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Regulus wants James to fuck him and to teach him how to do it because he’s been on and off in a relationship with Barty and he is sure they’re gonna take the next step and he wants to be good at it.
That’s why Regulus finds himself knocking on James door, in the middle of a summer night. His brother went to visit Remus, because apparently seeing his best friend three times a week wasn’t enough. And Effie and Monty went out for dinner, they said they’d be a while.
So Regulus is doing this, he is about to ask James Potter to fuck him.
“Come in” Oh bloody James and his sweet voice. Regulus enters the room and James greets him with a smile. “Hey Reg, wanna do something tonight since everybody is out? We could watch one of your favourite movies, I could cook for you…”
Regulus needed to just say it, or else he’ll chicken out. So he very rudely interruptes sweet James. “ I need you to fuck me”
James fell from his chair when he heard him and he was chocking on his own speed, he was also a very concerning shade of a mix between red and pink.
“Excuse me, what!?” James was in shock and his face was painted with disbelief, there is no way the young boy meant it. Little Reggie was just messing with him.
But James doesn’t think he can take that kind of jokes.
See, the thing is, Regulus has a boyfriend, and lets see there’s that other minor detail, yeah the fact that James is in love with Regulus. Getting to know him the past summer and this last year has been the best experience ever. But he promise himself never to tell anyone, he didn’t want to lose his friendship with Regulus or with Sirius and he wanted to respect Regulus process regarding his transition, he wanted to help him, not to add another thing to his problems. Annoying James Potter being in love with him.
But he couldn't help it, in his eyes Regulus was perfect.
“You heard me the first time Potter, don’t make me repeat myself”
“Wow wow wow wow, since when are we back to Potter, what happened to Jamie? You pain me Reggie” James was trying to be little playful, he needed to defuse the tension.
“Oh shut up James. Please I need your help, I’m asking as a friend. Please?”
James mouth was dry and he was once again in utter shock. Did Regulus really mean this ?
Regulus was getting nervous. Why was James so quiet? James is never quiet, bloody hell. Then it hit him, his worst fear came true.
“You don’t want me because I’m trans.” That wasn’t a question, it was more of an statement that came with Regulus realisation.
This is his biggest fear and worst insecurity.
Regulus should had listened to the voices in his head, telling him to be afraid and that no man would ever want him like this. Why didn’t he listen? The voices most be there for a reason beyond the solid proposes of feating his anxiety, right?
You see, last year Regulus came out to his brother as trans. Sirius was very understanding and nice with him, he was the best brother he could ever ask for. I mean the guy just hugged him and accepted it, no questions ask. Regulus then decided to come out to his parents, Sirius was there by his side and that is when it all went south. His father was furious and his mother said that was and scandal and a total aberration. Father said he could fix him with some cruciatus and imperius curses. He was so scare but Sirius came to the rescue, they both fought their parents that day, and they both took some pretty nasty hexes, but they manage to scape since they caught their parents of guard and Sirius seemed to be prepared to escape that place for a while now.
They both were severely injured. Regulus was really scared but Sirius didn’t let go of him, not once; and before Regulus knew it they were both standing in front of a familiar door. They were at the Potters.
Of course they took them in. They were some of the kindest people in the world and James was eager to help the Black brothers. They were his favourite people ever, alongside Remus, Peter and Marlene.
So Regulus grew closer to James during that first summer.
He has alway have had a crush on James, mostly because he is sweet but mainly because of those unholy thighs.
It’s been a year since that awful day.
But now Regulus is dating Barty, just because he wanted to have a boyfriend.
Ever since he came out as a trans gay guy he has find himself wanting to emerge himself into the whole experience and not wanting to waste another minute.
And there was Barty, one of his two best friends and a handsome bloke who happened to be gay. Destiny.
Regulus didn’t think he’ll find another gay guy who would want to date a trans man, so he is taking this beautiful opportunity and he is trying to enjoy it, but he has some communication issues with his former best mate. He is sure they are both in it for the wrong reasons and that’s why it hasn’t been working out. They’ve been on and off for a year now.
