Work Text:
Yuuji kept running even if everything in his body was telling him to stop. Blood covered rubble surrounded the area as he kept going, scanning his surroundings.
The way things had gone down definitely couldn’t be considered a win, but it wasn’t so bad either because they finally got to breathe a sigh of relief. The culling game was over and most of his friends were still by his side, even if their teacher wasn’t. Yuuji has learned to consider that enough and be grateful.
Still, he felt… unsatisfied, like something was missing. And it was pretty frustrating.
He noticed he was clenching his fists so hard his knuckles had turned white and he quickly unclenched them, remembering Choso’s eyes on him earlier; he was always the first to notice Yuuji’s state and whenever he checked on him it weirdly had a calming aura.
The boy finally stopped running as he reached a building that was still half intact and leaned over it, trying to regain his breath.
The others had tried to stop him when he said he had something that needed to be done and started walking away, insisting that it wasn’t wise to part ways even if the battle was over, but when he mentioned Megumi no one could utter another word. So he went.
To be honest, Yuuji didn’t really know what he was looking for. From what they knew, Sukuna was still using Megumi as a vessel and he was currently missing after nobody had been able to defeat him. That didn’t stop Yuuji though, because he’s determined and stubborn and terrified of the void he’d fall in if he ever gave up hope.
Which is why he intended to keep running.
He took one final breath, looking around to decide which area to explore next when a sudden noise caught his attention. Someone was getting closer from around the corner of the building and their steps sounded pretty heavy. Yuuji held his breath and clenched his fists again. Anything, please, anything at all.
But then, the stranger turned the corner and he was not so much of a stranger anymore.
Sukuna looked calm, his guard down as two of his arms were busy carrying something. Or more precisely, someone.
He was carrying Megumi.
Yuuji’s eyes widened as he zeroed in on his friend’s body being cradled oh so gently by the King of curses. He was bloody and unconscious, but he was still breathing. Sukuna wordlessly placed him on the ground at his feet and stood back up.
“What the hell?” is all Yuuji was able to mutter under his breath.
“I had Uraume find me a civilian that was still alive and used him as my new vessel” he explained, distaste for his own decision clear in his voice. Yuuji looked down to see that Megumi’s pinky was missing. Great, now we match, he thought, and maybe he was losing his mind a little bit.
“Why?” he asked as deathly silence surrounded them. Yuuji was sure he’d never set foot in Shinjuku ever again.
“I’m gonna miss inhabiting Fushiguro Megumi” Sukuna hummed, pointedly ignoring Yuuji’s question. “Tell him that for me, will you?” he grinned.
Yuuji wanted to spit in his face, but he couldn’t, he just couldn’t, because his friend’s body was laying safely in front of him, and Sukuna had his guard down, and those eyes he had stared countless times in still looked the same even if they were blue and no longer crimson red.
“Please just tell me why” Yuuji tried again, “you owe me that much.”
Sukuna’s eyes narrowed, like he was thinking I don’t owe you or anyone shit, but then they softened. Slightly, but they did. “Love is sacrifice, isn’t it? You’ve been screaming in my ears about it since we met so shouldn’t you understand already?”
Yuuji briefly looked down and then back up at Sukuna. He gave Megumi up for me, so I wouldn’t suffer.
Sukuna barely gave Yuuji the time to process that fact as he continued speaking. “At first I really couldn’t stand you, brat. So much strength and so little awareness. I thought your big heart only caused you more pain and, well, I still do” he glanced down at Megumi. “I don’t care about justifying the way I live, I still think it’s right. But you showed me so many new things I’ve never considered before. I never told you, but what you felt I felt just as strongly. You were as lonely as I was despite under very different circumstances, but the love you have in your heart was a cure for it and I don’t like being the one who takes that away from you. So I give your friend back.” Here’s what I owe you, Yuuji heard even if Sukuna hadn’t said it.
“Humans are so familiar with fear and guilt it makes them weak and boring, but I’ve had the chance to notice how their fragility is also what makes them able to feel quite beautiful things. And you showed them to me” Sukuna concluded. “So thank you, Itadori Yuuji.”
Thank you for making it interesting.
That was the first time he’d called Yuuji by his name.
