Chapter Text
Things change between them, but, at the same time, everything stays the same.
Pedro still makes funny faces off camera until Bella loses their composure, doubles over in giggles until they’re laughing out loud and ruining the shot, and Craig has to yell cut and wait while they stare at each other’s faces and take deep breaths, only to break out in giggles once more.
Bella still has to shake him by the shoulders sometimes, when he’s too caught up in his own mind, overthinking every single breath he takes as Joel, small hands squeezing his arms as they beg him not to overanalyze the scene (like he tends to do with every aspect of his life), holding hands until he calms down, nods at them and shakes his whole body like a wet dog, releasing tension and going through his lines once more.
Craig jokes that they’ve become surgically attached together, and Bella winces, expecting Pedro to make a joke, dissuade him of this idea. But he just wraps his arm around them, muttering something about two peas in a pod, keeps reaching out to them on set. They’re hovering around each other so much that, after a few weeks, Coco seems to have mastered the art of doing Pedro’s hair and makeup despite his inability to sit still, as he’s talking and moving and twisting his body in Bella’s direction like a magnet.
The way they operate together probably doesn’t make sense to anybody but them, and Bella likes it like that.
It gives them a sick sense of satisfaction to be certain that nobody else knows what they do. That they will never know how, on a random Tuesday evening, Bella had asked Pedro to turn off the lights, lean against the bathroom sink and keep them company as they took a shower, and that he’d complied. Pedro had nodded quietly at the question, smiling as he helped Bella undress, removing their binder carefully and folding their clothes in a neat pile. The memory of Pedro sitting still and silent sends a shiver through Bella’s body, his broad frame reflected on the mirror, barely blinking as he watched them wash their body in a slow, methodical manner.
Bella is thankful that they won’t ever have to explain to anyone that it was sexual (because there was no denying how both of them did get turned on, and then did nothing about it), but also not sexual. It was a show of trust, a way of getting used to being seen by another person, of putting themselves on display and learning how to let themselves feel desired for the first time.
They don’t know what is more surprising: the fact that Pedro just accepts whatever form of contact they demand from him, or the fact that nobody around them seems to question it.
-
One afternoon, when they’re milling around his trailer and waiting until Craig calls them, Pedro corners Bella, something nagging on the back of his mind ever since they told him that they had no experience with this kind of thing.
What kind of experience did Bella want, exactly?
He hadn’t asked, didn’t even know if he should ask at all, which meant he always steered towards caution whenever they were together, always waiting for Bella to make the first move or outright tell him what they wanted. The shower had been remarkably easy, probably because Bella hadn’t asked him to join them under the spray, but it was still a study in self-restraint; shivers running over his entire body as he forced himself not to say anything that might come off as inappropriate to Bella while he watched their half-visible silhouette, naked and wet and perfect only three feet away from him.
But what if they wanted more?
Pedro pokes their calf with the toe of his shoe, trying to come off as casual as possible. “Hey, about that thing you asked me the other day.”
“What thing?”
“About trying new things…With me.”
Bella laughs at his whispering of the last words, shutting off their phone. “Yeah? What about it?”
“Well, what did you mean by that? I mean – Do you want to learn by yourself, like with the shower? To know what it’s like, you know, hypothetically?”
“Hypothetically?” Bella frowns. “You mean, you just tell me stuff and we never touch?”
“Yeah.”
“No, I wanna try things. Do things. With you.”
Fuck, they don’t hold back at all.
“Are you sure?”
“I want to know if I can feel comfortable with someone else, you know, without that voice in my mind saying I shouldn’t, or without feeling like my body can’t do it.”
Pedro thinks about reminding them that they’re already comfortable enough with him that they sit on his lap, but refrains. There are still thousands of questions bubbling up inside his head, boundaries that he wants to set, things to discuss before he gives Bella anything more than the quick kisses they ask him to, half-cautious and half-excited, overthinking each move as if he’s in a chess match.
For now, he just nods.
“Alright.”
Later, when they’re lazing on his hotel room’s couch, Pedro opens YouTube on the TV and plays the original videoclip of A-ha’s Take on Me, singing under his breath and glowing when Bella looks just as excited and mesmerized as he did the first time he saw it, in all its 80’s animation and synth-heavy glory. He’s scrolling through the suggested videos, hoping to find George Michael’s Freedom! ’90, and vaguely registers Bella moving around the room. His finger’s already hovering on the play button when they return by his side, squinting.
“What’s wrong?”
Bella rubs their left eye with a damp finger. “Just removed my contacts, my eyes were scratchy.”
“Where are your glasses? I wanna show you something else.”
