Chapter Text
A trauma strong enough can affect the human mind drastically. There is a point during that trauma where that person’s brain physically changes. Everything from their thoughts actions and personally will change. The 1st time it happened was when A’lexi was 14. The rebellion had ended, as punishment for her family's involvement in the rebellion, her parents were executed in cold blood in front of her. The moment the sword was raised over her parents her cries can be heard from the gardens her family owned. Her innocence was taken from her. Her family was taken from her. At that moment she felt the most alone. She wanted to be killed alongside her parents, as they lay lifeless on their family home’s floor.
“Lexi!” the voice screamed as the footsteps came running up the steps. “How dare you leave without saying goodbye!”
The small girl sprinted up the staircase with her golden blond hair blowing in the wind. Her eyes widened as she finally took a full look at me.
“It’s not goodbye. I’ll see you next year.” I said, giving her a slight smile trying to forget the deathtrap I am about to walk into.
“I wish I could go with you.” Sloane said, wrapping her arms around me and hugging me tight like this is the last time she will see me.
It was conscription day. All other 20 year olds are going up the steps with their family saying their goodbyes. Some mothers and fathers have been crying their eyes out watching as they send their young ones up the steps to Basgiath. Others can be heard begging their loved ones not to go and it is not too late to change their minds. Oh, to have that luxury. Sloane was the only friend that I had since I could remember. Our families were close before that day. When we were relocated to our new homes. I made sure to keep in touch with her. She was the only thing closest to the family I had left and I was not going to let the empire take that away from me.
“When you get there and find him, can you give him this?” Slone said, handing me a whittled cat. Horribly whittled but Liam had always been the talented one from what I could remember. “It’s not the best looking thing but it was the best I could do with the slight memory of Chip.”
Chip was the ugliest stray kitten Sloane and I found when we were 5. He was covered in dirt and who knows what other diseases he had. But Liam was the one who cleaned him up for his little sister just to make her happy. I always thought maybe he looked ugly because he was a stray but he never grew out of that ugly face. Sloane was in love with that thing even with its ugliness.
“I don’t think it was a memory issue.” I looked closely at the wood piece. “I didn’t know how Chip could be any uglier, I guess I was wrong.” I said taking the little figure and shoved it into the pocket on the inside of my jacket.
“Hey! It took me almost 3 weeks to make it. If Liam doesn’t see my effort then he can consider himself no longer my brother.” she let out a soft laugh then looked into my eyes with her blue iris. “Please make it to next year. I don’t want to deal with my brother alone.”
“But I have to?” I said, raising an eyebrow at her.
“You guys always got along, what are you talking about?” Yeah, a long time ago.
“Stay alive for me.” I can see the sadness in her eyes as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ears. I turned to head up the stairs again. If I keep standing there I will close my courage to leave Sloane behind. This is the 1st time I will be leaving her for that long. Even when we went to new homes it only took me about 2 months to find a way to get in contact with her again.
“Name?” A guy who looked like a captain from the clothes and patches he was wearing said.
“A’Lexi Cormen.” I stated.
The scribe next to him looks up at me giving the look I know too well. The same look all the children had given me when I moved into her new foster house. The lady of the house thought it would have been a good idea to set up a play date with some of the other kids around town so I could make new friends. That couldn’t have been any more wrong. One look at my rebellion relic and their faces changed from innocent kids to hostile devlies. That night I wanted to end it all but something in me told me to go look for Sloane. Maybe she was in the same boat as me. I couldn’t let her go through that alone.
The captain pointed to the hundreds of stairs behind him, not bothering to look at me. I walk over to start my ascent to the top. I ignored the hundreds of other people climbing the stairs and climbed fast. I’m small and just from appearance might not look like much. I promised Sloane to make it through Basgiath with her when we were 14, I am not about to break a promise. I practically sprinted to the top of the stairs. I looked around at the people around me carrying packs filled with stuff. I don’t have but a small sack on my back filled with mostly weapons. I scan the faces around looking for some blonde hair. With the clouds and the murky air, it made it hard to spot anyone farther than a couple feet in front. You better make it across. I am not going to tell your sister I couldn't give this ugly cat to you before you died. I took a deep breath and placed one foot on the parapet. The clouds started to get dark as some drops of rain kissed my face. Great . I slid my hands over the bottom of my boots to get some more traction and started my crossing. Some commotion was going on in front of me. I look up to see a guy being picked up from and then thrown over the parapet.
“You’re next, Sorrengail!” The guy said as he turned back to the girl in front.
