watch my video tonight… I just can’t do it alone. I also want to take a nap with you. We can paint later.”
Yeji smiled softly and said, “Felix and I can finish up in here.”
Felix nodded fervently. Hyunjin took Changbin’s hand, leading him upstairs. Felix looked at Yeji who smiled. “You boys are really strong.”
“You are too.” Felix said, sitting down, his eyes perpetually red rimmed. “Thank you for being here.”
June 2008, Gimpo, South Korea
Lee Minho walked down the school hallway, pass in hand. His finger drew an imaginary line on the wall, walking in a straight line. His jacket was pressed and tie straight. His hair kept falling over his eyes and he would blow his bangs out of the way occasionally. Minho’s shoes were the only footsteps in the hall, until he heard the sound of music faintly playing. Minho looked at his pass telling him to go to the office for copies. He paused by the door that had the music playing. Looking towards the office, then towards the music, he bit his lip while he weighed out his options. It was just a look. It couldn’t harm anything.
Minho opened the door as quietly as he could, peeking in with one eye. There were older middle school students around a radio. The music was bubblegum pop, a Girls Generation song, which he’d heard before, but the older students were in a group dancing together. Minho leaned closer seeing one of them do a backflip, while the others began to spin. Minho’s eyes widened, his own feet tapping to the song. All of a sudden, he heard a teacher bark out from behind him. “Where is your pass?!”
Minho slammed the door shut and stood at attention, showing the pass. The teacher was Hong-nim, the oldest substitute the school had. He was fairly sure they just hired him to walk around and yell at kids. Hong-nim looked at the form then handed it back. He snapped his fingers and glared, pointing towards the office. Minho jumped, running off as quickly as his little legs could.
Before entering the office, he looked back at the music room, seeing the middle school students being led out. They were all complaining. The boys had their hats on backwards, and he saw a gold chain underneath the standard uniform. Minho smiled then entered the office.
Later that evening, Minho sat hunched at the dinner table. His father was discussing an upcoming business trip, while his mother gently tapped his knee. Minho straightened up. His father smiled at him endearingly. “Tired? That’s good! A sign of hard work.”
“Johoi-nim assigned double homework.” Minho complained, “I just did homework yesterday.”
His father laughed and said, “Homework will teach you discipline, little one. One day, you will graduate school, own a house, get a wife, and children of your own. If you just waste your time, you will have none of that. Where would I be without you or my wife?”
Minho frowned. “I don’t want a wife or house. I want to be famous!”
His mother rolled her eyes. “Focus on the life you have, Minho. What do you want to be famous for?”
“To dance and sing. I want to be the best.” Minho said, crossing his arms.
His father nodded and said, “Stand up. Show me your best dance move.”
A huge smile stretched over the younger boy’s face and he stood up. His father began to clap his hands to a beat and Minho began to spin and dance, mimicking the older boys he saw. His mother began to sing a song along with her husband as Minho circled the table. He collapsed at his spot, and giggled. “Can I be a famous singer and dancer?”
“Only if you study, work hard, and honor your family and country, Minho. You must always do us proud.” His mother said, “Now, how much of this homework did you get done?”
Minho’s face fell and he frowned, hunching over again. She laughed, ruffling his hair and said, “Abba will help you after dinner.”
“Can I go to dance class?” Minho asked, “If I do my homework? And chores. And get a wife.”
His father laughed out loud while Minho’s mother’s lips formed a line. She looked at her husband disapprovingly, then back at her son. His eyes were wide and his mouth small, waiting for her response. He blew his bangs out of his eyes, making them look bigger. She sighed, “We will discuss it. For now, eat, baby. You need to focus on what nine year olds need to focus on.”
Minho nodded, and said, “Yes, Eomma.”
She served him some food and he began to eat. His father looked at his wife and sighed. Minho was a hard worker. He was dedicated and could accomplish anything he set his mind to. His son was smart and would find a way to his heart’s desire. He wondered how much vocal and dance lessons cost.
December 2022, JYPE Dormitory, Seoul, South Korea
Hyunjin stretched, reaching over to the other side of his bed. It was empty and then he remembered that Changbin was visiting Lee Know at the Center. He leaned over to look at his phone, sighing. It was only 10 am. He could sleep longer but something nagged him. He smelled oil being heated and his own stomach growled. Hyunjin threw off his comforter, pulling on a bathrobe and stumbling out.
He walked in to see the hunched shoulders and drooped blue head of Felix. Felix was sitting alone, a plate in front of him. His fingertips were just touching the fork, but the pancakes were untouched. Hyunjin cleared his throat and leaned on the counter beside Felix. “Hey.”
