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In the early hours at the hospital, while Snafu had finally fallen into a fitful sleep back at the Sledge home, Eugene was currently awake. He’d been woken up several times throughout the night by nurses coming in to check his vitals, shine a light in his eyes, ask him how he was feeling, or put something or other in his IV bag. Every time they came in they’d smile sympathetically, apologize for disrupting him, and get on with their work quickly and efficiently. Eugene understood that they were just doing their jobs, and that the whole reason he was even still here was so that they could monitor him, but he couldn’t help but hate them a little bit every time they came in the room. He really just wanted to be left alone right now.
Since waking up in the hospital in the afternoon he’d been in a fog. Now, laying in his hospital bed with the only light being filtered through the blinds on the windows, drawing stark bars of light across the wall, he felt sick to his stomach. He supposed he could blame a lot of that on the concussion, but he knew that wasn’t everything. The pain in his head had turned into a dull throbbing and the ache in his ribs was a slow fire that flared with every breath he took but the worst of it was the way his thoughts bounced around his mind and his heart felt stuck in his throat. He’d always known, in an abstract sort of way, how many people felt about people like him. He knew about their hate, but he’d never really experienced it in any first hand sort of way. He’d heard about the ‘work’ camps the Allied forces had found in Europe. Had heard rumours that it wasn’t only Jews the Germans had sent to die but it had seemed some far removed concept. The Nazis had killed millions of people, men, women and children. That wasn’t a concept one could easily wrap their heads around, not in a truly personal way anyway. But hate? He understood hate. As the days on Okinawa ground into each other and the passage of time became a concept void of meaning, he’d learned about hatred. Staring into the eyes of a hated enemy, watching them dim and go lifeless, he’d nursed that hate, that rage. Thought it was necessary to do what needed to be done. Except, he’d also tasted how empty that hatred made him. He’d been consumed by this useless fury, lashing out at Snafu or Burgie, snapping at Hamm or Peck, until there was nothing in him but weariness and rage.
(Fists clutched in a soggy, ragged jacket. The slow flow of blood dripping off a young man’s face. Marines hauling a dead man off a bunker like a sack of rice. A crying baby. “Lots of people fire mortars up here.” A desperate hand gripping the barrel of his gun. Fingers caked with dry blood, the stench of death. A marine holding a smiling Okinawan girl on his hip in the sunshine.)
Eugene knew how pointless all that rage was, and the subject of his hatred was genuinely trying to kill him. What had he ever done that was so evil it deserved this kind of hatred? God may frown on sodomites but did he smile on the senseless slaughter of thousands, millions; American, German, and Japanese alike? Was he smiling when his brothers in arms were cut down in kamikaze attacks? When marines cut the teeth from the heads of dead men? When wounded Japanese soldiers pulled the pin on a live grenade as corpsman rushed to help them? Eugene didn’t know and he wasn’t sure he cared anymore, but he knew those boys didn’t know the first fucking thing about what God wanted. He also knew there was no point in being angry with them, but that didn’t help. He didn’t want to become that person again but he didn’t know how to stop the wounded rage burning in his belly. He shifted in the bed and looked at his hands. These hands had committed tremendous violence, but they’d also been kind and loving. They had pulled a trigger without hesitation, hit a POW - technically violated the Geneva Convention - gripped a KA-BAR with the intent to defile a human corpse. They had also soothed a dying woman. Run gently through the hair of the man he loved. Smoothed the furrowed brow of a face in the midst of a nightmare. Comforted a friend in the middle of the night when it all became too much. He supposed he could live with that paradox, and maybe, if he could find a balance with that, maybe he could find peace with this too. But could Shelton? That was the question that plagued Eugene the most. Could Snafu live with this? Snafu had always wanted to hide from this, from the world. Would this stark reminder be too much for Shelton? He wasn’t sure, and he wasn’t sure if he could go on without him. Not anymore.
