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Xie Lian is not a greedy person. In all of his 800 hundred — and more — years of living, he has not been greedy once.
One could say he’s always been incredibly selfless and foolish, even giving food which was hard to come by away to strays or other people at any given moment — rather than taking it himself, who might have needed it more at the time.
Spending years rolling about in the mud, daydreaming away most of his day while offering labor work where it was needed.
Relying on the little needs of the people in numerous towns — hoping to make a little money for at least one warm meal.
Going hungry when no one could offer him a decent job.
It got to the point where he couldn’t remember being full — content or comfortable. Praying to an unknown being at all times to rid himself of the cold, gnawing hunger.
Always finding it hard to get up for the day, yet still forcing himself to do so.
He could not not try.
As grief-stricken as he may have been — he pulled through, clawing his nails into cement, and pushing himself forward with bloodied fingers no matter what.
Though greed is a funny thing. While he might not have had it back then—
He has it now.
Not much of it, no—
He’s just extremely possessive of what he has.
Surely, when you don’t have anything — there’s nothing to be greedy of.
That was the case for him in his second banishment — when he had started considering himself a mere failure.
Yet when you have an immense amount of something, anything, you cannot make do without it — becoming restless and agitated when there’s no more of it.
Becoming greedy.
That’s what sets Xie Lian’s cheeks aflame as he chases after the Ghost King’s lips, finding it embarrassing to feel such things at his age.
Huffing out a breath when Hua Cheng leans back after offering a soft, chaste kiss to his lips — smiling down at him.
Xie Lian thinks there may be a sun in the middle of his ghosts face, blinding him and filling his chest with warm adoration, blood rushing in his ears.
They were in the fields of Puqi Village, once again helping with the harvest this year around.
For the better part of the day, while working very hard, Xie Lian had trouble concentrating on his actual work — rather staring at the man in crimson attire working alongside him — yearning to finally retire for the afternoon and spend their time together.
After all, he’s been forced to crouch in the scorching sun for hours on end, and usually the prince wouldn’t struggle with such an easy task.
But he does, almost embarrassingly so, because Hua Cheng—
He’s put his hair up into a bun, and—
It makes his cheekbones seem sharper, his gaze harder. Making him look undeniably handsome.
And when the sun casts shadows on his face in a way that Xie Lian can’t describe—
He finds it hard not to stare. Or finish his work, for that matter, attention solely focused on Hua Cheng.
Thinking about all sorts of things.
And his hair — It looks downright magical in the orange light, obsidian strands sticking out in some places from the never ceasing movement as the man in question hops from one place to another, working hard.
Skin glistening with a thin sheet of sweat glazed over it under the unforgiving sun, muscles on both of his forearms contracting whenever he moves them in the slightest.
Xie Lian’s weight rests on the shovel in his hands as he sways from right to left lazily, chin placed on the rough — slightly dirty — broom end as he just .. stares.
At Hua Cheng, who is actually doing his task, for once NOT staring at the prince.
Which, ironically, Xie Lian scolds him over usually.
Feeling hazy while seemingly lost in thought.
Of course, the Ghost King has noticed. How could he not when the prince was going to make it so painfully obvious?
“Is gege going to keep staring?” Hua Cheng snickers, straightening up and rolling his shoulders to get some kinks out of his joints.
Xie Lian snaps out of whatever trance he is caught in — cheeks red as he mutters under his breath, dismissing Hua Cheng with a wave of his hand.
“What … What are you talking about?”
Clearing his throat before he shrugs him off with a laugh, saying that he was just looking to see how he was doing with the work — nothing else.
Fleeing into the other direction as soon as his little ramble stops, the redness having spread to his ears.
Ignoring the rumbling chuckle he hears behind him.
The rest of the afternoon goes by even slower — time playing a cruel prank on Xie Lian.
Going by at the speed of a sloth, laughing, and snickering directly into the prince’s face.
And when they’re finally done — Xie Lian thinks he might die from relief, impatient to get the sweat and dirt off of him.
After all, he didn’t want Hua Cheng to see him like that at all—
His plan is to get home and bathe first all go down the drain when Hua Cheng appears out of nothing but sheer thin air, waving at Xie Lian with a basket in his hand and a gentle smile on his face.
“Gege! Are we still stopping by the market?”
And to him, how could he say no?
‘No, go all by yourself and get the needed ingredients after a very HARD day of work while I skip over to our shrine and wash myself with warm water after having done nothing but drool at the sight of you all day!’
The thought makes him want to drop dead in front of his ancestors.
“Yes.. let’s go.”
Hua Cheng doesn’t miss the look of utter defeat on his face, becoming worried. “I can go on my own too, your Highness.”
Xie Lian whips his head around as quick as the wind, apology already at the tip of his tongue, immediately raising his hands to his chest and shaking his head vigorously.
“No, no! I just..”
He laughs a little, scratching his cheek.
“I feel a little filthy, San Lang.”
The feeling of worry immediately deflates in Hua Cheng’s belly, feeling the rush of relief.
“I’m all sweaty..”
And after a moment, he finds his voice again, laughing with the prince.
“I’m just as filthy as his Highness, then. It’s quite alright.” Xie Lian smiles up at him, bumping his shoulder against him.
Marveling at the sight of red maple leaves all around them, feeling a weird sense of urgency.
Hua Cheng is stunned when Xie Lian grabs hold of his hand gently, intertwining their fingers.
He’s always thought he did too much — always wondered if he was going overboard with his affections. If Xie Lian didn’t want to touch or be touched by him.
After all, he is the one who spent his time with Xie Lian loving him and adoring him even after eight centuries — yet the prince never knew who he really was that entire time.
Not until not so long ago.
Yet Xie Lian initiating physical touch always made him feel at ease, because knowing that the prince actually wanted to be with him—
It was certainly an adjustment, at first. After all, he had spent his entire life admiring him from afar, safe for the huge time rift in between them meeting for the third time.
Having his love reciprocated — he never thought he might have that, ever.
And if he had to, he would be just as thankful as long as he could be by his side.
Because even if Xie Lian hadn’t also felt the same way as him — he would’ve always been content with watching from afar, keeping an eye on his safety and health.
Because even if he had nothing in this world, he had his love to give. And no one could ever take that away from him.
It was his alone, and he would be the one to choose who to give it to.
