Chapter Text
Victoria was the first to notice something was up.
‘You haven’t eaten your breakfast, Robert.’
‘I’m not hungry.’
‘I got you the newspaper.’
‘Thanks’
But Robert didn’t glance at it - instead, he looked out the window at the January rain.
Later, when she got home from work, she found Robert still in his pajamas.
‘Well that’s a nice way to live! Wish I could spend my day in pajamas for once.’
‘Can’t all have my good fortune, can we?’
When Adam got home, Robert went up to his room.
‘You don’t have to disappear you know,’ Victoria said with a hand on his arm.
‘I don’t want to intrude. And Adam talks such a lot of crap most of the time.’
‘Charming as ever.’
‘Well I’m just being honest.’
After a while, Robert stopped getting up for breakfast with Victoria.
She’d knock on his door. In his room the curtains were thick and closed out the winter morning light, muffling sound. With the windows permanently shut, a smell of stale sweat hung in the air. Robert’s meds were in bottles on the bedside table with a glass of water and, more often than not, a half drunk glass of whiskey.
‘Aren’t you coming down for breakfast, Rob? I made us bacon and eggs.’
Robert answered from the dark, his voice thick with sleep.
‘I’ll get something later.’
‘Then I tell you what, it’s your turn to cook us all an evening meal. I’m fed up of running round after you all,’ Vic coaxed.
‘If you insist,’ he frowned.
Victoria was totally chuffed when she came home to find he’d made steak pie and mash for them all. They sat at the kitchen table together.
‘This is really good, Robert!’ Adam said. ‘Nice one, yeah.’
‘Vic’s not the only one in the family who can cook, you know.’
Adam turned to Victoria.
‘Let’s watch a film later. What do you fancy? Anything but a rom-com.’
‘Thought you were going out for a drink with Aaron tonight,’ she answered.
‘Change of plan. Seems he’s got a new bloke, so he’s on a date isn’t he, the flake.’
Victoria glared at Adam. If looks could kill.
Robert put down his knife and fork.
‘I’m glad for him,’ he said aloud, looking at them both. ‘Anyone want some mustard with this?’
Everyday some small change in Robert’s behavior made Vic slightly more concerned. Like the fact that he left the Classic Car magazine she’d bought for him untouched in its cellophane wrapping. When the milk ran out, instead of going to get some from the local shop, he just drank his coffee black, starting it and then leaving it lying around so the house was littered with stained mugs and coffee spills. He wasn’t eating well, and then he’d have a rush on sugar. She saw dark rings deepening under his pale eyes, and he'd stopped shaving, not that you would notice.
‘I’m concerned about Robert,’ she told Diane, ‘I think he’s depressed.’
‘Robert doesn’t get depressed,’ Diane said. ‘That’s more Andy’s thing. Robert’s more likely to get himself into serious trouble through scheming his way into the next century. He’s most likely bored, so watch him. It can be dangerous.’
Robert spent longer and longer in the shower in the evenings. Adam and Vic tried to avoid fighting about it as they listened to the water and watched the meter. At least it gave them some time alone. Vic found some rather dubious magazines featuring male nudes under the sofa, and dumped them in the recycling.
One evening, Aaron turned up with Adam at the cottage.
‘What are you doing here?’ Rob asked Aaron from the sofa when the two of them walked in, looking behind them to see if anyone else was with them.
‘Came round for a game of cards, didn't I? You got a problem with that?’
‘Yes, actually. I shouldn’t have to see you in my home.’
‘Except it isn’t your home. Your just here 'cos your sister feels sorry for you,’ Aaron retaliated.
While he wasn’t about to say anything, Aaron was a bit shocked by the state of Robert; dressed in jogging trousers and a wool jacket, his hair was long and unkempt, and his eyes were ringed with dark circles.
He sighed.
‘Why don’t you join us for a game?’
‘You’re kidding, aren’t you?’ Robert sneered and then left them to it, going upstairs to bed.
Eventually, Diane came round.
‘So I’m having a bit of a celebration for my birthday. I want my family there. You are coming aren’t you Robert? You promise me?’
‘Diane, you know I can’t come if Andy’s going to be there.’