Now that morning was on it’s way, the nurses seemed to be interrupting his peace with less frequency, and Eugene was able to slip into a fitful sleep. He was awoken a few hours later by a knock at the door. The doctor who knew his father - Eugene had discovered his name was Stephen Wahl - poked his head around the entrance and smiled at Eugene. “You have some visitors.” He said cheerily, stepping aside and opening the door wider.
His parents and Snafu were crowded around Dr. Wahl and he waited at the door as the three of them entered the room. Snafu went directly to the window and leaned against the ledge, crossing his arms. His parents took their place at the foot of the bed again. Dr. Wahl stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.
Clearing his throat, he turned to Eugene. “So, you’re probably feeling pretty eager to get out of here?” He said, smiling.
Eugene smiled wanly and nodded. “Yea, I can’t say that I’d mind.”
Dr. Wahl nodded. “Of course. Although I’m sure you didn’t mind all the attention from the pretty nurses coming in here to take care of you.” He smiled and winked at Eugene.
Eugene just frowned. “Yea, not really my thing.” He muttered, his voice a monotone.
Both his parents and Shelton turned to give him a disapproving look, Eugene just stared back, his face a picture of sarcastic innocence.
Shelton dipped his head down and pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath in. “So Doc, are you saying he can leave?” He asked, raising his eyes to look at the doctor.
Dr. Wahl was currently flicking his gaze between the four other people in the room in confusion. He really did not know what was going on here. “Uhm, yea of course.” He turned back to Eugene. “Like I said yesterday,” he said more easily, back in familiar territory. “There’s not a lot we can do about the fractured or bruised ribs. Try not to keep the wrappings on too long. I know it feels better, but the ribs need to be able to expand to heal. As for the stitches, well, your father is more than capable of removing those when the time comes. I’ve also written you a prescription for some pain medication that I’ll leave with your father.” He clapped his hands together awkwardly and nodded. “Alright well, I just want to check your vitals once more and then I’ll let you get on your way.”
Eugene sighed but allowed the doctor to listen to his chest, taking a deep breath in when asked, exhaling when instructed. He was pretty tired of having people shine pen lights in his eyes but he followed the doctor’s finger as instructed. When Dr. Wahl had finished he smiled reassuringly at Eugene and removed the IV from his hand. Finally he gave another confused look around the room, shook Edward Sr.’s hand and then left.
Edward Sr. stood staring at the door with his hands in his pockets, Mary Frank was clutching her hands to her chest to keep them still, and Shelton was still leaning with his hip cocked against the windowsill, his arms crossed, and a frustrated look on his face. Eugene sat in the bed, his back propped against the raised portion of the bed, refusing to look at anyone.
“What t’hell was that Sledge?” Shelton demanded.
Eugene blinked at him, his face and eyes void of emotion. “What? It’s not like it matters anymore Snafu.”
Snafu narrowed his eyes at him but didn’t say anything. He just sighed and pushed off the windowsill, scooping up the small bag he’d dropped at his feet. “Here, clean clothes.” He said, placing the bag on the foot of the bed.
Eugene smiled gratefully and pushed the covers off him. He was looking forward to getting out of here. He went to throw his legs over the side of the bed but drew in a sharp breath at the pain radiating out from his ribs. His jaw clicked together audibly and he was just about to clutch his arm around his middle when Snafu’s hand closed around his wrist.
“I wouldn’ do that Gene. Gon hurt more.” He braced his other hand on Eugene’s shoulder. “I’ll help, but this is gonna hurt like a bitch.”
Shelton wasn’t lying. Eugene ground his teeth against the excruciating pain in his sides as he turned his body to get out of the bed. Once he was in a sitting position he clutched at Snafu’s arm, silently asking for a minute. He needed to catch his breath, especially since he could only breath in hard, shallow pants. He felt like he was drowning. He wasn’t sure how he was going to get dressed.