“Not right now.” Something’s different about Bella’s voice. “I… I want to be closer.”
I want to be closer. That’s something they’ve asked him before, and the closeness usually ranges between his hand splayed open on Bella’s back and having him lie on top of them, so Pedro needs something more specific.
“Okay. How close are we talking here?”
“Lie back, please.”
Pedro’s mind reels at the request, taking stock of their situation, sitting side by side on the couch. As soon as he nods, Bella is readjusting themselves, both hands grasping his shoulders for purchase while they climb over Pedro’s lap, sitting high on top of his thighs.
“This feels more comfortable.” Bella giggles, cold fingers digging into the crease of his neck.
“Good to know.” His hands hover mid-air before settling carefully on their waist. “That alright?”
“Yeah. Just not under my clothes, okay?”
Pedro nods, “Of course. Is that close enough?”
“No.”
“No?” Bella shakes their head, pink in the face, so he knows he needs to ask again. “How close do you want to be?”
“Can you kiss me?”
It’s still a bit strange to hear those words coming out of Bella’s lips, especially directed at him, but Pedro complies, mumbling come here before he cradles the back of their head in his hand, using the other to pull them closer to him by the waist.
The kiss is slow, Pedro taking charge from the very beginning, a change of pace since the few times they’ve kissed he had let Bella roam free, all tongue and teeth. Bella folds easily, moaning loud when his tongue licks over the seam of their lips. He traces his teeth along their bottom lip, mind reeling with ideas that he’s not sure he’s allowed to have.
“How are you feeling?”
“Mmm, really good.” Bella hums into his mouth, warm breath tickling his mustache.
“That’s good.”
Kissing Bella feels natural after a while, especially since he’s the one dictating their rhythm, moving slow enough that he knows they’ll soon grow impatient. He hasn’t moved much, happy to rub his hand over their scalp and the back of their neck, barely holding their head, and still hasn’t dared to slide his other hand anywhere lower than Bella’s waist, steadfast in his conviction that he should only move if they ask him to.
As if reading his mind, Bella’s hands slide down one of his arms, tracing the edges of his elbow and wrist bone, and Pedro holds his breath, breaking the kiss when Bella takes the hand that was previously on their waist and moves it down. He feels the soft material of their shirt underneath his palm give way to the still soft, but somewhat different texture of Bella’s sweatpants, warm under his fingers as Bella guides him to grab their leg right at the junction of the hip. That’s new.
“Can you hold me here?”
“Yeah,” He replies, circling the hipbone with his thumb, surprising himself by asking, “The other hand, too?”
“Uh-huh.”
He complies, holding Bella by the hips with both hands, and gets rewarded with a low moan against his lips and the firm grip of their fingers back on his shoulders.
“That feels nice.”
“That’s good.”
Bella moves back enough to look him in the eye, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. “You can touch me if you want.”
As much as he wants to do anything Bella asks him to, Pedro can also feel them trembling above him, so he just gives them a placating smile, feeling the shape of their hipbones under his thumbs.
“Maybe let’s just stay like this for a while, okay?”
“Okay. I’m feeling a lot of new things right now.”
“Good things, I hope?”
That earns him a giggle, and they all but throw themselves at him, hips sliding closer to his groin, close enough that they’re almost rubbing over his steadily growing erection.
“Yeah, all good things.”
“Okay, good.”
There’s something right about the quiet softness of this moment, the easiness of focusing his entire energy at another person, so much so that Pedro senses the minuscule shifts in Bella’s breathing while they’re kissing, the shuddering that travels through their body when he squeezes their hip. He barely applies any strength, but it’s still enough that Bella trembles under his touch, grinding their pelvis against his with more purpose.
Once they started kissing, it surprises Pedro how little he wonders if doing this should feel weirder; being this close to Bella, seeing and feeling how they respond to his touch makes him bright-eyed and a bit nervous, almost as if he’s doing things for the first time as well. Which he is, in a sense, since he can’t remember ever being with someone that much younger than him, all eagerness and excitement. The lyrics to Madonna’s Like a Virgin pop into his head deliriously and without preamble, and it’s hard to control his laughter at that, not wanting to startle Bella.
They kiss for another minute, Bella’s body a solid, warm weight squirming above him, until they move away, panting.
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m great.” Bella hums, face flushed scarlet. “You’re, um – You’re getting hard.”
“I am,” Pedro chooses his words carefully, “Want to move away a bit?”
He doesn’t want to force Bella into something they’re not comfortable with, but they seem to have a different perception, grinding against him with a smile.
“No, I like it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, it feels nice.”
