Chapter Text
It started with a red, slightly swollen cheek. It didn't look serious and Daryl himself didn't seem to give a shit, so really it wasn't Rick's fault that he failed to give careful attention to the sign. That didn't ease the guilt and anger Rick felt when he saw Daryl's bruised jaw a couple of days later, not even a little bit.
"What happened?" After a waitress had taken their orders and gone off, Rick leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. Daryl's eyes were averted downward from Rick's as his body backed away slightly, his back pressed against the chair. "Nothin'. Just a lil quarrel."
"You had an argument and he hit you?" There must have been an edge in Rick's voice. Daryl shot a dirty look in his direction. "I punched him back. Ain't no pussy or some battered wife."
"I didn't mean it like that, you know that." Rick tried to keep the emotions from his voice, heaving a sigh. They had known each other since high school and known how to push each other's buttons. Daryl was the volatile one, but also he was the one to back off before Rick got really exasperated. Everyone else in the school had thought they must be too different to get along, with their backgrounds miles apart, but to everyone's surprise they had ended up being best friends and been hanging out together since then.
That Daryl had had enough faith in Rick to tell him he had started going with a guy had been a testament to their close friendship, though Rick had been dumbstruck at that news. He hadn't even known Daryl was into men, and there were proper words to describe his emotions at that momentーhe hadn't known what they had been, if truth be told.
Rick trusted Daryl and respected his decisions, not keen on fussing over his personal life. Daryl was a grown man, after all, not the kid who couldn't protect himself from the flurry of fists and belts. Still, Rick couldn't take it if someone hurt the man he cared about more than he should.
"You should try to avoid havin' a fist fight with him, no matter what." When he continued, Daryl looked down again, chewing his lower lip, hands tucked under his armpits. It made him look like a teenager again, bruised, insecure and defensive. Rick ducked his head to catch his eyes. "Daryl."
"Yeah I heard you, Officer. " Daryl grated out, fishing out a pack of cigarettes and putting one between his lips. It was his way of saying 'end of discussion' or 'there's nothing more to say.' It didn't work on Rick, though. Thing was, Rick was as stubborn and resolute as Daryl.
"Daryl, you're my brother." His own words hurt him for a certain reason but he managed to push it aside, reaching out to touch Daryl's hand on the table, his eyes never leaving the other's. "If you need any help, I'm here."
"I don't need nothin'." Daryl muttered under his breath defiantly, but didn't pull his hand away. His gaze fixed on the table, looking lost, his thin lips around the cigarette pressing into a tight line. The look in his eyes clenched Rick's heart. When he'd heard that Daryl's old man had been thrown into jail, he had thought he would never see that look again. He just hoped his hunch was wrong.
A week later, Rick was on patrol when he saw Daryl walking down the sidewalk. He pulled up, rolling down the window of his cruiser to speak to the other man. A cap rested low on Daryl's head and shadowed his eyes, making it difficult for Rick to read his expression.
"Hey, Daryl." He was quite sure the other man knew it was him in the squad car, but Daryl hadn't stopped until Rick had called his name, which filled him with foreboding. When the other man stopped beside the car, Rick peered up at him and swallowed, shocked. Daryl sported a black eye, his lips split, bruises dotting his neck, butterfly bandages covering cuts on his cheekbone. His eyes were shadowy pools of blue, vacant, glancing down at Rick. It almost scared him. Like when they had been high-school students.
And once he took in Daryl's features, a surge of fury and disgust rose up in Rick's chest, spouting from his mouth. "Did he do that?" Rick hissed, eyes narrowed in wrath.
"None of your damn business," Daryl's voice came out hoarse and strangely flat, but Rick could see how tense his shoulders were, how he kept his eyes from meeting Rick's, as if he was ashamed of himself. "Don't waste time on me. Go back to your work."
With that he walked off into the crowd, his head low, hands in the pockets. "Daryl!" Rick called out from inside the car, not wanting to follow him in the patrol car and attract needless attention. "I'll call you later!"
Rick didn't know when he'd started to have these feelings for Daryl, when his worries and concerns about his classmate had turned into something much less brotherly. But he did remember that the realization had hit him hard when Daryl had told him he'd been dating with the guy; he remembered that Daryl's cheeks had flushed red, his eyes downcast, fingers fidgeting in his lap. Rick had realized at the moment that he'd been in love with him. The protectiveness, possessiveness and lust he felt for Daryl were serious enough to make him face and admit it. But too late. Daryl was somebody else's now.
He'd thought that was okay, as long as Daryl was happy, because that was all that mattered. Daryl had never talked about the guy that much, hell he would be the last person to be a motormouth about anything. Despite that, Rick could see things between them had been okay, and Daryl had looked happy enough at first. But seeing him like that, all bruised and downtrodden, was beyond unbearable.