Snafu moved to stand in front of Eugene and forced a smile. He plucked at the front of the hospital gown Eugene was wearing. “Looking good Sledge, you should think ‘bout wearin’ it all the time.”
Eugene laughed softly and then winced, giving a strange look to Shelton. It was a mix of pain, fondness, humour and irritation. It made Shelton’s smile feel somewhat more genuine. Eugene rested his hand on Shelton’s hip, pulling him closer so he could rest his head against Shelton’s chest. Now that the panic of yesterday had subsided, Snafu was keenly aware of Dr. and Mrs. Sledge’s presence in the room and felt awkward being so openly affectionate with Eugene but didn’t know what to do. Eugene’s hands were on his hips, his forehead resting in the centre of his chest, so he settled on resting one hand on his shoulder and squeezing it reassuringly while his other hand cupped the back of Eugene’s head.
Eugene took a steadying breath and then leaned back. “Alright, I’m ready.” He ducked his head to try to hide the blush that was blooming on his cheeks. “I’m going to uhm,” he cleared his throat and shrugged. “Gonna need your help getting dressed.” He finished lamely.
Snafu grinned again. “Ya don’t say?” He asked, his tone light and gently mocking. He caught Eugene's eye, reassuring him without words that it was fine, nothing to be embarrassed about. As he started pulling clothes out of the bag, kneeling to help Eugene step into his underwear, he thought he'd probably feel the same way. He stood up, pulling Eugene's briefs with him, urging Eugene to rest his hands on his shoulders to steady himself as he stood. Snafu had to bite back the lewd remark he wanted to make as he pulled the waistband of Eugene's briefs around the curve of his ass. Eugene caught the look on his face and scowled at him.
Snafu smirked and shrugged. "What?" He asked innocently.
Eugene just shook his head and let Snafu help him back to a sitting position on the bed so they could start the process over again with his trousers. When his pants were up around his hips and Shelton went to do them up Eugene swatted at his hands. "I can manage this part myself thanks." He muttered, blushing again.
Shelton nodded and leaned over him slightly to undo the ties of the hospital gown he was wearing, helping to ease it off Eugene's shoulders.
As Eugene stood there, shirtless and shivering, Shelton and the Sledge's got a good look at the ugly bruises covering his torso. Shelton marvelled that there was the beginnings of a clear boot print poking out under the bandage on his back. Mary Frank felt hot pinpricks at the back of her eyes and the world shimmered for a moment as she drew in a shuddering gasp and brought her trembling fingers to her mouth. Even with the bandage wrapped around his ribcage there were large bruises covering most of his pale torso. She tried to shove the panic deep down, as far as she could, but it’s ugly fingers were digging into her throat, clawing it’s way to the surface.
Edward Sr. saw that his wife was on the verge of breaking down and spoke, breaking everyone out of their stupor. "Well, you can finish up here, your mother and I will go sign your discharge papers." He reached out and gently gripped Mary Frank's arm, pulling her away from the sight of her youngest son's wounded body.
Eugene watched them leave as Shelton grabbed a shirt from the bag with slightly trembling fingers. He had thought Eugene’s face was bad but his body was worse. It ignited the flare of that pure rage he’d felt earlier. The anger that made him want to find the shits who did this and make them suffer. He shook his head to clear it of the ugly thoughts and stared at the cloth in his hands, he was starting to suspect he hadn't really thought this through.
Eugene turned back to Shelton and saw him staring at the t-shirt in his hands until it dawned on him why Shelton was frowning at a piece of cloth. "Please tell me you brought some sort of button up as well."
Shelton shook his head and gave him a distressed look. "Shit Sledge, I din't even think." He bit his bottom lip and contemplated the pain he was going to put Eugene through.
Eugene for his part hung his head briefly and then nodded, taking as deep of a steadying breath as he could. "Alright, let's get it over with." He exhaled.
