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Keep thinking 'bout his angel eyes
PJ hates Hazel.
Okay, hate is a strong word. She strongly dislikes Hazel.
She just thinks she’s too much. And too weird. And too loud.
Then Hazel got the living shit beat out of her and then PJ felt really bad.
And then she apologized to Hazel and still felt bad, even a little worse. Because she could see Hazel’s bright blue eyes staring at her, boring into her soul, questioning every decision and choice and action and word PJ has ever done and said in her life.
PJ didn’t know if Hazel really accepted her apology.
And then they needed a distraction during the football game.
Literally anything else could’ve worked . Like someone could’ve flashed their tits and it would’ve worked. Or they could've fought each other and it would’ve worked.
But what does PJ’s sick and twisted mind come up with? (She thinks her mind is sick and twisted because she would never come up with that idea on her own. Sure hun)
To kiss Hazel.
But why Hazel?
Hazel was right there, she tries to convince herself (even though she had to run up the bleachers to kiss Hazel)
Kissing Josie would’ve been too weird, she thinks (true, but it was for distraction sakes, you wouldn’t have cared about that)
Sylvie has her screws loose, she tells herself (and Hazel doesn’t?)
She ignores the real reason. Which is that she wanted to kiss Hazel.
And she did. And they kissed. And PJ strongly dislikes Hazel because of that.
Because PJ was hoping that kissing Hazel would shut up her thoughts about what it would be like. About why she’s been thinking about it. She thought, if I do it this one time, then that’s it.
But now she keeps thinking about it and thinking about it and fucking thinking about it .
And Hazel asked her if she was okay after their fight with Hungtington and PJ’s heart fluttered for a second (she thought it was a fluke, the adrenaline or something. Not cause Hazel showed an ounce of caring for her). And that’s why she strongly dislikes Hazel.
It’s because she actually really fucking likes her.
And then that was that.
PJ tries to convince herself it’s some harmless crush. It doesn’t mean anything. She kissed her, that’s why she’s feeling all these feelings. Hell, she could kiss Annie and maybe she would have a crush on her.
Keep thinking, ah-ah
But PJ can’t stop going to sleep thinking about Hazel’s bright blue eyes.
And when she wakes up, she acts like she didn’t spend her entire night dreaming about her and Hazel.
Going on dates, kissing each other, doing more than kissing…
She tries to not think about it too much during the school days. The girls are able to get their fight club reinstated as they literally saved their schools beloved football team, so the school thought the girls would maybe kill their own football team if they didn’t get their club back. So they got their club back.
The first week after the fight (and subsequently, the kiss) Hazel is a little different.
She’s talking to PJ a lot more, also chooses to fight with PJ, walks with PJ to her locker.
PJ doesn’t know why. She talks back to Hazel though, she lets Hazel hold her books to their class. She even laughs at some of the dumb things Hazel says. And when Hazel complimented her during the week, saying “You look pretty today.” PJ even said “Thank you” without saying anything sarcastic afterwards and she definitely didn’t scream into her pillow when she got home, replaying the compliment in her head again and again, thinking how Hazel’s eyes looked into hers, the blue in her eyes becoming less sharp whenever she looks at PJ, as if it’s softening, as if her pupils are becoming dilated (they are).
And then Hazel at the end of the school week asks PJ if she’s busy after school, maybe grab a hot dog at Costco. PJ says she is busy (she isn’t) and Hazel’s face drops, if only for a moment, before she just nods and walks away. PJ thinks what the fuck. But then doesn’t think much about it.
Until, she’s forced to think about it.
Hazel likes PJ.
She doesn’t know why. She’s loud, obnoxious, rude and is mean to Hazel.
And trust, Hazel doesn’t have a weird “I like being degraded kink” and that’s why she’s into PJ.
But she just is.
She knows that it’s mostly an act, and the little moments of sweet that slip through, Hazel is able to catch them.
And then PJ said all that mean stuff to her, and she thought, huh, maybe I was being delusional.
And then Hazel got the shit beat out of her.
And sure, if PJ never was mean to her, she never would’ve told Tim the truth about their fight club and about Josie and PJ, which means Tim would’ve never concocted this whole thing where he told Hazel was going to fight PJ but then got the shit beat out of her .
