Chapter Text
Jeongguk asked him to be his boyfriend almost six months ago. They’d been going around in circles when the younger man finally put a stop to it. Yoongi couldn’t be happier.
Everything was relatively perfect. They are well established in their careers, they were considering moving in together, and Yoongi thinks they are basically in love. Also he was Seokjin and Namjoon approved, so that meant they were basically locked in.
He hadn’t told Jeongguk that he loved him yet, but they were getting there, Yoongi could feel it.
So yes, everything was pretty much perfect.
But, Yoongi feels terrible about one thing in particular. He doesn’t like Jeongguk’s best friends. Which is awful, he hates himself for feeling that way.
Jeongguk has three best friends. Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jimin. Hoseok is funny and someone he gets along with well, he’s someone who’s impossible not to like. It’s really an issue with Taehyung and Jimin.
They’re a couple. Jeongguk let him know that they’d been dating since they were in high school. They’re so sweet, truly, very kind people and that’s why it pains Yoongi to dislike them.
They were touchy. At first Yoongi blamed himself. He himself isn’t the most affectionate person in the world, especially not in public. His best friends aren’t either, and neither is his own family. He’d blame himself because it was clearly his own feelings being irrational. But they’re touchy in a different way.
“I don’t like them.” Seokjin said, a cigarette between his lips. “They touch Jeongguk too much, like I get a butt pat here and again. But they straight up make him pay attention to them and only them.”
Yoongi frowns, “But Jeongguk told me that’s how they always are. They’re the affectionate kind of people.” He believed it, when Jeongguk mentioned it before he introduced them. And he was right, Taehyung had hugged Yoongi so tightly and smiled so wide when they met.. It made sense.
“It’s bullshit.” Seokjin waves him off. “I don’t like the way Jeongguk just brushes you off. You need to straight up tell him that this shit isn’t okay. It makes you uncomfortable.” he groans, patting his pockets– looking for his lighter. “Shit– you don’t have a light, do you?”
“You know I quit.” Yoongi reminds him. “This is your place, shouldn't you have one here?
“Well I lost it. Also, everyone needs a lighter, you don’t light candles?” Seokjin rolls his eyes, “Anyways back to those guys. I don’t like them, and I’m not going to pretend I do.”
“That’s fine.” Yoongi nods, “I don’t expect you to. Just be civil.”
“That’s Namjoon’s job, not mine.” Both of his friends didn’t like the way Taehyung and Jimin acted. Seokjin was more open in it, Namjoon made passive comments but ultimately just would tell Yoongi to talk it out with Jeongguk. “When’s he picking you up anyway?”
Jeongguk had told him they were hanging out with his friends later today. He invited Seokjin but the older one declined immediately, making the most unbelievable excuse possible.
“Soon.” Yoongi gave his best friend a tight lipped smile. He wasn’t excited.
Just a few weeks ago he and Jeongguk had gotten into a massive fight over his friends. Though Yoongi’s not sure his boyfriend even realized that’s why Yoongi was so angry. They went out to celebrate the older one’s birthday at a bar and while they were there Yoongi got hit on.
The guy hitting on him was persistent. Usually Yoongi would’ve ignored him but the entire time Jeongguk was too busy chatting with Taehyung and Jimin. So he entertained him, which looking back was stupid. Jeongguk didn’t even notice until the guy tried to pull Yoongi out to dance.
“My bad, bro. He looked lonely so I wanted to show him a good time.” The guy at the bar had said.
As soon as they got home they argued for what felt like hours. Jeongguk accused Yoongi of trying to make him jealous, nearly crying because of how upset he was. Meanwhile Yoongi couldn’t even bring himself to talk about Taehyung and Jimin, because he didn’t want to prove him right.
They made up only an hour after, though without the use of words if he’s honest.
Yoongi was still pissed though. He’d tried to ask about it the weeks following that incident. “Why are they so touchy with you?”
“That’s just how they are.” Jeongguk would say each time. “Ever since they met me they’ve been like that.”
‘But I don’t like it’, Yoongi wanted to scream but he just nodded and accepted the answer. He didn’t want to mess anything up. After all, who would Jeongguk choose? His friendship of almost a decade or his boyfriend of six months? It would be obvious.