He called Daryl that night but there was no answer. He tried again and again, ending up receiving nothing from him. Putting his phone down Rick was mad at himself. He shouldn't have let Daryl go. The urge to jump in his car and drive straight to his apartment was so strong, but it felt intrusive, disrespectful, maybe too much. He was just a friend after all, and decided he would visit him straight after work tomorrow. That justification wasn't convincing enough to let him sleep soundly that night, though.
But things must have been worse than he had anticipated. When he was doing paperwork at his desk the next day, a desk sergeant came up and informed him he had a visitor by the name of Daryl. It surprised him since he knew the last thing Daryl wanted to do was walk into a police station voluntarily, and reinforced the urgency of the situation.
Rick hurried out into the corridor and found Daryl sitting on a bench, his shoulders hunched, hands limp between his legs. He was in his leather jacket, looking drained, the bruises still prominent on his pale skin. A sharp pang of guilt hit Rick at the sight of him.
"Hey... you okay?" Rick kept his voice soft and calm as he sat down next to him, leaning forward to make eye contact with him. "You want coffee or something? We can go and sit somewhere else if you want."
Daryl shook his head without looking back at Rick. "What, like an interrogation room? No way. 'M fine here." His voice was raspy as if he had been screaming all day. Rick knew Daryl hated the feeling of being locked up and having nowhere to escape, so let him be. A heavy silence fell between them. Rick waited for what felt like forever until the other man licked his split lips and finally forced the words past them. "Went to tell him last night that we shouldn't see each other anymore."
Rick's heart skipped a beat. He couldn't help but stare at Daryl, feeling relieved and sorry for his friend, not for the selfish, abusive man who didn't deserve someone like Daryl, until he continued. "He got mad and said he wouldn't accept it and allow me to leave."
Daryl clasped his hands between his thighs and blinked his eyes a few times, as if he was trying to hold back something he didn't want to release. Anger and dread bubbled up inside Rick, so harsh that he hesitated to ask. "What did he do?"
"He saidー" Daryl let out a shaky breath, voice cracked, "he said it was all my fault and..."
Suddenly Rick noticed Daryl's hands shaking uncontrollably and the purple marks on his wrists protruded from his sleeves.
"I said no and stop, but he didn't listen and..."
It was horrible. It was too much to hear Daryl's voice break like that, to see tears wetting his lashes, to feel how tense and shaky his body was. Rick lost his words, not knowing what to say. His heart wrenched and knotted in sheer anger and horror and pain.
Daryl took a few minutes to compose himself, then shook his head, a resigned look settling over his features. "He said I was overreacting and sappy. Said he did it because he still loved me."
"No, Darylーno, you did nothing wrong. It's not your fault. It's him who is wrong, not you." Rick tried to bring himself eye to eye with the other to emphasize his words. Not looking to him, Daryl muttered. "But he's myー"
"It doesn't matter if he's your boyfriend or partner or husband. When they don't respect your wishes and force you to have sex against your will, it's rape."
Daryl showed no reaction, no flinch, no glare, no tears, only staring down at his hands, wriggling them. There was no anger in his tone when he breathed out, which worsened the pain in Rick's chest. "Shoulda fought back more. Shoulda known better."
Rick closed the distance between them, daring to place his hand on the other's thigh. "You tried. It's not your fault you couldn't stop him."
Carefully and slowly, he stroked his leg, trying to comfort him, his gaze fixed on Daryl's plaintive profile. "You want to report it?"
Another silence. Daryl's eyes still downcast to the floor, his fingers tangled. Rick didn't push him, knowing it was really hard for a rape victim to report the crime. Especially when it came to males, they themselves were inclined to think men couldn't be the victim of a sexual assault. But it was wrong. Rick intended to respect whatever decision Daryl made, but would never forgive and forget what the guy had done to his best friend. Hell he wanted to hunt him down and rip him to pieces right away.
"When I saw you yesterday," Daryl started, then glanced at Rick finally. "You were pissed off more than I was."
"Because I care about you." Rick nodded, squeezing the other's knee with his hand reassuringly. Daryl's gaze stayed on his for a long moment, his red eyes piercing Rick's chest. "I saw it in your face. And figured out I should finish with him."
Rick nodded again, his face softening. Though a searing fire of anger and hatred didn't dissipate, a warmth spread across his chest at Daryl's words, at the gratitude in his eyes. They didn't need to put everything into words. They could read each other with eyes and nods. Rick now knew that Daryl had come here to report the assault. He felt deeply proud of his friend's strength and fell for him again. He would do anything for this man, even if his feelings would remain unrequited.