Chapter Text
"Time moves so damn slow I swear I feel my organs failing,
I stopped caring about a month ago, since then it's been smooth sailing."
Leaning his forearms against the cold counter top of the bar, Sirius sipped absentmindedly on his drink, eyes locked on the slightly raised stage on the far side of the pub. It was well into the night, the dark of the small establishment making it so he had to squint to make out the details of the figure sitting there, cross-legged with a large acoustic guitar resting on his worn-out blue jeans. Light auburn waves fell over the musician's face; angled and almost jagged features in stark contrast to the softness of his eyes. His face was slightly scarred, and long, almost spindly fingers pressed against the fingerboard of his guitar in an awkward but skilled manor. From his spot at the bar Sirius could see a dark crescent moon tattooed crudely below one of his knuckles, faded and blue with age.
"I would leave if only I could find a reason."
The man's shapes and angles seemed to draw Sirius in the longer he stared, a trap he had found himself falling into night after night. Still, he let himself get lost in the rhythm of the musicians words and the small facial expressions that he could see from his stool. His eyes followed the sharp lines of scars like an atlas, before the man looked up to make eye contact with him for just a moment. Caught, Sirius just stared into the stranger's green eyes as the man quirked a small smile towards him. Then he was looking once again at his guitar, and Sirius almost felt at loss.
"I've got dreams, but I can't make myself believe them;
I'll spend the rest of my life with what could have been."
Behind him, Sirius heard a glass clack heavily against the bar. He jumped slightly, before turning on his stool to face the bartender.
"Old fashioned," the woman said, barely looking at him as she slid the glass his way.
"But I ordered-"
"A mint julep? Yeah, I know. But I'm not muddling mint for you at nearly twelve in the fucking morning." The woman leaned against the counter from behind the bar, groaning slightly as she rubbed her brows. "Bad enough that you're making me put up with you for nearly half my shift. I'm gonna have to start asking Potter for babysitting money."
"Whatever, I'm an absolute joy." Sirius said it with a slight mumble, eyes darting off almost reflexively to the guitarist, now humming along to the melody between verses. The tap of nails on the counter top brought him back, and with a flat expression the man focused back on the woman in front of him. "What?"
"Seriously?" Mary asked, one brow raised in disgust that Sirius hope was feigned— probably not, though. "'What'? Like you haven't been drooling over the poor lad since you moved back into town? Get a grip, Black."
Sirius rolled his eyes at Mary, who in turn shoved him lightly. The dark haired man took a sip of his drink.
"Y'know, I might kill someone if you don't talk to him soon." Mary said casually after a moment. "Like, actually commit a crime. I don't know how much more of this—" she gestured between Sirius and the man in the back of the pub "—I can take before I blow a gasket."
"Macs—"
"No. Nope, don't 'Macs' me. You're talking to him. Tonight."
"Or?" Sirius challenged, eyes locking with his friend.
"Oh, Sirius." Mary's faux pitty came out in full swing as she put a hand on his shoulder. "You're using my discount, babes. There is no 'or'."
She patted him on the shoulder and walked off, leaving Sirius alone and tipsy at the bar. With a huff he spun his stool back towards the stage, watching as the musician started packing his things back into a beat up guitar case. With the last swig of his drink Sirius found himself standing, spinning his rings idly before stepping forward with a head full of false confidence.
"Hey," Sirius said, clearing his voice and making the stranger look up to meet his eyes from where he was leaning over the case.
"Hey." Green eyes found Sirius' quickly, and the sharp smile that spread across the musician's face took the breath from his lungs for a second or two. Pushing himself up with huff, the man leaned against a wooden cane and blew the hair from his face. The two looked at each other for a moment before the guitarist laughed lowly.
He was waiting for Sirius to continue.
Right.
"I- sorry. I like your singing"
"Thank you," the man said, still making eye contact with Sirius. Distracting, if you asked him. "Glad someone enjoyed it."
"How could anyone not?" Sirius smiled a bit, offering his hand out. "I'm Sirius, by the way."
"Remus," the other offered, shifting his weight from his cane to shake Sirius' hand. "Nice to meet you. Officially that is."
"Ah, right." Sirius cringed inwardly at himself, doing his best not to show it. "Didn't mean to be a creep or anything, just come here a lot."
"'S fine," Remus said with a chuckle, the sound deep and a little awkward. Nonetheless, it made Sirius' heart flutter almost embarrassingly.