“Sukuna…” the boy muttered, unable to put together anything more than that.
“Ryomen” the curse added like they were introducing themselves for the first time.
“Ryomen” Yuuji dumbly repeated.
“Sounds nice when you say it” Sukuna considered way too casually, then took a few steps back like someone who wants to work his way around a painful goodbye.
“Live a long life, Itadori Yuuji.”
Those familiar words struck him and he blinked, then uselessly extended his hand in front of him. “Wait…!”
But then there was a noise at his feet and he looked down to find out that Megumi was waking up; when he looked back up, Sukuna was gone.
He quickly dropped to his knees to assist his friend, who was fully awake and trying to sit up.
“Fushiguro! How are you feeling?!” he exclaimed, gently holding him up by the shoulders. A stupid question given the circumstances, but he asked anyway.
“I’m fine” the dark haired guy replied. “What happened?”
“Sukuna freed you from his control and brought you to me” was the brief explanation Yuuji managed to blurt out and he couldn’t blame Megumi for looking utterly, completely, absolutely incredulous.
“I’m so very glad you’re okay” Yuuji’s voice trembled and he felt his eyes fill up with tears, so Megumi opened his arms for him by instinct.
He cried into his friend’s shirt and Megumi sensed they were tears of relief as much as they were tears of a broken heart for something else.
—
A few months passed silently, too silently.
Yuuji thought of all the times he begged for peace and silence, and when he finally got it he couldn’t stand it. Life is funny like that.
It was the middle of the night and the moon was letting her light peek into Yuuji’s room, stretching along the ceiling like a brush stroke of a pearly white paint. The bad taste in his mouth never really left; he’d actually gotten familiar with it and understood the feeling enough to call it emptiness instead of dissatisfaction.
He felt empty empty empty and he couldn’t even look at himself in the mirror and he couldn’t fucking sleep.
Crimson red replaced pearly white when he got up and pushed his feet into his worn out sneakers, headed to a place that could make him feel a bit less out of place than his dorm room.
He stared at the view before him and blinked, like he’d sleepwalked there and just woke up. He sighed and walked across the roof. It’s been rebuild since the night that curse destroyed half of it. That night where the boy who at the time was a new friend looked at him with horror in his eyes as a new host made space for himself in Yuuji’s body.
His old school looked pretty much the same other than that. He doesn’t really remember it, like he doesn’t really remember anything before that literal life changing night. It’s almost like his life before Sukuna is blurred and doesn’t really exist anymore. Or, it won’t once Yuuji stops thinking about it, which is why he clings desperately to the memories.
You’re strong, so help others.
Quiet steps coming from behind him pulled Yuuji away from his thoughts and he quickly turned around, already wondering what explanation to give when he inevitably gets arrested for trespassing.
There was a pretty ordinary looking guy walking towards him with his hands buried in his pockets and he lifted them up as soon as he noticed Yuuji’s panicked state. He looked just as surprised to see him.
“Calm down, I’m wandering around just like you. I’m not gonna tell anyone” he reassured.
Yuuji couldn’t really make his face out in the dark but he was pretty sure he was smirking.
“Okay” he sighed and sat back as he was before. “You know, your voice reminds me of someone I used to know” he muttered with a sad smile on his face.
The guy reached the edge of the roof and plopped down next to Yuuji. “Was it someone you liked?” he inspected.
Yuuji kept his gaze straight ahead. The night sky looked so deep and dark, but comforting in a way. He’d been finding comfort in the most unexpected of places though, so he didn’t dwell on it. “The me from the last time I was on this roof would think I’m crazy for saying it, but yes” he answered.
Yuuji heard the guy snicker like he agreed. “Are you here because you’re waiting for them?” he asked.
Yuuji considered those words for a while, the silence between them stretched in a pleasant way that felt so familiar it made something in Yuuji’s chest ache. “I don’t know” he finally settled on. “I’m just here because it feels like I’m closer to him.“
The man placed his hands on the ground behind him and leaned back, taking his time to speak as well. “I’m here because of someone too” he admitted after a while, “I come here every night to see if he’ll show up one day.”
“Oh” Yuuji said. “I hope he does”
“Hm, me too” the guy agreed, a mix of fondness and amusement in his tone.
