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I had confessed my love for a dear lady, and the silence that followed was torturous. Dull shadows softened and distorted the emotion from her face. It was unnerving. Had I angered or enticed her?
Miss Kurisu stared at me with big silver eyes, gleaming like the windows. We stood in the same room where we confessed our love in the other world line... only this is a different account of the same tale.
It wasn't raining outside like it had before. Yet it may as well have been. The blinds were closed and cloaked the room in a grim, murky shade. The eerie atmosphere surrounding us detracted from my focus like a katana to my skull. The scent of dust clung to the floor and walls like an underground internet café. Daru was merely absent from the picture.
"How do you feel about me?" I asked, heart pounding. I should have said those three words sooner. Why did I delay when I wanted this to be my last time leap?
Kurisu blushed. "Close your eyes."
The words were more hesitant and softer than before.
I followed her command, praying that the events of this world line would unfold the same way the other one did. I begged for her touch, even an imitation of it, a lie or hallucination.
She was so close it couldn't be anything except for reality. Everything disappeared but the lines of light from the blinds behind my closed eyelids.
My legs quivered as she pressed her mouth, cold and tiny, against mine.
Please. I don't want it to stop.
Her affection was soft, sweet and over too soon. I wondered if she could feel desperation on my breath as she pulled away.
I opened my eyes, feeling half broken, half expectant. Kurisu's eyebrows furrowed. I was not ready for a philosophical argument, a battle of intellect or even a debate of scientific theory. I wanted all pettiness, logic and criticism gone.
"What's that look for?" She demanded.
I could play the romantic route like last time, I considered, but would that lead to the best outcome?
"Girl Prodigy Miss Kurisu." A small playful smile curled at my mouth, "It's clear you've never kissed anyone before."
"How dare you!" Kurisu retorted. "What makes you say that?"
"You're so nervous," I said with a grin, "Why, if you had any experience you would make me beg for more."
The red head did not appreciate the game. She almost spat in my face.
"Are you disgusting or what?" She admonished.
"Like Daru says, am I truly disgusting when you can also appreciate the lewd meaning?"
"That!" Nearly as crimson as her hair, she turned away. "Even if you have a point, you said it first. You are the one who is most guilty."
I smiled. "Maybe, but you are generously listening and helping me in my time of need. Will you come fight the Organization with me, Christina? Those fiends will kill to keep us perverts apart."
"I would never defend you for putting me in that slimy box, pervert," Kurisu accused, then she slightly smiled. For a smug second. "Thanks for being a jerk. I'm leaving."
No, it's not working… My heart sank and my legs temporarily froze. Think of something else, quick!
I cleared my throat. "I'm sorry Kurisu. I didn't mean to offend you." A silky elegance filled my voice. "I was just trying to be charming."
"HA! Charming?" At the very least, she looked at me again. "Where do you get your ideas? Daru?"
If she wasn't walking out the door, I was winning. Teeming with confidence, I smiled, dour. "Only when I dream about you."
Kurisu gave a half-hearted laugh which turned into florescent blushing. She pulled her gaze from me.
That's right citizens of Japan. I know how to woo a lady!
"Please," she muttered, tone as sinister as if I had misnamed her, "If your dreams were even half as romantic as mine we'd have something to talk about."
My jaw dropped. I got a sudden vision of Kurisu as a geisha, stunning and elusive, fluttering her eyelashes. She would have the most intricate outfit, not to mention vibrant red lipstick to match her hair. Such grace and poise! Here she was the epitome of sneaky.
The scientist scrunched up her nose. I couldn't give up. So long as she wasn't departing the beautiful Kurisu could have her nose as high in the air as she liked.
I took a step towards her.
She likes romantic things. I know that much now. Hmm, what was that movie I saw?
Kurisu's face softened, although her eyes darted to mine and her shoulders trembled. Was that shaking of fear or admiration?
I slowly moved closer to her face. As I did so, she didn't recoil. My cheek brushed hers as my nose pointed beyond her ear. I left her breathing for a moment. She was too taken aback to speak. We were millimetres away, the skin about to meet but not daring.
The only question that remained was whether I wanted to sound like an irresistible thug or a sexy rich man.
"When I dream about you, darling…" I murmured. "I wish I'd never have to wake up again."
It was something between the two, but it worked!
"Oh…" Kurisu surprise was expressed by a strange mangled sound.
What was that? Is she unable to resist her temptations?
I couldn't hold back an almost predatory grin. I knew I could mimic a feral look from practicing in the mirror so frequently. I'd never perfected my method but I keep trying and reassessing. That is the sort of dedicated scientist I am!
