Chapter Text
I
One
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Five
Breathy, repetitive counting falls quietly from the cracked pink lips of a small, raven-haired young man as he stands at the sink in the dim-lit single patron bathroom scrubbing his ivory skin near raw with scalding water and a copious amount of colorless foam soap. His gnawed, jagged fingernails claw violently against his hands, crimson marks blooming across his flesh with every scrape. The murmur of water drowns out each count as he steadies himself, attempting to stay on track. It's important that each count is precise, that each count is on time with the next, and if not, the ritual is tainted. He must start over.
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He scrubs and scrubs, curses falling from his open mouth as his nails frantically dig into his palms, his wrists, in between his digits, scratching hard enough to draw blood. The ritual is painful, but it doesn’t matter–the pain means he’s alive and the ritual brings him one step closer to the perfection that he craves. He needs to be clean, and his body must be pristine.
But he will never be clean, he will forever be filthy and it’s all his fault. So, he scrubs, and scrubs and–
One
Two–
Three knocks are heard on the outside of the door followed by a gentle, female voice.
“Mister Ackerman, the doctor is waiting for you.”
The man panics. His ritual is interrupted, and he remains impure.
One
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Five
_______________________
At the end of the hall is an open gray door leading into a single office. Warm golden light can be seen illuminating the space in a soft glow as shadows dance on the visible wall from whoever occupies the room moving about. The raven-haired man approaches it cautiously, padding down the short hallway until he comes upon the threshold separating him from his destination. His limbs feel heavy, and he briefly considers bolting but any thoughts he had about leaving soon fade when he hears the soft baritone of the individual inside of the space.
It's a gentle sound: calm and tranquil, warm and inviting. Like smooth, sweet honey and thick molasses, the sound permeates the smaller man’s palate and suddenly his senses crave more. He finds his feet beginning to move toward the sound, ignoring the better judgment of his fragile mind and before he realizes it, he's standing inside of the dimly lit room with trembling limbs.
He stills. A curious sensation overwhelms his body, and he feels his pulse begin to flutter in his throat. He’s vaguely aware of the quick, shallow, rise and fall of his chest and of the vibration in his bones. His skin prickles with heat and he fights the sudden urge to count, to wring his hands together, and to dig his blunt nails into his flesh.
A pair of bold, deep blue eyes are staring back at the smaller man as he stands rooted to his place on the carpet. Their owner sits in an expensive black leather rolling chair, his back turned to his desk as he faces the anxious man. Blue eyes’ gaze is soft, caring, and it makes the raven-haired’s stomach churn.
Blue eyes unfolds himself from the chair and it rolls back across the floor a few inches from the motion. The smaller man finds he can’t keep his gaze off of blue eyes’ languid, calm movements as he steps closer to him in long strides. The man is attractive in every sense of the word with his looming height, lean and toned, skin and hair like gold, and his body dressed to perfection. His long, large fingers come up to meet his face as he gently removes the thin, square-framed glasses from the bridge of his stately nose, tucking them into the pocket of his long-sleeved button-down shirt.
His smile is charming as he peers down at the smaller man, offering up what he notices is his only hand to him. The raven-haired hesitates and quickly looks away, suddenly finding the carpeted floor interesting and his ears growing hot. The taller man huffs a quiet laugh and slowly recoils his hand.
“Mister Ackerman, mm– Levi , correct?” There it is again–that voice . “My name is Doctor Erwin Smith. I was just reviewing your referral before you came in. I almost thought you were not coming,”
The smaller man– Levi –twitches where he stands, a nearly unrecognizable tic to an unknowing eye but the gesture does not go unnoticed by the doctor looming in front of him.
“Please, have a seat,” Smith motions to the plush, tanned leather sofa next to his desk in front of a large glass paned window. “We should get started.”
But Levi remains glued to the floor. His limbs feel heavy, and he begins to blink back wet. The doctor notices and steps toward him again, closing the short gap between them.
He’s so close…I can almost feel his warmth–
“Levi ,” Oh, it’s so smooth, so… “I will not make you do anything you do not want to do. But the first step in our session is to complete your intake. I need to know who you are and why you are seeking my help. If anything bothers you–”
“Is it clean?” Levi quickly asks, taking the blonde doctor by surprise as he softly shuts the door and steps back to the smaller man.
“Come again?”
Levi wrings his hands together and looks up at Smith. “The couch, is it clean ?”
Smith huffs a laugh. “I can assure you it’s as clean as it can be.”
Levi removes his hands and begins tapping his fingers on his thighs. “Lysol ?”
The blonde doctor smiles. “The leather is clean, don’t worry.”
The smaller man slowly nods and finally meets the looming man’s gaze. “Fine, okay. Let’s…get this over with.”
Levi cautiously approaches the sofa and examines it before he slowly relinquishes himself to its chilling comfort. He sinks into the leather and immediately tenses again, feeling himself becoming too comfortable in a foreign place with judging eyes on him.
The blonde sits back into his chair and turns his body just slightly to view the laptop sitting on his desk as well as a thick, spiral-bound notebook with dozens of post-it notes crammed onto its pages. Levi watches the man’s tongue flit against his thumb before he uses it to flip through the pages of the book until he settles on a blank sheet.
The smaller man peers around the room, while the doctor mindlessly organizes his disorganized workspace, and examines his surroundings. The office is small and cozy; the various greenery and minimalistic decor meant to give off the illusion of comfort, safety, and simplicity. He glances back to the blonde where he works, eyeing over a few pale-yellow forms, and notices the complete disarray of his desk. Work-related items sit on the mahogany wood, such as a black container holding various writing utensils and a stapler; a small is calendar hung on the wall to his right with each box filled with black writing. No personal items , Levi notes; in fact, the man’s office seems devoid of anything symbolizing a human life other than the blonde himself.
The doctor appears ready to begin as he turns his body back toward the smaller man, his deep, serene, blue eyes suddenly fixated on Levi’s face. His smile is gentle, and Levi watches the subtle crow’s feet near the man’s thick blonde brows deepen as his lips curl slightly upward. The taller man removes his glasses from his shirt pocket and quickly places them back on his face.
“So, Levi ,” Smith’s thumb presses down on the top of his pen. “I’ve read the referral, but it only gives me a slight idea of what you have been experiencing. I’d like for you to tell me what brings you to me.”
Levi inhales a shaky breath and taps his forefingers onto his thighs five consecutive times. Smith’s eyes dart to the motion, and then back to the smaller man’s face.
“I…I have been…I have been experiencing…um,” Levi clears his throat and looks away from Smith’s intense gaze. “I find myself counting and cleaning and it’s never enough, it’s never… right . It’s never perfect . And I have these…these thoughts that I can’t stop. They’re bad, they’re… disgusting and I want to stop them.”
Smith nods knowingly as his pen dances across the notebook awkwardly sitting in his lap. “You have obsessive thoughts, and you act on them?”
“I only act on some of them. The others are too bad, they’re too wrong .”
Smith crooks one of his big brows. “Can you explain what you mean by that?” Levi shakes his head and Smith’s pen dances again. “Okay, we’ll come back to that later. Tell me about what else is concerning you?”
The smaller man clasps his hands together in his lap so tightly that his ivory skin becomes nearly transparent. He chews on his bottom lip and considers his response.
“There are times when I can’t get out of bed and times when I can’t stop.”
The blonde hums. “Do you feel as though you are depressed at these times when you cannot get out of bed?”
“I don’t know if I’d call it that.” He answers quietly.
The smaller man begins to chew the inside of his mouth and studies the movement of the blonde’s hand, his long, capable fingers gripping the smooth, black pen. A low rumble of thunder fills the silence as the ballpoint begins to flick across the paper in Smith’s lap. The man’s eyes are set on Levi’s face as he writes, making the writing lopsided, yet strangely decipherable to the smaller man sitting a few feet away.
Smith inhales. “What about when you ‘can’t stop’? What sorts of things do you do when this happens?”
