Work Text:
This is all because of a fucking mirror selfie, because of course it is.
Nobody asked Yuri to look like a god among men. Yet there he is looking like Apollo incarnate with a halo of golden hair and an ass sculpted by Donatello himself, clad in only a black pair of tights with one leg popped out perfectly as he turns back towards the mirror. The muscles in his arms and back are perfectly flexed and every inch of exposed, milky flesh is effortlessly smooth. One would not be at fault for completely skipping over the fact that Yuri’s bare chest is on display, considering a tantalizing bit of bulge crests the outline of his thigh, hinting that the Ice Tiger might actually be packing more heat than one might otherwise assume.
All of this is tied together with a homoerotic bow on top by the caption: Proof this ass don’t quit babe 😏😘
And the internet is officially on fire.
Not that Otabek noticed, because he’s so busy ogling that goddamn photo. No he didn’t take a screenshot, he has more dignity than that… he went to twitter where someone else posted the screenshot and saved it from there. Snapchat is a fucking snitch after all, and he does not need his best friend knowing that he’s been staring at this photo since he posted it to his story about five minutes ago.
Realistically, he knows that Yuri is going to be in conditioning with Lilia all day, but that doesn’t mean Otabek isn’t wrestling with the urge to call Yuri right this fucking second. Who the fuck is Yuri sending thirst traps to? A smaller part of Otabek’s mind begs the question: “and why aren’t I getting photos like that?”
He manages to pull himself away from his phone for his own private lesson. His head is not in it today. To his coach he blames his distracted state on a flareup of pain in his lower back; sure it’s a bit dramatic to call this whole situation a pain in his ass… but he doesn’t exactly care.
It’s not like he has any reason to be so territorial over Yuri, as they’re not dating. Hell they’ve both had various partners in their nearly four years of friendship. Ignoring the fact that every single time Yuri has confessed to seeing someone else Otabek’s heart hurt, they’ve only ever been friends.
There’s also an unspoken rule about… you know, not harboring feelings for your best friend. It’s kind of a law at this point because friends should be just that, friends. Otabek has very strong opinions about this, okay? He’s one of the many who tire of the narrative that friendship is nowhere near as intimate and treasured as romantic partnership.
For his part, Otabek harbors deep friendships for the people in his life and he loves them openly… as openly as his way about love can be. There’s subtlety and nuance to the way Otabek shows care to the people in his life.
All of this to say, he doesn’t owe Yuri anything and Yuri doesn’t owe him anything, even if Otabek has a big fat crush on him.
When he returns to his phone for the day, the first text he sees is from JJ of all people in the ‘After Dark ⛸️🌚😉’ group chat. A chat that was formed at worlds two years ago to tease Yuri for being underage at the time and has since been used for a multitude of reasons. Now, of course, seems like the prime time to use it:
Jean-Jacques-Jackass: DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS!?!?! 🤯😱
Diktor-N: YEAH WE DID
Dicktor-N: WHO DID THIS!?!?
Dicktor-N: WHO TOLD MY SON ABOUT THIRST TRAPS!?!!?
Otabek chuckles as he imagines Viktor screaming at his phone somewhere in Japan, likely in public because that’s just how he does things. Yuri would be shouting back just as viciously about not being related to Viktor in any way shape or form. A song and dance that never gets old, frankly.
Yuuri-Cockblock: Who forgot to tell him not to be horny on main is the better question…
Otabek nearly chokes on his water at that.
Christophe-Gia-cum-etti: Our boy really said tits AND ass in that photo
Christophe-Gia-cum-etti: I for one am proud 🙏😜
Phichits-Peen: Srsly tho… like who was he trying to send that to?