‘When are you two going to make peace? But anyway, he can’t come. He’s going with Moira to an agricultural fair in Nottingham. So it’ll be me, Doug, Victoria and Adam, and of course Bernice will be joining us, too. Robert I’m not arguing about this. I want you there. It’ll mean a lot to me.’
The evening of the celebration, Robert showered, shaved and put on a good shirt and jeans. Victoria grinned with relief when she saw him.
‘Well, don't you look nice!’
His hair was ridiculously long, hanging over his collar and face, but washed and soft for a change, it made him look younger. He had to fasten the belt of his jeans on a new notch since he seemed to have lost a few pounds too. He fastened his watch strap and pulled on his leather jacket.
‘Now you’re talking,’ she said, ‘You look like the old Rob.’
‘I don’t want to look like the old Rob,’ he answered her, looking concerned.
‘Alright. I just mean, you look more yourself.’
Once at the pub, Diane was thrilled to see them all and they sat at a table together. Robert paid for a couple of bottles of champagne. For Diane’s birthday he’d bought her theater tickets to a show in London.
‘So what are your plans, now, Robert?’ Doug asked.
‘I… I don’t really … I’m just weighing up some options.’
‘Poor Robert,’ Victoria laughed affectionately. ‘He’s still director of the White’s company on paper, so he’s earning all this money, plus he’s got income from the shares. It must be so difficult not actually needing to work.’
‘Well I’m giving you board and keep at least,’ Robert objected laughing.
A little later on he went to the bathroom.
When he came out he saw Aaron was at the bar, and standing with him was a nice looking lad who looked in his early twenties. He was dark haired and clean shaven, a couple of inches taller than Aaron. They were standing close enough for their arms to brush against each other as they conversed.
Robert closed his eyes and drew in his breath, before pulling himself up and walking past them on his way to sitting back down next to Victoria.
He hadn’t counted on Adam, sitting on the other side of Vic as he called out and greeted Aaron.
‘Hey, you two, good to see you out and about for a change instead of hiding out on your own. How you doing Liam? Are you putting up with Aaron here? ’
As Aaron turned to Adam he saw Robert for the first time, and his smile faded to be replaced by a startled expression. With Robert not going out he hadn’t expected to see him at all. Their eyes met.
Robert tilted his head in acknowledgement and then looked away. Under the table he ran the palms of his hands down the material of his jeans. Diane was saying something and he could hear her voice but not what she was saying. From the corner of his eye he realized that Aaron’s new bloke - was it Liam, Adam had said - was also looking at him. He ran a hand through his stupidly long hair.
Liam was speaking to Aaron. Robert could just catch snippets of their conversation.
‘So that’s Robert, then? He’s, erm, he’s really good looking.’
Robert saw Aaron place a hand on the lad's arm. He had to lean forward suddenly as a feeling of nausea gripped him.
‘Yeah, well. He’s a disaster,’ he heard Aaron say. ‘I don’t want to talk about him.’
‘Sorry Diane. I need to leave.' He stood quickly. ‘Happy Birthday.’
‘Well. Thank you for being here, pet. I really do appreciate it.’
Robert looked at his route out of the pub. He needed to push through the crowd to get to the door and there was no way of avoiding Aaron and his new friend. He set off, but just as he was walking past them, someone stepped backwards into Robert so that he lost balance and collided straight onto Aaron. Robert’s hand automatically reached out to Aaron’s arm to steady himself and Aaron reached out and held him for a moment to stop him falling. Robert flinched at his touch and stepped away from Aaron, only to find himself backed into Liam, so that Liam’s hands reached up to his back to stop him.
‘Don’t touch me!’ he said to Liam raising his hands and looking directly at his face. ‘Don’t ever touch me!’
Liam looked confused.
‘Sorry, mate.’
‘I’m not your mate,’ Robert snorted.
‘Sorry!’ Liam stuttered again.
‘Robert go home,’ Aaron warned.
‘I don’t have one anymore,’ Robert replied. ‘Remember?’ And turning, he walked quickly out of the pub.
When Victoria and Adam got home, Robert was sleeping laid out on the sofa, the room was dark and the TV was on mute.
Victoria squeezed his hand, which was icy cold, to wake him.
‘Robert, get to bed,’ she said.