It’s almost dangerous, how pliant Bella feels under his touch, preening when he rubs his hands over the jut of their hip, tracing the softness of their thighs. They’re like two castaways on a lifeboat, swaying together, clinging against one another for comfort. Bella looks lost in thought for a second, looking at Pedro’s face but not really, eyes fixed somewhere off with a thousand-yard stare. Before he knows, Bella’s back in the present, a small smile playing on their lips.
“I wanna ask you something.”
“Okay.”
“It’s embarrassing.”
“Why is it embarrassing?” He muses, curious, and Bella shrugs.
“I don’t know, it just feels weird to say it out loud.”
“Tell me, anyway.”
They chew their lip again before kissing Pedro instead of saying what it is they want, mouth clashing against his more forcefully this time and then retreating just as suddenly. Pedro rubs the crease on the back of Bella’s thigh, dangerously close to their ass, hoping to ease them into talking.
“You don’t have to feel embarrassed about anything with me. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
“Can I say it in your ear?”
It’s hard for him not to laugh at the request, at their sudden bashfulness when they’re usually so outspoken, but he manages to nod, waiting quietly. Bella is quick to press their lips to his ear, rogue strands of hair tickling his neck.
“I want you to suck on my tongue.”
Fuck me, that came out of nowhere.
Bella moves back to face him, all pink cheeks and expectant eyes shining, and he nods mechanically, mind going a million miles a minute. There’s no way Bella doesn’t feel his erection rubbing under their thighs, because if he wasn’t already well on his way to being hard, he sure as hell is now, cock pulsating at the filthy words that left Bella’s lips.
“Can I ask why you want it?”
“I’ve read about it before, some people like it.”
“They do.” Pedro replies, voice surprisingly level given how dazed he feels at the moment.
“So, I want to try it.”
“Okay, we can do that.”
“Yeah?”
He nods again, wondering if saying please would scare them away.
“Do you like it?”
“I do.”
“Why didn’t you say so? We could have tried it already!” Bella bats him on the shoulder, offended, and this time he can’t control his laughter.
“It’s not about what I want, Bell.”
They kiss for a little while, but Pedro can sense that Bella’s restless, stirring above him in anticipation, thighs rubbing against his cock in a way that’s probably intentional, but he lets it slide for now. He moves away from them, breaking the kiss.
“How do you want to do this?”
“Do it to me first, so I can learn how,” Bella says, eyes fixated on his mouth, “And then I’ll do it to you.”
“Alright.”
Bella is a glowing ball of energy, visibly shaking above him, hands braced on his chest and shoulder, and he squeezes their leg affectionately. Their eyes are wide open, apparently needing to watch everything that’s unfolding with rapt attention, the same way they do on set or when they’re going over their lines, always the good student. His other hand travels up from their hip until it reaches the hinge of Bella’s jaw, holding it in place with his thumb.
“Okay. Open your mouth.” Bella complies, tongue already sticking out, and Pedro tuts at them. “Not right now, just keep your mouth open.”
He kisses the corners of Bella’s lips, tracing his tongue over the seam, dipping it inside to lick their bottom teeth, wanting to give them everything he can. Bella is already panting against his mouth, eyes half-lidded as he keeps moving, dipping his thumb over their bottom lip and forcing their mouth to open wider, causing a moan to ripple out of their lips.
“Stick out your tongue now.”
Pedro rubs his tongue against Bella’s in lazy circles, dragging the moment, and then closes his lips around the soft muscle, sucking it lightly, running his tongue over the tip inside his own mouth. There’s a sharp intake of breath and then Bella whines rather loudly, hands digging into his shoulders as they try to mold their bodies closer together.
It’s incredibly erotic, and also the closest thing to having sex while still clothed, especially with how hard Bella’s grinding against him, warmth seeping through their clothes over his cock in a way that leaves no room for doubt about how turned on they are. Pedro hums along with their moans, alternating between sucking on Bella’s tongue and swirling his own tongue around it. His hands seem to be moving on their own, roaming around the back of Bella’s thighs until they land on their ass, small and perfectly fit for his palms.
Bella whimpers against his mouth, breaking him out of his reverie. “Oh my God.”
“How was that?”
“Fuck, it was really hot. Wow.”
Being kissed like this is a completely new experience to Bella, but somehow, they’re not that surprised. It makes sense that Pedro would be an absurdly good kisser; given how they had noticed his penchant for constantly having things in his mouth, it wasn’t hard to infer that the man probably has an oral fixation the size of Jupiter.
He seems pleased to hear their words, fingers dancing over Bella’s tailbone as he smiles. “Yeah?”
“Uh-huh.” They nod, brain-to-mouth filter apparently completely broken, given what they say next. “I’m really wet.”