Levi considers his words as the blonde’s fingers cease their movement. He watches the man settle his big hand flat on the notebook and Levi screws his eyes shut to stifle a thought.
“Um, I…” he tries, tapping his right forefinger against his thigh. “I clean. Everything …everything.”
The blonde nods at his answer. “Do you ever find yourself engaging in any kind of violent behavior or promiscuity during these times when you feel you can’t stop ?”
The smaller man opens his eyes and stares at the blonde’s expensive leather shoes.
“Promiscuity?” He innocently questions.
Smith hums. “I apologize, let me rephrase. First, do you experience any thoughts of violence–such as self-harm or outward harm, hurting others?”
Levi’s right shoulder twitches subtly; he taps his right forefinger to his thigh five consecutive times. He doesn’t dare meet the soft expression of the doctor patiently waiting for an answer in front of him.
“I, um…I have tried… before .”
“Self-harm?”
“Yes. ”
Black flits across white. “Recently?”
“No. I was younger–a teenager.” The smaller man peers up at the doctor and his calm blue eyes appear to examine him, as if he is looking for an answer hidden in Levi’s body language.
“What about now? Any thoughts of self-harm that I should know about?”
Levi shrugs. “Maybe sometimes when things get really bad.”
Smith nods understandingly as Levi shifts his weight on the couch. The doctor averts his gaze back to his notebook.
“No thoughts of harming others?” The smaller man only shakes his head in response. “Do you experience any sexual thoughts? And are they intrusive, like the counting and cleaning?”
The question takes the smaller man by surprise, and he swallows thickly.
“I, um… yes .”
“Have you acted on them?” Crimson blooms across the smaller man’s features as the doctor continues his perfectly clinical questioning.
“I, um… no . I can’t.” Levi begins to nervously bounce his left leg.
“Let’s take a small break,” The blonde turns his body in the chair and places his notebook on the desk before turning back around to face Levi. “How are you feeling about our session so far?”
The smaller man wrings his hands together again, his gray eyes fixated on the carpeted floor. The blonde shifts his weight, crossing his left leg over his right and seeming to relax back into his chair. Levi watches from his periphery as the taller man removes his glasses from his nose again, gently placing them back in his shirt pocket.
“S’fine.”
Smith clears his throat, and a smirk plays on his lips.
“What were you studying in school?” The casual question takes Levi by surprise. His face pinches up and the blonde huffs a laugh.
“What does that matter? I got kicked out.”
“It matters that you are able to get back to your life once you are able to get your condition under control,” Levi’s sour expression fades. “So, what were you studying?”
“I was just a business major.”
Smith hums. “You were not just a business major. That’s a tough subject. What did you to do to pass the time?”
Levi swallows painfully. His mouth suddenly feels dry, the air around him is beginning to feel suffocating and the dark office is starting to close in. A loud crack of thunder shakes the building and Levi screws his eyes shut. The doctor slowly pulls his chair toward the smaller man.
“Levi? ” His gentle voice calls but the raven-haired is counting, counting, counting in his mind as he taps his fingers on his thighs. “ Levi , come back to me.”
The smaller man abruptly stands from the couch and the doctor flinches at the sudden motion. He opens his eyes and rushes toward the door, reaching for the handle immediately but recoils his hand as if burned.
“I, um, I can’t…I can’t do this, this is too much.”
The doctor stands and cautiously pads over to the young raven-haired man. Smith looks genuinely concerned and Levi isn’t sure how to take that.
“I’m sorry if I asked too much. Look, we’re almost done. I won’t ask you anymore about your condition today. I just need some more information for the chart and then I can start you off with some medications. Does this sound fair?”
Levi’s limbs tremble where he stands. Suddenly, his ears are ringing, and he finds he can’t focus on counting–can’t focus on anything. All he can see are blue eyes boring holes into his skin.
“Fine. I need to leave so please hurry.”
Smith nods his head and motions for him to return to his seat on the couch.
“I just need to ask you about your past medical history, any physical symptoms you’re having, and if you’re taking any medications–those sorts of questions. It won’t take long, I promise,” the blonde’s expression softens. “Please, have a seat.”
Another deep roll of thunder rumbles overhead and a harsh patter of rain falls onto the roof. The smaller man studies his surroundings again and reluctantly steps back over to the couch. Smith pads over to his chair and settles in again, reaching over for a stack of pale-yellow forms and his pen.
The blonde glances over the forms and sets them down in his lap. “Do you have any significant history of any heart disease? Cancer? Or anyone in your family?”
Levi frowns. “I…I’m not sure about my family but I don’t.”
“Any respiratory disease such as asthma, pneumonia?” The smaller man shakes his head. “What about any issues with your digestive tract? Oftentimes with anxiety disorders, patients experience gastrointestinal distress.”
“Sometimes I don’t eat.”
“Would you say your appetite is poor? Or do you not think about eating?”
The smaller man considers. “I–I don’t know, maybe both.”
“Any neurological issues–any seizures? What about issues with your sight, hearing, those kinds of things?” The smaller man only shakes his head; the blonde taps the ballpoint tip to the yellow paper. “Would you say you’re fairly healthy in a physical sense?”
“Aside from my fucked-up brain I’m normal, I think.” Levi deadpans as he chews on the nails on his right hand.
Smith chuckles. “ Humorous . Any surgeries?”
“No.” The blonde’s eyes seem to trail Levi’s frame, taking in the way that the smaller man appears to be vibrating with anxious energy.
“What about your sexual health? Have you experienced any issues with your reproductive organs?” The smaller man averts his gaze. “Sorry, I realize this is a sensitive topic.”
He stammers, flustered by the question. “I haven’t, I uh… no, I’ve never…”
“Good, good,” The blonde nods and moves on. “So, would you say that you would receive a clean bill of health if I sent you to a primary care physician?”
“Yeah, like I said…my brain is all that’s fucked up on me.”
Smith quickly writes something down on the yellow sheets and places them back on the desk. “We’re almost done. Where are you living right now? On campus or with family?”
“Ah, uh…a hotel. Out in Ehrmich. I don’t have family.”
“You don’t have stable housing?”
“A hotel is stable enough.”
The blonde knits his big brows together. “Is this temporary?”
“I can’t exactly get a place of my own without a job,” the raven-haired man wrings his hands together in his lap. “I have savings, so the hotel is where I am for now.”
“Noted ,” the blonde sighs and turns slightly toward his laptop, tapping the trackpad lightly with the pad of his forefinger. “Okay, I’d like to prescribe you two medications to try. The first one will be a medication for your anxiety called Valium –this is a controlled substance with the potential for abuse, so I’ll start you with a low dose and you tell me if it works, okay?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“The next is a medication called Fluoxetine –or Prozac is its common name. This will help with your anxiety and the depressive symptoms. As for the mania we will have to keep an eye on your mood shifts. I don’t want to prescribe a mood stabilizer with these until we absolutely need it,” Levi nods.
“I’d also like to start a cognitive behavioral therapy technique with you called, ‘exposure and response therapy.’ We will start this later in our sessions but there’s no need to worry about it. Each session I’d like to talk about your experiences, your thoughts–what is consuming you, what you’re feeling. This is a multifaceted approach to helping you, Levi. But the first step is that you agree to come back here and open up to me.”
Levi focuses on the blonde’s shoes again and his eyes begin to slowly trail up until they settle on the man’s piercing gaze. He hesitates for a few seconds before nodding affirmatively and a soft smile creeps across Smith’s face.
“Great. What works best for you? Morning or afternoon?”
“Afternoon.”
“Any particular day of the week?”
“No, I…any day is fine.”
“I’ll pen you in for next Monday afternoon, how does that work?” Levi nods slowly and Smith turns his attention to his laptop, tapping a few times to wake the screen again and clicking into the electronic health record. The smaller man intently watches the doctor work, taking in every motion and every detail of his confident exterior. He inhales shakily as his eyes follow the movement of Smith’s long fingers dancing along the keys and doesn’t realize he has been staring until the blonde is turned facing him once more and the man’s gaze is on his face.
