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It was said that rain was a way in which the Hydro divines communicated their emotions to those who would place enough faith in them to listen. Some would say that it was the Hydro Archon herself, while others related it to the saying of the youth, which depicted the Sovereign Dragon of Hydro as the source. Though for some, they brushed off the idea of faith and the divines having anything to do with the said natural occurrence and preferred to look at it in a more scientific light.
There was neither a right nor wrong answer. Because when it came down to it, whether or not it was divine communication, or the process of the water cycle, was not overly important. It was simply water that poured from the sky.
That was how the duke saw it anyway.
He rarely found himself in the overworld, though on occasions that he did, he found that it was always raining. While he didn’t despise it – on the contrary, he rather enjoyed the gloominess of the atmosphere, the musky scent that accompanied the humidity in the air, all of it, reminded him of his home in the underworld – it was always a slight inconvenience to work around in such weather conditions, and he did long to see the sun once again.
However, as his luck would have it, today was one of those gloomy, rainy days.
He had gotten used to the sound of the small droplet making heavy contact with the various materials around the entrance of the Fortress of Meropide, the cement, metal, and even the plops and splashes from them entering back into the ocean.
The rainfall seemed to be in an unpredictable state, going from light to heavy in a matter of moments.
The worst kind of rain was always when it was unpredictable, it could stop for two hours, then bucket down for eight consecutive hours. At least if it was steady rainfall, it was easy to mitigate any issues that came along with it.
But even so, he ascended the stairs, opening an umbrella as he did, and began his long and rather time-consuming trip to the main city.
While it was uncommon for him to step foot in the overworld, it was even more rare that he found himself in the city. He avoided it like that plague, all the people, the bright lights and crowded streets always made him feel sick to the stomach.
As a child, his home was down under the main city, a place that while still bustling with people, they were people he could comfortably be around, people who knew what a struggle was. Not the posh and sophisticated populus of the main city.
He had scheduled his trip around the aquabus time sheet, meaning that it arrived the moment he stepped foot under the cover of Marcotte Station.
It was rather quiet by the Opera Epiclese, which was normal for a rainy day, however, there was also the show that was being performed within the the opera house, which would also explain the abandoned footpaths.
He didn’t care. In fact, he quite liked being the only person around, the people of the overworld always seemed cautious around him. They would whisper and giggle behind cupped hands all while making extremely annoying eye contact, they would avoid sitting near him – which he understood.
Those in the overworld normally don’t view those in the underworld as people worth the time of day, they were outcasts, strays kicked from the pack, nobodies. They weren’t viewed as people, or even as human. It always annoyed him to hear people talk and mock his inmates, though over the years of being the Head Administrator, he had gotten used to it, and if they were to cross a line, a returned stare through his brow always shut them up.
He took a step onto the aquabus, giving a gentle nod to Elphane as he reached the main deck.
If there was one thing he enjoyed about the surface, it was the abundance of Melusines everywhere. Their dedication, gentle smiles, and collection of different personalities were someone he loved, probably because it’s what the fortress always lacked, and if he were to bring Sigewinne with him, she and the melusine she’d talk with always seem so content with things.
He refrained from taking a seat, to avoid getting his clothes soaked, so he simply opted to lean over the rail and observed the distant Opera Epiclese and the rest of Erinnyes through the think and heavy misty fog created by the rain.
A sigh escaped as his lips as he closed eyes. The umbrella was barely covering him, small gentle drops sneaking past the cover, landing on his clothes and face.
He reopened his eyes, taking a glance at the view, before fishing around in his pockets.
He pulled out a cigarette and gently placing it between his lips, then reached into his coat for a lighter.
A small huff of disapproval came from Elphane.
“Duke Wriothesley, you know that smoking is prohibited on the aquabuses,” she informed him, placing her paws on her hips.
He gave her a weak smile, “No one else is here Elphane, surely you can spare me the lecture this once?”
She huffed once again, before admitting defeat to his obnoxious- yet true statement. The rule was in place for the health, and comfort of other civilians taking the aquabus, however, since it was just herself and the duke, and she didn’t mind it, she let him off. Just this once.