I leaned back, still inches away. Kurisu's face reddenned and her eyes watered. She gulped. "I, uh… You b-better not be joking, Okabe!"
I chuckled. "Is this the face of a joker?" I lowered my voice again, "sweet, wondrous Kurisu?"
"I hope not!" she barked, looking intimidated.
I grinned. She was so easy to confuse. Not that I was trying to manipulate her…. well, I guess I was. It was for her benefit as well as mine. If I could figure out how she felt it might aid my resolve.
"What do you want from me?" Kurisu asked, clearly feeling flummoxed by my change in character.
"More importantly, what do you want from me?" I asked. I bowed. "I'm at your command, princess."
We were now at eye level, something so precious and novel! By the blushing Kurisu was certainly feeling... overwhelmed.
"You think you're so chummy, don't you?" She kept a stony demeanour, "What if I just… I dunno… walked out the door?"
No, you can't be so cruel!
This trial was thwarted. What had I done wrong?
"Dear, if you offend me by leaving…." I tried the low, sexy voice, "Who knows if I'll feel secure enough to present this offer to you again."
I smiled playfully, and Kurisu crumbled under the spell. Joking or not, she had to follow along for the benefit of the doubt. She hesitated, and only walked away to ensure the door was locked.
She returned, a plan clearly forming in her mind.
"You know, I've always been curious what you look like underneath that lab coat of yours," she said, a malicious gleam in her eye. "If you're so serious, take it off."
My heart pounded.
No one has ever requested such a thing from me! Except for that time I shall not mention. Heat rose to my face.
"I, uh…" I give up! No! I ought to persevere! "Of course, m-my dear."
I spun around, and, fingers trembling, slipped the lab coat off of my shoulders and folded it on the ground. I felt more skeletal than usual with just a shirt and pants. What was this obscure feeling in my arms? How did normal fools wear T-shirts? This was a grave injustice!
I strained my neck to meet the woman's eyes.
"Are you sure you want to look?" I asked.
Kurisu nodded, satisfied. "Of course I do. Turn around."
I did, covering myself with my arms. I had never felt so naked in front of someone! This was worse than any time in an onsen. My sexual intentions must be interfering with my confidence. It was most disturbing... and captivating all the same.
Kurisu laughed. "You're pathetic, Okabe. C'mon, take away your arms."
I did, crying dreadful tears inside. "Do you enjoy this humiliation?" I asked.
Kurisu smiled. "Yes, actually."
Stay calm, Okabe. Think of the progress you have made. This beauty has stayed in the room and she is even enjoying herself. The best thing you can do is continue the trend – don't mess it up.
"Wh-what else would you like me to do?" I asked, voice meek and pathetic.
Kurisu paced the room and put a finger to her chin. "I thought of something, but I dunno…" She sighed in mock frustration, "It's probably too much for you."
"C'mon, Kurisu, I managed this, I think I can take it." My pretending to be confident wasn't working this time, so I added, "I will for you."
"Hmmm," Kurisu 's smile faltered, "May I… take off your shirt?"
Badam badam badam.
"K-K- Kurisu!" I mouthed, stupefied. Words failed me. Kurisu's expression changed from one of silliness to intent. She paced towards me. I spotted a deep longing in her eyes, a desire on her tainted, cherry lips. How could I refuse? "I... what has come over you, Chris?!"
"What?"
"What has possessed your brilliant mind, Kurisu?"
"You are asking now?" Kurisu gulped. "I mean... did I misinterpret your meaning or something?"
"What meaning is that?" I challenged.
"Romance, I suppose?" Kurisu struggled to say. "Physical romance."
"Really? How fortunate. I was thinking the same."
"Great. I mean... I knew that," Kurisu said defiantly.
"I don't know what romances you have been reading," I said, "but I want a copy."
"I'll agree to that," Kurisu said. "Maybe you would learn a thing or two."
"Excellent. I think it's only fair I can request something of you next, yes?" I asked.
The scientist shook her head and twirled her tie around her finger. "What if you ask me for something I can't do?"
Her nose brushed mine and she gave a long, slow kiss on my cheek. It was gentle like a cloud. She breathed cold air down my neck and kissed me again.
"Okabe?" she murmured, and she grabbed hold of my shirt.
Mystified and ashamedly excited, I took hold of her arms. "To protect this frail maiden, I suggest we devise a safe word. What do you say?"
Never mind that safe words were for the obscene and violent. This situation certainly fit the criteria in my mind.
"I vote you don't pick it," Kurisu suggested.
"Darn."
"Besides, isn't a safe word unnecessary? This doesn't seem... extreme enough."