“Hey.” Seokjin calls out, snapping him out of his thoughts. “Me and Namjoon are worried, this is affecting you more than you care to admit. You need to talk this out with him before you explode.”
Yoongi nods. He’s right. But everytime he tried he’d choke up, it was scary. “I will..”
His best friend stops sucking on the cigarette and tosses it on the table. “Seriously, do it.”
“I will.” Yoongi repeats, sounding even more unsure. Before Seokjin can respond he feels his phone vibrate. Jeongguk texted him that he was outside. “I have to go, hyung. I’ll see you later, okay?” He grabs his things, pats his hyung’s head before leaving out the front door.
Jeongguk embarrassingly was waiting for him outside of his car. Yoongi rolls his eyes as he makes his way down the stairs, it’s really cold today. “Jeongguk-ah, what’s up with you?”
His boyfriend grins once Yoongi is walking towards him. He holds out his arms. “I missed you, baby.” Jeongguk pouts exaggeratedly. “Walk faster.”
“It’s cold.” Yoongi argues. He’s hugging himself as he waddles over to Jeongguk. “You should’ve brought me another jacket.”
Finally Yoongi falls into Jeongguk’s arms. He’s so warm, another thing he likes about him. He’s like a human heater. “Hi baby.”
Yoongi looks up with a smile, “Hey.” Jeongguk pecks his lips. “Let’s go?”
“Yeah.” Jeongguk kisses him again. “Just one second.” Another kiss. “I brought my makeup bag so we can get prettier before we get there. Which is impossible since you’re already so pretty.”
“Shut up, It’s cold.” Yoongi whines, “At least let me get in the car first.”
***
He feels some sort of dread in his stomach as they walk down the hall of Hoseok’s apartment complex. He’d claimed it would be a small gathering of close friends, but Hoseok has a large circle of friends. A small gathering very well could be over 50 people.
Finally they get to Hoseok’s door. Jeongguk kisses him again before they knock. Yoongi blushes, leaving a shy kiss on his jaw before the door opens. “Hey! Jaykay, Yoongi hyung, welcome!” Hoseok ushers them inside.
And just like Yoongi suspected, there were plenty people already here. Hoseok shuts the door behind them.
“Is that Jeonggukie?” He hears someone shout. Yoongi averts his gaze when he notices Jimin and Taehyung rushing over. “Oh, hi Yoongi.” They greet Yoongi in passing but drag the younger man away. Yoongi lets go of his hand and watches as they chat about whatever it is they talk about. Don’t let it get to you.
He makes his way over to the kitchen and sighs. “Hey.” A guy calls out, standing beside him at the kitchen counter. “I’ve never seen you before, are you a friend of Hoseok’s?”
“Yeah.” Yoongi nods. “I’m his best friend’s boyfriend.”
“Oh Jeongguk?” The stranger blinked, “Really? I didn’t even know he had a boyfriend.”
Well that stings. Yoongi wants a drink, or well it feels like he needs one. He’s not sure what he expected when he agreed to come. He for whatever reason hoped Jeongguk wouldn’t just leave him to hangout with his friends– but he was clearly asking for too much.
“You look lonely. I’ll give you the attention your boyfriend doesn’t give you.” The stranger said, his hand placed on Yoongi’s lower back. “Whatever you want I’ll–”
Yoongi glares at him, “I just told you I have a boyfriend.”
“Yah dude, back off.” Hoseok shoved him away, “You creep.”
“Whoops.” The stranger winked at Yoongi before walking off. He says something as he walks away but Yoongi can barely even hear him.
Hoseok shakes his head, “Sorry ignore him, he’s a bit of a jerk when he’s drunk.” He smiles at Yoongi, “Do you want a drink?”
“Please.” The older man nods. Hoseok gets to work, an aspiring bartender with so much equipment that Yoongi laughs a little. “Do you know any drinks?”
“Well..” Hoseok hums, “Tequila and pineapple juice is a drink, right?” He hands it over to Yoongi, and the older man winces a little at the sheer amount of alcohol in the cup. It’s not that he can’t hold his liquor, it was just very unexpected. “Oh. I must’ve put too much, give it to me.” He takes it back and pours half of it in another cup and fills it with more juice.