Sorrengail…she's here too. I kept my distance from the guy in front. Just cause he wants her dead like me doesn’t mean he won’t turn that anger on me as well, like the last guy. Towards the end of the parapet they created another commotion causing the line of people to stop on the parapet. From where I was I could see and hear the conversation. She's not bad with a dagger. I'll give her that. As she walked away I could see a slight limp like she injured something. Probably from falling on the parapet. I made my way to the end of the parapet and hopped onto the courtyard like I've done this too many times. I told my name to the rider and walked away while keeping my eye on the Sorrengail girl.
“Glare any harder your eyes might pop out your head.” A deep voice said from behind then stood next to me looking at Sorrengail.
I kept my straight face and glared up to my right and saw the blonde I was looking for earlier. My height was barely reaching his shoulders. He definitely grew. His sky-blue eyes look down at me with a smile pulled across his face. That warm smile. I turned my eyes away from him and reached into my jacket to grab the small figure and handed it to him. I purposely flatten my hand to avoid him touching me as he grabbed the wood piece.
“Your whittling skills suck.” He said taking the ugly cat into his hands.
“Not me, Sloane.” I said
His face still held a beautiful smile but his eyes told a different story. Sorrow and worry . He clutched the wood piece and put it in his pocket.
“How has she been?”
“Good, I assume. Considering the situation.” If you’d visit us you would have known. I walked away from him towards the courtyard.
“And you?” He said and followed behind me.
“You really don’t have to be my friend. Just because I like Sloane does not mean I like you.” I bluntly said, stopping in my tracks and looked into the crowd in front of me .
“Last I remembered you liked me very much but what kind of brother would I be if I don’t keep my sister’s best friend alive?”
“I can handle myself. I made it across without any help. I didn't need help before, I certainly don’t need it now.” I said ignoring his 1st statement.
“Three hundred and one of you have survived the parapet to become cadets today.” The Commandant said over the crowd interrupting Liam’s and I’s conversation. “Good job. Sixty-seven did not. As the Codex says, now you begin the true crucible! You will be tested by your superiors, hunted by your peers, and guided by your instincts. If you survive to Threshing, and if you are chosen, you will be riders. Then we’ll see how many of you make it to graduation.”
I blurred out the rest of his speech and scanned the people around me. Around 500 other people from leaders to cadeits to other years filled up the courtyard. My height only gave me enough to see the front crowd when I peek in between people’s clashing shoulders.
“I can put you on my shoulders if you want to see the front.” Liam said, leaning down whispering in my ear.
“You’re exposing your jugular. I can kill you in less than 5 mins.” I turned my head to face his glaring at him. His face was merely inches away from mine.
“As murderous as ever.” Liam’s smile turned into a smirk.
They started to separate the cadets into groups. They slowly made their way down from each section and wing. The rain was no longer pouring on us like it was earlier. How covenant when I was crossing the parapet it was pouring and now I’m standing and waiting it is sunny as hell. I unraveled my bun which consisted of two braids. I rang out my wet hair and put it back into a low bun.
“Liam Mairi, Fourth wing, Second squad, Tail section” I feel the warmth of his figure slowly leave to get into his section.
“A’lexi Cormen, Fourth wing, Second squad, Tail section.” They announced. You gotta be kidding me.
I walked over to my section getting in line behind the others and next to Liam.
“I shall inform my sister of your stalkerish behavior.” He laughed. I rolled my eyes so hard I could feel it touching my brain. I ignored his comment and stared forward waiting for the rest of the cadets to be sorted into their sections. They finished announcing all the cadets and sorted them into the appropriate groups.
“You’re all cadets now.” Xaden’s voice boomed over our wing. “Take a look at your squad. These are the only people guaranteed by Codex not to kill you. But just because they can’t end your life doesn’t mean others won’t . You want a dragon? Earn one.”
The crowd started cheering like animals around us. I know far too well this place is a death sentence to the children of Rebellion. Without Xaden’s deal we would be dead alongside our family. Sometimes I wish he didn’t make that deal. But just because I don’t value my life doesn’t mean the other 106 children doesn’t. I told Sloane I’ll stay alive until she gets into Basgiath. What comes after I don’t care for.
“You feel invincible after the parapet, don’t you?” Xaden shouts. “You think you’re untouchable! You’re on the way to becoming the elite! The few! The chosen!”
The crowd cheers even louder around us. Fools . Every one of the unmarked ones has gotten riled up from Xaden’s words. They have never seen death or had death taken someone they love and care about. I hope they don’t end up caring for anyone in here or they will be in for a rude awakening. The loud beating of wings slowly getting closer to the courtyard. The wind hit us as they flew over the crowd. Some cadets stepped back from the gust wind coming from the powerful wings. They landed on the edge of the fortress eyeing every one of us. A few cadets started booking to the other side of the dragons trying to get away from them as fast as possible. A ray of heat radiated from above us as Sgeayl, Xaden’s dragon, burnt the runaways. I let out a scoff like laugh.