“I, uh… sorry ,” he stammers out as he quickly stands from the leather, suddenly unable to look at the blonde doctor again. Levi quickly steps towards the door as Smith unfolds himself from his chair, sauntering behind him as he reaches for the handle.
“Levi , this was a great first session. You really shared a lot with me and for that I am grateful–most clients do not open up as quickly or as easily as you did today,” Levi feels heat in his cheeks and on the skin over his sternum and he quickly turns the handle, opening the door slowly. “I’ll see you next week.”
The blonde’s voice is smooth and calming, caring and tender, leaving the smaller man rushing out of the office and into the heavy downpour that awaits him outside.
II
“Good morning Doctor Smith, how was your weekend?” The mousey red-headed receptionist asks as the blonde passes through the hall towards his office. He stops at her desk and taps on the wood. A wall clock ticks somewhere nearby, and the harsh pounding of rain is heard on the roof as Erwin ponders over how to respond.
“Oh, good morning Petra. My weekend was just fine, how about yours?” He flashes a charming smile at the girl, and she blushes at his friendly question.
“It was nice although the weather was bad. This rain is really settling in, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it seems as though it is. The rain is not so bad, though–it’s quite beautiful, isn’t it? The gray sky that accompanies it? The soothing sound of it?” Erwin softly smiles as the redhead appears to be mulling over his comment. He quickly taps his fingers on the wood twice before taking his leave down the hall.
Gathering his keys from his pocket, he quickly adjusts the strap on his leather satchel slung over his shoulder, before fighting with the door handle and the lock. He inhales a deep breath and with a hard flick of his wrist the key finally turns, and he grabs the door handle, pushing the door open in one swift motion before he steps inside the dark space.
He pads over to his desk and sets both his bag and keys onto the wooden surface before walking over to the light switch for a quick flip. The LEDs in the ceiling flicker and buzz a few times before settling into a steady harsh white light. He blinks a few times as his pupils adjust to the brightness and eventually settles his heavy body into his chair to begin his many monotonous tasks of the morning before clients begin showing for their appointments.
He thumbs through a hefty stack of files sitting on the right side of his desk and grabs four, setting three of them to the left and flipping open the remaining one. The blonde’s eyes scan the documentation inside before grabbing his laptop and lifting up the screen.
Thunder rumbles overhead as the doctor prepares for his first appointment of the morning, thumbing across the trackpad of his laptop and tapping a few times into the electronic health record. He scans over his morning schedule, taking note of the patients he’ll be seeing for the first few hours and mentally preparing himself for the uncertainty that awaits him when each client walks through his door.
0830
The doctor stands from his chair and pads over to the light switch, flipping it effortlessly to turn off the bitter bright LEDs so that he can turn on the corner lamp for warmer tones and open the blinds for natural light. Not much will shine through the window today, however, as a relentless rain is still coming down from the dark, gray skies. Mitras has certainly seen its fair share of rain this winter, an unusual weather pattern in comparison to previous years where snow is typically falling by this time of the month and the temperatures are at or below freezing. Instead, thunderstorms are plenty and the temperatures hover just above freezing–cold enough to make everyone miserable but not cold enough to create a white winter-scape.
Erwin sits back down and checks the watch on his only wrist–his first client is late, but he’ll blame it on the miserable skies and give the man a few extra minutes. In the meantime, he settles back and glances over his schedule for the day again–his new client is on the docket for the last appointment of the afternoon, and he finds himself looking forward to his latest challenge. He mindlessly clicks into the man’s health record on his laptop and scrolls through his completed intake before thumbing back up to the top to peer at the photo taken of him by the receptionist. The doctor smirks and a soft rapping of knuckles is heard on the doorframe, stealing his attention away from the screen.
“Mister Yaeger?” The doctor questions as a scruffy bearded blonde male with round glasses shuffles into the room. The bearded man’s eyes do not meet the doctors’, instead he settles on staring at the couch. “You can have a seat and we’ll get started.”
Erwin watches his patient trudge to the leather sofa before sitting down slowly and sinking in; he slouches in on himself and nervously bites the dry skin on his lips. The doctor turns to his computer and thumbs out of the raven-haired patients’ file before clicking into his present clients’ information and quickly mulling it over.
“Zeke, you’ve missed two of our last sessions. How come?” The doctor watches as the man anxiously fixes his glasses back on the bridge of his nose before scratching behind his ear.
“I, uh…I couldn't make it. I was busy.” He speaks quickly, his words nearly slurring together.
“Ah-huh, have you been taking your medications as prescribed?” Smith grabs the man’s file and flips it open, settling on a couple of lined forms before grabbing a pen and clicking it.
“Yeah, yeah sure.” He quickly answers.
“I’m not convinced. Do you understand the reason for your sessions with me, Zeke?”
The scruffy blonde speaks rapidly, shakily as Erwin writes. “Yeah, my dad–my bastard dad thinks I need help , but there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m perfectly fine, perfectly wonderful. I’m a powerful man, a powerful–”
“I see you haven’t been taking your medications.”
“I don’t need medications, I’m a great, powerful man, if I take those medications then the beast goes away, the beast has to save everyone on the island and–”
Erwin cuts him off. “Your delusions of grandeur are as strong as ever,” the blonde sighs and places the file on his desk alongside his pen. “Do you remember what happened the last time you stopped taking your medications? The police found you destroying property in Mitras, and you were going for the Queen next, do you remember that?”
The scruffy blonde begins scratching at his forearms and nodding quickly.
“Right, and then they committed you and threw you in solitary for over a week. Do you want that to happen again?” Smith's gaze on the man is dark, bordering on threatening as Zeke slowly meets his eyes with his own.
“No, no, no. They can’t do that to me again, they can’t put me there again–”
“Then, Zeke, I need you to commit to taking your medications and you need to come to these sessions. I can’t have you skipping them. The next time the police catch you, I may not be able to save you.”
Zeke quickly nods and bounces his right leg as Smith turns to his notes once more and places them in his lap.
“Good, now let’s get started.”
__________________________
“Doctor Smith, I heard that you have a new client from the university. How is that going? We don’t usually get young ones.”
Erwin turns from the refrigerator and peers over at his messy-haired coworker, their glasses sitting crooked on their nose as they stare at their phone screen in front of their face. Erwin turns back and grabs a paper bag from one of the shelves before shutting the door and padding over to the table to sit.
“Yes, well his case is fairly severe, so I decided to take it. And he isn’t that young, he’s twenty-one–almost twenty-two.”
“What’s his deal?” His coworker asks, mouth full of food.
Erwin clears his throat. “Hange, you know I’m not going to disclose that information to you.”
Hange deflates. “Damn, I was hoping for something good. I’m bored, all of my patients are the same day in and day out!”
“Yes, that’s how it works. Same problems, same solutions.” The blonde pulls out a wrapped sub, removes the paper from around it and bites into the soft bread roll. Hange places their phone on the table and begins to plead.
“C’mon, give me something. I’m so bored of the same depressed wives and all of those sexually repressed husbands!”
“Absolutely not.” He snaps as he chews.
“Ugh, fine. Keep your secrets then,” Hange sighs. “Is he cute?”
“Hange , stop.” Hange waves their hands dismissively as Erwin bites into his sandwich again.
“Damnit, okay fine . Anything new with you other than your client? Any hot dates?”
Smith shakes his head. “You know the answer to that question, why even ask it?”
“Oh, Erwin…you’re such a sourpuss. So committed to your work, never having any fun.”
“I don’t really have the time for it.”
“Excuses, make time for it. Moblit and I have set aside time outside of work to go on trips and just get away . You should try it sometime. Might make you less uptight.”
Smith simply nods and continues to eat instead of engaging in a pointless conversation that he knows will go nowhere. Hange fills the empty space with nonsensical gab about their fun-filled weekend that only serves to cloud the blonde’s mind when all he wants to focus on is the rest of his day–the rest of his patients. Their talking begins to sound like static and he feels his brain begin to pulsate in his skull. About halfway through his lunch, he decides he's had enough of the forced socialization and abruptly stands from the chair.
