Chapter Text
“It’s so…flat,” Shayla frowned.
“It’s Texas,” Jake shrugged, not taking his eyes off the road. A winter storm had blown through, delaying their flight and making the roads icy in the weak early morning sun. As usual, the streets further away from the city hadn’t been treated, and he’d already hit a couple of patches of ice. He only hoped that it would be better closer to home, but then again, rural Texas wasn’t exactly a priority for road treatment.
“I still don’t see why we couldn’t have gone to the Bahamas or somewhere warm,” she pouted. His grip tightened on the steering wheel, unwilling to engage in the argument that they’d had for the last few weeks.
The engagement ring he’d bought sat on her left hand. It hadn’t been the one she wanted - he couldn’t justify spending $10K on a piece of jewelry, especially since they had a baby on the way - but still took a chunk out of his savings. Apparently, her followers had approved, even though Shayla had commented about it being the ‘starter ring.’
With a sigh, Shayla flipped down the visor and fixed her bangs before taking out her phone and checking the lighting. Apparently satisfied, she turned on the camera, starting to pose and make faces as she filmed before holding it higher and placing a hand on her stomach, ensuring her engagement ring was in the frame. “Say hi, babe,” she finally said, flipping the camera toward him. He glanced over, unable to muster a fake smile for her video. “Jake.”
“I’m concentrating,” he snapped.
Her constant filming had been a novelty when they'd first started dating. She’d been trying to launch a career as an influencer, sharing dating experiences while doing her makeup or documenting her daily life. He didn’t exactly get the appeal, but whatever. As they got more serious, she roped him into more of the videos - at first, just glimpses of them working out together or in the car, then making dinner and going out. After he set the firm boundary that she couldn’t film nights out at the Hard Deck with the Daggers, which was an argument in itself, she refused to go. Instead, she tried to drag him to other spots. Eventually, Shayla caught the attention she was craving, and her follower list grew. With it came products that cluttered up her apartment and offers to appear at restaurants around California.
The more her internet fame grew, the more Shayla pulled him into her videos. While drunk one night, she’d let it slip that her view rates skyrocketed when he made an appearance, and he tried not to read too much into it that she usually tried to have him half naked. Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin wasn’t shy by any stretch of the imagination and worked hard to keep his body in top physical shape. He knew he looked good, but the muscles were born from long hours working on the ranch and later maintained for his job.
For ten months, Jake had put up with it. A two-month deployment had prolonged the inevitable, but the final nail in the coffin had been the fact that Shayla barely seemed to care that he was gone until he was back and shoved a camera in his face while sobbing about how much she missed him. Back on land, he quickly scrolled through the videos she’d posted while he was at sea only to see that she’d screen-recorded their few calls and talked about how hard it was to be a military dependent. It was satisfying to see the military spouses in the comments tearing her apart about the fact that she wasn’t a dependent until she had a marriage license.
He’d already planned on breaking up with her as soon as he got home but felt bad about doing it when she’d already planned a couples’ costume and lined up sponsors for her video. Finding her making out with someone else in the bathroom at a Halloween party after they’d had a quickie in the truck helped bolster his case for ending the relationship.
Jake had thought that was the end until she showed up at the Hard Deck looking for him. When he’d brushed her off, she ambushed him at his apartment the next day and demanded to speak to him, throwing a positive pregnancy test in his face when he tried to close the door.
And with that, Jake knew he had to do the right thing. He would never abandon his kid, even if it meant trying to figure out how to fall in love with his now-fiancee.
Snow covered the fields as Jake drove under the arch, announcing they’d reached the Seresin ranch. Cows meandered, and he couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the calves with knitted ear muffs courtesy of his mother. As a kid, it had been his job to check that the calves hadn’t managed to knock them off overnight before going to school.
Since joining the Navy, Jake hadn’t spent as much time home as he should, according to his mother. Instead of returning to Texas, he took advantage of being able to travel cheaply on the military’s dime. So far, he’d made it to England, Italy, Spain, Morocco, Japan, and Korea. He sent souvenirs home to his parents, who weren’t quite sure what to make of their youngest.