“It feels a little silly to say it out loud, now that I think about it.”
Hua Cheng laughs, skin around his eyes creasing slightly, “It doesn’t, gege. You could never be filthy to me.”
It’s Xie Lian’s turn to laugh this time, not agreeing fully. He leans in further, walking closer to him. Trying to show more and more affection.
“Oh, San Lang.. if you just knew.”
He has spent over 800 years with terrible luck — always wandering around. He’s more than familiar with the feeling of filthiness.
Yet with Hua Cheng .. even if he says he feels filthy — that’s not necessarily the case. Because Hua Cheng would never mind such things.
Not that it matters, but .. Hua Cheng.
To Xie Lian, he is the most comforting person in his life, and he always makes him feel better about himself no matter what.
But he wants to … look best in front of him. Be clean, be strong and impressive.
He wants him to see him in a better light.
Because—
Xie Lian knows he’s not a good person. He’s not perfect in any way—
At least not if the past eight centuries were to be forgotten.
He has blood on his hands, and had a kingdom dedicated to him — His Royal Highness the Crown Prince — that fell under his power, failing his people.
But that’s not the case either, because the people of Xianle were the ones who failed him.
He tried his best. Turned his back on the heavens, knowing it would cost him his divinity, just to fight alongside the people of his kingdom when they were being attacked.
‘My believers know right from wrong.’
The first time he charged to the front lines, he was as swift as a master’s sword — cutting through the enemies like a wind blade.
But his emotions need time to process.
Always did back then, and always will.
He spent his days killing in cold blood, being absent for days just to travel miles and miles to make it rain for the citizens remaining in Yong’an so that they could have even a little relief.
Knowing that they didn’t want to stay, but couldn’t leave because they were either old, or sick.
Too weak to walk the road to the imperial city of Xianle.
The first few months he couldn’t fall asleep. Being seventeen and killing someone — a human — for the first time—
It wasn’t pretty. He wasn’t proud of it.
“To die in battle for the crown prince is the greatest honor for a Xianle Soldier!”
Whenever the battle was won, his troops would celebrate, drink wine, and throw a huge feast.
But as time went by, he would break down after every single battle.
Always forgetting his own weaknesses, and nearly collapsing at the end of each day.
And finally, the human face disease spread.
Yet back then they couldn’t have known what they had been up against — what cruel, and monstrous creature he was.
Xie Lian learned a lot of things ever since the Emperor of the previous heavenly dynasty was defeated—
Uncovering vile truths, and losing an important figure in his life, his mentor.. while knowing he had been lied to.
A figure he thought was ..
“What does gege plan on cooking tonight?”
Like a guardian, at first.
Xie Lian is startled out his thoughts suddenly, almost tripping over raised paving caused by some tree root, but—
Hua Cheng gently pulls him back before he stumbles over it, asking if he’s okay.
“Yes, thank you… I was thinking maybe we could have stew? What do you say, San Lang?”
It didn’t matter to him anymore. Thinking about it now — when he had everything he could ever ask for — was of no use to him.
Hua Cheng nods, eyebrows furrowing as if he’s deep in thought, looking pensive.
“Stew sounds perfect.”
Usually, he would throw in one or two suggestions, but—
“Then we need onions, tomatoes..”
Xie Lian raises his hand, counting with his fingers as he reads the list in his mind out loud, not noticing how he’s practically dragging Hua Cheng along.
Forgetting that their fingers are still intertwined.
“Let’s hurry, the stalls close down at six!”
And judging by the height of the sun — they didn’t have much time to spare.
They hurry down the road with quick steps, chattering and laughing through it all. Of course, Hua Cheng assists him when picking out the vegetables — they even get a basket full of pears and peaches.
Planning their little dinner at their little Puqi Shrine.
Not big, or anything special to others. But to them—
They have gathered countless memories in that small space, hoping to expand it a little in the future.
But their most intimate moments, they are fragile and new, and need getting used to.
Need time.
But the comfort in their touches, the trust and faith — in their years alive and … well, dead — it’s as if they have never spent a moment apart from each other, ever.
Of course, Xie Lian gets shy at times, but so does Hua Cheng.
Always covering his face or hiding it behind his hair when he sees Xie Lian’s flushed face and swollen lips. Averting his gaze at all times, even when they’re being intimate.
And Xie Lian—
He always hopes to tell him that his touch is welcome, that his attention when solely focused on him, which it is at all times, nearly drives him insane with want.
Wanting all of his love, attention, trust and more.
Wanting all of him.
Because now that Xie Lian knew just who he was — he did not plan on ever being apart from the man.
Unfortunately, being too shy and quiet in his nature, he’s never mentioned it to Hua Cheng.
That he wants it all, that it’s almost needed desperately.
Xie Lian knows that Hua Cheng is usually holding back, keeping his hands in what he must think is a respectful position on his lower back at all times.
Not letting them wander, and when they do — he catches himself just in time to reprimand himself.
When things get a little more heated, Xie Lian gets to experience the rare showcase of pure desperation within the Ghost King’s eye — being taken aback by the fingers digging into his skin harshly.
Not disliking it.
Because he knows that he desires him just as much—
In fact, he’s spent more time trying to make Hua Cheng finally let loose and—
Let his hands roam freely, enjoy the moment without holding back. Because Hua Cheng is a strange man, always hoping to please Xie Lian, never disagreeing with him.
“Could you place it on the table? I’ll be right back!” Xie Lian dusts off his hands before he steps out to get a fresh bucket of water to wash the vegetables and fruits.
Truth to be told, he was excited to taste the peaches — and he couldn’t wait to cut them up along with the pears and enjoy them with the Calamity.
Maybe they could sit out on the porch, gaze up at the stars—
Xie Lian shakes his head, getting goosebumps at the insanely cheesy thought.
Chuckling to himself, wondering what his life would be like if all that truth hadn’t been laid out on the table for the world to see.
The cheesy thoughts were a constant in Xie Lian’s mind now, having taken up permanent residence in his head.
Always haunting him with stupid ideas.
He huffs when he places the basket on the counter, rolling up his sleeves.
A beautiful orange light casts over the logs of wood in their little garden when Hua Cheng lights some candles around the shrine.
And now, if someone were to pass by, they could see a man in red standing near a man in white, gazing down at him lovingly — assisting with everything.