Snafu helped him thread his hands and arms through the sleeves and drew the shirt as far up his arms as he could, bunching around his biceps. Eugene raised his arms as much as he could stand to, resting one hand on Snafu's shoulder and the other on his ribcage and then met Snafu's eyes. "Okay." He ground out through clenched teeth.
Snafu tried to be quick, pulling the shirt up and over Eugene's head, ignoring the whimpers Eugene made as he had to pull his arms up over his head and the way his breath was coming out in short, hard pants.
When it was over, Eugene was trembling slightly but he breathed a sigh of relief. He leaned in to Shelton's side and rested his head on his shoulder, turning his face into his neck. "Let's not do that again okay?"
Shelton laughed gently and ran his fingers through Eugene's hair, rubbing small circles into the base of his skull soothingly. "I said you should jes' wear that gown 'round." He teased.
Eugene pulled back and looked at Snafu, his eyes dancing playfully, even under the sheen of pain. "You just liked the open back idea of the gown, admit it."
Snafu hummed happily. "Well, it did offa me a real nice view." He winked, pulling out of Eugene's embrace. He went and picked up the plastic bag full of Eugene's old clothes - purposely not noticing the way they were splashed with blood - and stuffed it in the bag he'd brought. He gave a cursory look around the room and then, satisfied they hadn't left anything, slung the bag over his shoulder. He walked over to Eugene and offered his arm for him to lean on. "Ready to go find yer parents?" He asked.
Eugene nodded. "I'm ready to get out of this fucking place."
It was slow going, with Eugene taking small, shuffling steps, but when his parents had found them in the hall and offered a wheelchair Eugene refused. Walking was unpleasant but he suspected that getting into and out of a wheelchair would be even worse.
****
When they finally made it back to the house Shelton helped Eugene up the stairs and into the foyer and then kept walking, leading them to the back porch. He needed a cigarette and they needed to talk about things.
Out on the back porch he helped Eugene ease into the porch swing and then stepped back. "Do you want some coffee?" He asked.
Eugene nodded gratefully and Snafu went off to get them each a mug. When he got back he handed Eugene his mug and set his own on the railing of the porch, leaning back against it. He pulled his cigarettes from his jeans pocket and popped one between his lips. As he drew the smoke in he closed his eyes, savouring the harsh bite of tobacco against his throat. "Ah figure ah'll go to the train station tomorrow, see if ah can have our return tickets changed to this Saturday." He finally said, turning his face to Eugene.
Eugene drew his brows together and frowned. "What do you mean?" He asked, perplexed.
Snafu took another drag off his cigarette. "What do I mean? What do you mean? Obviously we're not staying here anymo'. I know you can't jus' leave today, you'll need at leas' a few days before you can manage that trip but, Gene, yer not actually thinkin' 'bout stayin' are ya?"
Eugene's frown deepend. "Why would we leave early?"
Snafu felt his jaw drop. "Yer fucking kidding. Ya have to be fucking kidding me right now Sledge." Eugene didn't answer, just stared at Snafu. "Gene. Look at you!" He waved at Eugene. "You want to give 'em anotha' shot?" He ground his teeth together and looked away, swallowing the lump in his throat. "Nex' time, they ain't gonna settle with jus' beatin' you up." He muttered.
Eugene's head was buzzing angrily, he could feel that static buzzing under his skin, fueling the anger he’d been trying to tamp down. "I grew up here Shelton. This is my hometown. I'm not letting some fucking kids make me run away with my tail between my legs." He said resolutely forcing Shelton to turn and meet his steely gaze.
Snafu couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Eugene couldn’t possibly be this stubborn or suicidal or both. "Get the fuck ova' it Sledge, fuck this town and fuck these people. It ain't worth it!"
"And what about my family?" Eugene yelled. "My parents! Sid and Mary, Edward, what about them?" He was breathing hard and it hurt but he couldn’t help it.