Bill and Kerry, proud owners of the Seresin Dairy and Horse Ranch and prouder parents to Bill Junior - who constantly reminded the family that he went by Will now - and Jake, had done what they could to support their sons. Will took after his father and wanted nothing more than to take over the ranch when the time came. Jake had fallen in love with flying after going up in the neighbor’s crop duster when he was eight, and his head had never left the clouds. Whenever they went into town, Jake would beg to stop at Magnolia’s little library to get books on aviation. As he got older, he devoured the biographies of the Wright Brothers, Charles Lindberg, Amelia Earhart, and military aviators turned astronauts.
When the time came to apply for college, he drove his beat-up truck down to Lubbock, dressed in his Sunday best to meet with his congressional representative to request a nomination to the Naval Academy.
Two months after graduating high school, Jake’s family drove him to the airport and wished him good luck. Plebe summer took all of his attention, and he could barely think about life outside the Annapolis campus, let alone what was happening at home. Days were spent learning the proud Naval traditions, military terminology, and expectations between physical training. Nights were spent with the other plebes, trying to keep their eyes open long enough to study. His two-week break at home was spent catching up on sleep and answering questions the few times he ventured into town.
After his Third Class summer, it was harder to come home. Summers were spent at sea or sent to different bases. His Mama pushed for him to come home for the holidays, but between the flights and drive, it wasn’t always worth it. He started to spend time with his classmates whose families lived closer. Spring Break was spent at Myrtle Beach, relaxing in the freedom away from early morning classes and strict behavioral regulations.
Christmas was when his father put his foot down - that was for the family. Come hell or high water, he expected his sons to be home. Will had no problem with it. He’d met his wife, Allison, while studying animal science at Texas A&M. Once she finished training as a large animal veterinarian, he moved back to Magnolia. After graduating from the Academy, Jake found it harder. As a single guy, he felt terrible about taking time off from aviators with kids who wanted to spend the holiday with them. So he didn’t ask for leave and spent the holiday getting dinner at the mess and calling his family, trying to ignore the sadness and resignation in his mother’s voice.
Which is why this trip needed to be perfect. After six years away from home, Jake Seresin would finally make his parents happy and spend Christmas in Magnolia with a pregnant fiancee by his side. He owed it to his mother after putting her through so much disappointment.
A beat-up red truck was out in the field, moving slowly as the herd followed, and Will pitched hay off the bed. His hand curled on the steering wheel, the phantom feeling of a pitchfork and a hand on his shoulder sneaking over him. “ Steady, son .” His Pop’s voice echoed the words he’d said the first time Jake had taken over the job, nearly falling backward into the hay bales when Will hit a divot.
“So you actually, like, grew up on a farm?” Shayla asked, nose scrunching the the loud mooing.
“I told you I grew up on a ranch.”
“I thought it was horses or something.”
“We have those too.” An SUV was parked next to his Mama’s ancient truck in front of the house. Parking behind the truck, Jake took a moment to glance at himself in the rearview mirror. For all the reasons he imagined coming back to Magnolia, this hadn’t been one of them. Scrubbing a hand through his hair, he glanced over at Shayla, who studied the house.
From an outsider's perspective, it looked pretty impressive. His grandfather - whom Jake was named after - had built it for his grandmother after they inherited the ranch. He could remember sitting on the wrap-around porch with his grandmother, snapping green beans and shucking corn for supper, listening to stories about the cowboys that used to work on the ranch. Every other summer would find all the Seresin boys, regardless of their age, painting Granny’s house a new coat of white. The upper floor had a breezeway connecting two of the six bedrooms, which Jake had used pretty often when sneaking out of the house once they moved from the foreman quarters into the main house when Pops inherited.
Mama had decorated for Christmas. Garland was draped over the porch banisters, and lights and red ribbon wrapped around the posts. A wreath hung on the door, and lights hung from the roof. In every window, he could see the electric candles she would go room by room lighting. Of everyone in the family, she was the biggest fan of the holiday, lovingly bullying the men in her family to embrace the cheer.
“Damn,” Shayla said. “I’ll get some awesome Christmas footage here.” Pressing his lips into a thin line to keep any unkind words from escaping, Jake flung open his door and quickly circled the rental to help her out.
“Watch for ice,” he cautioned. A glimpse at her phone screen showed that she was already recording. “Could you put that away?”
“I want to catch the first time I meet your parents.”
“Shay.” Scoffing, she rolled her eyes and reluctantly stopped. “Thank you.”