“I’ll leave if he shows up so you can have your privacy” Yuuji politely announced; after all no matter how intensely he stared into the night, it wouldn’t have made Sukuna magically appear in front of him so there was no point in him staying.
“Don’t worry” the man chuckled, “he’s a little stupid.”
Yuuji’s eyebrows shot up. “Huh?! What’s that supposed to even mean?” he exclaimed, laughing a bit under his breath. “Do you even like this dude at all?”
Another hushed chuckle came from Yuuji’s left. “Don’t tell him I said that, but I do.”
Yuuji just shook his head at the bizzarre turn the conversation was taking. He was starting to suspect that maybe the guy was simply fucking with him because he was bored.
“The person you wait for…” he started again. “Is he handsome?”
Yuuji was left dumbfounded for a second time and he finally turned to face the man, feeling a blush creep up his face and neck. “What kind of quest–“
He cut himself off when a good look at the guy’s face made him notice a very familiar second set of eyes staring at him with pure entertainment in them.
“Sukuna?!” he exclaimed, mouth and eyes widening. “What the hell? Fuck you!” he squeaked, playfully shoving him before he could stop himself.
But Sukuna simply laughed, loud and careless. His laugh echoed into the night that stretched before them and Yuuji could swear it almost sounded happy. He found himself laughing too and the sounds intertwined and molded together like and old song Yuuji hasn’t heard since the day he lost his pinky.
“You’re an easy target, Itadori Yuuji” Sukuna stated as his laugh died down, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye.
Yuuji felt heat on his cheeks once again. “You don’t have to call me by my full name all the time, you know” he mumbled.
“What, you liked brat better?” Sukuna teased, sporting his signature wicked grin.
Yuuji pouted. Everything in him screamed yes. “No” he deadpanned.
“Alright then, brat it is” Sukuna shrugged, because of course he would’ve done that.
Yuuji rolled his eyes. “Can you switch to literally anything else other than this random guy?” He attempted at a request. “It reminds me that you’re technically still holding someone hostage…”
“Here he goes ruining the vibe” Sukuna sighed.
“…plus, it’s weird” Yuuji quietly added.
Sukuna blinked. Oh.
“Close your eyes” he mumbled, gesturing vaguely at Yuuji’s face.
“Huh? Why?”
“Just do it, brat!”
“Alright, alright” Yuuji finally complied, making a point of looking exaggeratedly offended.
A few seconds passed and then Sukuna spoke again. “Open them”
Yuuji did, and he was met by a face that’s so identical but so different from his at the same time.
“Better?”
Yuuji smiled. “Better.”
He wanted to ask if that had become Sukuna’s favorite form or if he just chose it for Yuuji. He realized both options would have made him happy.
“Why did you come here tonight?” Sukuna asked and it looked like it took some courage to get the words out. It’s funny how he’ll do all sorts of despicable things but then struggle to demand an answer to something he wants to know because it concerns his feelings. It was very human of him.
“I usually sleep after a few hours of staring at the ceiling, but tonight I just couldn’t fall asleep” Yuuji explained.
Sukuna took his time to savor that answer. “Sucks to be you” he then commented with his usual tact, which was zero.
“How did you know I’d come here eventually?”
Sukuna turned to look at him and Yuuji realized no answer was needed. Of course he knew.
“I thought I’d feel better once you parted from me” Yuuji started, determined on holding Sukuna’s gaze as he spoke. “Like a wound that can finally start to heal once you stop picking at it. But instead it just feels like I’m missing a piece and I will never find myself without it. I’ve tried being patient, but it doesn’t get better.”
Sukuna noted it was the first time ever that he’d found himself at loss for words.
Yuuji didn’t know what to do with his hands, so he dropped them in his lap. He squeezed the fabric of his pants between his fingers. There was a lump in his throat and he just wanted to sob in his mother’s arms.
He blinked some tears away and when he turned his gaze up the moon was looking down at him, so pale and gentle. Motherly, almost. The moon never judges your honesty, that’s why people spill their secrets at night.
“What would you say…” Yuuji looked back down and found that Sukuna hadn’t moved his eyes away from him. “If I asked you to come back to me?”