“I'll see you later, Doctor Zoe.”
Hange purses their lips together and crooks a brow, their eyes following the tall blonde out of the stuffy room.
1550
Smith taps the pads of his fingers against the mahogany desktop as he stares at the time display in the right corner of his computer. He sits up straight, clicks into the record of his next, and last, client and begins mulling over the man’s information before typing a few notes into the provided space. He hears the receptionist down the hall greet the young man, followed by a crescendo of footsteps on the tile floor outside before they cease altogether.
“Levi , come in,”
The smaller man slowly steps into the room and Erwin unfolds himself from his chair, walking over to greet him before motioning for him to sit. Levi obliges and slowly steps over to the sofa before glaring at it with scrutinizing eyes.
“It's clean.” The blonde smiles at the smaller man before he takes his seat back in his rolling chair.
The raven-haired scans the couch before finally relinquishing himself to its cooling discomfort. Erwin gathers his paperwork and a pen.
“So, have you tried the medications I prescribed to you?”
Levi huffs and nods. “Yeah, they make me feel like shit. How the fuck are they supposed to make me better?”
Erwin hums. “Tell me what you're experiencing with them.”
“Valium makes me sleep,”
Erwin nods. “Yes, you should only take it as needed for bouts of unbearable anxiety or insomnia. What else?”
“The other one makes me sick, makes me feel worse. Useless almost. I don’t wanna move or do anything but...” He hesitates to continue and folds in on himself as Erwin fixes him with a scrutinizing gaze.
“That medication may take up to four weeks of consecutive use to show its true effects. Give it some time and try to stick with it.”
The smaller man nods sheepishly and chews on his bottom lip as Erwin’s vision catches the nervous motion. Silence envelops the room for a few seconds as Levi shifts his weight on the couch, the doctor’s eyes following his every move until a rumble of thunder shakes the blonde back to reality. He clears his throat and looks over at his laptop, breaking his gaze on Levi’s lithe body. The smaller man seems unfazed.
“Anything else?”
Levi anxiously taps his fingers on his thighs. “None of that shit has stopped my fucked-up thoughts, I thought they'd help at least a little but all I wanna do now is sleep and that doesn't help me at all, when I'm alone with my thoughts I…”
Erwin’s expression shifts from his normal look of concern to something akin to curiosity. “When you say fucked-up thoughts, what do you mean? When you need to count or to clean or something else? Are you thinking of hurting yourself?”
Levi seems to consider his response for a moment as he bounces his right leg. “No, it's nothing like that. I…I don't…I don't know if I can talk about it. Sometimes my thoughts get all cloudy and I wanna do things I shouldn’t.”
The blonde crooks a brow as his eyes scan the smaller man again. “Can you elaborate on that?”
“No , I don't want to,” Levi suddenly appears terrified. “I'm afraid…that if I talk then…”
“Then what? Levi, this is a safe space. There's nothing to be scared of here, I'm not going to judge you or hurt you.”
“I used to get my fucking ass beat when I was younger for this shit, used to get called names and,” Levi deflates. “I can't. ”
The doctor nods understandingly and a soft smile appears on his face. “It's okay, don't worry. You can talk about it in your own time,” Erwin turns to his notes. “Let's move on, yes?”
Levi shakes his head in agreement.
“When we first talked, I discussed something called exposure response therapy, right? I'd like to go through it with you and see if it will help with your OCD.”
The smaller man nods and shifts his weight again, placing all of his attention on the doctor seated a few feet away gazing back at him. Thunder rumbles through the small building, shaking everything for a few seconds before the vibration slowly dissipates and the patter of rain is all that is heard between the two seated men.
Erwin breaks his gaze and looks at his notes. “Let’s begin, shall we?”
Levi struggles greatly during their first true therapy session, his very visible anxiety getting the better of him as Erwin attempts to calm him multiple times before the raven-haired man finds he can’t take any more of his repetitive efforts to expose him to his fears and he comes unglued at the seams. By the end of the hour, the smaller man is a frustrated mess of vibrating flesh and Erwin brings the session to a grinding halt. The blonde watches the young man tap his fingers to his thighs five consecutive times and screw his eyes shut as he attempts to ground him with a deep-breathing technique that slowly, but surely, works. Levi stills, and Erwin rolls his chair closer to him, cupping his palm to the smaller man’s knee.
Levi blinks his eyes open and stares down at the large hand placed gently on his leg. The doctor speaks calmly, his soothing baritone like music to the smaller man’s ears.
“I think that’s all for today,” Erwin fixes his gaze on Levi’s features and their eyes finally meet. “You did well today, Levi .”
__________________________
The heels of Erwin’s leather oxfords clap against the tile flooring of the foyer as he walks towards a set of silver elevators and as soon as he reaches them, he presses the pad of his forefinger to the up square and steps back. A chime rings out, the doors slowly open and the blonde steps in. Just as the doors begin to close, a thin, pale hand snakes its way between them and on steps a frazzled, petite, dark haired woman, fumbling with her purse and her raincoat. She flashes Erwin an apologetic smile and turns around. The blonde leans against the back elevator wall and peers around the space before his eyes roam back to the woman.
Her dark hair is tied up, revealing a soft ivory nape, and Erwin’s mind suddenly wanders back to his last client, to the feeling of Levi’s pale flesh under the pads of his fingers when he gently caressed his neck right before he exited the office. He can still feel the way his skin rose and how the short hairs of his undercut stood on end as he subtly snaked his fingers across the smaller man’s brunette strands; can still see Levi’s gray eyes the moment he looked up at him and relaxed into the feeling of his large palm on his body. The smell of his slightly dried rain-soaked hair still invades his senses as he stands there in a trance until the chime of the elevator is heard once more and the blonde inhales a shaky breath before the doors open to let him off. He gives the woman a friendly smile as he exits and begins his short walk down the hall.
Erwin’s apartment is dark and chilled when he enters it, dropping his bag and keys to the foyer table before walking down the short hallway to the main living space. He adjusts the thermostat in the room, increasing the temperature just slightly before exiting to his bedroom in the back. He unceremoniously sheds his clothing, placing the bundle of garments into the laundry basket in his connected bathroom. He steps over and flips on the shower, deciding to warm his cold bones under a near-scalding stream.
As soon as steam begins to rise from the chilled tile, he steps inside and allows the door to shut behind him. The stream pelts his skin as he leans into it, raking his fingers through his blonde locks to wet them completely before deciding to close his eyes and relish in the heat of the shower. After a few seconds of listening to the murmur of water from the shower faucet, he finds his mind wandering into a dangerous territory. But now that he’s home and away from wandering eyes and exasperating colleagues, he allows himself the opportunity to indulge in his perversions.
Soft black hair invades his vision again; steely eyes plead with him as his fingers caress ivory flesh. Unlike any sane doctor, Erwin willingly fails to shake all of the unhealthy thoughts from his mind. He feels his cock twitching and he quickly palms it, wrapping his fingers around its sizable girth. The alluring movement of the raven-haired man’s small mouth as he speaks with such nervous energy sends a chill up his spine and he slowly strokes his shaft to life.
He's like a gift–an untouched, unsullied treasure.
He could be mine–oh, the things I could teach him, the things I could do for him…what I could do to him.
No one has ever laid a finger on him, no one has ruined him…
Erwin sighs deeply at his own touch, at the feeling of his palm cupped around his cock as he shamelessly visualizes his petite patient knelt down on his knees, working his sweet mouth around his shaft, teasing his sensitive flesh with the tip of his tongue.
…but I could ruin him.
Such beautiful ivory skin; soft, dark hair and…those stormy gray eyes.
The way his thin brows knit together when he concentrates, the pursing of his lips–is that what he will do when I fuck him?