Laughing and snickering while he washes the vegetables, handing them over to the prince to chop up and throw them into the pot to simmer.
Making sure he gets all the spices and seasonings right, making sure E’ming cuts the meat properly by glaring at it.
And when Xie Lian sets the two pots — one with their stew, the other with the meat — on the stove to simmer, they glance around the shrine, making sure everything is tidy and not in need of any cleaning.
“I think we’re done for today; we just have to wait a little for the food.” Xie Lian smiles, shrugging his outer robe off and placing it on the altar.
Their shrine got some updates, mainly Hua Cheng’s doing.
They had a proper bed now, a bigger bed in a separate sleeping area, proper windows and a door that actually could be locked.
And that’s how Xie Lian finds himself closing the door, making sure it’s actually locked by pulling on it slightly.
“All done!”
Hua Cheng usually lurks somewhere in the shrine, watching Xie Lian with a glinting eye, offering his opinions on whatever he says.
Yet today, he’s been following Xie Lian around, trying to do his work as well. As if he didn’t want the prince to put in any effort.
Which he practically didn’t in the rice paddy fields, but—
“Well done, gege. Today was good.”
Hua Cheng creeps up to him from the back, gently embracing him from behind.
Xie Lian smiles, twisting in his grasp to face him — face slightly warm when Hua Cheng presses a kiss onto his lips. And yet again, he finds himself chasing it, hoping for more.
“San Lang ..”
He huffs out a breath of dismay when the taller man leans away from him, chuckling.
“Yes, your Highness?”
He starts walking backwards when Xie Lian moves forward, pushing him along until his behind meets the counter.
“Kiss me properly?” He’s voice is gentle, eyes gleaming up at him in the soft light as his skin burns, face illuminated by the candles in a breathtakingly beautiful way.
Eyelashes seeming even more thick with the shadows they cast onto his cheeks.
Hua Cheng feels his chest throb, leaning down at the shy request and pressing his lips on Xie Lian’s firmly.
Not knowing what to say when he’s feeling like that.
It’s always an emotion he can’t name, nearly animalistic — asking for more and more in his mind when the prince becomes clingy like this.
Ending up always leaving him sulking and on his tiptoes, grumbling about something.
Loving the way Xie Lian wants him to kiss him.
Their lips slide against each other smoothly, Hua Cheng sensing the prince shudder in his arms when he takes his lips between his own.
Giving it a gentle suck, not too hard but—
Feeling Hua Cheng’s teeth graze against his lip…
Xie Lian melts into his embrace within a minute, leaning his entire weight on him.
Not missing the way Hua Cheng tenses up when his leg settles between the prince’s legs.
But he doesn’t pay it any mind when Hua Cheng’s arm comes to rest on his lower back, the other wrapped around his shoulders and pressing him closer.
Pulling back with a startle when he accidentally lowers his entire weight on Hua Cheng’s thigh, a quick but intense tingly feeling shooting up into his lower belly.
The sensation makes him tense up, and he even nearly bites Hua Cheng’s tongue.
And of course, Hua Cheng immediately thinks it’s his own fault, promptly straightening up.
Ready to apologize when—
Xie Lian places his hands on either side of his chest, leaning up for another kiss, this time chaste and quick.
“You didn’t do anything.”
Hua Cheng’s exhale is shaky, closing his eye tightly as he shakes his head.
“No, I shouldn’t—“
Yet in a rare showcase of rudeness, Xie Lian interrupts him, “No! San Lang, we—“
He inhales sharply, nostrils flaring as he gathers up the courage difficultly.
“We can .. do more, I ..”
Hua Cheng listens quietly, eye widening more with each words the prince mutters, feeling—
Shy.
And feeling undeserving of it.
Not wanting to be disrespectful, or to offend the God with any shameless requests.
Even having the prince like him back, like him the way he likes Xie Lian—
It makes him feel conflicted, after all, he’s spent so long thinking he wasn’t… lovable.
And not to make Xie Lian’s efforts go to waste, he’s told Hua Cheng that he loved him countless times—
But it’s .. he’s Hua Cheng. Who could possibly love someone so monstrous?
He throws his head back in an ill-mannered fashion, gathering his emotions silently, locking them back into a box in his chest. So that not even after a minute he fixes his posture and his lips quirk up on the side.
Offering a smile in case he worried Xie Lian.
Xie Lian eyes him warily, not knowing what to think of the sudden expression of happiness when his eye says something entirely different.
Strong arms wrap around his lower back, and he melts into the man without much thinking, the tiny action now more than familiar.
Comforting.
They sway from right to left on the spot, and Hua Cheng’s chest aches.
From emotions he had kept on the down low for so long—
Now threatening to spill out of him without restraint at every single little affection Xie Lian shows him, lets him have.
“San Lang,” Xie Lian’s voice is soft, a little deep as if he were tired—
Hua Cheng lifts his chin from Xie Lian’s head and leans back a little, humming.
They never stop hugging.
“This is .. new to us both,” He starts, tasting the words on his lips before he continues. “And I love you.”
Hua Cheng doesn’t know where he’s going with his words, confusion evident in his face as he knits his brows together.
He’s about to respond to Xie Lian’s millionth confession with even more vigor, a swell warmth spreading in his chest when he’s interrupted shortly before he manages to get the words out.
“Do you .. do you think I’m lying when I tell you that?”
…
Hua Cheng pulls away from him swiftly, eyes blown wide.
“Your Highness—”
He shakes his head vehemently, looking horrified at the assumption that he might think his God was being untruthful about something as serious as love.
“I wouldn’t dare—”
Xie Lian hurriedly raises his hands, shaking his head quickly. “San Lang—”
Hua Cheng grips him by the shoulders abruptly, and Xie Lian shuts his mouth in an instant.
“I— No!” His voice is breathy, panicked while there’s a crease between his brows and Xie Lian .. he just stares at him, at the pure terror in his face.
Xie Lian didn’t mean to distress the man, but he’s noticed the constant restraint in his touches, the way he tries to keep everything as respectful as possible between them—
Even when Xie Lian tries to make things .. well, maybe he wasn’t getting the message across properly—
He certainly wasn’t going to say it explicitly, but if Hua Cheng wasn’t going to catch on, then..
“How could you say that?”, Hua Cheng mutters quietly, letting his head fall on his shoulder.