"I beg to differ. Everything we've experienced is unusual in some form or another. It is only fitting that we create a magical safe word."
"Yes, I suppose so." Kurisu's eyelids drooped as though she'd drunk one too many beers. "Do you have any ideas?"
"How about 'my personal fork'?"
"No! 'Death' would be better."
"That's morbid, sweet cheeks," I said kindly, as though discussing what to have for lunch, "What about 'sunshine'?"
"Fine, sunshine will do." My assistant pouted in reluctant agreement. "If we say it for now on, it counts, alright?"
"Yes. Safe word initiated!"
I closed the forbidden distance between us and kissed her on the mouth. This time, I let my inhibition go. Cautiously, I poked my tongue inside and she welcomed it ever so gently. Forgetting etiquette, slow kisses sped up into passionate thrashing. Her mouth was warm on the inside, but cold on the outside- such a daring contrast. Heat shot through my body like poison. She tried to pull on my shirt, but I kept my arm steady. She wasn't allowed to do anything. Not yet.
Coming to my senses, I pulled away. We breathed heavily, sweating. I leant towards her ear again.
"Are you sure you're comfortable with where this is going, Kurisu?" I asked, sincerely. I could smell her unique bodily odour on her shirt.
Kurisu paused, squeezed on my arm and nodded. "I am if you are."
"I've never been more overjoyed in my life," I said. "Where were we?"
Kurisu tugged on my shirt. I looked deep into her eyes. Her last request had been disrobement.
"You don't really want to see me without a shirt, do you?" I wondered, sheepish.
"I could ask the same to you." Kurisu pointed out with a shrug. "I won't judge you."
Those words were honest, so it was easier to comply.
"Neither will I."
"Good."
I wanted to add another joke for good measure, but Kurisu gave my shirt another tug. I gently let go of her arm, and she slowly lifted my shirt up above my head. I shivered, praying for sympathy, as cold washed over me.
The beauty threw my shirt to the side, and she looked me up and down. I tried to cover myself. My torso was bony, pale and unsightly, the one extreme on the spectrum of undesirable nerd.
"Hey, scrawny," she said sharply, and she smiled, "You don't need to hide."
"I think I do," I protested.
Kurisu grinned. "Nah."
She leant forward and kissed me. She ran a hand through my hair. I tried to forget I was wearing nothing. Kurisu's kisses became wetter, more daring and my body grew fervid. With a jolt I felt her warm chest press against me. It was a comforting, yet exhilarating gesture. I almost ran out of breath.
"My dear Kurisu," I murmured awed between kisses, "I can just imagine how beautiful you must be underneath tha…."
More kisses. The girl's hand ran down from my hair, the back of my neck, my bony spine and around to my belt. I grabbed her hand and moved it upwards.
"Sorry," she murmured.
"That's quite alright, Christina."
She didn't correct me.
Slow down the kisses. Keep them wet and longing. Yes, like that. How wonderful she was. I ran my hand along her collarbone, unsure of whether to go further. To my surprise, Kurisu grabbed my hand and gently pressed it against one of her breasts.
Oh my god.
I was too overwhelmed with an absolute lust for Miss Kurisu to hold back my gentlemanly like manner. I groaned.
Apparently interpreting that as encouragement, she lowered herself onto all fours and tugged on my trousers. I followed suit and sat on the floor - it was only right as lead researcher. From here, the woman pushed me backward. As I hadn't fully balanced myself, I fell right onto my back.
"ARGh! It's cold." I cringed, trying to recover.
"Weakling."
Her reply was as icy as the apartment floor.
Kurisu was clearly too driven by her desire to maintain conversation. She crawled over me, and pulled down part of her blouse with a finger, exposing a deep violet bra. I probably looked scared because she let go.
"Do you want me, Okabe?" she asked with a hint of sassiness. She appeared to enjoy teasing me. Leaning down, she pressed her nose to mine.
"Wh-what's the right answer?" I asked, cautiously. Enough with the games. "You must answer immediately! It is the will of Steins Gate."
Kurisu laughed. She allowed her weight to press against my groin. That was the breaking point. I could feel the outline of her underwear from beneath her trousers. My physiology prepared to go all the way, against logic and rationality.
Unfortunately, Kurisu noticed and blushed. We were lucky virgins, alarmed and invigorated by each minuscule change.
"Y-you're …" I stuttered.
"You're a pervert," she blurted out. She temporarily climbed off me to remove her trousers.
"Yes, you are," I replied.
"O-only when it comes to y-you," she muttered. Her underwear was white with violet frills along the seams. Resuming her place sitting on top of me, she began to rub against my erection.
