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Karliah never expected death to be such a blissful thing.
Moreso she, after possibly being devoured or murdered by a demon right in the depths of the fade, didn’t expect she would feel this at peace. She sat in the lullaby of warmth, she’s not sure how long, but it’d been so long since she had the opportunity to bask, soak in the warmth around her with not a single care in the world. No worries about this moment of peace that was in the tranquil haven she’d found, but even that had the habit of breaking.
“Lazing around there, sis?” came a giddy voice, Karliah blinking rapidly through the sun beams as her eyes adjusted, her vision blurring as she sat up. She squinted up in the direction of the voice, but when her eyes finally focused her mouth hung agape. The face grinning cheekily at her, a face she never thought she’d see again, chirped happily at her stunned silence. “What, you seen a ghost?”
“Blue bird?” Her voice was smaller than before, and Carver's eyes softened at the tone, his usual bravado gone completely.
“Who else, woa-!” Before he could finish, Karliah grabbed his hand, pulling him in as she stood, dragging him into a hug she’d been desperate to have since that day escaping Lothering. Carver let out a huff, the wind knocked from his lungs, but even so, he returned the affection, arms coming to envelope his sister. She sighed, her shoulders loosening and her face burying itself into the linen shirt on his shoulder, unable to suppress the sharp intake of breath before the tears could escape her eyes.
“I missed you, Carver,” She murmured softly into the rough fabric of his shirt, her muffled voice choking and her breathing shaky. The raven haired male let out a slight laugh, short but hearty. Karliah couldn’t help but huff a laugh in response. “I know, I’m the jokester, not a crybaby”
“You’ve got a lifetime of heartache to cry over, Karliah,” He hushed her, blinking rapidly as he himself seemed to almost fall apart at the sight of her. He moved his left hand to hold her head, gently coaxing her to let out her pain, though he felt her tensing up. “I know, you’ve done so well. You kept the family together as much as you could, teeth bared through all of it.” Karliah sniffed, leaning on her brother more as he let out a sigh. “I know mother didn’t help, I know Beth didn’t help. But you were amazing sis,”
Karliah pulled back, Carver dropping his hand back to her shoulder as pearly greens looked up at him through the sheen of sadness. “Awe, boss, don't cry.” She tried to smile, but it faltered faster, cracking and wobbling, trying to stay afloat. “C’mon, don’t cry when you did so well.”
“I got there in the end,” She squeaked out, Carver letting the smile settle on his lips as she used the heel of her hand to wipe away the tears. “I wished you’d been there though. Maddy would’a loved you,”
“I love her,” He stated. The brunette sucked in a breath, her eyes widening and the tears threatening to come right back. She deflated though, a soft chuckle breaking through the bout of melancholy that had knocked the jokes out of her.
“Spying, huh?”
“Well I’ve got to pass the time somehow!” The two giggled between themselves, Carver loosening his grip on his sister, though his eyes never wandered from her. Karliah gently punched his upper arm, rolling her eyes to see her baby brother so protective even in the face of their deaths. Death. She’d dreamed of a reunion with Carver in death, and while this moment meant more to her than anything, she also knew it meant her time with her loves was over. No more Maddy grumbling her way through the morning routine, no more coaxing Dog to stop chewing every single armour piece the family owned…No more Varric, his dry humour and the warm smell of shoddy whiskey when he pulled her against him.
Carver watched her closely, as if he knew the overwhelming feeling of both relief and despair, the pull of solace yet drag of anguish, the unknown laying before them. “You feeling ok?”
“Yes. No, but yes. I—” She searched, but the words weren’t playing nice today. “It’s so much. It’s all okay, but—”
“You’re not okay,” Funny right? She shouldn’t be worried anymore, she couldn’t change anything, do anything and yet she wanted to, needed to.
“How can I be? The world’s on the brink of ending all over again, and all I can do is just,” her hands motioned around her as her frustration rose, like lava bubbling and rising and she had to step back from Carver. She felt like a teenager again, angry and resentful and so, so frustrated. She clenched both hands, fists curling into her skin and her eyes couldn’t remove themselves from watching the veins pop as her blood boiled. “I can’t do anything and I know, I know, I should be at peace, calm, collected and just ready to ‘live’ the rest of my life but I—they need me. I need them.”
Carver let her rant, silent through the whole thing.
He was gentle as he cradled her elbows in his hands, bringing them back down from the exasperated fling they were thrown into. He was careful, never forcing her, but Karliah always wanted to listen to Carver. She let him bring her arms back to her, letting the emotions fizzle and ebb.