Regulus would never admit this to anyone, but he is also dating Barty to get over James or at least as a distraction. Because, the closer he gets to James, the bigger his crush gets. So he needs this and he needs it to work, because Regulus can not imagine a universe where he’d be allowed to date James Potter. But he thought he’ll take whatever he can get from James,literally whatever, he sometimes think he would let James step on him.
“WHAT? No!” James rush to say “not at all, is not that. I - I mmm -is it hot in here?” James could feel himself getting more nervous with every second that passed. “You really mean it? Or is this like a pay back prank? Because I already said I was sorry for all the pranks that affected you, and this one is not funny Reg.”
“Yes James, I mean it.” Regulus didn’t even bat and eye. WHY DID REGULUS WANTED TO SLEEP WITH HIM, WAS HE DREAMING?
“But- but… Regulus I can’t. You have a boyfriend and you are Sirius little brother.”
“So it has nothing to do with the fact that I’m trans?”
“No no, of course not.” James wanted to be very clear.
“Do you not like boys?”
“Yes, yes I do.” James though back to every time he cought himself staring at Regulus for way to long or every time he had been mesmerised by his beauty. Every time Regulus wear those fancy clothes or whenever he was playing quidditch and those robes that were so very kind to Regs ass. “I very much do”
Regulus didn’t look very convinced.
“ Do you like girls?”
“Yes.” Now James felt a bit weird. Why was one of his best friends interrogating him like this.
“Did you like me better when I was female presenting?”
“What!? No! Of course not!”
“So you are saying I was an ugly girl?”
“Wait No! I never said that”
“Then what are you saying Jamie?” That nickname always drove James crazy. His palm were wet with sweat.
Was this some kind of friendship test? James didnt want to fail. So he did the only thing that he thought sensitive, he told Regulus the truth.
“ I’m saying I’m pansexual. I like you because of who you are, I don’t care if you are male or female presenting, or what’s in your pants”
“ But do you want to know?”
“ What?”
“What’s in my pants”
Now Regulus was just teasing him.
“Reggie” James was now wearing a furious blush. Of course he wanted to know, he has thought about being with Regulus more than he’d like to admit. But can you blame him? I mean look at the boy in front of him! Perfect black curls framing his face and that white milky skin, that looks so lickable. And don’t even get James started with the sharpness of his features, James wants to bleed out from a cut cause by Regulus jaw. And those grey eyes that James can’t stop thinking about, dreaming about. It’s a 24/7 thing. Regulus is just perfect, he has this tinny waist that James wants to man handle.
And that’s just the looks, James fell in love with Regulus unique personality and with the things Regulus only allows James to see. Like how kind he is, or how he worries about his friends. They even dance together once, last summer, in James room. He couldn’t believe it when Reggie stood up and started dancing to a speed up song. He was jumping around and James was just admiring how he looked, but then all of a sudden Reg grabbed his arm and pulled him close and now it was the two of them jumping around.
“I’m only teasing, sorry. So you like me? I mean do you find me attractive” I love you, that’s the problem, James thought. Oh Merlin.
“Come on Reg you’ve got to know you are very attractive lad.”
“Attractive enough for you to fuck me ?” There goes the cuffing and blushing again. James couldn’t just fuck him or let Regulus think he only wanted that. Or could he? Would it be so bad if James took whatever he could from the boy he was in love with?
James though about it for a second, but yes! Of course it would be awful and who was James to take what he wanted? What was even happening? This all seem so bizarre. And even if James agreed to, they couldn’t do this to Barty, he was Regulus boyfriend and friend. And even thought James didn't like him very much he was still close to his friend group now. They couldn’t do this to him. Right?
“What would your boyfriend think?”
“He is not here” Regulus change his tone and his whole body language, now it was alluring and very sexy. Inviting even. God James was not going to survived this
Regulus on the other hand was having a blast taunting with his favourite Gryffindor and he was determined to seduce him now.