Glancing slightly towards the bar Sirius caught sight of Mary, who gestured impatiently to him. With a slight roll to his eyes he turned back towards Remus.
"Do you drink?" Sirius asked, stumbling a bit on his wording. "Could I buy you a drink?"
Remus smiled again, and from behind it Sirius caught a glimpse of a snaggletooth. As if he needed another reason to sneak glances at his lips.
"I'd like that, yeah."
⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡
The look Mary gave Sirius when he took a seat at the bar with Remus in tow was one of silent prayers finally being answered. She finished pouring another patron a pint before walking over to them, leaning against the bar.
"Boys," Mary chimed. "What can I do for you?"
"Mint Julep," Sirius said, staring at Mary with a catty expression.
"Just a gin and tonic, please." Remus answered with a polite smile.
"G n' T and an Old Fashioned," Mary confirmed, matching Sirius' glare before tapping the counter. "Be back in a sec."
Relative quiet fell over the young men for a moment, Sirius going back to twisting his rings. The action must have caught the attention of the man next to him, and Remus seemed to take it as a sign to speak up again.
"So," Remus started, gaze on his own hands. "What brings you?"
"Oh, uh, my friend? Mary, she works the bar and let's me hang around whenever--"
"No," Remus said with a laugh, brighter than before. "To Edinburgh, I mean. Not to press, you just don't exactly seem local."
"Right," Sirius chuckled, kicking himself a bit in his mind. "No, I'm from London, I come up here for uni."
Remus hummed in response as Mary came back with two glasses, nodding to her in thanks as he took a sip of his drink. Sirius did the same, pointedly ignoring the satisfied look his friend gave him as she walked away.
"How is it?" Remus asked, looking at Sirius over the top of his glass. "London?"
"'S fine I suppose," Sirius said with a shrug. "Have you never been?"
"Nah," Remus shook his head, letting out a small but tired huff. "Never been one for big cities."
"He says, staying in the capitol city." Sirius smirked a bit, and from what he could tell Remus took his jest in kind. "What brings you here, then?"
Remus smiled a bit, as if acknowledging an inside joke.
"Same as you," he said, propping his head up on his arm on the bar. "School."
"For what?"
"Teaching," Remus responded, looking into his drink. Sirius raised his brows at him, unsure of if he was kidding or not.
"Really?"
"Really," Remus said with a chuckle, looking back up to Sirius. "I'm in a music education program. Is it that hard to believe?"
"Guess not," Sirius shrugged, though honestly why anyone would want to be a teacher was beyond him. "Just not usually the top of the list in music career choices."
"What about you, then?"
"Hmm?" Sirius hummed, making the mistake of up into Remus' eyes. He wondered if the center of them always reflected gold, or if it was a trick of the light. Catching himself staring again, the man cleared his throat and looked down at his chipped black nails. "What about me?"
"You said you were in town for uni," Remus repeated, his tone light. "What do you study?"
"Performing arts," Sirius answered, to which Remus grinned. "I'm working on getting my BFA. Classical music is my main focus, but I play some other things here and there. Draw too, but that's more for myself than my degree."
"What do you play?" Remus asked, tone seeming genuinely interested.
"Violin mostly," Sirius said with a huff. "But I sing and play guitar too. I can play the piano, but I kind of despise it so... Yeah."
"Quite the busy bee you are, huh?" Remus laughed, the low sound chiming in a way that made Sirius' heart skip a beat. Something twinkled in his eyes again, and with a sarcastic grin, Remus continued. "Guess you really are quite the star."
Sirius rolled his eyes, but the wide smile on his face did more than give him away.
"Hilarious," Sirius said sarcastically, trying to hide the laugh in his voice. "You know, you're actually the first person to ever make that joke. How'd you come up with it?"
Remus shrugged, lips pressed tight into a grin as he took a sip from his drink.
The two men found themselves comfortably chatting for bit about mostly unimportant things; Where did you grow up? Who's your favorite musician? Have you been to the museum down the street? What's your favorite thing about staying in Edinburgh? Sirius found himself settling more and more into the flow of conversation as the night went on, the liquid courage in his blood and the sing-song voice of the man next to him lulling him out of his initial nervousness and leaving him glad that he approached Remus after all. Even if that meant that Mary would forever hold it over his head.
"So," Remus started, now fully facing Sirius; he wasn't sure when they turned away from the bar, but wasn't complaining. "What uni are you going to? Don't think you ever said, just your major."