He sent her another gentle smile, before fiddling with lighter. With harsh speed, he spun the small spark wheel with his calloused thumb, the wind was fighting him at every step of the way. Finally, he grew frustrated and trapped the umbrella he was holding between his hip at the railing as he cupped the lighter with his hand, preventing the wind from extinguishing the flame.
After some fiddling around, he was finally able to light the cigarette. After doing so, he slightly scoffed in victory, before slipping the lighter into his pant pocket, as it was too much of a hassle to tuck it back into his coat.
He took the cigarette between two of his point and middle finger, gently inhaling the smoke, watching as the end lit up with embers and small specks of ash fell into the air. He then tugged it out from his lips softly as he exhaled, watching as the smoke danced, then dispersed into the humid air, the scent softly lingering around him.
He continued this pattern for a few more breaths, each one calming his nerves, relaxing his body to a state that he could still focus, but still have a small cloud in his mind. As he exhaled for the last time, darkness slowly covered the little natural light he had, the aquabus had entered the undercover area, and was coming to steady stop.
He let out a gentle sigh, taking out a portable ashtray from one of his pockets, and putting out the cigarette. Giving Elphane a small nod, along with a small pouch of mora – not a practice expected by the public, but he always made sure to tip Elphane or the other aquabus guides whenever he caught one.
With that, he departed from the aquabus, and made his way to the elevator, closing his umbrella temporarily as he entered it, and pressed the button for the fourth level.
As he reached the fourth level, he re-opened the umbrella, and continued his way towards the grand building. Standing in all its beauty, even in the rain it was such an elegant and complex building.
The Palais Mermonia.
A fancy, yet fitting, name for such a building. However, as it housed the two most important people of Fontaine, you’d expect no less from it.
He closed the umbrella more permanently as he made his way through the grand doors of the building. Though, not before scraping his shoes outside, removing any built-up dirt, while also stomping slightly on each foot to remove any excess water from them.
He would hate to dirty up the clean and spotless building, it would only give another reason for the occupants to complain about his presence.
The halls of the Palais were always busy, gestionnaires running around all throughout the day and long into the night. It never rested, which was one thing the under and over world had in common, people realised that time stopped for no one, so everything was done around the clock.
He felt eyes follow him as he approached the front desk, all quickly vanishing as he turned around to observe the room.
Archons… he hates this blasted place.
“Duke Wriothesley,” a voice chirped from behind the desk a a melusine popped into view.
“Ah, Sedene, meeting with Monsieur Neuvillette at two-thirty,” he spoke clearly, handing her a slip of paper that contained his meeting invitation, “Sigewinne inquires on how you have been,” he added, observing as the melusine looked over the letter.
“Same old, same old, the Palais doesn’t rest for anyone, though I am taking my time off according to her instructions, and it has helped me greatly,” she replied, with a gentle smile on her face “Step through, Monsieur Neuvillette is expecting you.”
“That’s great to hear, thank you Sedene,” he replied with a small nod, “You have good afternoon, I’ll be sure to bring Sigewinne on my next visit, she’ll love to see you again.”
“Your most welcome, and you take care as well Your Grace,” she smiled, her accent soothing through her words, “give my regards to Sigewinne for me.”
“Of course,” he gave her gentle smile, before making his way towards the doors to Neuvillette’s office, placing his umbrella in a designated stand as he passed.
Eyes once again were glaring at him, every single one making him feel increasingly uncomfortable. So, as he disappeared behind the heavy wooden door and into the grand office of Fontaine’s Iudex, he couldn’t help but feel relieved to have them removed.
Fuck… He needs another cigarette.
The office was rather large, extremely spacious. Bookshelves on every wall, containing probably tens-of-thousands of different files and documents.
There was also an abundance of couches placed around, he never properly understood why Monsieur Neuvillette needed so many, he was simply one person, and he didn’t seem like the type to have multiple guests at once.
But what did he know, maybe it was some kind of posh person thing that he didn’t quite understand.