"Thank you. You look stunning," I said half a minute too late.
She was so soft. I must feel so hard to her. How girls find pleasure in sitting on something akin to machinery is a mystery. Was it the cause of hormones or just erratic neurological impulses?
Her breathing became heavy.
"Am I weirding you out?" she asked.
"Not any more than I weird myself out." I took a deep breath, "I, uh…"
How could I even begin to explain what I wanted?
"What do you want?" Kurisu asked. She rested her breasts against my chest. She took one of my hands and gently pressed my fingers against her lips. Slightly terrified of how this would make my thinking capacity worse, I pushed two of my fingers into her mouth. She began to hesitantly suck them. I groaned. I had despised myself so strongly for reading Daru's hentai manga.
"Kurisu!" I moaned, squirming against her curvy body, "I… you're so…"
"Irresistible?"
"Yes, that."
"Sexy?"
"Of course!"
My voice was breaking now. Why did she have to sound like heaven?
"What do you want?" she murmured.
"I…uh…"
Sweat dripped down my face, salty and hot. I pushed my hips up against her and tried to pleasure myself through her. Kurisu's breathing became higher in pitch.
"O-okabe?" she asked.
"Yes, my dear?"
"Please," she begged.
"Please what?"
Kurisu bit her lip. Her face flushed. She grabbed my hand, and placed it to her breast again.
"Take it off," she said simply. Kurisu tried to pull my arm up, but it didn't really work.
Just being naked on my top half wasn't enough, but she wanted to see downstairs too? There was no doubt I craved for such an occurrence, but this wasn't just about me… for once.
I scrutinized her expression. Was this really what she wanted? None of us had said the safe word, so one could assume It was fine. With her eyes watering out of desperation, she nodded.
I stopped what I was doing and slowly unbuttoned and removed Kirisu's shirt. I almost wanted to vomit because the emotions were so intense. I removed the clothes so slowly and carefully it was like trying to measure out two drops of Acetaldehyde. Her stomach folds creased and somehow made her inward belly button more charming and adorable. The curves of her backside were equally gorgeous, smooth and round. Her breasts were shapely, held in the violet undergarment. Casual fare, but wonderful nonetheless.
Before Kurisu could utter a word she bent down and kissed me. She lifted her hips off me, and motioned my saliva covered hand towards her underwear. I gasped between the kisses. She gently pressed upwards, and guided my fingers in a slow, rocking motion. When I took over, she let go.
"Hey, Okabe," she asked, quite seriously.
"Y-yes? Dearest Kurisu?"
"Um…" she blushed again, "Do you want to try going all the way?"
A fire erupted inside, a thirst that could only be quenched by the taste of her tender skin and gorgeous wet folds.
"Is that viable right now?" I asked.
Kurisu nodded. "I always come prepared for my experiments."
"You, my dear, are far cleverer than your appearance suggests."
She hit me. "Shut up."
"Just say when," I said. I abandoned Kurisu's sweet underwear and pushed her onto her back. The girl laughed.
"You think you can handle me?"
"I think so."
I let my inner pervert loose. I ran kisses from her collarbone down to her breasts, over her bra and went further down. I trailed one of my hands up her inner thigh and towards her underwear as I did this. Kissing her stomach, I repeated the action Kurisu had shown me. Slow, gentle rubs over her womanly district. No doushinji wisdom could save me now. I could feel how damp her entrance was through her underwear. A distinct patch let off a unique scent, one I daresay was quite appealing to the primitive part of my brain.
"Go faster," Kurisu whispered.
"As you wish, my lady."
Her moans were beautiful. I could almost sense how badly she wanted me. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. The needy tone to her voice enticed me. She encouraged my hand closer to her, and I increased the pressure. Tired of listening to her commands alone, I grabbed hold of one of her hands, and I slowly replaced the other hand with my mouth. I kissed her through the fabric. Kurisu started to exclaim words of pleasure.
Which words, you may ask? It would not do much good to write them. The important thing is they all brimmed with a desire so strong I could tell she had lost her mind. It was the temptation that was torture. I knew better than anyone I had no idea what I was doing. We were pathetic virgins after all.
I lazily poked my tongue around her underwear to touch her skin. Kurisu let out a sound akin to fake sobbing. She maneuvered her legs so we could pull one section of her underwear free. She pulled my hair.
"Do what you were doing with your fingers," she said.
"Understood, ma'am."
I tried my best to muster the coordination, nevertheless, as her wetness covered my nose I couldn't resist the urges I had myself.