"Right," Sirius recalled, brushing a strand of dark hair away from his face. "I go to Hogwarts, it's my second year there. I don't live in the dorms anymore, but me and my mate have a flat not far from the main campus."
"Shit, really?" Remus said with an amused expression. Sirius furrowed his brows at him. "That's where I'm starting at this semester."
"Oh really!" The exclamation was filled with genuine excitement; while it was Sirius' second year being in Scotland for school, he still didn't have many friends outside the group he already knew before starting there. That, and he was more than alright with the idea of being able to see Remus around more often. "That's amazing! Where are you staying?"
Remus hesitated for just a moment, making Sirius mentally curse at himself.
"Sorry, that was a weird thing to ask, wasn't it?"
"No, you're fine." Remus breathed out a mildly strained laugh, looking down at his hands. Sirius couldn't help but notice the way the man absentmindedly traced the pattern of the crescent moon tattoo with his fingertips. "I, ah, I haven't moved in yet. There was some last minute 'administrative issues', and long story short I won't have a dorm to stay in until Tuesday at the earliest."
Sirius gave Remus a sympathetic look, knowing himself damn well how 'smoothly' the school operates.
"Do you need anywhere to crash?" Sirius asked, once again hoping he wasn't coming across the wrong way.
"Nah," Remus said casually, waving his hand and smiling, if somewhat awkwardly. "I've got it figured out. Plus, only a few more nights yet. I'll live."
The back and forth banter continued for longer than either of them were aware, stopping only when Mary made the announcement for last call. Finishing off the drink he had been nursing, Remus started gathering his things while Sirius closed out the tab. Before saying his goodbyes, the taller man dug around in the pocket of his guitar case before pulling out a pen. With a barely hidden look of anticipation, he turned towards Sirius again and held out his hand.
Sirius moved to shake his hand, hesitant and a bit confused. Once they made contact, however, Remus pulled Sirius' hand closer to him and scribbled something on the back of it with his pen.
"Getting an autograph, am I?" Sirius teased, watching as Remus finished and recapped the pen. "Lucky me."
"Whatever you say, stardust."
Remus smiled one last time before slinging his guitar case back over his shoulder and waving to both Sirius and Mary. Sirius watched as Remus walked past the pub doors, looking down at his hand to see what was written.
Text me
1766 365 154
Feeling a rush of heat in his face, Sirius smiled to himself for a moment before he heard Mary calling to him from behind the bar. Clearing his throat, he quickly hid his hand in his pocket before turning and sitting back in the stool across from his friend.
"Smooth," Mary said, voice monotone as she cleared glasses off the bar top. "Do I need to say it or…"
"No, you do not." Sirius huffed, putting his head down on the counter to hide from the woman's gaze. "Not that that's going to stop you."
"First of all, get your head off the bar I just cleaned." Mary shot, making Sirius begrudgingly raise his head. "Second, you're right. I told you so."
"Whatever," Sirius mumbled, mostly to himself. "Do you have to close up again?"
"Nah, Cas is taking over. I just have to finish clearing off and we're out of here."
"Thank God," Sirius droned dramatically. "I hate waiting for you outside."
"Aye, right. You know you can walk home without me, yeah?"
"But then who would you complain to about all your favorite customers?"
Mary made a sound of disgust as she brought the rest of the empty cups to the sink, dropping her bar towel into the dirty bin before grabbing her things from under the counter. The woman shouted a thanks and goodbye to her remaining coworkers, leaving them behind as her and Sirius departed.
Their walk home was always more or less the same; talking about upcoming classes, complaining about whatever patron was on Mary's nerves that night, chattering about whatever came to mind until they reached Mary's flat and the two would have to depart. Tonight was quieter than some, mostly being how late it was and how little patience either of them had to get back to their own beds.
"So," Mary started, hands tucked into her pockets as they walked. She had taken her ponytail down after leaving the pub, saying it was giving her a headache, and her dark coils blew behind her in the wind and in front of her face. "You going to call him then?"
"I dunno," Sirius lied, thinking back to the smile Remus gave him as he left. "Maybe."
"Maybe my ass," Mary said, her voice teasing but soft. "You pine from afar for two and a half weeks, he happily gives you his number, and you're telling me it's not a one-hundred percent chance you're calling it? Who are you and what have you done with my dear Padfoot?"
"You know I don't have good luck with this type of thing, Macs."