The blonde’s breathy moans reverberate off of the chilled tile wall as he pumps his cock with his hand, the image of his young patient like a brand on his brain.
Will he let me mark him, sink my teeth into his flesh for everyone to see?
Erwin groans and furrows his brows, screws his eyes shut as he feels heat pooling in his abdomen and his orgasm threatens to take control.
Does he moan sweetly, or does he hold his breath? Will he cry when he comes, will he let me fill him up?
“Ahh, fuck– ” The blonde blinks his eyes open as water from the shower head drifts into his vision and he comes into his hand, gently stroking himself through it before releasing his cock altogether and pressing his palm to the adjacent tile wall. He holds himself up for a few moments and allows the scalding stream to batter his flesh once more before beginning his monotonous tasks, and finally exiting the space.
III
Weeks have passed since their first encounter as patient and doctor, and Levi’s progress is slow, but steady. Erwin sings his praises after each one, sweet nothings that send a shock to the smaller man’s brain and he finds his unbridled fondness for the blonde doctor growing with every approval from his soft, full lips.
That seemingly pure affection quickly turns into something else entirely, something wild and unhinged. Levi approaches each appointment with renewed vigor as he walks into the intimately lit office space and once his eyes fall on the taller man stepping towards him, his hand invitingly stretched out to the leather sofa, he finds his groin aching and his troubled feelings resurface.
Levi finds that on his seventh session with the warmhearted and affectionate doctor, he struggles to keep his deviant, obsessive thoughts at bay and decides to openly discuss them with the man before he acts on them.
Smith is peering down at the notes in his lap over the rim of his glasses when Levi opens his mouth to frantically speak.
“I keep having these thoughts about sex , they’re horrible and disgusting and I can’t stop thinking about how much I want it, how I need it but it’s wrong, it’s filthy and I can’t–”
The blonde’s sudden expression of shock stops the smaller man’s ramblings, and he looks down at his hands before wringing them together in his lap. Smith places his notepad on top of the desk and leans forward into Levi’s space.
“Levi , that was quite a lot–can you elaborate on what you’re feeling?”
The smaller man shakes his head in defiance. “No, no, I shouldn’t, I don’t wanna get beaten or thrown in the fucking hospital–”
“Levi, I’ve told you before, but I’ll remind you again. This is a safe space, anything you tell me here is kept on record and in confidence. I wouldn’t dare tell a soul what you share with me. I won’t throw you in the hospital, either, unless you were a danger to yourself or others,” the blonde sits up straight in his chair and crosses his left leg over his right knee. “ Tell me what you’re thinking .”
The command makes Levi shiver and his eyes roam all over the attentive blonde before settling on his broad chest. He drinks in the sight of the soft fabric of the man’s sweater and how it stretches across his breasts to accommodate the wide space.
“I…I wanna be punished .”
Smith clears his throat at Levi’s declaration and notices how the smaller man stares straight ahead, his nearly dazed eyes fixated on his chest.
“What do you mean, Levi? What do you want to be punished for?”
Levi inhales shakily and swipes his tongue across his bottom lip. “I’m a filthy, disgusting man and I’ll never be clean .”
“Why do you think this of yourself? Has someone said this to you before?”
Levi considers and his eyes focus on the blonde man staring back at him with wide-eyed curiosity.
“My uncle used to beat me, he’d bloody me up and tell me no one would ever touch me because I’m sick and twisted, that men aren’t supposed to fuck other men and that I’d burn in hell.” His gaze suddenly shifts to the blonde’s open lap until Smith’s voice registers somewhere above him.
“Levi , look at me,” The blonde rolls his chair closer to the smaller man and plants his hand firmly on the inside of Levi’s right thigh.
He’s close, so close…I could reach out and touch him, I could–
“No one will punish you for being attracted to the same sex; your thoughts aren’t filthy or sick, in fact homosexual relationships are quite normal today. You have nothing to be ashamed of.” A smile plays on the doctor’s lips and Levi inhales shakily before shifting his gaze to his thigh where Smith’s hand still rests.
Levi suddenly feels his heart hammering in his chest, and he breaks contact with the doctor, abruptly standing and quickly walking to the door. He reaches for the handle but Smith’s hand on top of his own stills him. His body stiffens as he attempts to turn the knob.
“I…I need to go ; I can’t be here .” Levi chokes out as the doctor nearly cages him in against the door.
“Levi, we’re making progress. Don’t let this deter you from getting better.” Smith’s voice causes the raven-haired to tremble, the sound snaking through his tympanic membrane and burying itself deep in his gray matter.
“I can’t, I may do something you’ll regret.”
The smaller man twists the knob and pulls the door open, quickly slipping out of the space and down the hallway.
____________________
Levi misses three consecutive sessions and Erwin strongly considers the possibility that his endangered patient won’t be returning. His attempts to call the man–whether it be him directly or his receptionist–are an utter failure but the blonde keeps his appointments on the books in the hopes that he’ll return. When Levi left his office in a panic, he briefly thought about following him to ensure his safety but by the time he made it out of his office building and into the street, the smaller man was nowhere to be seen.
Erwin taps away at his laptop one afternoon, gazing over at the large window to sneak a few eyefuls of the snow shower slowly blanketing the city in a fluffy white powder. He checks the time on the right-hand corner of his computer screen and notes that he should probably close up the office before too long as the city is preparing for its first winter storm of the season and all of his clients have canceled their appointments in favor of remaining at home and safe. He knows he’ll be caught in the hellish blizzard if he stays too much longer.
His receptionist bids him a good afternoon before hastily taking her leave alongside his office partner Dr. Zoe. Erwin closes his laptop and organizes the various notes and paperwork on his desk before flipping off his corner lamp and gathering his belongings for the long trek home.
As he locks up his office, the sound of frantic knocking is heard on the front door of the building, and he curiously pads down the hallway to the main entrance towards the noise. Absolutely no one should be attempting to get into this building at this time, but he assumes Petra may have left something behind, so he quickly turns the deadbolt to unlock the door. Seconds later, it opens on its hinges and Erwin’s eyes land on a small man in a hooded jacket, hands in the pockets and head down. He quickly registers that the hooded figure is Levi, and the smaller man appears to be freezing as his body trembles where he stands on the steps.
“Levi, what are you–”
“I had nowhere else to go.” He states as his teeth chatter and his eyes remain on the concrete step below his feet.
“What do you mean? Where have you been? You’ve missed–”
“I’m freezing, aren’t you going to let me in?”
“I’m afraid we’ve closed up the office for the storm; what do you mean you have nowhere to go?”
Levi finally looks up and the blonde’s gaze softens at the sight of the smaller man’s empty eyes and lacerated lip. He reaches out and gently touches the pads of his fingers to the bloodied abrasion and Levi leans into the gesture.
“What happened? Who did this?”
“Doesn’t matter.” He mutters, looking away from the taller man.
Erwin glances around at their surroundings before stepping out onto the steps and firmly closing the door shut behind him. He turns and keys the deadbolt to lock it and faces the raven-haired once more.
“Come with me. ”
Levi slowly follows the taller man to the adjacent parking lot where Erwin’s car sits covered in white and he clicks a button on his key fob. The blonde opens the passenger side door quickly and motions for Levi to get inside, to which he obliges. He watches Erwin step around the front of the vehicle, open the driver’s side door and slip into the leather seat. His warm breath can be seen as he quickly exhales, turning the key in the ignition to start up the engine. Levi shivers and the blonde quickly flips on the heat and prepares his car for their departure.
IV
Erwin’s apartment is chilled once again as he steps inside, motioning for Levi to come in and once he does, he gently closes the door behind them and locks both the deadbolt and knob. The smaller man pads through the hallway, drinking in the sights of the nearly sterile space. The blonde’s home isn't sterile in a clean sense, more like uninspiring and bland–maybe a little cold –with minimal decor and furniture. It's clear to Levi that the doctor utilizes his home for his most primitive needs.