He takes the drink again and this time it’s not too much. It’s strong though. It’s then he turns to the living room where the majority of the people are dancing to Hoseok’s music.
He expected Hoseok to leave after making a drink, but he didn't. Yoongi feels bad for not wanting to drink the other man’s cocktail but he just leaves it on the counter.
“You don’t have to babysit me.” Yoongi jokes. “Go have fun, it’s your party.”
Hoseok snorts, “It’s no problem. It’s the least I can do since you don’t know anyone here. Also here, sorry for the shitty drink– here's a shitty beer.” he cracks open a beer and hands it to Yoongi. He finishes it in no time, making Hoseok chant embarrassingly loud. He finally looks back to the ‘dancefloor’.
His eyes found Jeongguk immediately. He looks so handsome, always dressed in black. They both did each other’s makeup before they arrived and well he looked gorgeous–
Yoongi watches his boyfriend get spun around, two sets of hands resting on his body, swaying to the music blasting from Hoseok's old bluetooth speaker.
He doesn't want to be jealous. Watching Jimin whisper something into Jeongguk’s ear, making the younger man giggle uncontrollably. He doesn’t want to be jealous when Taehyung teasingly kisses his cheek, lingering for far longer than he should.
It makes his stomach churn, makes him feel sick. Makes him want to grab Jeongguk and get the hell out of here.
But he doesn’t. The younger one had made it clear that Jimin and Taehyung were important to him, that if it came down to it he’d choose them over Yoongi— Okay , he didn’t say that exactly , but it definitely felt implied.
“Have another drink.” Hoseok shoved another beer can into his hand, “They’ve always been like this, don’t take it to heart.”
Yoongi nods, because they remind him that all the time . That’s why he feels worse, everyone thinks it’s normal but him. Everyone is comfortable with it except for Yoongi.
“I know.” He responds, watching Jeongguk fall into Jimin’s arms, giggling uncontrollably. He inhales shakily, “ I know .”
He could endure it. He loves Jeongguk so much. He’s perfect. This is the only thing that bothers him, but he can get over it. It’s nothing. Friends are affectionate at times, it’s okay that they call him baby, it’s okay that they grope him, it’s okay that they keep him to themselves when they all hangout, it’s okay. It’s okay.
It’s like the next moment happens in slow motion. Taehyung kisses Jeongguk again, pressing his lips to the corner of his mouth. The younger laughs in protest, not even pushing him away.
Yoongi wants to vomit. “Hey, are you okay?” Hoseok asks. “Hyung?”
He wants to cry. This is too far– he can’t deal with this. He can’t handle this. He pushes through the small crowd and leaves the apartment entirely. That scene keeps replaying in his mind, Taehyung’s hand on his waist, his other hand cupping Jeongguk’s face– the kiss that was dangerously close to Yoongi’s boyfriend’s lips.
He wants to scream once he finally gets outside, walking down the cold streets. He’s so angry, he’s so angry that Jeongguk didn’t even try to push him away. He’s clenching his jaw, willing himself not to cry when he hears quick footsteps behind him.
“Yoongi! Wait!” Jeongguk calls out, stopping him. “What’s wrong?” He wonders if someone told him that Yoongi left.. Because it would be nearly impossible he noticed himself. Always preoccupied with them .
What’s wrong? “What’s wrong ? He kissed you.” Yoongi answers, “He kissed you and you didn’t do anything to stop him.”
“On the cheek!” Jeongguk defends his friend. “He always does that.”
Yoongi takes a deep breath, “I don’t know how to tell you this without being the bad guy.” He shivers a bit, “I don’t like how touchy they get with you.”
Jeongguk stares down at him, “That’s just how they are.” Why do they all say that? Why do they all downplay what’s going on? Why can't they understand that Yoongi could be uncomfortable because of it?
“Everyone says that.” Yoongi sniffles, “And I’ve been feeling like a fucking monster. I know they’re special to you, but I can’t help how I feel.”