"Nothing about luck," Mary responded with a shrug. "Your taste in men is just… Not ideal, shall we say?"
"You're telling me," Sirius said under his breath, picking at his nails as he walked. "Remus seems… He seems nice, though. And, God, have you seen him?"
"Still gay, Black." Mary's voice was deadpan. "Plus I don't date musicians. You're all bell-ends."
"Yeah, yeah." Sirius laughed, his eyes falling to his boots. "Anyway, send my your official schedule when you can, yeah? I'm meant to be getting mine tomorrow."
"Will do," Mary confirmed as they came up to the door of her flat. Turning towards her friend she opened her arms, the two embracing tightly for a moment. She smiled, patting Sirius on the back as he pressed a friendly kiss into her cheek. "Text me when you get home, okay?"
"Of course," Sirius said, waving before he continued down the road to his shared flat.
"Before the bloke!"
Laughing under his breath he turned back towards Mary, flipping her off playfully as he walked.
⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡
Clicking the door to his shared flat as softly as he could, Sirius let out a breath and set his bag on the ground. The place was quiet, but from somewhere behind a door he could hear faint speech; James had probably fallen asleep watching something again. Smiling softly Sirius leaned down and untied his boots, slipping them off and carrying them with him down the hall.
Reaching James' room he creaked the door open slowly, unsurprised to see the man asleep on his bed with his laptop open and still playing 'Scott Pilgrim vs The World'. With a chuckle Sirius tapped to pause the film before closing the laptop and putting it on the bedside table. In bed James stirred, but didn't wake.
Good, Sirius thought, covering the man with blankets before leaving the room and closing the door gently behind him. Reaching the end of the hall he opened the door to his own room, dropping his boots unceremoniously onto the floor by his closet.
Not bothering to change clothes the man flopped into his daybed, eyes closing as he did. Suddenly feeling the tiredness of the night fall on him, Sirius yawned. Sleep was already tempting him, pulling at him from the back of his mind. With a huff the man pulled out his phone, opening it and quickly shooting Mary a text.
ME 02:04;
im home
dont forget to feed samwise before you pass out
A moment passed and he saw a typing bubble pop up, before a new message flashed across his screen
Macs! 02:05;
sammys been fed alr
if i didn know better id think u were only friends with me for that dog
also drink water before bed or ull be hungover as shit tomorrow
im not dealing with ur bs again
Smiling, Sirius shook his head. He stared at his phone idly for a moment before his gaze shifted, catching on the smudged ink on his hand. Biting his lip, Sirius opened up a new contact on his phone. He typed in the number, checking and double checking that it was correct before sending a message.
ME 02:07;
hey
this is sirius from the pub
hope you got home safe !
Sirius stared at his phone intently, reading the messages he sent over and over again. After a moment he huffed, clicking the screen off and dropping his arms to the bed.
Letting his eyes wander for the first time since he got home, Sirius took in the low light of his room. The walls were still mostly bare save for a few Polaroid photos of him and his friends hung above his vanity desk, and there were still a few small, open but unsorted boxes sitting on his dresser. Dirty and clean clothes alike were strewn about the floor, and from his view point he could see piles of books and sketchpads sitting in the corner near his violin case and dance bag.
At last he let his eyes fall above him, sights catching on the closed window over the headboard. With a heavy sigh, Sirius forced himself up and stood on the bed, using what strength remained in his tired arms to push it open.
Immediately the breeze hit him, blowing his curls back and making his eyelids flutter. Folding his arms to rest on the windowsill, Sirius looked outside. Below him city life slowed, the streets empty besides the occasional car or pedestrian. The streetlights glowed softly, reflecting in the puddles left behind from the previous day's rain.
Above him, though, is what stole the thoughts from his head.
Sirius had always loved the stars; it was in his destiny to do so. The night sky always had a tendency to catch his attention, following the lights of celestial bodies like road maps for minutes or hours at a time. Tiny specks of brightness on a canvas of pitch, guiding him through life and providing him a constant.
"We're Blacks," his cousin had told him once when he was young, running fingers through his hair as she tried to comfort him. "We have stardust in our veins. They course through us every day. They give us our names and our lives and watch over our dreams. And one day, we all go home to them."
Sirius didn't realize he was holding his breath until it pushed out of his lungs, rattling and shaky. He brought a hand up to his face, rubbing his brow bone harshly before using it to prop his head up against the windowsill. Huffing, he let his eyes wander the sky until it caught on the familiar hook-shaped constellation of Leo.