Thanks to his earlier decision to scrape dirt and build-up off of his boots, he was able to avoid dirt and such from seeping into the carpet, which he’s sure that the Iudex and the cleaners in the Palais are grateful for.
It was either that the Iudex didn’t notice him enter the office, or he was choosing to not look up from whatever he was doing. Either circumstance didn’t faze him, he simply approached the desk, stopping a decent distance away from it.
Silence filled the air. The room was quiet, all except the deeps breath coming from the Iudex, that he found himself synchronising himself with out of pure boredom, before going back to his own breathing pattern and just peering around the office.
He had only been in here a handful of times, one of them being when he was officially given his title, it had been shifted around since then- a lot about the Palais had change since then in fact. Though it was good few years ago, so that wasn’t a massive surprise.
“Thank you for your patience, Duke Wriothesley” Neuvillette’s voice echoed throughout the office.
His voice was deep, yet really smooth. Not to mention, it was clear, though you’d expect such a voice from the prestigious Iudex of Fontaine.
He always found it misleading how such a quiet and closed in person could silence the entirety of the Opera Epiclese with a singular word. Fascinating, somewhat tantalising… but misleading, nonetheless.
“Not an issue at all, your work is extremely important” he replied with a gentle – yet rather forced – smile.
Neuvillette simply nodded with a gentle hum, before issuing him to take a seat the chair in front of his desk. To which he did, sliding his cloak off of his shoulder and resting it on the back of the chair, it was abnormally warm in here for such a cold and wet day.
-
They spoke over the normal state of affairs as needed: the state of the fortress, expenses and materials needed, along with the supply and shipments of gardemeks. Nothing out of the ordinary from their normal monthly conversation.
So why did it have to be done here? Normally Neuvillette would meet him halfway, and they’d discuss things in one of the Opera Epiclese’s offices.
At first, he thought it might have been because of the show being performed, but even then, they had met during shows before, it was never a bother for the Iudex. So why was it that he insisted on dragging him over to the city?
“Well, that finishes up my side of things, anything else you wish to discuss?” Neuvillette stated, lining up a pile paperwork by tapping it against the desk, his gaze not leaving the duke.
“Actually, if I may inquire, exactly why couldn’t we meet at the Opera House- You know I don’t fancy coming into the city, or even entering the Palais in general” He asked with a straight face, he wasn’t exactly happy that he was forced to drag himself here, so he at least wanted an explanation.
Though he had no idea what he would do with it. Whether or not it was a horrible reason, he can’t just get mad at Neuvillette. He had more respect for his superiors than that, well, in person anyway. He wasn’t opposed to mumbling insults under his breath when out of ear shot.
“My schedule was quite full this afternoon, and with measuring my preparation time needed for tomorrow’s trial, it just wasn’t quite possible for me to make the trip,” the Iudex replied, his gaze slightly softening as he shifted it to look outside the window.
“I understand your general dislike for the Palais, but maybe if you made the trip more often, it’d be easier for you to feel comfortable during your time here,” He added, trying to suggest potential options to him.
He nodded, but he wasn’t going to listen to the advice. He despises the city and will get out of here the moment he can.
“When your staff stop eyeing me like I’m going to commit a crime, then I shall feel comfortable, but since you people on the surface aren’t capable of that, I’ll stick to the Opera House for our meetings, if possible,” he replied to the statement, disclosing a lot more about his true feelings than he had initially intended to.
The look of bewilderment on the Iudex’s face came as a slight shock to him. Mainly because he couldn’t tell if he was shocked at what he had said, or if he was shocked at the fact the staff treat him in such a way. Though, he was silently hoping it was the latter.
The shocked expressions retreated from Neuvillette’s face slowly, shaping back into a relaxed one, yet it was almost like there was a hint of disappointment laced through it.
He was probably imagining things, the Iudex was never an easy person to read.
“Understandable, I shall try to keep them within the Opera Epiclese, though I cannot predict my schedule past three months from now” Neuvillette stated bluntly, nodding his head.
“Was there anything else you wished to discuss today?” he added on the end, standing up from his chair, turning around and going to pour himself a goblet of water.