One of the few things he would not show restraint in were hugs, embraces. Whenever they slept, or when Hua Cheng caught Xie Lian with his back turned.
Only because he had realized that the prince found comfort in it — in the hugs, being close to him physically.
Becoming more and more greedy toward that certain touch himself, feeling jealousy bubble in his chest like scorching lava when other people would pat Xie Lian on the back, or put their hands on him as a greeting.
And of course, they would feel the waves of resentment oozing off of him — they were just so used to him hovering around the prince and shooting daggers at anyone who dared to approach that they didn’t mind.
But seeing Xie Lian smile and hurriedly avoid any conflict, no one ever said anything.
Mu Qing does sometimes — but that’s because he enjoys irritating the ghost king, knowing that they go way back.
Not to mention that he always gets dragged off by Feng Xin or is shooed away from the pair by Xie Lian after getting into an endless argument with Hua Cheng.
Endless because Hua Cheng thinks it’s funny to agitate the martial God at any given moment, finding the anger on his face delightful when he screams himself hoarse in a high pitched voice.
Xie Lian doesn’t speak, letting Hua Cheng embrace him tightly, feeling silly for even asking such a thing.
Then he suddenly remembers that they’re both in fact very filthy from the day before—
“I love you, too.”
Xie Lian’s heart melts. He thinks that he could actually fall to the ground and get swallowed up by it.
It’s a rush of warmth, so strong that he can’t contain his schooled expression any longer, smiling widely.
Hua Cheng doesn’t miss the way the prince holds him tighter, making an affirmative noise in the back of his throat.
They spend at least three long minutes in silence, Xie Lian craning his neck when Hua Cheng starts pressing affectionate kisses on his shoulder and his neck before pulling back with a smile.
“Dianxia, didn’t you plan on bathing?”
It’s said offhandedly, just a small reminder of Xie Lian’s plans he had told him on the way back home.
But Xie Lian takes it literally.
Does he smell bad?
“Oh—” He takes a step back, smiling awkwardly.
He had washed up in the morning, but they did spend a day in the sun while working in the fields.
Hua Cheng watches him with amusement, seeing him get embarrassed. “It’s not like that, your Highness. You told me you’d like to wash up, and you were being quite adamant about it..”
He adds a playful tone at the end, for which he receives a look from Xie Lian.
“Yeah, yeah..” He grumbles, stepping forward to steal another kiss before he finally manages to get himself off the man and walk in the correct direction with a sigh.
“I could always help Dianxia wash up.”
Xie Lian stops in his tracks, the tips of his ears reddening at the suggestion.
And while he might’ve spoken all high and mighty about wanting more earlier—
He backs away, stumbling into the counter with a nervous laugh.
“Ah.. San Lang, s¬– someone has to .. watch the food..!”
Hua Cheng watches with a glinting eye as he stammers over his words, nodding like it makes total sense, arms crossed in front of his chest.
It had always been fun to bully Xie Lian and leave him as flustered as a young princess.
Oftentimes, he would do it just to see the tips of the prince’s ears go red, just as they were now.
Xie Lian disappears behind the curtain with a big, very fake smile, pulling it closed.
“Watch the stew!”
Hua Cheng laughs loudly, to which Xie Lian buries his face in his hands, feeling mortified.
Walking around the counter, the ghost king shakes his head in amusement, lifting the lid to check on the now gooey substance in the pot.
Nodding at the sight.
It’s not long before Xie Lian steps out from behind the curtain with his inner robes on, hair damp.
Truly an eye catching sight, the water droplets running down his neck and dissolving into the soft material of his white robes.
“I’ll watch it, now. Go wash up..” He walks around the counter, hair gathered to the side as he runs a dry cloth over it to get the remaining water out.
“Hair oils are to the—” Xie Lian splutters when he abruptly runs straight into Hua Cheng, who somehow manages to appear right behind him when he turns on his heel.
Hua Cheng doesn’t laugh like he usually would, instead he holds Xie Lian tightly when he stumbles a little, helping him regain his footing.
But before Xie Lian can laugh at himself, or apologize to Hua Cheng—
His eyes widen a fraction when lips meet his instead, gently sliding against his like smooth, thick honey.
The long forgotten cloth falls to the floor as his grip on it loosens, hands sliding up Hua Cheng’s body to rest on his shoulders instead.
While intimate, the kiss isn’t heated. In fact, Xie Lian doesn’t find himself struggling to breathe like he always does when they engage in similar activities but with a far less controlled way about it.
He’s about to push himself against the ghost king when the kiss is broken, much to Xie Lian’s dismay.
They’re slightly out of breath purely because of the duration of the kiss. “Wha—.. What was that for?”
Hua Cheng laughs under his breath, leaning down to place another peck on his cheek.
“Just because.”
Xie Lian feels his face heat up a little, shuffling away from him lest he see it. “Get.. washing up..”
The taller man laughs, spinning on his heel and heading the other way, “Your wish is my command.”
Trying his best not to punch a wall out of excitement and rush of happiness the prince and kiss just gave him.
Of course, it takes them yet another hour to actually get to eating — Hua Cheng insisting on brushing his hair, and then Xie Lian being absolutely stubborn about wanting to comb his hair as well.
It’s hard to keep his eyes open, but he manages to put on a front when the ghost king is looking, shoulders slumping and eyes shutting when he turns his back.
What gets him is having to eat.
It is absolutely impossible to keep his eyes open or get the spoon to his mouth without feeling like his arm is about to fall off from how stiff his limbs have gotten.
“Is gege tired?”
Hua Cheng scoops the last spoonful up and brings it to his mouth, chewing slowly.
Meanwhile Xie Lian’s bowl is still full.
“Really, San Lang.. how can you eat this?”
Saying that the food was bad would be an underestimation.
“What do you mean? To me, it’s as delicious as it gets.” He smacks his lips in demonstration, laughing a little when Xie Lian sighs and props his chin up on his hand.
“It’s terrible, admit it!”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Hua Cheng rises to his full height, taking his bowl with him. “Gege should finish his food.”
Xie Lian sighs, going after Hua Cheng with difficulty getting up. “Forget it, I’m not hungry anymore.”
“It’s okay if you don’t want to eat the food—but you can at least try one of the peaches?”
The ghost king holds a big peach in his hand, shoving it into Xie Lian’s awaiting and confused hands, taking his full bowl.