“I know, sis,” He hummed out, the brunette relaxing more as he let her just breathe for a minute, letting go of one arm to help emphasise his own breath. In and out, he led her through centering herself, waiting until Karliah had settled again to continue. “They need you, and you still need to heal.” She blinked, nose scrunching as her vision focused fully on Carver as her brain struggled to catch up on what he was laying down. His smile was small, a barely there quirk of his lips, the smile not reaching his eyes. His waterline shone with unshed tears, and a knot formed in the pit of her stomach.
“Why did you say it like that, Carv?” She accused, her scrunch tightening and her brows furrowing. He sheepishly coughed out a laugh, the hand he had used coming up to rub over his face, ending by covering his mouth. He was hiding as best as he could.
“I never was good at keeping secrets from you.” Karliah placed her hand on his own, hoping he’d remove it from his mouth, to coax him out of his shell like she used to—but they weren’t kids anymore. “You’ve done so much, suffered so, so much,” he barely choked out, blinking rapidly to try and keep the dams from breaking, but even the deep breaths couldn’t stop a rogue tear cascading down his face.
“Carver.” She wasn’t far behind him with the tears.
“You deserve more peace than anyone!” His voice broke, Karliah diverting her hand from his own to his cheeks, holding it and using her thumb to brush away the escaped tear, her brother practically melting into the affection. He’s been alone for so long. “It’s selfish to ask you to stay here.” The knot in her stomach tightened at his tone.
“It’s okay to be selfish,” She sighed, watching as he, little by little, let the emotions flow out of him, the teardrops coming in the masses now.
“Not this time, ‘Li,” Carver breathed out, one big inhale following as he tried to compose himself, though the attempt failed. “You deserve to get a happy ending.” Sure of himself, Carver pushed forward and brought their foreheads together, closing his eyes as he did so, seeming to say goodbye all over again. Again. She couldn’t do this again.
“Carver, it’s okay, I can’t go back,” She tried to assure him, although she too closed her eyes, desperate to savour every moment with her brother she had.
“You can. You will.” He breathed in, deep and full, and when the brunet pulled back, fully releasing his sister from his hold, only offering his hands out in case she were to falter. She didn’t, as expected. “I’m proud to call you my sister, but you still still have a story to write.”
Carver's hands began to glow from the inside out, a brilliant gold, magic curling off of him in waves. His eyes were overtaken by the same gleaming aura. Karliah tried to speak, reach out to him, comfort her brother but she couldn’t speak. Her vision began blurring at the edges, her body feeling light and her thoughts cloudy.
The smile was small, fleeting on Carver's face. Her vision blacked out, his last words echoing in her head as everything faded to a gentle numbness.
“I love you sister,”
—
Karliah hated whatever magic Carver used, it hurt like a sonofabitch.
Her head pounded; almost as if an ogre had pummbled her. Her bones ached and her joints creaked like the unkept door hinges in the Hanged Man. The ground felt unstable yet solid, frosty and coarse on her hands. Her stomach lurched at the feeling of being alive again. A groan left her as she swayed, fighting to pick herself up off the cold ground, blinking the dark blotches as she tried to reorient herself.
She was left agape as everything in her vision suddenly swam back into focus, the wastelands around her coloured blue in the dusk light. The wasteland. She was back? Carver had done what he said, and Karliah desperately scrambled to her feet, trying to find exactly where she was. She needed to get back to her family, she had to see her child again, see him. How long had it been? Had the world survived? So many questions, and they bounced around her skull as she ran the second she was able to stand up.
Her clothes were torn and the icy bite of the air stung through the gaps, but it meant she was alive. She stumbled and lost balance a lot, body weak but thriving and she headed in the direction she was sure would be her salvation.
The Keep wasn’t far from where she had been brought back, and the ancient walls loomed above, still strong. Stronger than when she left. What she assumed were grey wardens could just be seen poking above the mighty fortress, winged helmets as clear as the stars in the sky. She called out for someone, voice hoarse and more of a screech, but the wardens on top of the battlements still heard, turning to look in her direction.
Karliah heard the frantic sounds of surprised yapping, the soldiers of the grey immediately jumping to action and as she collapsed to her knees at the now opened gates. She sobbed openly, flooded with a strange mix of relief and utter, soul-wrenching confusion.
Despite it all though, she was alive. The catharsis surrounded her like a vice, holding her tightly as she looked up to the peaks of the keep, a deep orange and purple backsplash. Maybe, this pain will be worth it, just to hold her family again. For the smell of old, shitty whiskey and bright laughter filling the halls.