So she definitely blamed PJ for that. And then blamed herself a little (just like 1% though, it’s mostly PJ’s fault, but she should’ve never trusted Tim).
And then PJ apologized to her. And Hazel sincerely forgave her. Cause for PJ to admit she did anything wrong is already out of her character, so Hazel knew she was being genuine.
And then when they needed a distraction, Hazel didn’t know what to do. She went on top of the bleachers, trying to create a commotion. What she wasn’t expecting was PJ to come out of nowhere and kiss her, Hazel didn’t really know what was happening. When she realized that there were lips on her, and they belonged to PJ, she acted swiftly. She couldn’t let this chance go.
And then, Hazel being Hazel had started to wonder if this was truly a distraction kiss, or if there was something else there.
So Hazel started giving PJ signals. She started talking to her more, she helped her with her books for class, she would always partner up with her during fight club (which she was elated that they actually keep).
She even complimented PJ one time and swore to herself she saw PJ blush.
But when she essentially asked PJ out and PJ said no, Hazel got the hint.
But then Josie asked Hazel if PJ said yes to them hanging out, and when Hazel said no, Josie made a face. Hazel questioned it.
“Nothing, I just thought she was going to say yes. I don’t think she realizes she might like you.” Josie says, Isabel by her side.
“Or she knows and doesn’t want to admit it.” Isabel chimes in. Hazel’s ears perk up when she hears that.
“How can I get her to admit it?” Hazel says. Isabel beams.
“I might have an idea…” Isabel says.
She’s going to make PJ think about it.
Last night, I was taking a walk along the river
And I saw him together with a young girl
See, the thing about PJ thinking that she doesn’t like Hazel is that she convinces herself she doesn’t care about anything that Hazel does.
So when Hazel is talking to one of Isabel cheerleading friends near her locker, she doesn’t think twice about it (at least she tries to convince herself. She naively thinks, maybe they’re working on a project together)
And when she’s entering the gym, and she sees Hazel and this cheerleader talking on the bleachers before the club officially starts, with PJ yelling extremely loud (louder than usual and more in the direction of the bleachers than usual) that the club is starting, and this cheerleader gives Hazel a kiss on the cheek before skipping out, PJ pretends like she didn’t see it (She did, she’s more aggressive in all her punches and kicks and choke outs today than usual. Hazel notices)
And the look that he gave her made me shiver
'Cause he always used to look at me that way
And when PJ has to walk by Hazel’s locker again and she sees Hazel with this dumb ass cheerleader again, and she sees Hazel laughing at whatever the cheerleader just said (“I’m funnier” PJ thinks) and Hazel tilts her head to look at the cheerleader, PJ runs into the nearest bathroom to kick a toilet stall, wincing at how much harder the metal is than she thought.
PJ tries to ignore it. How this cheerleader hangs around more. How some of the other girls in the fight club are warming up to her. How she imagines if Hazel had a type, this cheerleader would be it.
Look into his angel eyes
One look and you're hypnotized
He'll take your heart and you must pay the price
PJ, out of retaliation, starts pairing up her and Hazel more frequently. She doesn’t understand why. She makes up some lame excuse about staying with the same fight partner makes you stronger for a real threat (everyone just pretends they agree with her, they’re all very aware of why she’s doing it, even if she hasn’t admitted it yet).
PJ once again thinks it’s no big deal. Until.
“Are you ready to go PJ?” Hazel asks. PJ wasn’t looking in Hazel’s direction until she asked that question. And when PJ locks eyes with Hazel. She’s screwed.
Look into his angel eyes
You'll think you're in paradise
Fuck, PJ thinks. Fuck fuck fuck fuck she can’t stop staring into Hazel’s blue orbs. And every feeling she’s been suppressing these last couple of weeks comes bubbling up and all these feelings of jealousy these last couple of days are at the forefront of all her emotions. Fuck Fuck fuck fuck.
“PJ?” Hazel asks. The other girls are too busy fighting to figure out what’s happening in this little corner of the gym. PJ realizes that, uses that to her advantage, and grabs Hazel’s wrist (the hand would be too much) and leads her out of the gym. Just for a moment.