“What’s so funny?” Liam asked
“It’s just funny they come here to be dragon riders but run the minute they see one?”
“Ironic, isn’t it? They willingly came here while we are forced to be here.” A smirk grew on his face.
“Trust me, If it wasn’t for Sloane I would run too.”
“Why? Are you scared of dragons?” He tilted his head looking at me.
“Do I look scared to you?” I raised an eyebrow. “I’ve been near Sgeayl plenty of times since he was bonded with her.” Liam looked confused. “You think he only trained you since you guys fostered together?”
“Then why would you run?” He turned his head back to the front pretending to pay attention.
“So I can end up like them and meet Malek.” I said pointing at the streaming pile of what remains of the runway cadets.
Liam looked directly into my eyes as if he was trying to read my thoughts.
“That’s not happening.” He said sternly then turned back to the front.
I kept my eyes on the dragons as they lit up other cadets who decided to run after seeing the others burn. These massive creatures are more beautiful as I examine their movement on the edge. I am so used to seeing Sgeayl and occasionally Bodhi’s dragon, Cuir. Being able to see more flying in groups puts me in awe. For the 1st time in a long time I didn’t think of my dark thoughts, just mesmerized by the creatures.
“Anyone else feel like changing their mind” Xaden finally spoke after the dragons stopped burning cadets to ashes. “No? Excellent. Roughly half of you will be dead by this time next summer.” No other cadets decided to run or maybe they were too scared and were frozen in place. “A third of you again the year after that, and the same your last year. No one cares who your mommy or daddy is here. Even King Tauri’s second son died during threshing. So tell me again, do you feel invincible now that you’ve made it into the riders Quadrant? Untouchable? Elite?”
The silence was loud.
We were given our schedule and shown where we would be sleeping. The 1st years would be sleeping in the same area given small beds next to each other. Liam insisted on sleeping on the bed next to mine. Claiming to be on “protective brother duty”. Making me really wished they implemented gender sleeping arrangements, but the male to female ratio was far outnumbered by the amount of guys who made it across the parapet to make the arrangements work. We were also given standard uniforms to change into before heading out to class. I blanked out during Battle Brief. Nothing coming out of their mouths was the whole truth anyways. I had my head dropped down on the table spinning the pencil I’ve been using to draw.
“If you don’t pay attention they will start picking on you for answers.” Liam whispered enough for me to hear.
“What are they going to do? Force me to talk?” I sighed and picked up my head.
“No but you’ll fail and won’t graduate. You can be great while sparing or on the gauntlet but without passing these classes they won’t let you leave.”
“I’m not planning to make it to graduation, so don’t worry about me. How about you worry about me when I beat you up the gauntlet.” I said tapping my pencil.
“I’d like to see you try. Last time I remember I won every race we did.” He smirked.
“You were cheating and I didn’t grow into my legs yet.” I glared.
“Whatever you say.” He said then leaned back into his chair and crossed his arms. “They give a patch to the best times on the gauntlet. If you get the patch I’ll leave you alone and won't bother you again. I win and you owe me something.”
I looked over at him to see if he is being serious.
“No bothering me?”
“Yup.”
“Act like you don’t know me and you have a deal.” I didn’t even have to ask what that something is because I’m not losing.
He looked confused. “Why do you want me to leave you alone so bad?”
“Win and maybe I’ll tell you.”
“Deal.” He put out his pinky and waited on me. He still remembers. We would make deals when we were little and pinky promises. I wrapped my pinky around his and touched our thumbs. I looked at him through my lashes and saw him looking at me with those stupid eyes. I quickly let go and turned back into the class conversation.
“We are assessing your stills today. No blades or signets. Make it a fair fight.” Professor Emetterio announced over the mats in front of us. Everyone circles around the different mats watching as 1st years spar and demonstrate their fighting skills. My eyes were caught by the body plopping on the grown next to the same guy who was in front of me on the parapet. Jake?. No, Jack was his name.
“Sweet Malek,” A voice whispered.
I glanced to see it was Violet with fear written across her face. God how is she going to survive. Her mother might have been in charge of killing my family, but like me she wouldn’t have a choice in it being only 14 when it happened. From what I heard she was supposed to be a scribe not here. Probability due to her mother wanting all her offspring to be riders. She seems to have made some friends. Hopefully they teach her how to fight or at least survive.
“A’lexi and Sawyer take the mat.” Professor Emetterio said.
I walked over to the mat and Sawyer followed behind and we both stepped on the mat. He was at least a foot taller than me, maybe more. He was lean but very built from what I can see from her tight shirt.
“Do you think this is a fair fight?” He questioned the professor.
I smirked.