Phichits-Peen: I have to know
Phichits-Peen: pls don’t make me go to reddit I’m begging 😭
Phichits-Peen: y’all Buzzfeed is on the case already
Phichit sends a link to an article titled: Plisetsky’s Top 5 Most Likely Snap Intendees - and 5 of Our Wildest Fan Theories
… And yeah, okay, Otabek reads it just to be sure he at least made the list (he did, #2 slot thank you very much). Part of him thinks it’s incredibly violating that a news outlet has so much information on their lives that they even have ten options for potential love interests for Yuri. The other part of him is grateful that he doesn’t have to do the leg work…
Leo-De-La-In-My-Ass: Im on it chief 🕵️🔍
Dicktor-N: It better not be that fucking football player Krem or whatever the fuk his name is 😤
Dicktor-N: If they get back together Im throwing hands
Yuuri-Cockblock: If they get back together I’m throwing the whole man out the window this time I swear to god
Yuuri-Cockblock: ┬─┬ノ(ಠ_ಠノ) (ノ-_-)ノ ミ ┴┴
Christophe-Gia-cum-etti: I will pay you real money to see that Katsuki pls do it 🙏 😂
Leo-De-La-In-My-Ass: The article is bullshit, they have Ana Lusia in there as an option like…
Leo-De-La-In-My-Ass: HUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHH?🤨
Leo-De-La-In-My-Ass: My brother in Christ he is a homosexual
Jean-Jacques-Jackass: Reddit says it was for some skier named Hans!?!
Jean-Jacques-Jackass: Beks isn’t that ur ex?
Otabek sighs in real life as he enters the conversation.
Horse-Dong-Altin: No, I dated a snowboarder named Hana
Christophe-Gia-cum-etti: Thank god
Christophe-Gia-cum-etti: Skiers are THE WORST
Horse-Dong-Altin: Can someone pls change my name in here btw
Phichits-Peen: No can do horse dong
Leo-De-La-In-My-Ass: Not with a dick like that man srry you were simply built different
An audible groan falls out of Otabek’s lips as he heads to Twitter, where of course the Yuri Plisetsky fan page that he totally unfollowed as soon as he became real life friends with Yuri has made a thread about 50 tweets long dissecting a list of suspects.
Yuris-Angels-Official tweeted:
TLDR Yuri is back together with Kalis Marcovich OR he’s got a new boo who is likely Otabek Altin or Zavier Hunnigan.
Otabek refrains from reading the whole tweet but does take a screenshot to send to the group chat. Is it childish and inappropriate to be speculating about Yuri’s love life? Yeah but he didn’t ask for opinions.
Besides, it’s for group bonding with international skaters… Coach would be proud.
Horse-Dong-Altin sent an image.
Horse-Dong-Altin: Anyone know who Zavier is?
Phichits-Peen: A TENNIS PLAYER!?!!?
Dicktor-N: SAY SIKE 😭🙏
Phichits-Peen: SAY SIKE RIGHT NOW ALTIN SAY YOU’RE SORRY ಥ_ಥ
Jean-Jacques-Jackass: Ain’t no way he’s getting the white supremacist to suck his chode
Yuuri-Cockblock: Absolutely not, anybody but him ヾ( ･`⌓´･)ﾉﾞ
Leo-De-La-In-My-Ass: Yuri Plisetsky I am in your yard over this
Leo-De-La-In-My-Ass: WHAT THE FUCK
Dicktor-N: Otabek have you texted him? He always responds to you
Yuuri-Cockblock: Translation, he’s called Yuri 5 times and he won’t pick up
Dicktor-N: I’ve been called out 🥺 😭
Dicktor-N: BY MY OWN HUSBAND
Horse-Dong-Altin: He’s got an all day intensive with Lilia
Phichts-Peen: So he’s dead and horny
Leo-De-La-In-My-Ass: 💀💀💀
Otabek elects to ignore that and returns to Twitter where he falls down a rabbit hole of Yuri edits with various men hanging off of him. If Otabek didn’t know better, it would look like Yuri’s a player. The truth is that ever since Yuri came out a few years ago, fans have been rabid about his love life.
Yuri has always pretended that it doesn’t bother him, how much of his popularity comes from his romantic endeavors and not his skating career. They both know better, but it’s just another thing that neither of them is willing to speak on.
Sometimes Otabek wonders if he really knows anything at all about Yuri. By all accounts, they are best friends; they tell each other everything, they spend hours talking each night, and Yuri has liked every single one of Otabek’s mixes on Spotify. You don’t do that for someone you only casually know.
Yet there are days where Otabek wonders about the depth of their relationship. When Yuri talks boldly about his sex-capades or when he complains about how most guys don’t listen to him. Otabek listens; Otabek is always listening. It’s not like Otabek is waiting on Yuri either. He has his own flings with guys and girls alike… they’re just not… Yuri.
Which is obvious because Yuri is perfect and so easy to be around. Nobody can compete, nobody ever has… it’s not like they’ve been trying to, either.
