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Roy was exhausted. Being openly emotional in front of other people was always a draining experience, which is why he usually tried his best to downplay his feelings at work. He was going to need a lot of time alone to get past this... alone, crying, hating himself, crying some more... alone... yeah. Maybe eventually he'd totally run out of emotions and then things like this wouldn't happen in the future. In the meantime, he was spending any second of alone time staring at photos and wallowing in his depression.
Which is why the sympathetic noise Moss suddenly made next to him was the very last thing he needed. "Oh god..." Roy groaned.
“Women, eh?” Moss ventured, and already Roy was shaking his head. This exercise in empathy needed to be stopped before it got any worse. Moss, as usual, wasn’t taking the hint. “What are they? Who knows!” “Don’t do this…” “Can’t live with them… can’t find them, sometimes. What’s going on in their little heads? Don’t ask me! I’m not a ...flippin’ women psychiatrist! But I have learned one or two things…” Moss sat down on Roy’s desk exactly like a concerned teacher “...from conversations with my mother.”
This was completely terrible. Things were already weird with Moss, what with that kissing incident last year and Douglas implying they were a couple and Moss implying they were a couple… this wasn’t the time to have to worry about a new layer of awkwardness in the big awkward cake that was their relationship.
“No… no, Moss, please. Don’t go any further. Just stop right there. You’re no good at this kind of thing, Moss! You’ll just make it worse.”
Moss retreated back to his own desk but kept his eyes on Roy. “Sorry. It’s just, I’ve never seen you like this.”
Now Roy was torn between wallowing in his own depression and trying to cheer Moss up. Typical, but he couldn’t help feeling slightly protective of Moss. No one could, really, and Roy was his best friend. “I know,” he said gently. “But I’ll be fine, I will, it’s just… you can’t help with this. You just can’t.” Partly because you’re completely out of your depth, but also partly because… ah, probably best not to finish that thought. Try to only stress about one relationship at a time.
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It was difficult listening to him go on like this. Moss had managed to survive the four months the relationship had actually been going on, and that was painful enough - he had actually started to worry it wouldn’t end this time and Roy would end up getting married and moving to Hampshire and forgetting all about him. But now that it was over… this was much worse. Roy was miserable, and there was nothing Moss could do about it. Unless his plan worked, but he was starting to have some doubts.
He tried to quell his anxiety by focusing on the game, and it almost worked, except that every time Roy started whimpering again he was back to square one. But the mini-breakdowns were happening with less and less frequency now. Maybe he wouldn’t need to use his plan after all? Jen had certainly expressed some doubts when he’d told her about it. But no, he needed to go through with it. He wasn’t going to just let this go until he was sure Roy was going to be okay.
He glanced across the table at his best friend. Roy seemed ...shaky, but he was smiling. Moss smiled faintly back at him. Time to be a good friend and put this plan into action.
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What the fuck did Moss think he was doing? Just when Roy was starting to feel the tiniest bit better, he had to go and pull something ridiculous like this. He tried to stop him, but Moss had insisted he “just go with it.” And what choice did he have, really? He knew Moss was doing all he could to make him feel better. It was touching, if a bit embarrassing, and awkward, and painful, and…
...And now he was spilling his guts to a room full of men he barely knew, though to be honest he was only vaguely aware of their presence at this point. This was just between him and Queen Elisa… and Moss, he admitted. This was Moss’s problem too, or at least he’d made it his problem.
“It was not easy for me to come here, Darkharden. But I had one thing I felt I needed to say to you.” There was a long pause where they just stared at each other. Roy had been friends with Moss since college and they’d never made this much eye contact before. It wasn’t as uncomfortable as it should have been, really.
“...Goodbye,” Moss said finally, and Roy broke down sobbing for probably the twentieth time that day.
“Goodbye…” Roy said back. They could break eye contact now. Queen Elisa was gone. It was just him and Moss now. Well, aside from the three weeping men sitting on either side of the table.
Somehow, though, he really did feel an immense weight lift off him. He’d said goodbye, finally. It was over. He was going to survive. Thanks to Moss. As the game was finishing up, Roy found himself looking across the table at his friend a lot. He really was sort of an incredible person, Moss. And it was nice to know that no matter how difficult he was to be around, Moss would still be there for him. He felt a little bad about shutting him down earlier. He should probably invite him over for a movie night or something to say sorry/thank you. He hadn’t slept over in a while. It’d be nice.
Maybe they were a bit like a couple. He wasn’t even sure what had bothered him so much about the kissing thing, actually. Moss wasn’t the worst person in the world to be kissed by, even if he was pretty awful at it. At the time Moss had tried to talk to him about it, but Roy had shut him down then, too. There were probably a lot of things he’d been putting off talking about with Moss. They definitely needed a movie night.
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“Hey, Moss?”
Moss turned to look Roy in the eye, but quickly found that too difficult to maintain, so he ended up sort of vaguely looking at his ear. “Yes?”
They were still by the table they’d been playing at, but Phil, the two Johns, and Jen had all gone upstairs. Moss was sort of half-sitting, half-leaning on the table and Roy came over and sat-leaned next to him. Their hands rested between them, centimeters away from each other. “I just wanted to say… thanks. That was really sweet of you.”
“Don’t mention it, Roy. I was just worried about you.”
“Yeah well… still. Thanks. And em… I’m sorry for being such an arse before. I know you were just trying to help.”
“Don’t mention it.” Didn’t I already say that?
“And… Moss…”
“Yeah?”
“I’m really glad you’re here.”
Moss wasn’t sure what to say to that. “I don’t often miss work, Roy. I’m here most days. Except the weekend, of course. And Christmas.”
Roy laughed a little at that even though Moss wasn’t sure if he’d meant it to be funny or not. “No, I mean… I’m glad you’re my best friend. Couldn’t ask for a better one.” He grinned at him.
Moss noticed their hands were actually touching now, just slightly. He leaned over and kissed Roy lightly on the cheek. “Don’t mention it,” he said again. He couldn’t remember how to say anything else. He kissed Roy’s cheek a second time. The third time Roy must have turned his head because he accidentally got him on the lips and Roy laughed.
“Sorry,” Moss muttered.
“That’s not the first time we’ve kissed.” Roy smirked at him.
“I think you’ll find I’ve been the only one doing any kissing around here,” Moss replied. “In fact I’ll be honest here, this relationship has been pretty one-sided in terms of physical affection. We, indeed.”
Roy hesitated a second, then gave Moss a small hurried kiss. “Wanna come over tonight and have a Back to the Future marathon?” he said quickly.
This day just got better and better. “Of course."