It was at that point that he realised that the Iudex wasn’t in his normal attire. How on Teyvat he had missed that, he didn’t know. The blue bulky robes were draped over the back of the man’s chair, not on Neuvillette like he remembered.
His mind slightly short circuited for a few moments, he was absolutely sure that Neuvillette looked like he always did when he entered, blue bulky robes, hair draped down his back, with a gentle bow down the bottom to hold it all together. But that wasn’t what he was staring at right now.
“Duke Wriothesley,” Neuvillette looked over at him sternly, his voice was low, annoyance lacing his words.
“Hm? Sorry- uh, no, I don’t have anything else to discuss,” he replied to the earlier questions, still trying to run his mind through the meeting to when the Iudex’s appearance changed- or perhaps he was just blind, and he had been like that the entire time.
“What the fuck…” he mumbled to himself, resting his thumb under his chin and his index finger curled in front of his mouth, his gaze was shifting between Neuvillette and the ground.
“Is something the matter duke Wriothesley?” the Iudex inquired, turning around, swirling the water in the silver goblet.
“No… just trying to- ah fuck it, were you like that when I walked in?” he asked, he had tried to keep his curiosity at bay, but he was beginning to become restless, his patience slowly dwindling – with it his capacity to hold a filter.
He really needs a smoke.
“Like… what?” the Iudex asked, looking down at himself, before looking up with a look of realisation, “Oh, you mean my robes?”
He just nodded, slight embarrassment washed over him, this probably wasn’t a very professional conversation to be having with his superior.
“No, it gets warm in here every now and then, and they’re like massive blankets to sit around in, I discarded them to the back of my chair during our meeting” the standing man explained, before taking the goblet to his lips, taking a tiny sip, and do only what the duke can assume is savouring the taste.
“I apologise if that my actions have made you uncomfortable-”
“Oh, no. no no, not at all, I just was simply surprised- I have never seen you… out of normal attire is all” he explained, reassuring the Iudex that he was not offended by the action.
It was quite the opposite if he had to be honest.
He had always found the Iudex to be an interesting character, an in-closed personality, yet still somehow so grand and quick to take charge of dire situations. He would be lying if he said that he didn’t find himself attracted to Neuvillette, he had for years on end, but as he moved up in the world and grew older and wiser, it became more of a distant hope, wishful thinking if he may.
He convinced himself it was more of an idolisation after a few years of being administrator, as it became quickly clear to him that society wasn’t keen on a romantic sense that wasn’t and male and female couple. The concept of same sex couples was rarely discussed, and when they were, it was looked down on.
But this situation had broken the façade he had created for himself, his safe wall that surrounded his romantic curiosity, and it annoyed him to every extent.
Seeing him in this different attire, was like seeing him in a completely different light, a peak into his less professional life. It was nice, though it didn’t do his predicament any good.
As for the attire in question?
It was a simple, long sleeved, white button up that found itself tucked tightly within his pants – which were something that was never quite visible, which was now understandable, seeing how most of his legs were covered by his spats, which hugged his legs tightly. The shirt sleeves had been rolled up to his forearms, cuffed perfectly. His signature black gloves still fitted perfectly along his slim fingers, which were delicately wrapped around the bottom of the goblet, the stand slotting between two of them as he swirled it ever so gently.
The thing that surprised him the most was the way he had done his hair. He had it tied back in a rather high ponytail, those long, pearly white locks tied so elegantly together with the use of the ribbon that usually sat at the bottom of his hair. He wasn’t sure how it worked, but it was like it lifted Neuvillette’s face, it was quite enticing, and overall… unexpected- he’d go as far to say it was even out of character for the Chief Justice.
“I must admit, I don’t usually find myself retiring this,” Neuvillette admitted, placing his other spare gloved hand over the blue robe hanging of the back of the plush chair, “until I finish up with appointments for the day.”
“However,” the standing man continued, taking the goblet in both hands as he lent back onto the cupboards behind him, “if I have come off as to forward by doing so- don’t spare the pleasantries-”
“I told you, it’s quite alright, just different” he replied, drafting a small smile upon his lips.