The blonde watches curiously as the young raven-haired steps around his space, tracing his forefinger along the surface of various pieces of furniture as he moves about each room. He reaches the living room and Erwin motions for him to sit on his plush sofa before exiting to the kitchen.
Levi hesitates only for a moment before lying back onto the couch to wait for the taller man to reappear. He hears the sound of glasses clinking on a hard surface in one room over, followed by the unmistakable sound of pouring liquid. The raven-haired feels the corners of his mouth turn up at the noise before he hears Erwin’s heavy footsteps on the hardwood floor seconds later.
The blonde appears in his periphery holding two hefty drinking glasses, one short filled halfway with a pungent amber liquid and the other a taller glass which Levi quickly realizes is full of water. Erwin passes the tall cup to the smaller man, and he easily takes it, raising it to his lips to take small sips. The blonde sits down next to him and props his feet up on the coffee table in front of them, releasing a heavy sigh before raising his glass to his mouth.
Levi watches the way Erwin’s throat works as he swallows, how the muscles contract and how his Adam's apple bobs. The doctor reaches forward and relinquishes his glass to the wooden surface before leaning all the way back onto the sofa and throwing his left arm over the backrest. Levi sinks into the comfort of the plush cushioning of the couch.
“Levi , tell me what happened.”
The smaller man noticeably tenses, and Erwin mindlessly raises his fingers to the back of Levi's neck, settling them on his chilled flesh.
“It’s nothing; I’m okay.”
“You’re clearly not, you’ve been hurt. Who did this to you?” The blonde’s fingers rub gentle circles around the smaller man’s hairline before his motion abruptly stops.
“Why’d you stop?”
“Tell me who hurt you. The blood on your lip is fresh; this happened today, didn’t it?”
“It was no one–just some guy, some crazy guy.” Levi shifts his weight in a desperate attempt to move himself closer to the blonde who nearly looms over him where he sits. Erwin leans forward and reaches for his glass, raising it to his lips again for a quick sip.
“Why have you missed our sessions? You know it’s important that you come to each one. Have you been taking your medications at least?”
Levi nods sheepishly and taps his fingers to his thighs. Erwin’s eyes roam the smaller man’s figure while he continues to languidly sip his amber liquid.
“Yeah, I have. I think they may be helping now,” The smaller man gazes up at the blonde and Erwin clears his throat before placing his glass back down on the table.
“When you said you didn't have anywhere else to go, what did you mean? What happened to your hotel room in Ehrmich?”
Levi averts his eyes, and the blonde returns his hand to the back of his neck. The raven-haired quietly sighs and leans into the touch. “I…I got kicked out. I’m sorry, I know I shouldn't have come to you. I can go–”
Erwin presses the pads of his fingers into the flesh at the base of Levi’s skull and the smaller man stills. “ Don’t. ” The doctor digs into his skin lightly before slowly releasing his grip and gently raking his fingers through Levi’s dark locks instead.
“Doctor Smith, I–”
“I can’t possibly have you leave in this snowstorm, can I?”
Levi inhales shakily and nervously drinks the water from his glass as the blonde’s lidded gaze on his face makes his skin prickle. He swallows hard and places the now-empty cup on the table.
“I guess not.” He breathily replies as the blonde brushes his hair away from his face before pressing his palm to his forehead.
“You’re warm; are you feeling ill?”
“I…I think the cold may have gotten to me.”
Erwin traces the smaller man’s jawline with the tip of his forefinger before thumbing across his bottom lip, pulling down lightly to reveal his teeth. Levi's eyes flutter at the touch before the blonde recoils his hand and inhales deeply.
“I'll get you some more water.”
The smaller man’s eyes trail the blonde’s sudden movement as he stands from the sofa, swiping the tall glass off of the table before languidly exiting the room.
Erwin pads around his kitchen, feeling his rapid pulse thrumming at his temples and he steadies himself against the counter. Every ounce of him should be screaming to flee, every fiber of his being should be telling him that Levi’s presence in his home is dangerous but when he stills himself, all he finds is this incessant need to find out how far he can truly go–how depraved he can be.
When he returns to the smaller man still seated in his living room, he stops just shy of the couch and doesn't dare move a muscle. He drinks in the sight of the raven-haired’s splayed locks across the edge of his sofa, his head rolled back against the cushions, his eyes gently shut. Erwin finds his limbs moving towards the smaller man as he slowly steps around the furniture, placing the tall glass on the table before sitting down. Levi opens his eyes but doesn’t move. The blonde traces the curves of the smaller man’s throat with his lidded gaze and quickly picks up his glass of amber liquid. The smaller man watches from his periphery as the blonde desperately swallows the remainder of his bourbon.
“Doctor Smith,” Levi turns to the taller man, shifting his petite body closer to him enough to feel the warmth radiating off of his clothed skin. Erwin’s brain feels as if it’s swimming in his skull as the smaller man closes the distance between them to plant his small hands firmly onto his thighs. His expression darkens and the blonde feels his heated gaze chill his spine. “ Do you like it when I touch you like this ?”
Levi massages the man’s thighs with his palms, snaking his hands further toward his groin as Erwin watches the motion through lidded eyes. Levi takes note of the blonde’s growing arousal and teasingly dances his fingers across his clothed cock before gracefully seating himself in his lap.
Erwin finds himself blinking a few times, his lids becoming heavier by the second as Levi caresses his broad shoulders, massaging his thin fingers deep into the muscle and tissue at his neck. The smaller man leans forward, pressing his own erection against the blonde’s abdomen and slowly presses his mouth to Erwin’s neck. He rolls his head to the side and allows the young raven-haired man to brush his lips against his flesh without resistance.
Levi’s hands trail Erwin’s upper body, snaking down his stomach until his fingers slip underneath his shirt, his chilled digits languidly reaching the blonde’s thick breasts.
A low groan falls from the blonde’s throat as the smaller man’s palms ignite a fire across his flesh, and he fights to contain himself. Erwin’s head is spinning with want for the young raven perched on his thighs, grinding his constricted cock against his stomach while his small hands massage his chest.
“Levi…” The doctor breathes out, as Levi ruts against his body, moaning into his neck.
“Touch me, you know you want to.” The words slip from the raven-haired's lips tauntingly and Erwin’s sudden grip on his ass stills him for a few seconds.
Levi lifts his head up and studies the blonde's dazed eyes and without warning, Erwin’s consciousness slips from him.
____________________
Erwin blinks his heavy eyes open and slowly comes to, registering his surroundings as his own bedroom as he lies in his own bed. The space is dark with only a sliver of moonlight bleeding in from underneath the drawn curtains.
It was only a dream .
He attempts to move but his body doesn't feel like his own and his limbs feel constricted. He jerks his single arm and searing pain flowers down from his shoulder to his wrist. He groans and turns his head, attempting to focus on the source of the hurt.
His pupils finally seem to adjust to the nighttime darkness of the room and when his eyes land on the reason for his inability to move, his breath catches in his throat, and he startles. There’s a necktie–one of his own, a silken strip of green fabric, holding his wrist in place above his head, tied to the headboard in a double-knot. He jerks both legs upward and feels the same strange resistance at his ankles, as he pulls against more of his own knotted ties. He quickly realizes that not only are all three limbs tied to his headboard and foot board, but his body is completely exposed.
Erwin should panic. He should fight against the very clear restraints, but he doesn't, he only lifts his head from the carefully placed pillow and peers around the shadowy room until his eyes land on the unmistakable figure of his young patient sitting in the corner armchair, his chin tucked to his chest, asleep. The blonde groans at the sight and quietly attempts to break his arm free.
Levi awakens instantly and quickly stands from the chair, his eyes wide and laser-focused on the struggling blonde, almost as if he was never asleep at all. Erwin doesn’t notice him at first, but when he does, he finds his brain going haywire.
The raven-haired steps over to the bed, and gracefully slips onto the mattress, working his agile body onto the taller man’s unclothed groin. He seats himself there and stares down at Erwin.
