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IV was sitting in the living room window, watching the snowfall outside, with a mug of mulled wine that had long gone cold clutched in his hands. He wasn't pining. Pining was for the heroines in the romance novels II kept tucked away in the back of his closet. He was just... disappointed. Surely anyone would be disappointed in his situation. He had been looking forward to his first Christmas as a Vessel of sleep. He didn't really have any happy memories of holidays or anything else in his life before sleep. This was his time as a part of a family during the holidays. When he had pictured this moment III, being called away just days before Christmas was not what he had imagined. Vessel and II had done their best to cheer him up and fill the tall, skinny gap left in III's absence, but it wasn’t the same.
He scolded himself; he had put too much pressure on this being the perfect Christmas of his dreams. He wanted to enjoy it, but the idea of celebrating without such a (literally) large part of their little family missing felt wrong.
He had put on a brave face when Vessel told them all III was needed in London for some business relating to the band, but they had to know how much he had been looking forward to this Christmas. III had teased him over his visible disappointment over the lack of mistletoe at the tiny shop they trekked to for decorations. It was hard to pout when III promised they didn't need mistletoe as an excuse to kiss him. He hadn’t spoken much about his life before sleep, but he was certain they could tell he was far too enthusiastic about their Christmas plans for a man his age. He knew they didn't care for the holiday, that they never decorated for Christmas in previous years, but Vessel said Sleep did not care how they celebrated as long as he was at the center of their worship, so they indulged him.
They helped him decorate and plan; Vessel promised to play Christmas carols for him by the fire, and II had gone above and beyond helping him with decorating and baking Christmas cookies. It had been a lovely evening—an almost perfect Christmas Eve. But the mulled wine, music, and love he felt for Vessel and II were still not enough to dull the ache left by III's absence. He missed him—the way he would tease II for his awful attempt at decorating Christmas cookies, or his purposefully offkey singing along to carols to make them all laugh, or the way he would pull IV down next to him on the sofa and tuck him under his chin. III's absence was felt deeply, leaving a void that couldn't be filled by the festive atmosphere. Despite the joyful moments, there was a lingering sense of incompleteness without III's presence. The memories of their shared jokes and intimate moments only intensified IV's longing for his return.
They were a family—his family, which he'd found at long last. The place he belonged after years of being alone. He just wanted to celebrate something together with people who loved him, who he loved so fully and completely. He felt tears well in his eyes at the thought of waking up alone tomorrow. He had been so excited to give them all their gifts and to finally receive gifts of his own, but he would wake up alone tomorrow morning. His bed would be cold; there would be no long, slender arms holding him and no soft breathing against the side of his neck where III was sleeping soundly beside him. He could go and slip into bed with Vessel and II, but the thought of literally inserting himself there, where he was not explicitly invited, made him feel sick. He wanted III; he wanted his family whole and together.
Though he had tried to enjoy the day with Vessel and II, his melancholy had been obvious. He tried to hide it, but he could not help but mourn II’s absence. At last, he came away from the window and joined II on the sofa, where he was reading. He let the smaller man maneuver him so his head was in his lap. The moment was nice, almost picture-perfect, with Vessel playing carols on the piano and the warmth of the fire. But he missed his III and was mourning his perfectly planned Christmas. The thought of how perfect this would be with him here brought tears to his eyes. He shut them and tried to breathe evenly, but after a few moments, he realized Vessel had stopped playing and was kneeling beside the sofa next to him. He blinked up at him, and Vessel gently wiped his teary cheek with his thumb.
"What's wrong, little dove?” He asked gently.
IV's cheeks heated with shame. "I'm sorry,” he choked out, voice thick with emotion. “You must think I'm so ungrateful; I know you have tried to make this Christmas as wonderful as possible. I’m sorry.”
"Shhh, love," II shushed, his hands still combing softly through IV's hair. “We know how important Christmas is to you. What's wrong?”
IV sits up, eyes shut tightly, refusing to see the scorn when he admits how ungrateful he was, unwilling to witness how disappointed they were in him. "I miss III; everything feels empty without him here with us. I love you both so much, I promise I do. I don't know why I feel this way; I just wanted it to be perfect, all of us together celebrating.”
Vessel's expression softened as he cupped IV's face in his hands. "No, my love, don't apologize," he whispered. "I understand how much you miss him. Christmas can be bittersweet, but we'll get through it together."
"I'm sorry," IV whispers amidst sniffles.
Vessel places a soft kiss on his lips and pulls him in close. “You have nothing to apologize for.”
The three of them spend several hours curled up on the sofa in the warm glow of the fire and holiday lights, content as they can be without their missing member. Vessel reads some of his favorite poetry aloud from a weathered book, while II and IV rest comfortably next to him, their limbs entangled under a soft faded quilt. The faint sound of footsteps crunching in the snow diverts their attention. In an instant, IV jolts upright and nearly sprints to the door.
The sight of III and his tall, dark silhouette against the falling snow fills him with so much joy that he feels a bit dizzy with it. He can't help but run to him and fling his arms around his neck. “You're home!" IV exclaims, his voice filled with relief and excitement. The embrace is tight as if they were trying to make up for their time apart. III smiles warmly and returns the embrace.
“I'm sorry, Love. I tried to get home sooner. I know how important this whole Christmas thing is to you.” III whispers, his voice filled with sincerity.
IV pulls back slightly, looking into III's eyes. "It's okay," he says, a hint of tears in his voice. "All that matters is that you're here now, with us."
“I got you a little something, I thought our decorations could use one final touch,” III says with that grin IV loves so much. He pulls out a sprig of mistletoe and holds it above them. “Merry Christmas, my love."
IV kisses III deeply as if trying to express all his love and gratitude in one single kiss. When he senses more than just III's arms around him, he gently pulls away. Both II and Vessel appear delighted by the affectionate moment. "Hey, I'm next in line!" II exclaims, playfully squeezing between IV and III. In quick succession, he plants brief kisses on both their lips.
III extends his hand toward Vessel, drawing him in until they all stand beneath the mistletoe. IV is on the verge of tears, overwhelmed by a sense of warmth, safety, and long-awaited love as they shower him with kisses, whispering, "Merry Christmas, IV."