There were a few beats of complete silence and Yuuji realized he’d phrased it a bit weird. “I–I mean!” he stuttered, blushing furiously, “if, hypothetically speaking, you were to use me as a vessel again instead of this poor guy, would you– would that be a good–“
“Yes.”
It was so quick, so resolute it made Yuuji’s head swim.
“…Huh?” Yuuji blurted out and it was probably the millionth time he’d said it since they started talking, but he couldn’t help it.
“I said yes” Sukuna repeated, not a single hint of indecision in his voice.
“B–but how can you say yes? I can easily take back control of the body unlike other people, I’m too weak, too sensitive, too stubborn, too annoying–“
“You are none of those things” Sukuna cut him off. “Or, actually, maybe you are, but I no longer mind it. I already told you, Yuuji: I have a lot to thank you for.”
It was Yuuji’s turn to be left speechless. He wondered if maybe he had fell off the roof a while ago and he was currently on the ground with his skull cracked open, and that was all just a vision.
Sukuna’s eyebrows furrowed almost imperceptibly, like he was focusing on a task. And then something slowly appeared on his features, more precisely across his face and on the corner of his mouth.
Yuuji’s most recent scars.
“Parts of us were made by each other” he said, “and you will forever be a part of me. You can’t split something in two and expect the halves to feel whole.”
Yuuji turned around completely and crossed his legs, fully facing Sukuna. He reached forward without thinking and his fingers ghosted over the corner of his mouth.
Sukuna let him.
“I’m sorry, I’m not sure I heard that right. It sounded like you just said the most romantic shit I’ve ever heard” Yuuji huffed out an incredulous laugh.
“Don’t make me repeat myself, brat” the corners of Sukuna’s mouth quirked up against Yuuji’s touch.
“You really think we’re two halves of a whole?”
“You don’t?”
“I don’t know anything” Yuuji said as a general statement, “but I know I stopped feeling complete when you left.”
Sukuna looked down and started absently fiddling with one of Yuuji’s shoelaces. “I know you like the back of my hand. I have seen your hopes and dreams and I know you want to help others and do good, and to share your life with someone”
Yuuji tilted his head to the side, not getting the point Sukuna was trying to make.
“If you walk away from here with markings under your eyes again, you won’t be able to have any of that” Sukuna spelled it out for him, sounding almost desperate for Yuuji to understand.
“You’re being dramatic” he sighed.
“Do you want a pending death sentence again? Do you want to drive people away when they eventually see me manifest on your face? I’m not going to be nice and quiet, you know”
“I don’t want you to be.”
Sukuna scoffed. “Do you seriously miss those days? This is your second chance” he insisted, and it almost sounded like I gave you this second chance to see if you would come back to me. “And you’re about to throw it away”
Yuuji tentatively brushed his fingers against Sukuna’s cheek, tracing the thick black line of his tattoo. Sukuna closed his eyes and felt Yuuji’s hand travel down his neck and then back up, scratching the back of his head and then burying itself in soft peach colored hair, a mirror image of his except for the way they were constantly styled back. Yuuji’s own hair had started spiking up in all directions after Shibuya, so he guessed they were more similar than they used to. Parts of us were made by each other.
That made Sukuna remember about the time he had addressed Yuuji by calling him strawberry milk. He had meant it as an insult, but it frustratingly made Yuuji blush. “I missed your hair when my appearance was different” he admitted in a whisper.
Yuuji sighed and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Sukuna, come back to me. I really want you to.”
Sukuna cracked one eye open to glare at Yuuji. “You’re about to give me a stupid, poetic explanation for it, I just know it”
Yuuji smiled wide. “I think it’s meant to be.”
Sukuna rolled his eyes, all four of them. “I thought you were all about setting your own destiny, brat” he remarked like he never really grew out of the role of being Yuuji’s voice of reason.
“I know” he shrugged, “I still am. But it’s nice to surrender and pretend that life is in control sometimes. That not everything is in our hands” he looked up at the sky and briefly wondered if his grandpa would recognize him, if he saw him now. “That it was already written for us.”
And we just have to play the part.
Sukuna bumped his knee against Yuuji’s and realized that level of closeness would’ve never been enough for them.
“I guess it is.”