“Alright..”
After putting the food back into the pot and rinsing the bowls, he joins Xie Lian on their sleeping mat, who has already finished the fruit that had been given to him.
“Are you going to sleep, now?”
The prince shakes his head.
Forcing the ghost king to get up again, so that they can rinse their faces with water. And when they finally can rest and sit—
Xie Lian watches Hua Cheng lie down, the way his robes twist around his waist just so.
It takes him a while to respond, looking at Hua Cheng’s face dazedly.
“Ge—”
“Beautiful .. you’re beautiful, San Lang.”
Hua Cheng freezes, eyes darting to him nervously, expression suddenly pensive.
Xie Lian doesn’t repeat himself, instead bringing his knees up to his chest and staring off into the dimly lit shrine.
“Do you not think so?”
Hua Cheng’s throat bobs up and down as he gulps heavily, feeling as if his lips are trying to seal themself shut by the second.
He manages to spit out a forced, “No.”
Hua Cheng has never been beautiful. Almost at all times, he would be in disguise, and when he wasn’t, people would still fawn over his looks.
But when you hear something so often — it sticks.
And Hua Cheng thinks he is hideous, a monster that deserves the punishment of a hundred swords piercing his abdomen and nailing him into the ground.
The eyepatch resting over the right side of his face is a painful reminder, and it’s never felt heavier than it does right now.
“Why?”
Xie Lian shifts slightly, moving closer to him and taking his hand in his.
Bringing it up to his mouth and placing a kiss on all five of his knuckles, glancing up at the man in crimson robes.
Hua Cheng gulps heavily, lips trembling. “I’m not like you, your Highness.”
“I’m not beautiful like you say,” he continues, averting his gaze. Then he remembers—
“Have I ever lied to you?”
The question hangs in the air like a water balloon waiting to shower down on someone, the tension nearly suffocating.
“I didn’t mean—”
It’s not meant to be a lesson, or something tense. But the topic of appearance is always a hard subject, almost taboo for Hua Cheng,
“I know you didn’t. It’s alright,” Xie Lian shakes his head, moving closer until his side is pressed into the taller man.
“Put the candles out?”
Hua Cheng reaches over and extinguishes the fire with his fingers, lips shut tightly.
He doesn’t have time to think or react when Xie Lian pulls him down, forcing him to be at level with his own face.
Especially not when his hand cups his face, tilting it. “Handsome,” he breathes.
“You’re beautiful.”
Hua Cheng trembles, leaning further into his palm and exhaling shakily.
They can hear the sharp metallic sounds of something rattling not too far away, and when Hua Cheng snarls, it stops.
“That’s E’ming..” Xie Lian tries to sit up, but when he goes to do so, he’s pulled back in by the ghost king desperately.
“He’ll be okay. Stay?”
And how could Xie Lian ever refuse a request like that?
He settles back against Hua Cheng, pulling a blanket over their close bodies. “Alright.”
And very soon, tiredness finally gets him, and he’s sure that Hua Cheng is saying something quietly, but it sounds awfully far away as if his head were submerged in water.
Sleep comes easily nowadays.
He once experienced a long period of time where he couldn’t sleep no matter what — up to the point that he started hallucinating. He might have been a divine being, but banishment remains banishment.
It serves a purpose, solely to punish one for their terrible mistakes.
And then, their body is not worth much more than a mortal’s fragile body.
Other than the fact that he couldn’t die so easily, and that it made his pain tolerance sky rocket.
He wakes up not even three hours later, to the sound of light rustling.
When he blinks his eyes open blearily, he can see Hua Cheng frozen in place, and by the looks of the blanket being half lifted, currently in the middle of getting up.
“I’m sorry your Highness, did I wake you?
Xie Lian sits up groggily, propping himself up on his elbows to take a proper look at the ghost king.
“No.. is everything okay?”
Hua Cheng sits up fully, sighing loudly.
“Dianxia.. go back to sleep, I didn’t mean to—”
Xie Lian knits his eyebrows together in confusion, suddenly highly alert.
“San Lang, are you hurt?” He asks, pushing the covers off him and crawling to where Hua Cheng is sitting.
“No, I’m not hurt.”
Xie Lian runs his fingers through his hair, pushing the strands out of his face, “Then why are you still awake?”
Hua Cheng hums, shaking his head. “I don’t know.”
Xie Lian nods earnestly, deciding that it makes sense. After all, ghosts didn’t need sleep.
Honestly, he’s not sure what to do. Either he goes back to sleep, which isn’t an option because he clearly didn’t want to leave the man to fend for himself, or he simply lies still until the sun rises.
“Is this .. is it about what I said earlier?”
Hua Cheng doesn’t answer right off the bat at first, rather contemplating his answer.
“You .. could you repeat it?”
Xie Lian doesn’t realize what he means instantly as he looks at him with a puzzled expression. “Repeat what?”
He licks his lips almost as if it’s paining him to make such request of his God, yet he still forces his voice out, for the sake of .. well, them.
“That.. his Highness loves me.”
Xie Lian’s eyes widen.
He’s been told that he’s loved by Xie Lian countless times—but Hua Cheng could never tire of hearing him say those words.
Nor could Xie Lian get tired of saying them, letting him know.
“I love you.” He feels his face getting warm again, the shyness that comes with admitting such a thing never having left.
It’s not new, but it makes Hua Cheng grow even more nervous, nonetheless.
Every single day he fights the urge to find some stone-hard wall and bash his head whenever he thinks of Xie Lian.
Because the happiness that comes with knowing that you’re with the love of your afterlife—
It’s immense.
With such strong emotions comes greed.
He wants more of him, doesn’t want others to touch him, talk to him. But he couldn’t possibly lock Xie Lian away; that would be cruel.
“Would you..”
Hell, if he could, he would make sure no one could ever lie their eyes on Xie Lian again—
But that would, again, be downright cruel.
“Would you be .. willing to show me?”
Because Xie Lian loves this world and the people in it.
And as long as he managed to live on, Hua Cheng would too. Act as his stepping stone, the bridge he crosses after a long battle.
But Xie Lian would never allow that.
“Show you .. how?” Xie Lian’s voice is just above a whisper, and his heart starts beating out of his chest violently when Hua Cheng leans in slightly, as if to test the waters.
To see if Xie Lian would shrink away.