The younger is quiet before softly speaking, “I’ve known them longer than you. If you can’t get along with them I don’t know how we’d work out.” It’s just how he imagined it, this is the part where Jeongguk dumps him– but Yoongi’s not sure if he wants him to be the one to do it.
Still, Yoongi feels his heart shatter, “Okay.” He wishes he weren’t right, he wished stupidly that Jeongguk would see it from Yoongi’s perspective and try to fix the issue.
“Okay.” Jeongguk lets out a sigh, “So what are we gonna do? I’m not going to tell them to change, not when they’ve been my best friends for so long.” it’s obvious he only wants Yoongi to change and not his best friends. If Jeongguk can’t recognize that Yoongi isn’t the issue here then he really has no choice.
“Let’s break up.” Yoongi says, trying his best to keep steady eye contact.
Jeongguk goes wide eyed, “What? What the fuck?”
“We aren’t compatible, not when it comes to this. I don’t want to be uncomfortable around them anymore, and if you’re not willing to set boundaries that’s fine. But don’t expect me to continue on with this.”
Yoongi turns to leave, but a tight grip on his wrist stops him.
“No.” Jeongguk pulls him closer. Yoongi tried to push him away.
“Jeongguk let go of me.”
“I said no .” Jeongguk shouts, “What the fuck? Why are you just leaving me without talking it out? I won’t— we’re not breaking up.”
“We are .” Yoongi yanks his arm away, “Every time I’ve brought it up you look at me like I’m crazy— So I’d drop it, but I’ve had enough .”
“Baby,” Jeongguk whimpers. “We need to talk about this.” He’s about to cry, and it breaks Yoongi’s heart but he can’t do this anymore, he can’t.
“How would you feel if Namjoon touched me, grabbed me by my waist and held me close to him.” Yoongi spat, “If he kissed me on the cheek, on my neck, on my shoulder—”
“That’s— that’s different. Taehyung and Jimin have always been like that—”
“Or what if Namjoon grinded on my ass? Made jokes about him stealing me from you? What if he called me baby ?” Yoongi sobs, slapping away the younger’s hands. “You don’t know how much shit I've kept quiet about because I was scared of losing you.”
“I'll make them stop.” Jeongguk cries, “Please I didn’t know.”
“You did!” Yoongi shoves at his chest, “You did know! that’s why you always fucking said that’s just how they are . You knew it made me uncomfortable, and I’ve had enough.”
“You didn’t tell me!” Jeongguk snaps, “How the fuck was I supposed to know?”
Yoongi wants to scream, “Because everytime I look slightly surprised you’d defend their behavior.” He backs away, “You don’t care about what I feel when it comes to them. They’ll always be more important to you.”
“You are important to me. I’m not cheating on you, if that’s what you’re thinking. I would never– Yoongi please..” Jeongguk’s lip trembles, “Baby, think about this, I don’t want to lose you.”
Yoongi sniffles, “I know you’re not cheating on me. But I don’t like it.”
“Please don’t break up with me.” Jeongguk begs, “We can work this out. I’ll talk to them, they’ll never do shit like that again.”
Yoongi shakes his head, “I need time to think. I’ll just go home, don’t come over, okay?”
“I’ll take you home.” Jeongguk says, wiping away the tears streaming down his cheek. “I don’t want you going back alone this late.”
“Okay.” Yoongi said in a soft voice. “Let’s go..”
Jeongguk walked alongside him towards the parking lot. He’d sniffle but for the most part they were walking in silence. Yoongi doesn’t like this. He didn’t want it to end this way, he didn’t want it to end at all . But even now when they finally talked about it, Yoongi felt like he didn’t take him seriously.
His ex boyfriend opens the passenger door, at least he thinks he’s an ex now. But maybe he shouldn’t think so much about it. “Thanks.” Yoongi mumbled as he got in.
If the walk back was silent, the car ride was worse. Jeongguk was holding back tears and it was tearing Yoongi apart. He almost wanted to apologize, but he stopped himself from doing so. He’s not sure if this is salvageable.
“Yoongi, baby, I’m sorry.” Jeongguk says, “Please. I’m so sorry.”
Yoongi stares down at his lap, “Okay.”