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The room was quiet aside from the hum of the fan. It was late at night so there was no disturbances outside, aside from the occasional car. Despite all of this, Kaneki was unable to sleep. For the past few hours, he was constantly tossing and turning, shaking and crying, unable to just settle down and rest.
For what seemed like the hundreth time, he got up and went to the bathroom, carefully inspecting himself in the mirror. From the messed up mop of raven black hair, to the painfully visible bags under his eyes, to his overweight stomach. He frowned, disgusted at himself, before washing his face and trudging back to bed.
Kaneki sat there, staring into space, unsure of what to do. He could call Hide, he always knew what to say to Kaneki when he was feeling down. He quickly shook away that thought, it was too late and Hide had better things to do then try to fix a complete wreck. Hide deserved better than him, always burdening him with his problems. He deserved a friend who was as happy, kind, and outgoing as he was. All Kaneki ever does is bring him down.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed on his nightstand. His shakey hand quickly picked it up and, with blurry eyes, read the text sent by none other than Hide.
"hey neki! i know this is weird (and it is an ungodly hour) but well, i was kinda worried about you, so this is just me checking up! hows everything going?"
Kaneki stared at the phone in disbelief. How did he know? Hide always had a great intuition, and could read Kaneki like a book, but this was just outrageous.
He weighed his options, tell him the truth and waste even more of Hide's time, or hide the truth and leave him alone. The choice was obvious, of course. Hide shouldn't have to deal with him, not at all.
"Hey, Hide. I'm fine okay? It's late, get to sleep."
He sighs, feeling both extremely upset and extremely guilty, but convinces himself that it will be alright, at least Hide won't worry about him anymore. He rolls over, away from his phone, to try to fall asleep, but to no avail. He was glad at least Hide didn't text back, meaning he probably went to bed. Kaneki covers his face with his pillow, letting out all his pent up emotions, sobbing as quietly as he can. Why? Why was he so pathetic? Why couldn't he be normal? Why couldn't anyone love him? Why was he such a burden to the person he loves the most?
His train of thought was suddenly stopped when he heard a knock at the door, and everything he felt before was replaced with fear. He was frozen in place for a moment, then gained his composure and slowly made his way to the door. He silently thanked his apartment for having a peephole, and anxiously looked through it. His eyes widened when he saw Hide in his dorky bear pajamas smiling in front of his door. He didn't know whether to feel relieved or confused, but opened the door for his boyfriend anyways.
"Hide! Why are you out so late, shouldn't you be in bed by now?"
Hide stood there for a second, his expression unreadable, then leaned in and embraced Kaneki. He stiffened for a second, before shakily wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. They stood there for a second in complete silence, before Hide spoke up.
"You should have told me the truth, I knew you weren't alright."
Kaneki was about to ask how Hide could have possibly known that, but he continued.
"You sleep like a log, and if you were asleep I know you wouldn't have responded. When I saw that text from you, I knew something was off."
It got quiet again, Hide patiently waiting for Kaneki to respond. He refused to look at Hide, he felt ashamed. He was probably angry at him now and didn't trust him. Kaneki was overwhelmed with guilt and just wished that Hide didn't come, so he wouldn't have to see him like this.
"I'm sorry, I just didn't want you to worry about me. Please don't waste your time on me, it isn't worth it."
Hide stood there, Kaneki still in his arms, seemingly deep in thought, before holding him tighter.
"It is worth it, Kaneki. I love you, and I want to be there for you when you need it. I know it's hard for you, but I'll do my best to show you, I want to help you. You're so important to me, even if you don't think so."
Kaneki clung to Hide, trying to process everything he said, and felt tears drip down his face. Hide tipped Kaneki's face up so he could look at him, and pulled him in for a kiss. It was just a short and sweet peck, but it was able to bring out a blush and small smile onto Kaneki's face. Hide took his hand and led Kaneki back into his apartment, bringing him to his room.
"Now, let's get to sleep."