“Besides, it’s about time I headed out anyway, wouldn’t want to take up to much more of your time” He stated, before standing up himself, slightly stretching as he did so.
“Of course,” the Iudex nodded, placing the goblet gently down on the cupboard, as he slowly approached his desk again, holding out his hand, “Thank you for meeting with me- and I apologise for dragging you into the city, safe travels back to the Fortress,” he added on the end with a straight face, with what seemed to be an attempted smile, but he was quite sure.
He shook Neuvillette’s gloved hand with his own firmly, “Of course, don’t stress about the location to much, as long as it doesn’t become the norm, you’ll have no heavy complaints from me” he said with a sturdy nod, before retreating his hand to his pocket.
With that, he slowly made his way to the office door, preparing himself for the eyes that will suddenly find themselves glaring in his direction.
As if on cue, he felt them on him as he exited from behind the safety of the wooden doors. Hands cupped over mouths as they murmured to each other, eyes heavily watching and observing his every move.
He felt like he was in a display case. It was dehumanising to say the very least, as if he was there purely for them to gawk at and whisper about.
He made no effort to stay, once he had pick up his umbrella from the holder by the front desk, he made haste towards the door, trying his best to ignore the whispers and the glares – that somehow spoke louder than any words – that followed him as he did.
The frigid air hit his body as he exited the building. The rain was still heavy and didn’t seem to be letting up any time soon. Though it did seem colder than he had initially expected, perhaps it was the lateness of the day, so the temperatures had dropped.
Though it wasn’t really important to him, what was, was that he had a way to finally relax himself.
So, with that out of the way, he fished around in his pockets, pulling out a cigarette and his lighter.
He placed the cylinder-shaped object between his now dry lips, before forcefully spinning the spark wheel. It took a few attempts before the bright red flame appeared in front of his eyes, irradiating heat as it did so. He brought it up to the cigarette, holding it there long enough for it to light, not waiting to extinguish the flame before he inhaled the smoke.
He put out the lighter, slipping it back into his pocket before leaning against one of the walls, just out of sight to anyone who would be rushing out of the Palais. Taking the cigarette out of his mouth as he did so, exhaling the smoke into the air, watching as it slowly dispersed into the air around him.
He watched as the end of the cylinder lit up with red embers as he took another puff, re-observing as the next cloud of smoke disappeared into the air, lingering a gentle aroma around him.
He had just finished lighting a second cigarette as the doors to the building opened. Thinking it was just one of the gestionnaires, he didn’t pay much mind to it – what were they going to do, look at him in an even worse light? Hah, yeah right, like that’s possible.
Closing his eyes gently as he exhaled another lot of smoke, his nerves began to settle themselves. His body felt relaxed, and he overall started to feel much better.
He could make it back to the fortress after this one – and it would make sure he arrived just before the aquabus arrived at the stop.
A small, yet heavy sigh came from roughly in front of him.
“You do realise that smoking could have a permanent impact on your health Duke Wriothesley?” the owner of the sigh spoke, the voice was deep as it ran through his head.
Normally, he would have panicked, swatted the smoke away, stomped on the remains and apologised. But he was too pent up to really care. He simply opened his eyes gently, his gaze drifting up and down the man in front of him.
There stood Neuvillette, still in his ‘after hours’ attire. Though with an item of clothing in his hand.
A rather contrasting item to what the Iudex would usually wear, it confused him for a moment before he felt behind him. Ah- fuck. It was his item of clothing.
“My apologies Monsieur Neuvillette,” he gently bowed his head, retrieving the portable ashtray from his pockets, distinguishing the cigarette, before placing the container back in his pocket, “I must have forgotten to grab my coat on my way out,” he sighed in slight defeat, and in near disbelief about how he had nearly left it behind. Let alone his visions.
“So why is it that you do it?” Neuvillette questioned, walking past him, issuing for him to follow, to which he did – begrudgingly, but he did.
“Stress? Past addiction? I’m curious,” the prestigious man continued to inquire, his walking pace was slow and gentle, as he made sure to avoid the firing line of the rain.
