Chapter Text
April 22nd
It was a sunny day when Rick woke up early to ensure that prison bars were safe enough and take care of his garden. He sighed, covering his forehead with his hands, thinking about what he should do first.
It’d been four months since his wife was deceased, leaving Rick alone with his son and newborn daughter. He'd never been in such a devastating situation as this before; not even taking a bullet was compared to the pain of losing someone he loved.
For a long time, he felt adrift with no desire to feel anything at all. If it wasn’t for the support of his prison family, he was almost sure he wouldn’t be able to sort this out all by himself.
Carl was just a kid, but he was growing up in such a hostile environment and he kept constantly worried about his father’s safety. Now that Lori was gone, the boy was even more mature. He was the one to organize the shifts and feed Judith when his father wasn’t able to.
While Rick took care of his garden after the first round through the gates, he heard a baby’s cheerful laughter followed by a calm voice approaching. He couldn’t help but smile at his children because they were the most important thing in his world.
Of course, Rick would never forget his ex-wife, but with time, the pain had become a little easier to bear. All he needed was a quick glance at his kids to know that everything was going to be okay, because they were still there with him; safe and sound.
“Hey dad. Need some help?”- Carl asked while gently swinging Judith in his arms.
“I’m fine, Carl.”- Rick smiled, softly nuzzling against the baby’s neck. “Go help Carol with our breakfast. I’ll be there in a few. ” - He finished, while cleaning forehead with a cloth.
For a minute, the boy's eyes became a few shades darker as he bit his lips.
"Need help to clear the area?" - Carl offered.
Rick simply shook his head in denial. "No, it's all right, son. Get inside and stay there. I need you to keep everyone safe.”
‘All right…” Carl sighed, not seeming very thrilled with the order, but in the end he gave in because he knew that all his father wanted was his family’s safety.
Without saying any other word, Carl left his father working in the prison’s garden. Rick was so focused on the seeds he was planting that he barely noticed someone watching him from a distance.
When he finally turned back, he faced Daryl and Glenn, both with huge backpacks and guns, and he felt quite confused, because runs were always discussed beforehand.
“Hey Rick.”- Glenn greeted with a smile.
“Hi. You both going to a run? We haven’t discussed this yet. This is not what we do.” - Rick wasn’t happy at all.
“The baby. She needs mor’ formula and Beth , she needs girly stuff.”- Daryl muttered.
Rick could feel his muscles relaxing a bit after knowing what the guys would do. “All right. Be careful out there.” - He nodded.
It was barely there, but Rick could swear he noticed the archer’s cheeks gaining soft hues of pink after his remark, but Daryl definitely brushed it off as soon as he noticed Rick staring right back at him.
With a soft nod, he just gave a few taps on Glenn’s shoulder indicating that they should leave and then, both followed the path towards his bike.
For someone who'd just lost the love of his life a few months, Rick strangely didn’t feel alone anymore. He didn’t know what he felt; he didn’t know what he wanted anymore, but he definitely knew he wasn’t alone.
He didn’t even notice when the whole thing had started, but he did know what if felt like whenever he talked with Daryl. It was strange, but at the same time it wasn't. Rick noticed however, that as the months passed, the more he felt something for Daryl.
Rick couldn’t make anything out of it yet, it was all pretty new, but one thing he knew for sure; his palms sweated and his heart beat faster whenever he was around the archer. Slowly, he started to notice the little things that made Daryl so unique.
He noticed his strength; he noticed his loneliness and above all, how big his heart was, even though the archer would try so hard to pretend he wasn’t so big hearted, but he was and Rick really appreciated this trait.
Sometimes he would feel ridiculous for staring a little way too longer while Daryl helped him with the garden, or when his hands leaned a little longer upon Daryl’s shoulders, or even Rick’s eyes went straight to those thin lips.
“You’re a grown man.”- Rick would whisper to himself in a poor attempt to stop whatever it was that was happening to him, but he just couldn’t help it. The more time he spent with Daryl, the more he felt as if he wouldn’t be able to breathe if he wasn’t close to the man.
It took him weeks, no, months until he finally realized what was going on. He didn’t feel this way since Lori and it scared him; it truly scared him because he didn’t know what to make out of this. Daryl was like a brother, a provider to Rick and all his prison family. He couldn’t do it and he wouldn’t give in.
Sometimes Rick would even question himself, because it’s been a while since he’s been with anyone besides Lori. He’d experimented in the past; of course, he knew exactly what he liked and who were the people to judge if he liked men and women? For a while, he even tried to hide it, but there was no use to hide who he truly was, though the only person to ever know about this was Shane, and of course, the one man he hooked up one year before he finally met Lori.