Maruofthedeep tweeted
Okay but I’m still not over this clip of @yuri-plisetsky and @otabek-altin please tell me that snap was for him I’m begging #otayuri #plsconfirmit 😭
The video in question is of Yuri realizing Otabek won silver at last year’s World Championships. He could have been bitter, having placed just off the podium, but his eyes light up and his jaw drops as he claps a smile forming quickly after. The next clip is of Yuri hugging Otabek the second he gets into the filming area. Yuuri Katsuki smiles knowingly in the background of the video as the two embrace.
Otabek has that video saved, it’s one of his favorite memories. Seeing the edge of competitiveness melt away and pride replacing it. Very few people’s opinions matter to Otabek, seeing one of those people so unabashedly proud of him felt so damn good.
Leo-De-La-In-My-Ass: Beks are you seeing this?!?!
Otabek returns to the group chat and feels his eyes nearly fall out of his skull. There’s an onslaught of photos from various accounts claiming to be of Yuri and Seung-Gil. Some of those photos Otabek can tell are photoshopped (some of them are actually him and decidedly not the Korean skater) but some of them are startlingly realistic… who the fuck has Yuri been that cozy with in public?
Jean-Jacques-Jackass: No way, no fucking way
Chris-Gia-cum-etti: Some of those photos are frisky
Phichits-Peen: The fuck am I looking at (o_O) ?
Phichits-Peen: Are those deepfakes???
Phichits-Peen: Im so serious rn guys someone confirm these photos are real like 🤨 🤨 🤨
Dicktor-N: Seung-Gil explain urself right now
Jean-Jacques-Jackass sent an image
Jean-Jacques-Jackass: SEUNG-GIL ARE YOU FUCKING PLISETSKY
Seung-Doesnt-Wanna-Be-Here-Gil: No
Phichits-Peen: Would you tho?
Seung-Doesn’t-Wanna-Be-Here-Gil: ╭∩╮(-_-)╭∩╮
Phichits-Peen: You have 2 dicks out for Plisetsky!?!? 😱 😱 😱
Yuri-Cockblock: At least three of those photos are fake btw
Yuri-Cockblock: One of them is him in Hatsetsu
Chris-Gia-cum-etti: The fans are so feral for this
Chris sends a link to a fan edit of Yuri’s most recent exhibition skate with a sound bite of some dude-bro podcasters talking about how figure skating isn’t a real sport. Followed quickly by a smash cut to Yuri’s snap with the pitched up ‘Bitch what the fuck’ sound bite overlayed.
It hurts Otabek’s ears to be honest, but it is pretty funny.
Leo-De-La-In-My-Ass: Beks be real babe, is it you?
Leo-De-La-In-My-Ass: Was that snap for you?
Leo-De-La-In-My-Ass: Im not mad I promise
Leo-De-La-In-My-Ass: I just gotta know
Horse-Dong-Altin: No
Jean-Jacques-Jackass: Are you sure??? 👀 👀 👀
Jean-Jacques-Jackass: And like… how sure is sure???
Horse-Dong-Altin: I’m sure
Otabek switches to Instagram just to get away from this conversation. Which is all fun and games until Skating-News-Official pops up on stories with an ask box prompting people to ‘submit their guesses for Plisetsky’s new partner’ it makes Otabek’s skin crawl.
He taps through more answers than he’d like to admit.
All of this has him questioning if he even really knows Yuri. It seems like everyone else in the world believes they know him best… and Otabek doesn’t have a clue who Yuri would have been sending a photo like that to.
Yuri hasn’t mentioned a new crush or going on any dates recently… did he not trust Otabek enough to tell him about a new relationship? Is Otabek owed that? Does he know that Otabek stalks the hell out of him online? He’s doing just that right now, isn’t he?
Before his brain can spiral completely out of control, he throws himself into working on his motorbike. It’s a good distraction, it requires him to be focused and he’s finally making headway in this new bike he’s been restoring.
He has long since turned his sound off given that the group chat is still blowing up his phone. But when he sees a notification from Twitter, he can’t help but open it, immediately.
Yuri Plisetsky tweeted:
When you meant to send a risky snap to one person and instead POSTED IT TO YOUR WHOLE ASS STORY 💀💀💀
Brb googling the quickest way to kms…
Otabek rolls his eyes at Yuri’s theatrics, but he does feel bad for the guy. For Yuri to post about being embarrassed instead of trying to own it speak volumes.
The fact that Yuri is facetiming him is startling, but not unwelcome.
“Hey,” Otabek answers, trying not to grimace at his sweaty brow and tousled hair.
