Chapter Text
“Shadowheart,” her name was said softly from behind her, in a voice she had come to deeply and emphatically cherish. Shadowheart turned around to face the towering, gorgeous Tiefling paladin. She could see the genuine worry and concern in those midnight black eyes. Drowning in so much despair, Shadowheart could not bring herself to mask her emotions. She looked at Diana with sorrow filled eyes , before turning away, gazing out her room window in the Last Light Inn. She heard Diana's heavy footsteps as she came closer and Shadowheart’s eyes fell closed, she couldn’t tell if it was in defeat for having this conversation and interaction or relief and yearning in wanting Diana closer. “I know that you may want to be alone, but if you need someone to talk to or just sit here with you in silence, I’m here for you.”
Those words managed to bring a wry smile to Shadowheart’s lips. They were one of the most truest things Shadowheart ever heard. Diana had been there for her since the moment she helped her escape that pod. Diana had been a steadfast hand and reliable confidant for everyone in their ragtag group. They all had leaned on her, one way or another, with their own innermost personal problems, on this wild and hectic journey to cure themselves of the tadpoles.
But the burden that now held Shadowheart down, she was not sure she was ready to share it. Opening herself up after years of being taught to be tight lipped about everything was a hard habit to break, especially when she was so fragile, lost, and broken. But if there was anyone she would want to open up to, it would be Diana. The Paladin who remained true to her word and oath, the woman who managed to worm her way past all of the fallen Sharran’s defenses, and into her heart.
“I am not ready to talk quite yet,” Shadowheart was able to say solemnly after a stretch of silence. Though she couldn’t see it, Diana gave a nod of understanding. She knew that there were no words that she could say that would heal Shadowheart’s emotional wounds. She stood there silently for a while, staring at the back of Shadowheart’s head wishing there was something she could do say or do to take the pain away. But this was not going to be an easy fix, having one’s faith ripped away and your whole life be a lie took time to heal from.
Diana allowed herself to admit defeat to the problem at hand with a sigh, “I will leave you alone,” she then turned, about to make her exit from the room when Shadowheart spoke again, stopping her in her tracks.
“I want you to stay,” Shadowheart stated with her voice breaking on the last word. Diana moved quick, closing the distance between them and pulling Shadowheart into her arms. Shadowheart melted immediately , allowing the tears that she had been holding at bay since Shar discarded her from her ranks, the tears that added to her internal flood when she discovered the truth of how she ended up a devout of Shar.
They stood there for quite the stretch of time, Shadowheart silently crying and Diana simply holding her. Eventually, Shadowheart picked her head up from Diana’s shoulder, and looked up at the Tiefling with embarrassment, “I’ve ruined your shirt,” she stated tearfully.
The Paladin gave a slight shake of her head, cupping Shadowheart’s face to brush away her tears, “it doesn’t matter, what is important right now is you” Diana said softly.
Shadowheart looked away, feeling a sudden rush of shame, shame at how she allowed herself to played, shamed at how she blindly followed Shar, and shame at the things she did in her former Lady’s name. She could not remember the former missions she had been given but she had a sinking feeling that she had done things that would have incurred Diana’s wrath as a righteous and devoted Paladin.
Calloused fingertips softly grasped her chin, bringing her gaze back to Diana’s, seeing the worried curiosity there, “what was that look for?”
There was still too much turmoil in Shadowheart to be able to put actual words to any emotions she was feeling, and this particular portion of her inner whirlpool had her scared, she was uncertain of how Diana would react to the insinuation that she hurt undeserving people in her past. So far, there had not been a thing she had not been able to tell Diana and not be met with kindness and understanding, even when she told Diana that she worshipped Shar, the Tiefling did not judge.
“I will not pry it from you, but just know that you can tell me anything, anything at all, I am here for you, always,” Diana declared after her question was met with silence.
Shadowheart partly believed that but she had seen how Diana reacted to people who abused others, she idly wondered if Diana had run ins with Sharrans in the past and struck them down with all of her righteous smite. She then suddenly felt a rustling against her mind, and quickly realized it was Diana, reaching out with her tadpole. It was not an attempt to invade Shadowheart’s mind but rather Diana inviting Shadowheart in, so she could see for herself that Diana was not here to give judgement.
The cleric declined the offer with a shake of her head, “I do not need to see your thoughts to know you mean your words, but I know you say them without considering all angles.”
The Tiefling gave a slight tilt of her head in confusion, “what angle is that?”