After his first relationship, he never had contact with any other man or woman besides Lori. He fell hard for her and he thought that he was never going to able to fall for someone this way again, but here he was; a 35 years old, having an existential crisis because he was in love with someone he couldn’t have.
He was so distracted with his own thoughts that he didn’t even notice the hours passing all over again. When he finally came back to himself, it was already noon. The sound of Daryl’s bike returning was the first thing to bring his attention.
Both Glenn and Daryl looked completely fine, with not even a scratch. The Korean boy smiled with a bag full of supplies, while Daryl just nodded with a ghost of smile rising upon his lips because they’d succeeded again.
“Hey.”- Daryl called Rick, before throwing an apple towards him.
Rick was so distracted that he almost let the apple hit his face, but gladly his reflexes were as sharp as a knife. “Thanks.”- He managed, before giving a full bite on the fruit.
The archer just smiled softly before going back inside the prison with the younger man. Daryl didn’t even know the weight of his little gesture, but that meant a lot for Rick. It was always nice knowing that there was someone out there looking out for him.
A few more hours later the whole group sat in the makeshift dining table at the prison for dinner. It was day to celebrate because there were already four months without fatal accidents inside the group and though no one felt the festive atmosphere, everyone was glad to be alive.
Carl, Beth and Michonne played cards while the rest of the group was engaged into a fun conversation, while sharing a bottle of wine that Glenn found on one of his runs. Rick was sat next to his kids, as usual, swinging Judith in his arms while Daryl kept himself at a safe distance.
Daryl seemed happy though he wasn’t the type of man who liked to share his joy with the others, but like this, just watching his whole family so happy, was enough to make his heart warm. He thought about doing his watch a little earlier that night, but as soon as he tried to walk away, Rick quickly called him.
“Hey Daryl. Why don’t you join us?”- Rick offered, pointing a spot right next to him.
“M’ fine here, Rick…”- Daryl muttered, already guiding his thumb to his mouth.
“Don’t be such a party pooper! Come join us, asshole!”- Glenn shouted, rising his cup of wine.
The archer definitely rolled his eyes after the comment, but decided to give in anyway, approaching the table so he could sit right next to Rick.
Daryl could see the happiness inside Rick’s beautiful blues and something about that beautiful gleam seemed to show him how appreciated his company was. Standing next to Rick always felt so right, it felt just as natural as taking a breath. Everything seemed right and everything made sense whenever he was by his leader’s side.
Rick made him feel special, like he was actually worth it. All his life, he’d been put down and shoved by people and by his own family and for years he truly believed that he was not worthy of anything good in his life, not worthy of love, not worthy of appreciation, but this group and their leader showed him nothing but support during the months they’d spent together and for that he was glad.
“Is everything all right?”- Rick whispered softly, just so the archer could be the only one hearing.
“m’ fine… Don’t worry officer friendly.”- Daryl assured with rosy cheeks.
“Cheers.”- Rick smiled, raising his glass up just for Daryl, before taking a long sip at the red wine.
If Daryl didn’t know better, he could swear that Rick was actually flirting with him, but he quickly took this idea out of his mind because there was no way Rick would like someone like him.
By the time Daryl finally decided to take a small sip into his wine, everyone was almost finishing their dinner. Rick quickly touched the archer’s shoulder before leaving to put Judith in her improvised cradle and his son on bed, because it was already late.
That night, Rick didn’t want to sleep with his kids, so he asked Beth to spend the night with them while he would spend the night on watch.
Everyone was quite against it because they all agreed that after everything that happened, Rick deserved to take some rest, but the former officer was adamant about this and in the end , everyone agreed.
Daryl even offered to stay at the tower with him during his shift, but Rick brushed him off right away and that made the archer worried, because the last time Rick wanted to be left alone was that time when he was hallucinating with Lori.
Against his own will, Daryl just nodded and got inside the prison. He didn’t like to leave Rick all by himself, but as the second in command, he would always respect Rick’s wishes and even if he didn’t agree, he would still have Rick’s back.
What the archer didn’t know though was that the only reason Rick wanted to be all alone was so he could enjoy himself a little. It’s been months since he were touched or since he’d touched himself and he was aching for some contact. He didn’t want to bother no one, so that’s why he caught his sheets and took them to the tower.
There, he could finally take time and just explore himself as he didn’t do for a long time. On that night, he touched himself off vigorously while thinking about the hunter, his hunter, imagining those were his hunter's calloused hands touching him so intimately. Imagining what would if feel like to be touched by pure gold while staring at wondrous blues and opals.
To be continued…