Felix blinked, not responding for a second, but then nodded. “Hey.”
“You okay? Those look good.” Hyunjin said softly.
Nodding again, Felix wiped his nose with his sleeve. Hyunjin gently took the fork and knife from in front of Felix and began to cut the pancakes into pieces. Felix gently touched Hyunjin’s wrist, unsure if he should stop him or not. Hyunjin put on an encouraging smile. “These look great, Felix. You’re a great baker. I bet they taste good. How about one bite?”
Felix looked up at Hyunjin, eyes wide. Hyunjin offered a bite up, bringing it to Felix’s face. The younger man swallowed thickly and held his stomach, but dutifully took the small bite. It rested in his mouth, not moving. Hyunjin gently stroked his back. “Chew and swallow, Felix. Here… drink it down.”
He left to get a glass of water and passed it to Felix. Felix did as Hyunjin said, swallowing and sipping the water. He frowned and said, “I don’t want to be like Lee Know.”
Hyunjin’s eyes widened and he said, “Are you… do you want to… are you thinking of kil… killing…”
“No!” Felix said, putting his hand out, “No! Not that. Never that. I just… I just think about eating and it hurts me. I can’t eat. Ever since the ambulance came…”
Hyunjin nodded and pulled up a chair beside Felix. “Honestly… I get that too. I keep wanting to throw up.”
“I need to start eating. I know that. I need to. If I don’t, I’m going to the hospital too, right? We lose Stray Kids for good.” Felix rubbed his face, staring at the pancakes, “But I can’t! I want to.”
Hyunjin returned to rubbing Felix’s back. “Can we do it together? Your body needs it, Felix. It needs the food to function. We work so hard. You’ll collapse like he did. You can get sick too. Have another bite, I’ll eat some with you.”
Felix looked at Hyunjin and nodded. He picked up a bite of pancake, and Hyunjin did the same. Felix placed it in his mouth, chewing it. Hyunjin smiled and did the same. Felix swallowed, then watched Hyunjin copy. Hyunjin grabbed another bite, and this time brought it to Felix’s lips, who took it with a weak smile. “You’re so strong.” Hyunjin said. “I know you’re hurting, but eating will help a bit, ok? I can eat every meal with you if that helps. Changbin too.”
Felix rolled his eyes, “He’ll make me drink protein shakes or something. Gross.”
Hyunjin nodded in agreement. “They taste like chalk.”
Felix giggled, popping another bite in his mouth. “Why just vanilla and chocolate?”
“What if there was mint chocolate chip?” Hyunjin said, taking another bite.
Felix scrunched his face. “You have terrible taste.”
Jaw dropped, Hyunjin raised his fist and Felix giggled again, squirming away. Hyunjin laughed and said, “I forgive you for your rudeness, maknae.”
“I’m not the maknae.”
“You act like one, brat. Finish your pancake.” Hyunjin said, pointing.
Felix looked down and blinked. There was one bite left. He looked at Hyunjin who was smiling at him knowingly. Felix smiled before taking the bite into his mouth. Hyunjin kissed his cheek. “Good job.”
Felix blushed and then hugged Hyunjin. “Thank you.”
“Thank you for being you.” Hyunjin returned.
August 2025, Seoul, South Korea
Lee Know spun the wedding ring on Han’s finger. His husband grinned, looking at the crowd of rainbows, dancing, and music. “Get your own,” Han joked, side eyeing Lee Know.
“Ah… but Seungmin is taken, alas.” Lee Know said into Han’s ear, grinning.
Han turned around, pulling their hips together. “You’re mine, Lee Know. I do not share.”
Lee Know grinned, pecking his husband on the lips. “I was married to Seungmin once.”
Han shoved Lee Know, then turned back to the parade as it marched through Seoul. Lee Know laughed then pulled Han back against his chest. “You know they say the first time is for money, and the last time is for love.”
“Am I your last time?” Han said softly.
Lee Know kissed below Han’s ear. “You’re my first time and my lifetime.”
Suddenly, the high pitched screech of Chan sounded next to them. “Ohhhhh they’re so cute!”
Lee Know made an angry face and Han rolled his eyes. Chan was standing next to them, a Stray Kids shirt on in rainbow colors, and a tiara on. It was mild in comparison to Felix who was clinging to Chan’s side, painted in rainbow colors and all manners of rainbow glittery clothes and a pair of angel wings. Felix cheered loudly, smile large, waving his noisemakers. Lee Know reached out, grabbing them. “Okay, we get it! Go Pride.” He said, voice deadpanned.