And one day, we all go home to them.
The noise that wracked his chest was sudden; not even he saw it coming. Feeling his eyes well up, Sirius took in a sharp breath and laughed sharply.
"It's been a while, hmm?" Sirius spoke softly, his voice slightly hoarse. "Almost six years."
The silence of his bedroom was almost painful. Pointed and sharp, as if driving home the fact that he was alone. That there would never again be a response, no matter how much he would give to hear the voice again.
"I—" Sirius cleared his throat, as if there was anyone to hear the scratch in his voice. As if on cue a soft knock came from the door of his room, and with a sigh Sirius rested his head on the frame of the window. "Come in."
The door creaked open slowly, James stepping into the room rubbing his eyes from under his rounded glasses.
"Pads?" James asked, voice full of sleep. "You okay?"
"Fine," Sirius answered, though his voice was quieter than he meant it to be. "Sorry if I woke you up."
"'S alright, mate." James paused for a moment, watching as Sirius still gazed out the window into the night. "How was the pub? You were out pretty late again."
"It was good," Sirius hummed tiredly. "Thought I'd keep Mary company for her last few shifts of the summer."
"How charitable," James teased, sitting on the edge of the bed before flopping to lay on his back. Sirius finally tore his eyes off the sky, looking down to see his best friend playing lazily with his hair. "An act that I'm sure had nothing to do with your mystery man. What was it you called him? Moony?"
"Remus," Sirius said, a faint smile tugging at his lips as he thought of the man. "His name is Remus."
"No shit," James exclaimed, smiling in turn as moved to sit up. "So you actually talked to him then?"
"Oh shut up, don't act so surprised!"
"I'm just saying!"
James laughed, dodging as Sirius kicked a pillow at him.
"None of you have any faith in me."
Sirius sighed melodramatically, gaze falling back out the window. This time, when he caught sight of the stars, they didn't seem to weigh on him quite as much. James always had a way of doing that; making even the darkest nights a little brighter.
Below him James yawned, an action that passed to him as well. Suddenly reminded of the weight of gravity on him, Sirius sat back down on the daybed.
"I'm going back to bed," James announced after a moment, mostly mumbling as he checked the time on the alarm clock. "Get some rest, yeah?"
"Yeah," Sirius agreed, finally taking off his leather jacket and throwing it with the other clothes near the end of his bed. "Night, Prongs."
"Night, Padfoot."
James stood and made his way to the door, only stopping when Sirius called out again.
"Hey, James?" the man asked, voice somewhat unsure. Both of them paused, before Sirius huffed and gave a small smile. "Thanks."
"Course mate," James said kindly, soft brown eyes wrinkling a bit as he gave a tired but genuine smile in return. "I'll see you in the morning."
The door closed gently behind James as he left, shutting with a soft click. Sirius sighed to himself, getting the rest of the way ready for bed. Then, as he was pulling his hair into a braid, he heard his phone vibrate on the nightstand.
Moony 02:18;
hey :)
thanks for txting, and thank you for the drinks
i can't remember if i thanked you for that yet haha
Sirius smiled widely, quickly opening the notifications.
ME 02:19;
of course !
thanks for joining me :)
Moony 02:19;
was my pleasure
i was thinking, would you let me repay you?
ME 02:20;
its really not a problem
Moony 02:20;
i insist really
coffee? on me?
Holding his breath subconsciously, Sirius felt his stomach flip. Trying not to get ahead of himself, he typed out what he hoped was an appropriate response.
ME 02:21;
id love to !
Moony 02:21;
great :)
does saturday morning work?
i can pick you up if youd like
ME 02:21;
that would be perfect
As much as he hated to, Sirius couldn't ignore the heaviness in his eyes much longer and plugged his phone in on his bedside table. Before he curled under the covers, he unlocked it one last time and opened the messages.
ME 02:23;
im heading to bed, ill talk to you tomorrow?
Moony 02:24;
course!
goodnight, sirius
ME 02:24;
night remus :)
Finally letting himself rest for the night, Sirius clicked his phone off and turned to lay on his side. Above him the light shone in from the window, and from the new angle he could see both the scattered stars and the nearly full moon. Something in his stomach churned, but before he let himself dive head first into another spiral of thoughts and memories, Sirius let his eyes fall closed.
"Sleep well, little lion."