Snafu crossed his arms and returned Eugene's glare. "I don't see nothin' stopping 'em from coming to Florida. Do you?" His voice was quiet but harsh. Snafu had never needed to yell to be intimidating.
Eugene shook his head. "That's not the point. The point is, they don't get to decide where I'm welcome." Eugene didn’t understand how Snafu didn’t understand this.
Snafu leaned forward, starting to lose his cold, composed exterior. "They always fucking will Gene! Always! Once they know, once they jus' fucking sense it, they ain't gonna want no fucking queers hangin' around their god fearing town. They just won't." He said harshly.
"I don't care." Eugene ground out. "I did not survive the fucking Pacific to get chased outta my hometown by some teenagers."
"Guess what Gene, these people gon' hate you just as much as the fucking Nips." He yelled, fighting the urge to walk over there and shake some sense into Eugene.
For several moments they stood staring each other down when the back door banged open. Neither of them looked away from the other to see who had joined them. Eugene sat where he was, meeting Snafu's glare.
Sidney Phillips was standing on the porch, looking anxiously between the two men currently engaged in a staring contest. One of the phone calls Mary Frank had made the night before was to the Phillips'. She hadn't shared any details, just that Eugene was in the hospital. When he'd heard, Sid had wanted to rush to the Sledge household, be there for the family, but Mary Frank had advised against it. She'd told him that they would most likely be retrieving Eugene from the hospital the next morning, and that Sidney should just wait until then to come over. He hadn't liked sitting at home, not knowing what was going on, but he'd agreed. As soon as he'd arrived, the Sledge's had informed him that Eugene and Snafu were on the porch. From the tense atmosphere he was beginning to understand the strained look they'd exchanged as they told him this. "Did I interrupt something?" He asked.
Snafu sighed and turned around, bracing his hands on the railing and trying to shove his anger back, deep down inside himself.
"No." Eugene said, offering no other explanation.
It was when Eugene spoke that Sid fully turned to look at him. "Holy shit Eugene." He muttered, taking in Eugene's battered face. "What the fuck happened?"
Snafu whipped around. "Yea Gene, what happened? Huh? Enlighten dear Phillips here." He bit the words out, chewing them up and spitting them at Eugene.
Eugene scowled at Snafu. "Mer, shut up and sit down will you? You're making me fucking antsy." His scowl softened and he looked at Shelton pleadingly. "Please."
Snafu sighed and trudged over to the porch swing, settling down gently so as not to disturb Eugene. He was pissed and he could barely think with all his conflicting thoughts roiling around, but he still never wanted to hurt Eugene.
Eugene opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Mary Houston Phillips coming through the screen door to join her husband. When she looked at Eugene she gasped and brought her hand to her lips, her eyes visibly filling with tears. "Oh my god." She whispered. "Eugene..."
Sid wrapped his arm around his pregnant wife’s shoulders and pulled her close to him. "Seriously, what happened?" He asked, concern written all over his face.
Eugene rolled his shoulders in a half shrug, keenly aware of Snafu's bouncing leg next to him. Obviously Shelton felt that Sid would be on his side and argue in favour of them going home. "I got jumped by some teenagers." He said lamely. Next to him Snafu scoffed and looked away, clenching his jaw. Eugene could hear the muscles and tendons in his neck snap and pop as he bore down on his teeth. Sid looked between them and raised his eyebrows, silently asking the obvious question. Eugene sighed and stared at his fingers, refusing to meet Sid or Mary's eyes. "Look, it's not a big deal."
"It looks like it was a pretty big deal." Sid said quietly.
"It was just some kids Sid. They knew who I was and they didn't think I should be welcome in Mobile. They wanted me to know how they felt about me and they made their point with their fists, okay? But like I said, it was just some stupid kids."