“Is everything okay?” Hazel asks. “Can you let go of my wrists? My bones are starting to hurt.”
“No Hazel, everything is not okay.” PJ says, letting go of Hazel’s wrist.
“What happened? Did Sylvie try to get you to huff paint markers with her? I told her no one else wants to do that with her.”
“NO Hazel.” PJ slaps her hands in her face in disgust because of what she’s about to reveal to Hazel.
“So what? Why can’t I see your face anymore?”
“When did you start hanging out with that cheerleader?” PJ makes her face visible again, and stares into Hazel's eyes. Immediate regret.
“She has a name.”
“I don’t care. When?” She tries to look anywhere else, but once she’s locked in, she can’t escape.
“I don’t know. My Friday was free last week, and I have you to thank for that. Isabel saw how upset I was, and she hooked me up with a friend of hers.”
“Are you guys like serious serious?” PJ tries looking past Hazel’s head, but Hazel shifts a little, and the motion causes PJ to have her look back into her blue blue eyes.
“We could get there. Why do you care so much?”
“Because!” PJ can’t say it.
“Because what?” Hazel says, tilting her head the same way she did with that goddamn cheerleader and PJ feels like she might throw up.
“Because…I can’t say it.”
“Is admitting that you like me really that much of a mental strain to you?” Hazel asks, and her voice indicates that she’s hurt. PJ’s body immediately loosens up.
“What? No. I didn’t, I never-”
“Okay, so you actually don’t like me. I was being delusional. I got it now.” Hazel starts to walk away but PJ grabs her hand before she can enter the gym again.
“Please. Just give me a second. Please. I can say what I need to say.”
“So say it PJ.”
“Can you, um, close your eyes?” PJ asks, staring at Hazel’s forehead, but her eyes wander down. Fuck.
“What?”
“Hazel, I can’t confess my feelings to you when I have your big ass blue eyes constantly staring at me, making it harder for me to admit my feelings for you because everytime you look at me, I think I might just jump your bones. So please, close your eyes. For a minute.”
Hazel is a little stunned. But she closes her eyes. PJ takes a deep breath.
“Okay yes, I like you. I don’t know how long, I definitely realized it after the kiss during the game, but I didn’t want to admit it. Not cause that would be embarrassing or anything. I mean, once I got to know you, I realized you were pretty cool. And you’re pretty hot.”
“Thanks.”
“Shut up. Anyways. I didn’t want to admit it cause like crushes are gross, and that’s what I thought it was, a silly crush. Then I started dreaming about you-”
“Wait-”
“Nope. Not touching that. And then I saw you with that cheerleader and I was getting really annoyed and I kept telling myself different things other than the one thing that I knew what it was. Which wasn’t annoyance. I mean, a little annoyance, but more jealousy. Which meant what I was scared to admit all along.”
“Which is…”
“You can open.” Hazel does and PJ regrets it. Maybe she should ask her to close them again…
“I like you Hazel. Fuck. That’s so corny of me.”
Hazel beams. Gleams. She looks so fucking funny.
“Me and that cheerleader aren’t serious.”
“Thank god.”
“We’re also like…pretending.”
“What?”
“We were trying to make you jealous. Glad to know it worked.”
“Wait, what? So you knew that I liked you.”
“Yes, PJ. It was obvious to everyone. I’m not that dumb.”
“I don’t think you’re dumb.”
“Well. I was waiting for you to admit it. I didn’t think you were. But now you did.”
“Now I did. Does this mean you’re gonna stop talking to the cheerleader?”
“Once again, I don’t actually like her.”
“Got it. Does this mean that you’re free this Friday?” PJ says, sounding nervous. Hazel smiles.
“It does mean that.”
“Okay. Well. We’re going out. Since you know, we like each other or whatever. Fuck this is dumb.”
“Sooooo…Friday? We’ll leave after school?” Hazel asks.
“Yeah.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay.” Hazel places a quick kiss on PJ’s lips, leaving PJ stunned and skips into the gym.
Look into his angel eyes
One look and you're hypnotized
He'll take your heart and you must pay the price
Oh PJ paid the price alright. And she’ll continue to pay it.