“Reg stop it. I need you to tell me why are you doing this” James needed to stop him and in order to do that he needed to be firm with himself and with Regulus. Otherwise he’ll end up having his way with the young Slytherin right here right now.
Regulus immediately backed down. All he’s cockiness was gone. Now he felt ashamed.
He needed to tell James what this was all about, otherwise there could be misunderstanding that could lead to the disruption of his friendship with James and Regulus is sure he would never be able to bare that. He would rather die than lose his James, thank you very much.
“Barty wants to fuck and I’m nervous and I wanna be ready!” Regulus burst out in just one breath. Then he inhale and calm himself down for a quick second “I need to be good at it”
Regulus took a step back. He doesn’t like to admit how worried he is about being perfect at everything. Like he was the perfect child to his parents. And he always felt like there was no room for mistakes, because he didn't want to disappoint anyone.
That’s something that he oddly shares with James, but in different ways. James thinks he grew up with perfect parents and he owes them everything. He owes them to be the perfect child, with the perfect grades and the perfect quidditch player. He has to be the best at everything, always. He owed his friends, because they were so good to him, so he had to be the perfect friend. And he thought that everyone would leave him if he made a mistake.
But Regulus would find that about James latter on.
“And I want my first time to be with someone I trust and there is no one in the world I trust more than you” Regulus continued.
James heart jumped, okay his heart probably did a full on gymnastics routine. He felt falter so he gifted Regulus a sweet smile.
“Okay Reggie now I get it…”
“So how should we do this? Do you want me to get on top?” Regulus abruptly interrupted James because he didn't want to hear James moral excuses. He didn't care much for morality if he was being honest. He just wants James to be his first.
And there goes Jame blood, straight to his crotch. Wait come back I need you in my head I need to think clearly. Is all James can think. But the damage is done, so he pulls his hoodie a little to hide his growing erection.
“Wait Reggie, please let me speak.” James took a breath “I feel honoured, and I would do it, but Barty is supposed to be my friend and you are his boyfriend.”
“Supposed?”
“Oh shut up Reg, you know I love the guy”
“You did, then last year you started hating him for no apparent reason. I thought you were childhood friends or something.”
James did have a reason. Barty stole Regulus from him! Okay maybe Regulus wasn’t his, but still. He doesn’t think Barty is good enough for Regulus. Actually he doesn’t think there’s someone who’s good enough for Regulus.
“I don’t hate him.”
“Then why are you clenching your teeth?”
James didn’t even notice he was doing that. He doesn’t like to admit this, but he can be a very possessive person and jealousy sometimes consumes him. But he tries to not let those things get the best of him. Tries is the key word.
“Okay. That’s not important because we broke up again, so you have no excuse now” Regulus continued.
“Then why do you want to be ready for him?” That came out a little strong and James couldn’t take it back. But the thought of Regulus wanting to be good for Barty made James want to vomit.
“We are getting back together.”
“But why?” Now James sounded a little desperate. But honestly it was very annoying to see them break up and get back together all the time. It only pain James to think Regulus was suffering. And he would get his hopes up all the time, but then they would get back together.
“I like him and I like having a boyfriend, I never thought I would until last year.”
Regulus didn't know when they had gotten so close to each other, but now they were face to face, James was leaning down a bit to meet Regulus eyes.
“But Reggie, you could have any guy you wanted”
James knew he was getting a little to close but he couldn't help it.
“You know that’s not true Jamie.” Regulus said. Sadness in his tone. “Not every gay man would date a trans guy, and besides, I’m broken Jamie, you know that.” Regulus didn't spect to be crying when he first thought about coming to James room earlier today
James couldn't stand seeing Regulus cry.
“Don’t say that Reggie” He clean one of the younger boy tears with his thumb. Then something possessed him because he was now kissing another tear away. “I want you” he said. It was barely a whisper but they were so close, James knew Regulus heard him. He knew by the look on Regulus eyes. Then he saw those beautiful eyes drifting to his lips and he couldn’t help it anymore. He grabbed Regulus cheeks and he kissed him.