"I'm terribly sorry, my love, but I don't think I can resist you any longer."
Between strangled moans, the woman pointed to the corner of the room, where her handbag was sitting.
With a hurried interlude, I collected Kurisu's handbag and she rushed through at impressive speed. Surely enough she picked one of those small plastic monstrosities'.
"Will it fit?" she asked, holding it up.
"Only one way to find out."
I unbuckled my belt, and Kurisu sat up.
"Please let me."
She unraveled my belt and, as scared as I was, it was strangely relaxing to hear her unbutton and unzip my pants.
"What do I do?" she asked, blushing slightly.
I kissed her on the cheek. "Don't worry, dear. We can go through that another time. Would you like to swap places?"
"Erm….. that would probably be best."
I wasn't fool enough to assume that Kurisu would be able to endure sex comfortably if it was her first go. Hell, I'd be lucky if I didn't get overly excited and make an idiot of my brilliant self. I lay down, blushing as Kurisu slid off my pants. Gripping her fingers around the elastic band of my briefs, it took a gentle reminder of, "Hey, I won't judge you, remember?" before I let her remove them.
As though choosing her as Queen, I let her put the plastic monstrosity on, all the while very self-conscious of the fact she couldn't stop staring.
"Erm, I apologize if my anatomy is not up to your standard."
"Nah, that doesn't bother me." She gulped and an innocent fear filled her eyes. "I just hope it doesn't hurt."
She positioned herself over me, and lowered herself enough to just insert the tip. I tried to position everything properly with one of my free hands.
"There's no hurry," I said, forgetting some of my nerves by how accepting the girl was of me, "What's important is no one gets hurt."
Kurisu smiled and let out a deep breath "Ok. Thank you."
It took a good part of five minutes, moments of anxiety, mutters of "Ouch", "Ow" and "That doesn't feel right." before we discovered the most pleasurable position. Kurisu took in deep breaths. There was a hypnotizing flushed look on her face.
"How are you?" she asked.
"Never better… yourself?"
"I'm ready… almost."
I ran my hands over Kurisu 's gorgeous hips and backside, admiring her breasts covered by that bra. Kurisu slowly rocked back and forth, then up and down, and... somewhat diagnally. It took further adjusting and then we hit the right spot. I let out a moan I couldn't withhold and Kurisu followed. Well… I suppose it made sense from an evolutionary perspective that we would find similar movements enjoyable.
Her breathing got faster, as we gradually increased the speed. My eyes threatened to roll into my head and I suppressed a cackle. "My god, Kurisu, you've got a mighty good womanly weapon down there."
My love chuckled."Yep. All the more to induce embarrassing noises out of you."
"I will never submit to your cruel plans."
"Want a bet?"
Kisses… too many kisses… the scent of her sweat, the feel of her warmth covering me… the heat, oh god, the heat… the tables had turned in more ways than one. Kurisu breathing was heavy, but she was able to keep a level head. She whispered profanities in my ear, as if to ensure I didn't see the light of day. I am quite ashamed to admit I liked her dirty talk.
There is a reason why we are never supposed to imagine others making love to each other. It strips you naked of more than just your clothes. Your mind, your desires…. The dirtiest tricks, and most disgusting of sounds… these things are designed to be shared with someone who loves you, someone who will not judge you, and someone who is willing to uncover those secrets.
Kurisu was able to peel back my mad scientist façade to someone quite unskilled and unconventional. I noticed we had more in common than I realized. It seems we were on a similar wavelength when it came to these matters as well. Our moans got louder each time like some absurd sport. Limits and definitions erased from my vocabulary as I became more incomprehensible.
"Kurisu …" I groaned, "I can't take this. I don't… want it to stop."
"What if I want you to take it?"
"I-I don't want to."
"Pathetic."
"Why? You're so cruel."
"You're the one who's the mad scientist."
I held her close to me, as I simultaneously tried to pound myself into her, yet, there was only so far you can go.
"K- Kurisu," I choked, as I began to shake all over. I could tell this scared her, despite her act of the confident temptress.
"Okabe?" she asked uncertainly, so quiet I almost couldn't hear.
I dare not try describing the sounds that escaped my lips at that moment. It could have disturbed a neighbourhood. Kurisu held onto me, so tight I thought my bones might snap. Colours flashed past my closed eyelids as my orgasm lessened.
I collapsed in a rotten heap, like the deadest of corpses. My breathing was deep and slow. Kurisu lay down on top of me. I had a conviction her demands were not over, but she stayed there with me.
"I- I love you, Okabe," she said.
"And I, you, Kurisu." I sighed, "Thank you."