Snafu was staring at him out of the corner of his eyes. "Just some kids?" He hissed, stunned. "Just some kids? Sure thing Sledge. Just some kids. Kids with fathers, brothers, uncles, friends. Kids who ain't gonna see you around town and jus' keep their mouths shut. Thinking 'oh well, we sure beat the stuffing outta that queer fella! Guess we'll jus' leave it there! Nothing more we can do!'" He laughed bitterly. Sometimes he forgot that Eugene had lived such a simple, sheltered life compared to his. Snafu had seen it all before. He knew what happened to the boys who liked boys when everyone found out, and it wasn't pretty.
Sid didn't know what to say. He wasn't surprised, exactly, he'd heard the murmurs around town, that Eugene had run off to Florida with some Cajun boy. He'd never been one for gossip, found it tiresome and tedious at best, downright malicious and repugnant at worst. Despite this, and the fact that everyone who knew him knew he was friends with Eugene and therefore tried not to discuss it around him, he still somehow heard the rumours. They ranged from fairly innocuous speculation to the downright absurd. Some people seemed convinced that Snafu was a voodoo practitioner who'd put some kind of curse on Eugene. Others just thought that the war broke poor Eugene and that was the reason for this turn of depravity. Sid had yet to hear the theory that Eugene had simply fallen in love and found someone to spend his life with. From the look of Eugene's face, he doubted it was a theory anyone would give voice to. "So, what are you going to do?" He finally asked.
Eugene frowned. "Do? There's nothing to do."
Next to him, Snafu stood up suddenly, wincing at the sudden, sharp inhale of pain Eugene made as the porch swing rocked him unexpectedly, and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Fucking 'ell Gene yes there is, it's leaving. We can leave an' go home!"
Eugene looked at him pleadingly. "Snaf, please, I can't. Try to understand." Shelton stared at him balefully for a moment before he stormed off. "Mer! Merriell, don't fucking storm off!" Eugene leaned forward, forgetting his damaged ribs for a moment, intending to follow Shelton but his body quickly reminded him that he couldn't. He hissed in through his teeth and clutched at his sides. Mary came forward and helped ease him back into the swing, settling next to him.
Sid looked down at him sadly. "So I take it I did interrupt something."
Eugene shrugged sheepishly. "Yea, we were having an argument when you walked out." He looked longingly at the storm door, hoping Shelton would come back through it and apologize. He knew it was too soon for that, and besides, maybe he was the one who had something to apologize for. "He thinks we should leave, go back to Florida as soon as we can."
Mary frowned next to him and squeezed his shoulder. "Maybe he's right." She said softly.
Sid shook his head. "Nah, if they leave now, they can never come back Mary. I get where Shelton is coming from, if it were-" he trailed off, swallowing the sudden lump in his throat. He couldn't imagine anyone hurting his wife, certainly not the way they'd hurt Eugene. He didn't know what he'd do if he were in Shelton's position. He'd probably be going out of his mind. "I don't know," he said, dropping his previous thought. "If you stay, Shelton's right, you're in danger, but if you go, they've won and you can't come back. You leaving emboldens them."
Eugene nodded. "Exactly. I figure, neither of us go out alone and we'll be fine."
At this Sid cracked a grin. "Well, if someone tries to jump Snafu I think they might walk out of that one regretting it." He chuckled.
Mary gave him a disapproving look while Eugene just looked distressed. "Sidney Phillips. No one is jumping anyone." She chastised, rubbing Eugene's back reassuringly.
"I'm just worried about Shelton, worried he's going to do something stupid or dangerous." Eugene said, looking forlornly at where Snafu had disappeared.
Sid rubbed his neck and followed Eugene's gaze. "Look, I'll go find Shelton, talk him down, okay?" Eugene smiled gratefully at him and Sid left, leaving his best friend in the capable hands of his wife.
****
After Sid had searched the house and found no sign of Shelton he left out the front door, making his way down to the fields surrounding the Sledge estate. After a few minutes of walking he spotted a lone figure, silhouetted against the horizon. He quickened his pace and made his way down to where Shelton was standing in the tall grass. As he got closer he saw Shelton had a long blade of grass in his hands and was slowly peeling it apart.