“Does it really matter?” he replied with a gentle scoff, opening his umbrella – which easily covered them, as it was designed for two people – as they made their way behind the Palais, out of the way of prying eyes in such weather – mainly because there were no undercover areas out here for people to congregate.
“Well, personally, if someone I work with is slowly dwindling their life expectancy for the sake of a few puffs of smoke… I suppose I find myself curious as to why that would be,” the Iudex admitted, slowing his pace as they reached the far back of the Palais, before coming to an ultimate stop by the railing, shifting his body to look over it.
He sighed deeply, and here he was think that someone genuinely care for him. A gentle chuckle left his throat as he thought that… when would he learn?
“I suppose… it started off as a stress thing in my younger years, and it simply dwindled into a habit,” he admitted, it was the only way he was probably going to get his coat – and more importantly his vision – back.
“It helps calm my nerves, has for years” he added on the end, looking over the railing, watching the Iudex from the corner of his eye, who was facing the open world in front of them, though with his head tilted to face the duke.
“And… it’s worth the consequences?” Neuvillette asked, it was soft and unlike the normal stern voice he was used to.
“If I wanted a guilt trip, I would have gone to Sigewinne,” he sighed, annoyance lacing his words and expression, “I know that it’s bad for me, I honestly don’t really care” he admitted, leaning against the soaked stone railing, going unbothered by the dampness appearing on his shirt as he did.
“I don’t mean to guilt you,” the Iudex sighed gently, peering over at him, to which he returned it by tilting his head towards the Iudex, “I simply wish to understand why you would want to punish and shorten your treasurable life.”
“Treasurable? That’s a generous way of putting it” he scoffed slightly, ending with a gentle sarcastic chuckle as he shook his head.
“While you may not see as such,” Neuvillette spoke, his stern tone returning to his speech, this time turning his entire body to face him, “Doesn’t necessarily mean that there aren’t people out there who don’t.”
“Oh yeah? Name one person who genuinely cares, and I mean genuinely cares about me – not because it’s their job or responsibility, but because they actually want to care about my existence – and I’ll be impressed” he retorted, a self-deprecating smile plastered his face while letting out a matching laugh.
Silence filled the air. The only thing to be heard was the patter of rain of the footpath, and the echo of droplets bouncing off of the umbrella that shielded the two from the rainfall.
“I would say… that I care” the Iudex spoke once again, though his voice was barely audible.
He couldn’t help but laugh, not at the Iudex for thinking that he cares, but at the pure absurdity of the thought that he actually does.
“Do you now? and when did this come about?” he inquired, through broken laughter.
He wasn’t sure if it was the self-deprecation that he had shown for himself, or if he had actually upset Neuvillette by dismissing his ‘admission’ of caring. But the look that was on the Iudex’s face did succeed in making him feel guilty for laughing.
“I’m not quite sure myself,” Neuvillette spoke, his voice was soft, but hesitance was portrayed in his words and body language. As he watched the Iudex trace a finger around one of the gold embellishments on his black leather gloves, he knew that this was now a personal conversation, not a professional one.
Which in a way, was a like a splash of cold water on his face. To have have the Chief Justice, one of the main powers in the entirety of Fontaine, have a personal conversation with him… just seemed absurd. He didn’t hate it, quite on the contrary, he internally relished the thought, he just hated the fact that he did like it so much.
“Though,” the clearly now nervous man spoke, closing his eyes and exhaling deeply before re-opening them, resting them on the duke ever so gently, “as of recent, I have found myself inquiring about your wellbeing in my letters to Sigewinne.”
“I do not have strong grasp on the inner and outer workings of human emotions, and most are foreign to me when I notice their appearance in my mind,” he continued, turning away to rest against the stone railing, his face facing the mountains in the distance, “however, I cannot simply brush off my… overwhelming concern, along with many other things, as a professional stance on you.”
“If I were to be honest, I was not earlier,” he sighed, closing his eyes once again.
This piqued the duke’s own interests. In what universe would Neuvillette have a reason, or motive to lie to him?