Shadowheart swallowed thickly, and after a time of warring with herself, she probed Diana’s mind, asking Diana to see her thoughts, Slowly, Diana took the offer, entering Shadowheart’s thoughts with care as not to impede upon something Shadowheart did not want her to see. Shadowheart couldn’t help but to melt slightly at Diana’s care and respect, which did not go unnoticed by the paladin. Still, Shadowheart pushed passed those mushy feelings to allow Diana to see and feel what she meant.
She showed Diana everything they had seen from the curse, showing her the wrath and pain that Shar could reign down among innocent people. Shadowheart showed Diana the many gaping holes in her memory, layering it with the worry and guilt she felt over possible sins and crimes. She showed what was possible, that she could have been an instrument to bring forth terror and desolation in the name of Lady Shar, that she could be the very kind of poison that Diana had pledged her life to eradicating.
But Diana shot those thoughts down resoundingly, it was an inconceivable thing to her that Shadowheart could he capable of such evil. Diana’s belief in her did not quall her worries, but rather annoyed and angered her. She tore herself away from Diana, turning to her window once again and severing their connection. “You are a soft hearted fool, Paladin,” she said hotly, almost spitting out the last word.
Diana gave a soft chuckle, “perhaps but I know when I see a good woman and there is one standing before me. You’ve been disgusted with your former Lady since we’ve arrived to this cursed land. You wouldn’t have turned on her so quickly otherwise, the seeds of doubt had been planted before you met Aylin. I would not be surprised at all if you have had a forgotten history of insubordination”.
Shadowheart scoffed at the notion, Diana had no idea what she was talking about. She had no idea how certain Shadowheart had felt in her destiny being to become a Dark Justicar. She continued to stare out the window, now regretting the decision to ask Diana to stay, she wasn’t going to be of much solace if she was going to spout such nonsense. She heard Diana heave a sigh from behind her and thought that the Tiefling was going to leave her to wallow alone.
That was proven to be incorrect when Diana spoke again, “When we first came across Oliver, before even knowing that he was apart of Thaniel, I could feel your shame towards Shar without even having to read your mind. You looked like you wanted to throw up.” Shadowheart did not respond, to which Diana took as a sign to continue. “Your turn against Shar has been written on the wall since the moment I’ve met you. You are no bringer of darkness, I don’t think you’ve ever been. You’re too kind for it, you’ve shown me that the entire time I’ve known you.”
Shadowheart exhaled deeply, some part of her moved by Diana’s faith in her and another part of her finding it all to be horseshit. She turned around to face the Paladin again and eyed her hardly. She was met with those midnight black eyes brimming with determination to get her to see reason. Diana then took a step closer, then another, and another until she was within arm’s reach. She reached up with a hand and gently caressed Shadowheart’s cheek with the back of her hand. The cleric couldn’t help herself as her eyes closed at the touch.
Something in her melted as she leaned into the touch, she melted even further when Diana rested her forehead against hers. Shadowheart inhaled deeply, now relishing in Diana’s proximity. Her mind flitted to that one night they has spent drinking together and the kiss they shared. Diana’s lips felt so soft, the taste of her so sweet. They hadn’t managed to go beyond that or spend much time alone together at all, but she desperately yearned for more intimacy with the woman before her. She just wasn’t so sure she was deserving of it.
“Shadowheart,” Diana began lowly, “I see that I cannot change your mind about how you view yourself. But just know that I think you have a kind heart that’s been rebelling against what you’ve been taught. I think that’s why you have that scar on your hand,” Diana stated as she moved her arms to encircle Shadowheart’s waist and pull her closer. The cleric’s heart was now in her throat, her lips tingling at the prospect of kissing Diana again, she fought back the urge just enough to allow Diana to complete her thoughts, “just know that I love you and you made me so proud today.”
Shadowheart couldn’t hold herself back any longer after that, a hand shot up to entangle in Diana’s dark, red hair, pulling her down as Shadowheart stood on her tiptoes, bringing their mouths together. Diana returned the kiss with no hesitation, her tongue quickly pushing past her lips to find Shadowheart’s. They broke apart after a time to breathe, and Shadowheart struggled to collect herself, “I can’t tonight-, I’m not ready for-,”
“I know,” Diana cut in on her struggle to find the right words, “I won’t dare pressure you into anything.”
Shadowheart relaxed, “I want you to still stay the night, just hold me, please.”
Diana gave her a half smile, “of course.”