"Hey Snafu, it's me." He said before he'd made it to Shelton, giving him time to register his approach. They were both ex-marines, he knew from experience that Shelton wouldn’t take kindly to be snuck up on.
Shelton looked at him over his shoulder, scowling. "Not now Phillips, just.." he turned his eyes heavenward and sighed. "Just go back to the house an' leave me alone fer a bit."
Sid came abreast of Shelton and then lowered himself to the ground, crossing his legs, and began picking at the grass around him. "Gene's right you know." He said quietly, not looking up at Shelton.
Snafu growled and glared down at Phillips. "Now I really don' want you here. Fuck off alright?"
Sid shook his head. "No look, I get it, I do. If I were in your position, if that were Mary instead of Eugene, I'd want nothing more than to get on the first train back home and keep her safe..."
"Yea but it ain't," Snafu interrupted. "An' it ain't never gonna be Phillips. You ain't never gonna be in this position, so save yer platitudes or whatever fer someone who gives a shit."
Sid rolled his eyes and tugged on Shelton's pants leg, urging him to sit down. When Snafu had settled next to him - albeit grumpily - he considered it a win. "You're right, I'm never going to be in this position. I'm just saying that I can understand where you're coming from. Can't you do the same for Eugene?"
Snafu finally turned and looked at him, one eyebrow cocked. "Seriously? No. Not when Gene still thinks people are mostly kind hearted souls er some lovey bullshit. An’ definitely not when he's too stubborn fer his own damn good."
When Snafu pulled his cigarettes from his pants pocket and offered one to Sidney he took it, allowing Shelton to hold the lighter for him. He took a long drag off it and watched as the smoke drifted towards the sky. "Just think about it okay? And come back to the house, Eugene is worried." He finally said.
Snafu lay back beside him, pillowing his head on his arms behind him, cigarette jutting from his lips at an odd angle, one eye closed against the smoke drifting off the burning end. "Shit Phillips, whaddaya think I'm doin' out here? Running off or somethin'?" He pulled the cigarette from his lips and laughed. "Gene worries too much, especially when it comes ta me leaving in a mood. It’s kinda his thing.” He paused and rubbed his eyes, blinking against the harsh daylight. “I ain't going anywhere." He shrugged self consciously. "I jus' needed some time. Alone." He looked pointedly at Sid.
Sid chuckled and stood up, wiping his palms on his trousers. "Point taken, I'll leave you alone." He looked out at the gently rolling hills. "Think about what I said though, and come back soon." He finally said, turning and leaving Shelton to his own thoughts.
****
It was well past midday when Shelton awoke with a start in the field. He raised his hand, shielding his eyes from the sun as he sat up and checked his watch. Shit, he thought. He'd barely slept at all last night and instead spent the night just desperately wanting Eugene around, and now he was and Snafu was sleeping alone in a field. He'd been so glad to just be near Eugene again and instead of being there for him, he'd gone off to sulk on his own. You're a real fucking idiot, he chastised himself, standing up on stiff legs. He dusted his palms off on his pants leg, swiping ineffectively at the bits of grass stuck to him and made his way back to the house.
When he arrived he found Sidney and Mary had left, and found Eugene sitting stiffly in the parlour, head resting on his palm, dozing quietly. He reached out and rested his hand gently on Eugene's shoulder. Eugene startled awake and looked up at Snafu, his face awash in relief. "Merriell." He whispered. "You're back."
Snafu tamped down the guilt clutching his belly and forced a smile. "Course ah'm back, you didn't think you were rid of me did you?" Eugene smiled sheepishly and Snafu had to swallow past the fresh surge of guilt. "It'll take more'n that to get ridda me Sledgehamma'" He teased. He moved around in front of Eugene and took his hands in his own. "Come on, yer falling asleep in yer chair. Let's get ya to bed, take a nap."