“I asked you here, to the Palais Mermonia, so that I could have a more, private one on one with you,” the white-haired man admitted, twirling the ends of it between two fingers, “though I was overcome by… something, and my intention was dropped as quickly as I picked it up a few days ago,”
“Then when I had noticed you left your coat in my office, I suppose it was life giving me that second chance to speak with you,” he spoke, opening his eyes as he did.
“Then I come to learn that you are led to believe that no one cares for you,” he continued, tilting his head to face the duke, “Which, I can’t help but feel irritated at, as I know that there are people who do.”
“But… it gave a word to match my notable actions, and feelings that I have delt with concerning you” the older man straightened his stance, before turning to face the duke properly.
Slight irritation ran through the duke’s thoughts, he was dragged to the city out of the Iudex’s curiosity of human emotion – to which he nearly let him leave without exploring, meaning the entire point of him being in the city would be gone.
But it was overpowered by waves of other emotions that came crashing together like a wild storm at sea. Neuvillette, inquires about him?
Concerns himself about his wellbeing?
and maybe… just maybe, he actually does care, and along with ‘other’ things? What does that even mean?
He turned to face the Iudex. His face was stern, eyes narrowed, lips slightly pursed. Though, if you stare at it long enough, you see the differences, you see that his narrowed eyes are softer, that his lips are gently placed like that, and that his overall expression is soft and natural, not a professional mask.
“So, what are you saying? That you care about me in a personal sense? That you see me as a… I don’t know, a friend?” he questioned, curiosity needing to be satisfied, “because, it is possible to care about someone in a professional level, which is a thing, it doesn’t have to be a personal level of concern to count” he added on the end, internally cursing himself, yet thanking himself at the same time.
It’s questioning the Iudex, making sure he knows his options, and that he knows what exactly he’s saying. He had to be sure, just so he knows how fucked he’s going to be trying to clear his mind of any feeling he once had for him.
“I’m aware of the difference between a professional and person relationship,” Neuvillette nodded, “Rest assured, I have thought a lot about this, I know the rough basis of what I’m talking about.”
“Then, if I may I ask, what are your thoughts Monsieur Neuvillette?” he asked, fear and hope wrestling with each other endlessly, “because with all of this talk, and analysation, I’m going to assume you have some idea of what you wish to achieve out of this conversation,” he added on the end, clarifying his question.
He had turned to face the Iudex now. They faced one another as silence filled the air once again. He wasn’t sure what he wanted him to say. He wanted to wake up and have this all be a bad dream, but he also wanted to have a close relationship with the Iudex, he would treasure a friendship – minus the mental fuck over it would do to him in the beginning.
In an ideal world, where everything was right, this would be a beautiful, romantic admission of love and he would be held and- Fuck sake.
This is why he hates optimism. Optimism sucks, especially when realism crushes and burns it down to the very last drop of hope.
He shook his head, still observing Neuvillette as he ponders over whatever is going through his head.
“Forgive me, I have never done this before, I don’t do… personal relationships with humans” the Iudex sighed, “I don’t even know how to express things, let alone explain them.”
“My best advice? Is to just rip it off like a band-aid, or in simpler terms, say what’s on your mind quickly and straight to the point – or if talking doesn’t work, act on it,” he suggested, a part of him just wanting this to be over with, the suspense and shouting voices in his head trying to reason why their outcome is better, is slowly dwindling his patience.
“Rip it off like a band-aid? You humans and your metaphors…” the older man stated, shaking his head ever so slightly, “But I suppose that could work...” he added, trailing off into mumbled speech and his gaze drifting off into the distance.
“Most find that it does,” he replied, closing his eyes gently, sighing lightly, “now I don’t mean to rush you process, but I do have to-”
He was cut off by a rather sudden presence of something on his lips. His eyes shot wide open, mind froze, it was blank and empty. Before he could properly register what exactly just occurred, the presence departed.
He wasn’t sure what he looked like, but he could imagine considering the look or concern and guilt that formed on Neuvillette’s face.
“My deepest apologies, perhaps that was… too forward” the slightly shorter man stepped back slightly, bowing his head in apology and what was most likely defeat.