Pedro’s eyes widen in surprise, heart beating like a hammer inside his chest, and he coughs, suppressing a groan at the sensation of his cock twitching in his pants, already damp with precum. He doesn’t know how to respond to that, just buries his head in Bella’s neck, breathing in their scent.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, nothing. Just… Wasn’t expecting it.”
“Come back here,” Bella tugs his hair softly, could probably force his head up to stare at them if they wanted, but he goes willingly. “I want to suck on your tongue, now.”
Their eyes are roaming around his face, mouth red and swollen from all the kissing, and there’s something wild about their expression, almost predatory. Pedro feels pinned under Bella’s gaze, a fawn ready to be devoured. He almost hates himself for liking it.
He trails his hands back to Bella’s hips, but they frown at him, impatient.
“No, what are you doing?”
“I’m not doing anything.”
“Yes, you are.” Something defiant shines in their eyes, as if they’re challenging him. Or maybe themselves. “Put your hands back on my butt.”
“Fuck, I’ve created a monster.” Pedro laughs.
It’s endearing and arousing at the same time, how Bella seems comfortable enough now to boss him around, stating what they want clearly. Pedro remembers that this is what they hoped for, to feel at ease with another person, so mission accomplished, I guess. He could mention this to Bella and they could stop right here if they wanted.
He doesn’t say anything, just slides his palms over each side of their ass, allowing himself to squeeze the soft fat, fingers moving down enough that they’re just shy of reaching Bella’s sex over their clothes.
“Is this what you want?”
Bella nods, moaning earnestly for the first time, an open, magnificent sound that travels straight to Pedro’s cock. It doesn’t go unnoticed, if Bella’s smile is anything to go by.
What the fuck am I doing?
“Open your mouth.”
He does, sticking his tongue out automatically, and this time he’s the one who moans as soon as Bella’s lips make contact, small mouth closing around his tongue and sucking it firmly. It feels great, and Bella is a quick study like he knew they’d be, running their tongue over his lips, hands shaking as they bury into his hair. Pedro grunts low, palming Bella’s ass with enough force that they move closer to him, their center rubbing deliciously over his dick.
Nothing else registers in Bella’s mind besides the friction of their body against Pedro’s, the slick sensation of his tongue inside their mouth, the seemingly involuntary movement of his hand as he all but helps them rut against him. His cock is rock hard beneath them, warm and solid and providing just the right amount of pressure that they feel minutes away from coming. It’s incredibly overwhelming.
“Pedro, oh fuck.”
His hands are firm on Bella’s thighs, a solid weight grounding them to reality. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s a lot…It’s too much.”
“Let’s stop for a moment,” Pedro whispers, “We can take a break, it’s okay.”
Bella knows they could take a break, feels safe in the fact that they have a choice and can back out of this at any given time, but they’re also overflowing with curiosity and desire and pent-up tension. Maybe they’re too stubborn in their eagerness to dive past anything they’ve ever done before, but Pedro’s words seem to only spur them further.
“No!” Bella whines, hips rutting against his with more force, “I want to keep going.”
There’s a slight desperation, too, to keep poking at the bruise, pushing at the seams until they burst. It’s so intense that Bella can taste it, this new sensation of being tangled up with another person, never mind that he’s not even touching them directly.
“Are you sure?”
“Please, I’m – ” Bella stutters, blushing despite their excitement, or maybe because of it, “I want to keep going.”
“Okay, let me know it gets too much, alright?”
“I will, I will.”
For all of his reluctance, Pedro never eases his grip on their body, pulling Bella against him until they find a rhythm, his own legs stiff and feet firmly planted on the floor in order to give Bella the stability they need to rut against him. Maybe the TV is still on, maybe they should be sleeping already, maybe Pedro really is old enough to be their dad, but none of that matters to Bella when his huge hands are splayed on their ass, helping them sway above him. When his warm tongue is in their mouth, saliva dribbling past their lips from their messy, uncoordinated, glorious kissing.
None of it matters when there’s an increasingly loud voice inside Bella’s brain screaming this is what it’s supposed to feel like, this is what you’ve been craving, this is what you thought you could never have, this is how your body feels at home.
“Pedro, I’m really close.”
“Close to wh – Oh, fuck.” Pedro sounds surprised, as if he wasn’t the one guiding Bella along to this very feeling, as if he wasn’t hard as a rock underneath them. “Oh, Bell.”
“Is that okay?”
They didn’t necessarily talk about what to do if they reached this stage, because Bella didn’t think they’d get this far so quickly, but Pedro isn’t making any moves to stop them, quite the opposite. He runs one of his hands over their hair, pulling it back against their ear with a reassuring smile.