Eugene looked mildly distressed but allowed Shelton to help him to his feet. He leaned heavily on Snafu as they walked to their bedroom, he had to admit he was exhausted. When they got to their room they both stood in front of the bed and stared at it.
"So, how we gonna do this?" Shelton asked. Not knowing how Eugene was going to sleep with his fractured ribs.
Eugene winced. "My father said I should sleep on my side, on the injured side." He frowned. "He also said I should take the bandages off. Which means taking my t-shirt off." He was already dreading that experience.
Snafu eyed him and then shrugged. "How fond are ya of this t-shirt?"
Eugene looked at him, confused. "Not overly, why?"
Snafu nodded and left Eugene standing there to go to the bathroom. After rooting around in the drawers for a few moments he found what he was looking for and returned to Eugene, brandishing his prize. "I figure it'll just be easier to cut it off."
Eugene laughed lightly, wincing slightly at the pain it caused. "You just always wanted to cut me out of my clothes."
Snafu grinned and snipped the scissors playfully. "Ya caught me Sledgehamma'," he paused and his voice turned serious, "but seriously, it'll just be easier." He stepped behind Eugene and made quick work of the thin material, slicing down the back of the shirt. He helped Eugene ease the sleeves off his arms and then set to work on removing the bandages.
He was surprised when Eugene covered his hand with his own. "I'm not sure I want," Eugene paused, hanging his head and closing his eyes. "I haven't seen it." He whispered. "I don't know if I want you to see it."
Snafu rubbed lightly at the gauze beneath his fingers, looking at the patchwork of bruises on Eugene's chest. "Yea, me neither." He said softly. "But, we're gonna hafta eventually and 'sides, Papa Sledge's orders." Eugene nodded and then closed his eyes as Snafu began peeling the gauze off. He didn't want to look at himself right now.
When Snafu had gotten the gauze off he tried to keep his reaction in check, so as not to frighten Eugene. He had seen much of it this morning, but it was different now that there was nothing impeding the steady march of ugly blues, purples and yellows spreading out over his chest, sides and back. He took a steadying breath and undid Eugene's pants, slipping them over his hips and then helped him settle on the bed. As he knelt down to slip Eugene's pants off his legs he saw Eugene looking down at himself, his face impassive. Shelton would have thought Eugene felt nothing about it if not for the slight tremble in his fingers as he picked at his fingernails self consciously.
When Eugene was settled into the bed Snafu climbed in behind him and lay on his side, facing Eugene's back. He desperately wanted to reach out and pull Eugene into him, hold him tight and fall asleep like that, but knew that would only cause Eugene more pain. Instead he settled for reaching out and gently tracing the bruises on Eugene's back, as if his fingers could somehow transform them from marks of violence, as if he could melt them away with his love alone. He felt Eugene shiver slightly under his fingertips and pulled the blanket up around them, shifting closer to Eugene and running his hand down his arm soothingly.
"Mer?" Eugene spoke so quietly Snafu wasn't sure he had even said anything.
"Yea Gene?" He murmured, unconsciously matching Eugene's tone.
Eugene sighed and tucked his head down. "I know you're upset with me, and I'm sorry I can't-"
Snafu shook his head. "No Gene, don't worry about it, you don't have to explain. Not right now, we'll talk 'bout it later."
"I just," Eugene swallowed past the lump in his throat. "Please don't leave okay?" He asked, his voice sounding small and vulnerable even to his own ears.
Shelton had to blink past the sudden tears in his eyes and squeezed Eugene as much as he dared. "Never. I promise." He whispered.
Eugene nodded and seemed to settle, finally able to fall asleep. As Snafu listened to his breathing even out, feeling his steady pulse under his hand on Eugene's ribcage, he resolved to put his own feelings aside and just be there for Eugene.