And knowing that he won’t—
It makes Hua Cheng feel almost shy to plant his lips on Xie Lian’s.
Their lips part before they meet again, and this time Xie Lian’s hands come up to tangle themselves in Hua Cheng’s hair.
“Like this,” he whispers between short kisses, meeting the prince’s widened eyes.
“I love you, too.”
He presses his forehead against Xie Lian’s and listens to him pant, to his heart thump loudly against his chest.
They might’ve told each other that they were in love— but they had never done much physically, save for using their hands, or mouths.
Not at all.
Though they were connected spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.
More so than others.
They hadn’t quite grasped the idea of physical intimacy, mainly because whenever things got even a little out of control and they tried to go with the flow, they would either get interrupted or something else would happen.
Or, well, Hua Cheng ..
Hua Cheng always kept his distance; still does as he shows simple restraint by keeping his hands stubbornly on the prince’s lower back.
Not letting them roam in the slightest, respecting his God and his dignity.
Because Hua Cheng—
He doesn’t deserve to be able to touch Xie Lian, feel him, love him.
If he does — he’ll ruin everything, not being able to hold back.
But seeing as Xie Lian, in some ways, wanted him like that—
It came as a big surprise, and for more than a little while after they reunited again, he didn’t want to realize that.
But now?
His god, he—
He thinks he’s beautiful. Kind and caring.
Everything he’s been told he is by the prince; it comes rushing back to him like an intense tornado crashing into his back and taking him with it, shredding the skin on his back to bits.
Along with his self-restraint he’s been more than happy to endure and keep under tight wraps.
They have been staring into each other’s eyes for more than a handful of seconds, slightly out of breath.
One from the gentle way the other went with that wording, and the honey like kiss—
The other from the tight grip on his back, the robes twisting like a spiral. Watching Xie Lian’s wide blown eyes and parted lips with a shocked expression—
Realizing that Xie Lian is the one restraining himself right now.
Watching Hua Cheng’s every little twitch with great anticipation seeping into his expression while biting his lip.
Xie Lian was restraining himself too.
Thinking Hua Cheng didn’t want this from him, for them to have.
He looks up at him through his eyelashes, somehow feeling shyer than ever.
And Hua Cheng does too, lips trembling.
His gaze falls on Xie Lian’s flushed lips, and his heart threatens to jump out of his chest and flip-flop like a fish out of water.
That is Xie Lian’s cue to gently move forward, and up to brush his lips against Hua Cheng’s own.
He doesn’t react at first, eye fluttering shut, but when the third small peck, as light as a feather, comes..
He himself leans forward to firmly press their lips together, and a small sound of surprise comes from Xie Lian.
Yet before he can feel mortified, Hua Cheng forgets his own strength, pushing until they plop back against their sleeping mat, panting.
Xie Lian’s body is searing, his cheeks flushed as if someone had set fire to his insides and melted them into a puddle. Such overwhelming warmth: he felt lightheaded.
Jolts of electricity shoot through Hua Cheng’s body when Xie Lian lifts himself up to meet his lips halfway.
Xie Lian gently nips on his bottom lip, lightly tugging at it.
Marveling at the feeling of the man above him shuddering.
They part once more, and Hua Cheng allows his eye to meet Xie Lian’s, smiling down at him when the sight of a bright smile springs into his view.
He leans down, and Xie Lian’s arms wrap around his neck, hugging him.
Of course, Hua Cheng feels the prince’s heartbeat go wild, thumping against his chest, and he breathes him in.
Catching the faint smell of their hair oils he had rubbed into his scalp.
They can hear the rustling of leaves outside, the shrine being otherwise quiet and filled with their breathing except for the burbling of water against stone.
Hua Cheng pulls back slightly, and their lips are so close together, that any small movement would lead them to crossing paths exactly how Xie Lian wanted them to.
Except, Hua Cheng’s lips pull back a fraction and Xie Lian feels his lips twitch, lifting his head to chase after them.
But he pulls back even farther.
His impatience grows into mild frustration, yet not wanting to rush the man, he stubbornly shuts his lips and lets his head fall back against the sheets.
Hua Cheng watches him with slight amusement, knowing exactly what he’s thinking.
His lips continue to hover over the prince’s, the cold air emanating from his breath making goosebumps creep up all over his arms and neck like a fast-paced tango.
Why wasn’t he kissing Xie Lian?
Then his intentions become quite obvious as he moves his head down to his neck, gently pressing a kiss just underneath his jaw.
Xie Lian stares at the ceiling, eyes the size of saucers, fingers twitching.
He brings his hands up to tangle in Hua Cheng’s hair, and when the man presses his lips to his pulse point, his legs jerk in quite an unfashionable way.
His mouth falls open and he lets out a breathy sigh, letting his eyes flutter shut.
Hua Cheng has never even dared to look at his neck in an inappropriate way, yet here he was, absolutely binding Xie Lian’s tongue with his wicked lips.
He doesn’t mind, in fact, he tilts his head back to give even better access to the man. On one hand, Xie Lian is more than happy that Hua Cheng is willing to take this step, but—
How could he be so good at this?
Hua Cheng freezes when Xie Lian accidentally pulls on his hair, his next exhale sounding almost whiny as he tries to pull him closer, bringing his knee up.
Feeling his scalp tingle, suddenly feeling as if he were on fire as he feels an unspeakable shift in physical form.
Xie Lian doesn’t notice right away, no.
It takes him more than a few minutes of shifting and panting to realize that Hua Cheng is struggling to keep himself composed.
That’s what makes him feel mortified of his own problem, embarrassed about Hua Cheng possibly finding out. But if he were having the same reaction, why would it have to be embarrassing?
It still was.
“S..San Lang..” Xie Lian pulls on his hair again, to lift his head away from his neck, which he, after getting more than a dozen of it’s okay’s, has left littered with bruises and marks.
He brings their lips together for a short kiss, and when his tongue slips into his mouth, he feels his heart start beating faster.
In response, his arms slip down from where he has circled them around his neck, trailing down to his chest to tug on his robes.
Xie Lian glances down, and not because he wants to—
It was more of a reflex, something he couldn’t help but do .. and when he does, his face gets even hotter, the blood rushing in his ears louder than ever.
Hua Cheng averts his gaze sharply, too shy to look at Xie Lian and what he might think.