“Of course, keep going, you’re doing so good.”
Bella’s movements grow uneven and choppy above Pedro, so he guides them by the hip with more purpose, letting them drown their moans in his mouth. It’s scary and exciting to feel this much pleasure with another human, there’s no way of measuring how much time passes before Bella feels the familiar tug in their core, warm waves rippling over their spine. There’s a faint wheezing sound ringing somewhere, and it takes Bella a few seconds to realize it’s coming from their own lips, staccato whines that match each slide of their body against Pedro’s.
“Oh, fuck, fuck.”
He hums against Bella’s cheek, their faces glued together, and squeezes their ass one more time before Bella folds against him, orgasm taking over their body and making them collapse on his chest with a loud moan. The pleasure feels all-encompassing, stealing all the oxygen from the room, leaving Bella grasping for air and whining into Pedro’s neck, body covered in goosebumps, no doubt making all sorts of weird faces.
Dampness seeps through their underwear in a way that would usually feel disgusting, but right now feels incredible, especially when Pedro is muttering words of encouragement to them in a low tone.
“That’s it, Bell, there you go.”
The room feels stifling hot, the air-conditioner is barely managing to do its job, blowing cool air over their sweat-covered bodies while Pedro traces shapes over Bella’s t-shirt, waiting for them to come back to Earth.
“Bella?” They grunt into his neck in response, not bothering with words. “Are you okay?”
Bella slowly lifts one of their hands to give him a trembling thumbs-up. Pedro can’t help but snort, jostling them in the process. Soon enough they’re both laughing, nonsensical giggles that make them shake against each other, and Pedro stifles a whimper when the movement creates friction on his cock. He’s still hard, but the entire experience was overwhelming enough that he can barely think about touching himself, still entirely focused on Bella, attuned to how they might be feeling.
“You didn’t come.” They mumble, voice still slurred.
“Don’t worry about it,” He assures, resting his head on the back cushion so that he can look at their face, “How are you feeling?”
“Good. That was… It was really good.”
“Yeah? No weird feelings?”
“No. It was a lot, I mean – I’ve never – I’ve only felt like that before when I was alone,” Bella admits, sheepish, “And it definitely wasn’t as intense as this.”
It feels easier for Bella to talk about this now that they’ve done it, all the previous nervousness flying out the window when they realize that being intimate with Pedro doesn’t make them want to crawl out of their skin with dysphoria, that their body is somehow very capable of receiving pleasure from someone else. It also helps a lot that Pedro’s still hard, the proof of his arousal real and tangible underneath them, proof that they’re someone worthy of being desired.
“Oh, I see.” He hums, a surprised look on his face. “That’s alright, I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
“Are you kidding me? I can barely move now.”
Pedro laughs, pushing Bella back slowly until they’re sitting on his thighs, easing the pressure on his dick. His hair is disheveled, sticking to his temples and making his glasses fog, and Bella has half the mind to ask him if he wants to keep going, but they’re also exhausted and verging on overstimulation from all the new things they’ve done.
As if reading their mind, Pedro coughs, forcing Bella’s gaze to lift away from his crotch.
“We don’t have to do anything else today, it’s completely fine.” He gestures in the general direction of his dick. “It will go away after a while.”
“But don’t you want to come?”
Pedro smiles at the frustrated expression on Bella’s face. “Not really. I think I’ve had enough strong emotions for the night.”
“Oh, of course, I keep forgetting you’re an old man.”
The room feels colder now that they’ve stopped moving, and Bella’s skin prickles as their sweat dries underneath their binder. Still, they don’t want to break the moment and get up from Pedro’s lap, mind still fuzzy around the edges.
“Well, I am. But seriously, are you comfortable? Was this okay?”
“Pedro, it was more than okay, stop worrying so much.”
“Sorry, I guess I’m still nervous.”
“Nervous?” Bella asks, confused. “Do I make you nervous?”
Pedro laughs at that, holding his own chest with one hand while the other sits low on Bella’s hip. “Oh, you make me very nervous. Believe it or not, this is also a new situation for me.”
“Oh, okay. But it was good, right?”
Once upon a time, Pedro thought he’d already experienced everything a person possibly could. Not to say that he was jaded, but perhaps conformed, comfortable in the idea that not a lot of things could surprise him anymore.
And then came Bella.
He can’t quite explain this to them, so he just settles for pulling them down until they’re hugging, Bella’s chin flat over his neck, his own face buried in a handful of hair, hands splayed on their back, pulling them as close to him as he dares.
“Yeah, it was very good.”