“Shhh, don't try to move,” Levi presses his palms to Erwin’s chest and leans forward, rubbing his hands in gentle circles on the man’s chilled flesh. “It may hurt if you do; I didn't wanna hurt you, but I think I may have dislocated your shoulder trying to get you up here. You're a big motherfucker.”
Erwin’s blue eyes are wide with deranged curiosity. “Levi, what have you done?”
“It's nothing, I just slipped some of my Valium in your drink,” He deadpans, his gray eyes lidded as they roam all over the body beneath him.
“You what ?” The blonde breathily asks, attempting to mask his strange fascination behind a frightened expression.
“I just wanted you to relax, Erwin .” The young man rakes his pale fingers through Erwin’s soft, blonde locks and brushes a few strands back off of his forehead.
“Levi, how much did you give me?”
Levi quickly averts his gaze, turning his cheek into his shoulder. “I dunno, maybe five or six pills?”
“Fuck, ” Erwin closes his eyes and kisses his teeth. “Why did you tie me up?”
The raven-haired keeps his gaze away from the questioning blonde as if embarrassed, although Erwin suspects he’s not . “I didn't want you running away,”
Erwin tries. “I’m not–”
“And I don't want you to struggle.” A devilish smirk plays on the smaller man’s lips at the admission. The room falls silent aside from the breathy moans of the smaller man as he begins grinding his ass against the blonde’s twitching cock. Erwin gazes up and the bleeding moonlight illuminates the young raven-haired’s face, the tantalizing sight of his small, open mouth driving the blonde to madness.
“Levi, what are you planning to do?”
The smaller man gyrates his slender hips and the blonde’s better judgment quickly slips from his loose grasp. “I just wanna make you feel good, Erwin. ”
The doctor’s baritone command rings low in Levi’s ears. “Untie me, Levi. Now. ”
Levi lunges forward, cupping his palm over Erwin’s mouth as panic washes over his pale face. “ No! No, I can't…I can't untie you, you'll throw me out, I–”
Erwin pulls against the tie on his wrist and focuses back on the smaller man’s eyes. “Levi, listen to me–”
Levi’s expression suddenly darkens and the blonde’s skin prickles. “Don't you find me attractive?”
“Fuck. ” The taller man breathes out as he jerks his wrist against the tie.
Levi cocks his head like a confused dog to a strange sound. “I see the way you look at me…you don't wanna fuck me, Erwin ?”
Erwin groans as Levi’s hands snake across his breasts, his fingernails raking through his coarse blonde hairs. The blonde feels his cock pulsate against the smaller man’s ass and Levi softly moans above him.
The raven-haired lifts off of Erwin’s groin and slips down between his thighs. He stares wide-eyed and hungry at the blonde’s erection and Erwin lifts his head from the pillow to peer down his nose at the young man.
“Just… lie still. ”
Erwin screws his eyes shut and knits his brows together in pure ecstasy as the feeling of Levi’s hot, wet mouth on the head of his cock steals every remaining ounce of his morality, his young patient swallowing it all down as he kneels between the blonde’s thighs as if he is worshiping him. Levi sinks down on his length and hums around it, the sudden vibration from his throat sending the taller man thrusting upward and the raven-haired nearly chokes on his cock.
“Fuck, Levi–stop, stop ,”
But Levi doesn’t stop; he works his tongue along the man’s shaft, tracing the protruding veins and circling the underside of his circumcised head before dragging the tip of his tongue across the slit. Languidly, he sinks his mouth back down and Erwin chases the sensation with a rolling motion of his hips. He pulls at his restraint again and feels the moment that the smaller man’s lips curl up into a grin.
Levi pops off and crawls up, positioning himself back on top of the blonde’s spit-slicked cock.
“Levi, please, untie me. I promise you I won’t make you leave,” Erwin’s pleading falls on deaf ears at first until he utters something that stills all motion from the smaller man. “I can make you feel really good–isn't that what you want, my perfect boy?”
The smaller man gasps, and quickly nods in agreement. He swiftly repositions himself at the head of the bed, reaching his hands out to untie the blonde’s wrist restraint. Erwin watches his fingers work the knots before he abruptly stops.
“Are you gonna hurt me if I untie you?”
“I'll never hurt you, Levi . I wouldn't dream of hurting you,” the smaller man inhales a shaky breath. “I don't know why anyone would ever hurt you; you're perfect, so perfect.”
Erwin watches as Levi frees his wrist from the tie and pain immediately shoots down his arm as he attempts to move it to reach for the smaller man. Levi gasps again as Erwin groans and stifles a string of angry curses.
“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to–”
Erwin winces but smiles softly at the young man as he speaks to him. “It's okay, I need to get up so I can pop my shoulder back in. Can you untie my ankles?”
Levi quickly obliges, freeing Erwin’s lower limbs from their restraints and the blonde sits up before swinging his legs off the mattress and standing. The raven-haired watches the taller man nearly limp into the connected bathroom and before he can think to follow him, he hears a loud noise against a hard surface followed by a miserable groan from the blonde.
“Erwin ?” He calls as he slowly slips off of the bed, his feet landing lightly on the hardwood floors. A few seconds later, the blonde exits the bathroom and steps back over to the bed. Levi’s eyes trace his nude form, and he swallows hard at the sight of the man’s exposed body–the curve of his hips, the thick muscles in his thighs, the softness of his golden skin. Erwin saunters over to the nightstand and retrieves a small bottle from its drawer before stepping over to the smaller man rooted to the floor.
“Take your clothes off,” Erwin's lidded gaze is scorching, and the smaller man quickly complies, removing his hooded sweatshirt and jeans, folding them neatly and placing them on the foot of the bed. The doctors scrutinizing gaze on his body makes him shudder. “ All of it. ”
Levi slowly slips his underwear down his thighs and his cock springs free. He glances down at Erwin’s groin and the man speaks.
“Look at you, just perfect ,” the blonde strokes Levi’s face with his fingers before brushing them through his dark hair. He nods toward the bed behind them and gives his next command. “On all fours. ”
Levi crawls onto the mattress and Erwin takes his own cock in his hand, stroking his hardened length as he licks his bottom lip. The young raven-haired watches the blonde kneel behind him, the mattress dipping slightly under his weight. The popping of a bottle top causes the smaller man to shiver as does the following sensation of one of Erwin’s big fingers, slicked with cold liquid, pressed against his rim. The blonde briefly teases Levi's fluttering hole before his desire to watch the smaller man writhe at his touch overcomes him, and he slowly plunges his middle finger in. Levi’s smooth muscle contracts against his digit as he works him open to take his cock, the raven-haired’s sweet moans sending a shock to Erwin's nerves and he fucks a second finger into him, and then a third.
“Oh, fuck…Erwin, ahh– ” Levi sucks in a sharp breath and fists the sheets beneath him. “ Oh, that feels…that feels so good.”
Erwin smirks as he drags his fingers out of Levi’s lube-slicked hole, popping the cap on the bottle again before slicking up his own cock. The smaller man groans and his limbs tremble at the loss, the sudden emptiness leaving him begging for more. The blonde doesn't hesitate for even a second, he simply fucks the raven-haired into the mattress, thrusting his cock into him in one fluid motion, and Levi moans loudly into the sheets. His honeyed words ring out above the smaller man, over the lewd sounds of slapping skin and Levi’s pleasured cries.
“My perfect boy, taking my cock so well,”
The smaller man begs for more–for the doctor to tell him he's perfect , to fuck him, to punish him for being filthy , to praise him for being good. Levi arches his back and meets the blonde’s near-violent thrusts with his own forced motion and Erwin groans at the sudden change, at the feeling of burying his cock impossibly deeper.
“Look at you, fucking back into my cock–are you sure you're a virgin? You've never been fucked before?” Erwin coos, his fingers gripping into Levi's hips hard enough to leave small bruises. “Are you going to come for me, my good boy? ”
Levi quickly nods, his face planted against the mattress, his hands above his head holding onto the headboard for purchase. He lets his body go limp like a ragdoll, allowing the blonde to do as he pleases with him, relinquishing the remainder of his control to the doctor.