It’s almost comical when he catches a glimpse of Xie Lian’s robes, and they’re slightly off, like they’re raised—
The double take he does leaves Xie Lian covering his face with his sleeve, and Hua Cheng seems to be in a trance, not quite believing what he’s seeing while staring.
“Ugh…”
He doesn’t dare meet Hua Cheng’s gaze when he gently pries his hands away from his face, having shut his eyes tightly.
“Gege..” The man’s voice sounds breathy, almost desperate for Xie Lian to just look at him.
Eventually, he opens his eyes, the embarrassment having faded a little.
“Are you okay?”
Xie Lian nods, face still warm as he stares at his hands. It’s nearly impossible to keep Hua Cheng’s gaze when he’s staring into his eyes so deeply.
“Then, look.. at me.”
Tingles flood Hua Cheng’s system, forcing heat to course through his veins like liquid gold when Xie Lian’s eyes fall to his swollen lips.
Not knowing that his looks bruised in comparison to the red-clad man.
“Okay..” Hua Cheng’s voice is uncertain and nervous, and Xie Lian doesn’t blame him.
He himself doesn’t know what comes next.
Do they keep kissing and dancing around the subject until one of them says it’s enough? They sit in silence, the air only interrupted by Xie Lian’s heavy breaths.
“Come.. come here.” Xie Lian sits up, moving backwards until his back meets the hard wood.
Hua Cheng follows suit immediately, kneeling beside Xie Lian. “Here?”
Xie Lian grabs his wrist and nods, pulling him forward until Hua Cheng is the one in his place. He can see that the man is confused but willing to go along with whatever he is thinking, dutifully remaining in place.
Of course, Xie Lian has a vague idea of how .. it’s done between men, and he’s not entirely oblivious to the so called art of sex between a man and a woman.
That doesn’t mean he doesn’t get to be absolutely embarrassed about crawling forward until he’s on his knees just above Hua Cheng’s thighs.
As if by instinct, the ghost king’s hands come to rest on his lower back to support his weight, and when Xie Lian finally lowers himself—
It’s safe to say that the prince could fry an egg on his face if he just rubbed some oil on it.
That, and because when he put his weight down, their lower parts were very much pressed up against each other.
It takes up all of Hua Cheng’s self-control to hold his voice back at the feeling. Instead, his head falls back against the wall, and he lets out a little sigh.
“Is.. Is this okay, San Lang?” Xie Lian sounds incredibly cautious, his voice slightly high pitched in embarrassment.
“Yes,” he answers, voice slightly rough.
Xie Lian brings their faces together once more, carefully cupping his face with both of his hands.
Their lips slide against each other like honey, and Hua Cheng slowly eases into it, deciding that he was not going to think about it too much, however reluctantly.
But how could he not think about it? This was his God, and he couldn't afford being disrespectful or crossing his boundaries.
Hua Cheng knew his place; he was more than aware of it.
But Xie Lian could never stand the thought that he was above Hua Cheng.
Hell, the man would get upset if Hua Cheng said something even slightly degrading about himself.
Xie Lian tenses up when a soft sound slips from Hua Cheng mouth, right into his.
And—
God, he’s so..
For so long, he didn’t know what to do with physical contact, what to think of it or how to react to it. He would usually tense up, make a weird expression, or shrug people off with an awkward smile.
But with Hua Cheng? He leans into it. Yearns for it, initiates it.
And yet, even now, Hua Cheng’s hands remain stubbornly wrapped around his waist.
He sighs into the kiss, knitting his eyebrows and blindly fumbling for Hua Cheng’s hands. And when he finally grasps one—
He thinks Xie Lian is trying to hold his hand first, but when he moves it down and places it on his thigh instead—
Hua Cheng’s eye snaps open.
“Y—Your highness..” By the time he manages to make Xie Lian get a breath in, he himself is struggling to keep his eye open, solely focused on his hand on the prince’s thigh as his mind comes to a screeching halt.
Feeling his muscles contract whenever he leans forward, suppressing the urge to kneed the flesh. Xie Lian drops his forehead on his shoulder, panting with his mouth hanging open slightly. “Y..yes?”
Hua Cheng’s grip tightens unbeknownst to him, and with it—
Goes Xie Lian’s sanity, his rational thinking and intelligence altogether.
“You.. San Lang,” Xie Lian starts, turning his head and gently pressing his lips to Hua Cheng’s neck, stretching the robes from how he’s pulling on them.
The ghost king just lets his head fall back against the wall, hair getting messy under the prince’s moving hands.
And he—
He shudders every single time he feels those hot lips on his neck, mouth hanging open.
His hand remains on his thigh, gently squeezing the flesh from time to time, feeling the man on top of him sigh and try to move his hips.
Which is strangely hard to do when he’s on his knees, trying his best not to set his whole weight down on the man.
Only when Hua Cheng groans when he nibbles just underneath his ear—
His body is suddenly pulled down hard, and when his hips are flush with Hua Cheng’s—
“Oh—” Xie Lian shudders above him, momentarily quitting his attack on the man’s neck. It’s quick, not even long enough to react to the jolt of pleasure as it fades when Hua Cheng instantly pulls the man up by his waist.
Away from the greatest feeling he might’ve ever experienced—
They both somewhat freeze, Hua Cheng going rigid and Xie Lian blinking slowly, trying to process the undeniably amazing way the knot his stomach had twisted into.
“…I’m so—”
“Why?”
Hua Cheng waits for him to talk quietly, expecting the prince to get up and shove him away.
“Why did you.. stop?”
…
Xie Lian moves away from his neck, straightening up to take a look at Hua Cheng’s face.
He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t do anything. Just stares. And Hua Cheng—
He can’t think, can’t breathe. Can’t think, can’t breathe.
Because Xie Lian looks so..
The prince feels him shift underneath him, eyes snapping down when he feels his hand creep down his thigh again.
And before he can say anything, his lips are captured in another gentle kiss, eyes fluttering shut.
Of course, it catches him by surprise when Hua Cheng yanks him forward by the thigh, and— This time, it’s Hua Cheng who grunts into his mouth when they press up against each other once more.
Xie Lian’s eyes flutter open in panic, not knowing what to do when Hua Cheng starts rocking his hips gently.
His hand comes up to grab Hua Cheng by the shoulder, shuddering and trying his best not to bite the man’s lip as his brain shuts down completely, seemingly overwhelmed.