“Whatever.” Gritting his teeth, he turned on his heel and walked towards the house, automatically jumping over the creaky second step. Jake hesitated a moment at the door before raising his fist and knocking twice, then twisting the knob. It turned easily in his hand, and he pushed it open. “You’re just walking in? What if they shoot you?” Choosing to ignore her, he stepped inside his childhood home.
The smell of coffee and cinnamon washed over him, and he knew the family would already be on the second pot at this time of the morning. Pops and Will would have taken most of the first with them into the barn and fields, with Mama finishing it and starting the next before her chores. After kicking off his shoes and glancing at Shay to ensure she did the same, he walked the familiar path to the kitchen.
Family pictures decorated the walls, and he let himself really look at them for the first time in ages. His grandparents stood proudly in front of the house, his parents' wedding photo. The first time he and Will were on a horse. Will and Ally’s wedding and his graduation from the Academy.
“Where is everyone?” Shay asked as they stepped into the large kitchen. Like much of the house, it was clearly older but lovingly maintained. The coffee pot gurgled on the counter, and Jake made a beeline for it, retrieving a mug from the cabinet above.
“Working somewhere. You want some?”
“No. Coffee’s not good for the baby.” Nodding, he poured himself a cup and tried not to think too hard about the coffee she’d demanded before getting on the plane in California. Spotting a tray of cinnamon rolls on the stove, he quickly retrieved a plate and cut one for himself. At his raised eyebrow, Shayla scrunched her nose and shook her head.
The roll was fluffy and soft as he bit into it, quickly followed by the rich caramel icing. He moaned, not remembering his Mama’s cinnamon rolls being this good. After polishing off his first, Jake was halfway through his second when he heard voices from the back patio. Quickly, he set the plate down and stood beside Shayla, who looked up from her phone and smirked as he ran a nervous hand through his hair.
“You’ve got some icing,” she said, brushing the corner of his mouth as the back door opened. After licking the sugar from her thumb, her hand rested on his chest before he could step back.
“Holy Mary, Mother of God - look what the cat dragged in!” his mother exclaimed. Jake turned to greet her but froze when his gaze landed on the woman standing behind her, a basket of eggs hanging limply from her hand. Her red-rimmed eyes widened as they darted between him and Shayla.
“Mama. Cece.”
Nine Years Ago
When Jake pictured his life imploding, he hadn’t imagined it so… quiet.
Cece sat beside him on the couch, gaze lowered as she fiddled with the engagement ring he’d slid onto her finger at his Academy graduation, dropping to one knee on the field and asking to be her husband before disappearing into flight school. The replacement for the class ring he’d put on her finger before he left her in Texas at 18 with a promise of forever.
He’d naively hoped that they could push off this conversation, give it some more time to figure out how to be with one another again. To set up their home in Virginia as he navigated being a Naval Aviator and she tried to find her footing in a new town. That they could go back to how easy it was before spending the last five years apart. “Jake,” she sighed.
“Don’t.” Resignation was etched in her features when her eyes met his, and he hated it.
“We - ”
“Please, Cece.” Her eyes closed, and she took a deep breath, lips pressing into a thin line as her chin wobbled.
“Are you happy?” she asked after a long time. “Be honest.”
“Yeah. I’m happy you’re here. That we’re finally together. Are you?”
“I… I don’t know.” Those three little words felt like a blow to the chest, and Jake inhaled sharply. “I just… this doesn’t feel…”
“Like before.” She nodded, and he deflated. “I know.” Relief flooded her face, and her shoulders sagged as though a huge weight had been lifted.
“I thought it was just me.”
“No, Cupcake. Not just you.” Tears flooded her eyes, and she gave him a watery smile. “It’s only been two months. We just need some time to figure out our new normal.”
“How much time are we supposed to give it?”
“I dunno. More than two months.”
“Three years?” Unable to meet her gaze, his eyes dropped to watch her twist the ring. “I think we can both admit that things have been hard for a while. And that we got used to being apart from each other.”
“We can get used to being together again.” At her silence, he reached out and caught her hand, gently tugging her across the couch. Reluctantly, Cece let herself be drawn closer and settled in his lap, knees digging into the cushions at his hips. His hands slid up her thighs to wrap around her waist. “I love you, Julie.”
Her name on his lips sounded so foreign. To everyone else, she was Julie. She’d only been Cupcake or Cece after making Jake a birthday treat in eighth grade, carefully packaging it in her lunch box to present him at school. Always seated next to each other in class, it had been hard to avoid the Seresin boy.