“Touch yourself.” The raven-haired complies, reaching one hand between his legs to relieve the painful tension on his own cock.
“Ahh, I want–I want you to come inside me, I wanna feel you come, please Doctor Smith–”
The blonde groans and pumps his hips harder as the young raven-haired man strokes his own cock, breathlessly begging and writhing underneath the taller man until he paints the sheets beneath him in milky white and sobs into the mattress.
But Erwin doesn't stop, instead he releases his hold on the smaller man’s hip to fist his brunette locks in between his fingers, jerking Levi’s head back as he aggressively thrusts into him.
“Oh, fuck, fuck , fuck, don't stop , please don't stop , it hurts so good– ” Tears stream down the raven-haired’s face as Erwin fucks him relentlessly until his rhythm falters and he spills his seed deep into Levi.
A moan slips from Levi’s mouth as the doctor's cock softens and Erwin sluggishly removes himself from behind the smaller man. Attempting to catch his breath, he glances over Levi’s spent body and suddenly flips him forcefully over onto his back, pinning him to the bed with his weight.
Levi's eyes are bloodshot, and his face is stained with tears as Erwin peers down his nose at him, a smirk playing on his supple lips as the raven-haired breathes heavily underneath him. The young raven-haired’s sudden attempt to free himself from under the blonde’s weight is useless as Erwin keeps him locked in place on the mattress.
“Where do you think you're going?” The doctor’s expression is demented and monstrous, and Levi squirms, but doesn’t struggle.
“I just need to shower...your cum is everywhere.”
“You're not going anywhere .”
“Erwin, I –”
“You shouldn't have drugged me and tied me up. I would've fucked you without any of this,” the blonde smirks, his pearly whites gleaming behind his lips. “But now you're mine and you'll never leave here. At least not alive.”
Levi’s breath catches in his throat as the blonde leans forward and gently presses his lips to the space between the raven-haired’s furrowed brows.
V
The two-tonal doorbell chime rings throughout the warm, sun-streaked apartment, quickly drawing the blonde doctor’s attention away from his place at his disorganized desk. He flips the screen down on his laptop and files away a few messy papers before removing himself from his chair to pad down the hallway. The chime is heard once more just before he reaches the front door, and he quickly unlocks the deadbolt and the knob in fluid motion. He glances over his shoulder down the hallway for a few seconds before squaring his shoulders and plastering a friendly smile upon his face. He leisurely opens the door and steps forward into the doorway.
On the other side, standing a few feet back into the hall, is a tall, lanky brunette male with wiry facial hair and a stoic expression upon his slender face. He’s dressed rather well, in what appears to be some type of police-issued attire complete with a black bulletproof vest strapped around his shoulders and torso. Erwin crooks a brow at the man’s appearance and opens his mouth to speak.
“Can I help you with something?”
The dark-haired man clears his throat and pulls out an official badge from the pocket of his trousers, stepping forward to present the card to the confused blonde. The man clears his throat as Erwin curiously peers down at the picture and embossed golden emblem.
“Yes, I’m detective Nile Dok. You are Erwin Smith, correct?”
“Doctor Erwin Smith and yes, ” the blonde shifts his weight and Dok recoils his hand, placing his badge back into his pocket. “Is there something that you need?”
The detective considers his words before retrieving a folded piece of paper from the front pocket of his vest. He unfolds it and holds it up for the blonde to see.
“I’m investigating a missing person’s case and I think you may be able to help,”
Erwin furrows his brows and peers at the paper, taking note of the name as well as the printed photograph before clearing his throat and averting his eyes. The detective returns the paper to his pocket.
“A college student from Trost has been missing for roughly two months. His name is Levi Ackerman; I think you may know him as he was one of your patients according to the records in your office back in Mitras.”
The blonde swallows and inhales a shaky breath before frowning at the man’s words. He ponders for a moment before shaking his head, leaning his shoulder into the doorframe as he perches up against the opening to his apartment–his body blocking the entrance. The detective crosses his arms across his chest.
“Mister Ackerman hasn’t been my patient in months . He took off after nearly eight weeks of sessions and never returned.”
“Did he ever say where he was going? Or why he was leaving? What happened during your last session?”
Erwin narrows his eyes at the question and his countenance darkens. “You know I cannot answer that; doctor-patient confidentiality still applies unless you have a warrant .”
The detective scoffs and kisses his teeth. “Do you have any idea where he could’ve gone?”
The doctor clears his throat once more and straightens, squaring his shoulders–nearly looming over the slightly shorter man. “ No, now if you’ll excuse me,” Erwin turns on his heel and attempts to shut his door, but the detective stops him, planting his palm firmly on the handle to halt the motion.
“Wait–” the detective fixes the blonde with a scrutinizing gaze as he turns back around to face him. “ Doctor Smith, are you hiding something?”
“What ?” The blonde scowls down at the man holding the door handle firmly in his grasp.
“You look rather uneasy; is there something that you are hiding ?”
Erwin sucks his teeth and turns his body back around. “And what exactly would that be?”
The detective shrugs his shoulders and smirks. “When you saw his picture, you immediately tensed; I saw you do it. You know where he is, don’t you?”
Silence envelopes the small space between the two men for a few uneasy seconds before Erwin huffs a laugh and a soft smile appears on his face. He steps back and the detective releases his grip on the handle.
“I assure you; I do not know where he is.”
The detective inhales a sharp breath. “Are you familiar with a man named Zeke Yaeger ?”
Erwin nods. “I am, he is one of my patients.”
“Mister Yaeger seems to think that Ackerman came to you back in December, and that you two left together from your office.”
The blonde laughs, the booming sound bouncing off of the walls of the hallway. Dok tenses at the sudden shift in demeanor.
“Mister Yaeger is a well-known schizophrenic who often refuses to take his medications. He has been locked up more times than you know, detective Dok. You can’t possibly believe anything from his mouth–he believes he is some kind of…savior, a hero even. But, if you’d like, you may come in and take a look around–but I’m afraid you’ll be rather disappointed.”
The lanky man slowly steps around each room, his amber eyes scanning every single visible surface before investigating behind closed doors–he peers into cabinets and closets but finds nothing of interest. Erwin leads him in and out of each space, and as they reach the blonde’s bedroom, the detective’s ears seem to perk up at the distinctive sound of running water, and his attention lands directly on the blonde’s closed bathroom door. He quickly steps over to it and the blonde intercepts the motion, blocking the man’s hand from touching the handle. Erwin shakes his head disapprovingly and grins.
“I’m afraid you can’t go in there,” The detective crooks a thin brow at Erwin’s words. “The young woman inside would likely not approve of that.”
Dok seems to deflate a little and he quickly recoils his hand. He sighs and nods his head before taking his leave of the room, the blonde following closely behind.
As Erwin opens the front door to let the detective out, the man turns on his heel and presents a small, rectangular card to the blonde. “If you hear anything–or if mister Ackerman comes back to your office…please call me.”
The doctor nods in acknowledgement and the lanky man finally takes his leave of the space. Erwin gently shuts the door and locks both the deadbolt and knob, quickly turning his attention to the end of the hallway. He pads down the hardwoods and turns into the kitchen, stepping over to the trash can to press the lever down with his foot. He chucks the card into the bin and exits the space.
The blonde walks to his bedroom, and quietly slips into the bathroom before relieving himself of his clothing. He blinks a few times, the steam from the shower mixing with the chill of the air in the room. His eyes fixate on the shadowy lithe figure inside of the hazy space and he devilishly grins at the sight.
He opens the small door and steam escapes from the rectangular space as he steps inside to greet the owner of the nude body standing under the steady stream of scalding water.
“Levi .”
The young raven-haired man turns around and peers up through wet lashes at the ravenous expression on the blonde’s face. Erwin cups his palm to Levi’s cheek and rubs gentle circles on his dampened flesh with his thumb.
“Good morning, doctor. ”