“Did- you just… kiss me?” he asked, still confused, and piecing together the events that had occurred mere seconds ago.
“I did” the response was short and quick, yet panic laced through it, dragging it out over a few seconds.
He couldn’t find the words to say anything. To express the emotions that took the form of a tsunami and crushed his entire person under its weight.
He felt a gentle, genuine, smile tug at his lips. It wasn’t much, but it was faint enough that he knew the Iudex could see it, as his tensed posture slightly relaxed.
But after the moment of euphoria lasted a tad bit to long, anxiety came crashing down, pinning it to the ground as it flooded his mind with so many questions, outcomes, and possibilities. It overwhelmed him to the where he thought he might be sick.
“But… why?” he asked, fearing the worst answer possible. Fearing that it was a misunderstanding of emotion. That he would have to live with the knowledge that the one time that he had someone he liked, reciprocate the feeling, and it was entirely a misunderstanding.
“Because… I suppose you could say that I… ‘like’ you, as you humans put it” Neuvillette nodded, his normally pale face becoming a flush pink.
“Why- how… how do you know that you do?” he inquired, trying to give his optimism a fighting chance against the anxiety of realism.
“Well- I find myself trailing back to you when my mind is blank, I enjoy your company and presence, and find myself missing it between our month apart,” the white-haired man explained, running a hand through it, twirling it at the end between his fingers, “you once told me that you wanted to one day find someone and have a life with them, though you hadn’t found the right person,”
“I am probably far from your ideal person; however, I couldn’t keep this to myself,” he added on the end, closing his eyes with a gentle sigh.
“But… I’m a guy…” he stated, “that doesn’t… bother you?” he continued to inquire. Surely the Iudex of Fontaine wouldn’t dare to go against the public opinion.
“You speak of the public opinion? Yes, it was brought to our attention recently” Neuvillette answered, “but to answer your question, no, I am not bothered by your sex, nor your gender” he added on the end, shaking his head, before matching with the duke’s gentle gaze.
“I feel as if I must apologise again for before- I overstepped” the shorter man spoke again, bowing his head as he did earlier as he apologised.
He didn’t respond. He did take a step forward however, placing a gentle hand underneath Neuvillette’s chin a gently pulling it up.
No words were exchanged, just gentle smiles for a moment before he inevitable closed the gap between them.
He felt Neuvillette slightly gasp as their lips connected for a second time, then felt as he slowly relaxed, and returned the kiss.
It was like the world had stopped around them, as one of his hands found their way onto the back of Neuvillette’s neck – the other holding the umbrella – he felt a hand lay gently on his face, the other on his chest.
It was as if he was blessed by the heaven for a second time, feeling those cold lips mix with his warm ones, dancing in a rhythm that neither really knew, but did so perfectly. With a slight nibble at Neuvillette’s lips, he gained access to his mouth, deepening the kiss, exploring every crevasse of the other man’s mouth with his tongue.
It was like a burst of emotions, it was freezing around them, but he felt warm and relaxed on the inside, much better than any cigarette could ever make him feel. He was floating through the heavens, laying on a warm beach, like he was in paradise. He didn’t care what random metaphor was being used, what he did care about was the fact that he had the man he had loved for years… in his hands, kissing him, holding him.
They parted after a few moment, a string of their mixed saliva connecting their lips that were glistening with a coat of it.
A gentle smile appeared along Neuvillette’s face, those gorgeous lavender eyes staring at him made him feel like he was the only person in world.
It was only at that point that he had realised that the rain had stopped. He shifted his head over to look over at the mountains, the clouds parting ever so slowly, the evening sun peering through them ever so gently.
He closed up the umbrella and took a step towards the railing as he looked out over at the scenery in front of him. It felt as if it had been years since he had properly seen the sun.
He felt his hand being taken. Slim, gloved fingers intertwining with his gloved ones. They exchanged glances and a soft smiles before looking back out at the mountain range and sun set. Neuvillette resting his head against his shoulder with a gently sigh.
Maybe after all, the weather really was the divines communicating with the people, and they just told him, that his life was about to get a whole lot better