If she looked closely, Julie could still see traces of that farm boy she’d grown up with in the man she loved. There was still a mischievous glint in his green eyes and dimples that she took pride in making appear when he smiled. He was still awake at first light and a wicked tease.
But those glimpses were rare. Jake had told her that his first few years as a junior officer would be busy, but she hadn’t expected to see so little of him. She made an effort to get up with him before work and then settled in to job hunt or wedding plan while he was gone. After work, he either wanted to go to the bar with the other young pilots, or he was too tired to do more than shower, eat, and collapse into bed. Simply put, this hadn’t been the life Julie imagined while living alone in Austin for a year after graduating from the University of Texas, waiting for him to finish flight school. While her friends had moved on to careers, marriages, and grad school, she waited.
Just like she always had.
When Jake got into the Naval Academy, he’d explained that cadets couldn’t be married. And at 18, she wasn’t ready for that commitment. So instead, he’d put his class ring on her finger and promised they would get married as soon as he graduated. For four years, she’d worn the ring on a chain around her neck and tried to push away her jealousy, watching her friends spend time with boys and having fun in the clubs. A small part of her had always felt guilty when a man had pressed against her while dancing, his hands holding her tightly and asking her to come home. Every night she went home alone, she reminded herself that four years was nothing in the face of forever.
Their weeks together felt like stolen time - spring breaks in South Carolina, a few weeks during the summer, and Christmas in Magnolia. And just when the end was in sight, Jake came home for Christmas his last year of school and told her he’d been accepted into the pilot program. “It’s just another year and a half after graduation,” he’d explained. And when she asked where he’d be living, he couldn’t meet her eyes while explaining that he would be moving to different bases every few months, so it didn’t make sense for her to come with him.
“Cupcake?” Jake said softly, pulling her from her thoughts. He gently ran a knuckle along her jaw, paying particular attention to the scar on her chin, earned when she slipped on a patch of black ice and fell face-first into his truck junior year of high school. They’d spent a few hours in the emergency room, his bloody shirt pressed to her face until she got stitched up.
“If I said I wanted to get married today, what would you say?” Julie asked. Try as he might to hide it, she caught it - that brief flicker of panic in his eyes before it disappeared.
“What about the wedding?” It was his turn to catch the flash of irritation before her expression smoothed. The wedding had been a point of contention for a while - Jake knew that she wanted his input, but he’d never been interested in party planning before.
“I said married, not the wedding. Would you marry me today?” There was a moment’s hesitation before he nodded.
“Of course. I love you.” A sad look crossed her face before Julie cupped his cheek and gently kissed him.
“I love you too. And I always will. But I-I don’t know if that’s enough.” Jake pulled back.
“What?” he demanded, fingers digging into her hips, hit with the irrational fear that she would run if he let her go. Her glistening eyes met his for a moment before darting away.
“I love you so much,” she said softly. “And I have since you kissed me under the mistletoe at the winter formal. But I am so, so lonely.” Tears slipped down her cheeks as her voice broke, and he felt his heart fracture. “I moved here for you, to a place where I don’t know anyone and barely see you. And I sit in this house all day and think about my life in Texas, where I missed you, but I was happy. I had a life and friends, and I could see my daddy whenever I wanted. And I missed you, but missing you has been my normal since high school. I love you, and I have put my life on hold for almost six years because I love you. And I was happy to do that so you could chase your dream. B-but…I didn’t realize that I was giving up my life and my dreams because of a promise we made when we were 18.”
“Cece,” Jake breathed, tugging her closer as she started to sob, tears soaking his uniform's shoulder. “Tell me how to fix this.” At that, she cried harder, and he felt the numbing realization that there was nothing he could do.
Cece lifted her head from his shoulder when her tears faded into hiccups. His green eyes were reddened when she cupped his damp cheeks. The taste of salt and sadness merged when their lips brushed. “I’m sorry,” she breathed.
“Me too. I-I want you to be happy, baby.”
Which was why he didn’t fight her. He helped her pack up the car a week later, forced the engagement ring she tried to return back into her hand, and kissed her one last time. And then watched as she drove out of his life.
Then, Jake realized how hard it was to be the one left behind while the person you loved chased their dreams.