“Hey, working hard or hardly working?” Yuri chuckles. He looks like he’s fresh out of a shower with his hair tied out of his face.
“Oh, you know, trying to distract myself,” Otabek shrugs.
“Ugh, me fucking too, eight hours, Beka – eight whole hours of ballet. It’s fucking criminal, dude.”
“I’m sure it is somewhere,” Otabek laughs.
“I know right…” Yuri’s blushing, even over facetime Otabek can see the dusting of pink color his face. “It’s been a bad day, just kinda needed a pick me up… sorry if now’s a bad time.”
“No, of course not. What’s up?”
“Besides the fact that my body is throbbing – Lilia fucking kicked my ass… and like… did you see the whole… snapchat debacle?” Yuri asks.
“That? Oh yeah, I heard about it, you doing okay?”
“I mean… yeah.” Yuri shrugs. “I think so… I mean… the… the person it was meant for saw it so…”
“That’s good,” Otabek says, the pang of hurt in his gut is overwhelming. “They say anything about it?”
“Not yet…”
“But you know he saw it?”
“I mean, everyone did.”
Otabek shrugs, using the hem of his shirt to wipe his brow.
“Jesus, you’re not fair.”
“Huh?” Otabek asks.
“I mean two can play at this game, jackass.” Yuri lifts the hem of his own shirt until his eight pack is on full display.
“Wha-huh?” Otabek re-iterates his confusion.
“What like you’re not trying to flash your washboard abs at me?” Yuri asks.
“I-… I’m not trying-”
“You’re so impossible, like fuck it’s like you’re trying to make my dick hard.”
Otabek has a genuine moment where he has to scrounge around in his brain for an excuse. For why Yuri totally 100% not hitting on him. Homoerotic friendships are in these days, right? Bros being sluts for each other, simping after each other is cool now, right?
But Yuri’s never done it before and if Otabek’s vision isn’t going he can point out a much brighter pink painting Yuri’s features.
“Yura-”
“Shit, forget it.” Yuri pulls his shirt back down.
“Was that snap for me?”
“Fucking- really dude!?! Of course it was, who else would it be for?”
“Like 100 other guys if you ask the internet,” Otabek says dumbly.
Yuri stalls and then he laughs. “Oh my god, really?”
“Well yeah, dude, how on earth was I supposed to know that was for me?”
“Last Thursday we were talking about how my ass absolutely doesn’t quit because I’m too stubborn. And I said that’s why it looks so good, and you said, ‘that’s true’ and I totally thought you were finally coming on to me.”
Otabek stares at Yuri for so long the blonde starts to squirm under the scrutiny.
“Could you fucking say something?”
“Yuri Plisetsky, do you have a crush on me?”
“Yeah man, what the fuck are you going to do about it?!?” Yuri yells. It seems unintentional with the way he averts his gaze after the fact.
“I guess I’m gonna have to date the fuck out of you.” Otabek shrugs.
It’s Yuri’s turn to stall, “Are you serious?”
“I am if you are.”
Yuri lets out a sigh. “Fucking finally, do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to nut up and ask me out!?”
“Not nearly as long as I’ve waited,” Otabek chuckles.
“Hold on just a sec.” Yuri’s video cuts away and Otabek hears a little rustling. Then his phone buzzes in his hand with a twitter notification.
Yuri Plisetsky tweeted:
Lmfaooooo guys crisis averted it worked 🥰😉#offthemarket
Otabek is the first person to like his tweet, the pair of them laughing as they reminisce about all the times they’ve tiptoed around this, around each other… And the falling in love bit they’re both very convinced is just on the horizon.
Phichits-Peen: OTABEK ALTIN EXPLAIN YOURSELF THIS INSTANT
Phichits-Peen sent an image
Leo-De-La-In-My-Ass: WHAT THE EVER LIVING FUCK MAN
Chris-Gia-cum-etti: It’s not for me my ass
Chris-Gia-cum-etti: You lying sack of shit
Dicktor-N: Otabek you’ve got some explaining to do
Yuuri-Cockblock: Personally I’m happy for them, congrats (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
Jean-Jacques-Jackass: What did I say
Jean-Jacques-Jackass: I fucking told y’all
The last thing Otabek does for the evening is change Yuri’s name in his phone from Yuri ⛸️🖤 to 💖Boyfriend💖
And no, he isn’t sorry about it, not even a little.