And of course, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed when someone does this type of thing with their lover—
The first thing out of his mouth when the ghost king releases his lips is a nervous, breathy laugh.
“Haha—ah..”
He closes his eyes tightly, frozen in place.
Jolts of electricity zap through his veins, and his belly feels like it’s on fire from the warmth pooling in his stomach.
Hua Cheng doesn’t meet his eyes just yet rather leaning in to get another taste of his neck.
A certain sharp thing drags across the collum of his throat, and Xie Lian—
His hips stutter, and it’s that certain action that spurs him on to grind them into Hua Cheng’s, meeting them halfway.
It’s a completely different feeling when he’s actively engaging in the act other than staring ahead dumbfoundedly and being frozen in place.
Hua Cheng seems surprised by the sudden movement, the sudden added on pleasure as harsh fabric glides over sensitive flesh.
And Xie Lian—
His hands are all over Hua Cheng, though shyly, not quite daring to reach into the robes, but—
Hua Cheng feels as if he’s being ravished.
More and more confident in his actions when he listens to Xie Lian’s labored breathing and noises. When he feels him shudder and tremble in his arms.
Allowing his hands to wander, too.
After being reassured more than a dozen times, he finally indulges in what might be the greatest honor to him.
Hua Cheng’s fingers twitch when he slowly moves his hand to Xie Lian’s inner thigh, hearing Xie Lian encourage him with a quiet but certain voice, breath hitching.
Trying to get rid of his shyness, to try and think through the pleasure gliding through his body.
‘It’s okay, you’re doing great, you can...’
Knowing that he doesn’t expect him to do anything he doesn’t want to do.
Listening to his voice gain a higher pitch when he pinches the flesh gently. He moves his hand up again, and Xie Lian thinks he’s placing them on his waist again, out of habit—
It genuinely take him by surprise when his hand drops down, though with slight hesitation, and grabs him by the backside instead.
“S..”
His face turns beet red, and he fights the urge to bury his face in the crook of Hua Cheng’s neck.
They were going pretty slow; in nearly two hours all Xie Lian had managed to do was get on top of the man without wanting to be swallowed up by the earth.
Hua Cheng was keeping things slow, too. Easing into everything rather than charging in without any care or plan.
Refraining from moving his hips too quickly, gently rocking them up into the prince’s.
And it’s not enough, not nearly enough.
But he would rather not overwhelm the prince too much, knowing he’s stayed celibate all his life.
At first, it was a choice, his cultivation path. Yet after he’d been banished and scorned by the world — it was more of a .. A comfort, something he didn’t want to change. Not until he met Hua Cheng again.
It was the only thing he had left, his beauty, his body.
But where would his beauty have gotten him? It didn’t save his kingdom, his people.
His parents.
All it had gotten him were kneeling statues, punishments, and the pain of a hundred swords, of loss and suffering.
Xie Lian felt punished when anyone initiated physical contact, felt repulsed.
But with Hua Cheng?
It was a comfort when he stepped out of that sedan with the help of someone’s hand and guided him through the forest with the upmost care.
A comfort that turned into punishment in the form of a thousand silver butterflies.
Feeling helpless and alone after experiencing such familiarity.
They’re not in a rush, now.
No battles awaiting them, no missions.
Taking their time with everything seems to have been the right choice when Hua Cheng loses his grip on his self-control and nearly sends the prince toppling over with a particularly harsh thrust.
And the—
Hua Cheng couldn’t have been even nearly prepared for the loud noise resonating in the room when Xie Lian slams his palm against the wall right beside his head.
Throwing his own back and struggling to keep his voice at bay.
And Hua Cheng.. it’s as though as the prince has put him under a spell.
Because all he can do is watch and deal with it when Xie Lian does anything but take his time, moving his hips with almost no control, sweat dripping from his forehead as he pants and grabs onto Hua Cheng’s shoulders.
“San ..San Lang..!”
He gasps, squeezing his eyes shut, and the next moan that rips out of him sends Hua Cheng over the edge, hands tightening on Xie Lian’s body as he throws his head back, eye going half-lidded.
Since his return — they’ve shared a handful of climaxes, and while this one might not be the most intense one he’s had, it’s still overwhelming.
So much more overwhelming because the prince doesn’t stop, writhing and moaning, too far into it to take note of anything else.
He comes with a loud cry, tensing up while tremors wrack through his body, and when the feeling fades, his head drops down on his shoulder once more.
For some time, it is quiet.
And Xie Lian, he knows they .. that this was supposed to go .. all the way. At least, that was his intention.
He straightens up when he feels Hua Cheng shift, a mildly disgusted expression on his face when he feels the cool wetness in his robes.
Hua Cheng runs his fingers up and down his back, “Are you okay?”
Xie Lian nods, way too tired to lift his head and mumbles, “Yes..”
He glances to his left, eying the window. The gloaming sky has yet to become bright, and the ..
Suddenly, he remembers just what position they’re in, what they just did, and his embarrassment rears its ugly head again. His cheeks turn aflame, and he nervously pulls away.
“A—Are you alright, San lang?” His voice cracks just a little, making him bite his lip with shame.
‘Curse me.’
Hua Cheng nods slowly, and he has yet to open his eye, having wrapped his arms around the prince to keep him locked in place.
It takes Hua Cheng a while to answer.
“Yeah..”
Xie Lian, being too afraid to move unless Hua Cheng initiates it, stays right where he is, uttering not a single word.
Hell, he even tries to keep his breathing as quiet as possible.
And it’s okay to stay like that for a little over ten minutes, but when he feels Hua Cheng’s hands run up and down his back—
“San Lang?”
His heart starts beating faster, the adrenaline pumping through his body once more.
“Your Highness?” His voice sounds deeper, more at ease now that they’ve rested. Not at all out of sorts like the prince thought he would be.
“I’m..” Xie Lian starts, twirling a strand of Hua Cheng’s hair around his finger. “I don’t think I’m .. done showing you.”
It takes a moment for Hua Cheng to realize what he’s saying, and when he does, his hands stop in their tracks.
And just for a second, Xie Lian thinks he messed up, that he scared Hua Cheng away and threw the little progress they made right out the window.
But then Hua Cheng gently pulls him away from his chest, leaning in to kiss him softly.
“Okay.”