Felix beamed up at Chan, eyes wide and lovingly, “It’s been one year since gay marriage passed! Even a Lee Know with distemper can’t ruin my mood.”
Chan’s ears reddened a bit as he looked down at Felix in his arms. Han snorted, wrapping his arms around his husband. “Are you going to perform like that, Felix? Are we all going to perform like that?”
Han looked down at himself. He had and Lee Know didn’t dress up, so to speak, but they were dressed in black leather pants and matching mesh shirts. Felix turned, flicking his long hair at the two of them and said, “Channie, I’m going to go dance! Bye!”
Chan blinked and his rainbow bounced away, falling into the street dance party. Han nudged him and said, “So are you going to do it?”
Chan’s ears got redder, and then his neck. “I… maybe. I mean, yes. Eventually.”
“Marry him. Marry Him. Marry him.” Han chanted.
Lee Know snickered and said, “he’s intimidated by our amazing wedding. I understand.”
Rolling his eyes, Chan shoved Lee Know, causing the other to laugh. “I have the ring… I just… the timing…”
Lee Know grinned, but then the smile slid off of his face. He was staring past Chan’s shoulder. Han looked at Lee Know, feeling his husband tense up beneath him. He followed his eye line and saw what had made Lee Know uncomfortable. “You don’t have to talk to him.” Han said, “Today is our day.”
Chan, confused, turned and saw an older man, looking nervous. It was Lee Know’s father. Lee Know let go of Han and said, “excuse me a moment, the both of you.”
Walking towards his father, Lee Know felt his stomach twist. They still spoke, but he hadn’t been home in years. Han and him had moved out on their own, buying a house. His father had been once. Standing in front of his father, Lee Know bowed respectfully. His father looked at him and smiled. “Hello, Minho. It’s good to see you, son.”
“Am I your son?” Lee Know said.
Taking a deep breath, his father nodded, “You have always been and will always be. I’m here to support you and your husband.”
Lee Know stepped back a bit. He wanted to yell at his father, but he’d done that so often that he didn’t have the strength any more. He thought about just turning and leaving. Lee Know opened his mouth, finger pointing at his dad, ready to tell him to leave. “I missed you!” He said instead.
His father nodded, looking sad. “I miss you. I… I know that we haven’t honored you the way that we should have. A mother and father should not act as we have.”
Lee Know rubbed his forehead, crossing his arms. “Why now?”
“I’m tired, Minho. I don’t want to lose more time with you than I already have.” He sighed, “I am sorry for how we treated you and your husband. I’m happy that the Han family has been for you what we weren’t.”
Lee Know bit his lip, thinking of the words. It was what he wanted to hear, but it felt stale. “You weren’t… terrible. I am thankful for all that you’ve done for me.” Lee Know said, then noticed his members were badly hiding their presence. He saw them all just far enough away to give them privacy, and close enough to whisk him away if needed.
His dad took a deep breath. “Lee Know, I want to try. It hurts not having you in my life. I want to know what you’re doing and feeling. I want to be a part-”
“We need to work on it then.” Lee Know interrupted. “You left me at the worst time in my life. You rejected Han, his family, and me.”
His father took a deep breath, then bowed. “I understand, son. Then, just take with you my apology. I am forever sorry for the damage I have done.”
Lee Know felt his eyes fill up with tears and he nodded. “I said, we need to work on it. Come with me to lunch with the Hans. We will figure it out then. Is Eomma-”
“She isn’t here.” He said, quietly.
Lee Know wiped his eyes then nodded. “Well, don’t make me regret that you’re here. I’m her loss, not mine.”
Lee Know watched his dad raise his head, a sad smile on his face as he nodded. Lee Know noticed then that his father’s nicely pressed shirt had a rainbow pin on the lapel. Sighing, Lee Know took his father’s hand and brought him over to Han. “Jisung, this is my father. Appa, this is Jisung.”
“We’ve met.” Han said, a smile on his face, but eyes hesitant. He was watching Lee Know’s body language like a hawk.
“But not as my son-in-law.” Lee Know watched his father bow to Han and apologize to him as well.
Han clapped him on the shoulder and said, “Siabeoji-nim, please come to lunch with my family. All are welcome.”
Minho’s father smiled and Han was struck with the similarities between father and son. Lee Know turned his head away, getting emotional. Han moved to his husband’s side, taking his hand and holding it. He spun his husband’s wedding ring, to ground him.
The End.