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The immediate warmth was the first thing Naruto noticed when he walked through the door. It felt like being enveloped in a big, cozy blanket after walking through a seemingly endless snowstorm. Which was a fair comparison in Naruto’s opinion, considering that was pretty much exactly what had happened.
They were on their way back from a simple escort mission. Nothing too complicated but it had been nice to get out of the village again for a while. That was, at least, until earlier that day, when the wind had suddenly picked up and the snowfall had turned heavier. Luckily, it hadn’t taken them too long to locate the inn they had just entered. Still, it had been long enough for Naruto to be chilled to the bone.
So given all this, Naruto felt he was completely justified in letting out a loud, cheerful whoop while pumping his fist in the air. His teammates, however, seemed to disagree.
Sasuke just tsked and pushed past him. Sakura on the other hand decided to make her annoyance with Naruto known by punching him in the arm (very hard, he would like to add).
Before she could start yelling at him for it though, Kakashi had already turned around and was now giving them a stern look. “Keep it down. It’s late, we don’t want to disturb the other guests here.”
Naruto just nodded, just slightly disgruntled at not being allowed to express his joy. But it didn’t take long for him to get distracted anyway. Now that the warmth was slowly setting in, he could focus on the actual inn. And if the first thing he noticed had been the warmth, then the second thing was the general condition the inn appeared to be in.
The wooden walls were crooked and looked like they were leaning on each other for stability rather than standing on their own. As if they were about to fall at any second. The light hanging from the ceiling kept flickering and casting long shadows across the floor.
The ceiling itself was very low and almost seemed to be caving in, giving the room a somewhat claustrophobic feel. And yet at the same time, standing here by himself while the rest of his team had wandered off - Kakashi to the front desk to get their rooms and Sasuke and Sakura to a small arrangement of chairs to sit down - Naruto still couldn’t help but be reminded of a very specific day in his childhood.
He had been out in the forest the entire day and somehow gotten lost on his way back. At the age of 6, panic had started to seize him and he still remembered the feeling he had had deep in his chest. Af if his every move was being watched. The same feeling that was creeping up in him now.
Hurriedly, he shook his head to chase away the memories and quickly walked over to his two teammates. He let himself practically fall onto one of the chairs across from them and sighed.
“This place is kinda creepy, I don’t really wanna stay here. Can we tell sensei that we want to keep going until we find something else?”, he asked, hoping that they would back him up.
Sasuke, however, just looked at him like he was stupid, and Sakura loudly sighed and rolled her eyes. “Keep going? Naruto, were you not just out there with us? You can go back into the snowstorm if you’d like, but I’m staying here. Seriously, use your head for once.”
Very actively deciding not to take offense to that last part, Naruto opened his mouth to retort, but got interrupted by Kakashi joining them with three keys in his hands. “I got us rooms. Sasuke, Naruto, you will be sharing a room.”
“What? Again? But Sensei-”
“Now what did I say earlier about being too loud, Naruto?”, Kakashi reprimanded him, before he gave Sasuke and Sakura each a key. “Well, I’m ready to head to bed. You guys should too. We will see tomorrow if the weather has settled enough to continue. Good night.”
And with that he was gone. Naruto huffed and followed Sasuke who was already on his way to their room. Sakura found hers right at the beginning of the dimly lit corridor and said good night (of course to Sasuke only) before closing her door.
The asshole, as usual, just ignored her and continued to a room further down the hallway. Once they had reached it, he opened the door and walked in. Naruto followed after him and noticed right away how small it was. There was hardly any room for anything other than the bed. And the most important thing was without a doubt exactly that bed. Bed, singular.
“Wait, wait, wait, are we seriously supposed to share that ?”, he exclaimed. Looking over, he was glad to see that Sasuke was clearly just as unhappy about this as him.
Now, this wasn’t the first time they had to share a bed. Their sensei was generally a cheapskate and always made them share a room. More often than not, there was only one bed.
Usually though, it was a double bed. This one most definitely wasn’t.
After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, Sasuke just sighed out a “Whatever.” and left through the second door that presumably led to the bathroom. When he came back out, he had gotten changed into more comfortable clothes and without another word, he moved towards the bed.
Naruto took that as his cue to follow his example and got changed in the bathroom. When he emerged again, Sasuke had already turned off all the lights.
Slowly, so as to not walk into one of their backpacks or stumble over the carpet on the floor, he made his way over to the right side of the bed. Sasuke just turned his back on him the moment he lay down.
There was no sound other than the creaking of the old wood for a while and suddenly, Naruto was starting to feel uncomfortable. It seemed ridiculous to even himself. There was nothing that indicated any danger. And yet one memory that had reappeaerd at the wrong time and he was freaking out.
“It’s just a really run down place.”
Naruto startled and whipped his head around, just to still be faced with Sasuke’s back. Truth be told, he had been sure that the other boy was asleep, but evidently that wasn’t true.
“It’s an old building”, Sasuke continued without moving, “And the people here like staring. Most old people do. That’s why you feel like it’s creepy.”
After that, he fell silent again. Naruto, who hadn’t expected this at all, had no idea how to reply so he just didn’t. His teammate’s - friend’s, a part of his brain supplied, but he pushed it down immediately - words did however calm him down a little and he managed to relax a bit more.
Well, that had not been a good idea, he realized only a few seconds later. Because to him, relaxing meant spreading out a bit more. Consequently, he accidentally hit Sasuke in the back and almost pushed him off the bed.
Sasuke, in retaliation, decided not to waste any more words on him and did push him off. Naruto landed with a loud thud. By the time he had sat back up, Sasuke had already claimed the entire bed for himself, leaving absolutely no space.
Naruto made a few angry sputtering sounds and very much intended to yell at the other boy, when something soft hit him in the face and fell down into his lap. One of the pillows. Right after, a blanket followed.
“You can sleep on the floor, loser. And remember, keep it down.” Sasuke shot him a smug look after repeating Kakashi’s words and then turned back over, clearly signaling that he was not going to discuss this anymore and was going to sleep now.
Annoyed, but having accepted his fate, Naruto settled down on the floor and pulled the blanket over him. At least there was a carpet that would make the night a bit more comfortable, he thought to himself as he closed his eyes.
When he opened them again, he was not lying on the floor of the inn anymore. In fact, he wasn’t lying down at all.
Instead, he was standing in a clearing in a forest all by himself. The trees seemed abnormally tall and were leaning into each other, completely obscuring the view of the sky. But judging by how dark it was, it must be night.
A shiver ran down Naruto’s entire body when he suddenly realized that he wasn’t alone. There were eyes, barely visible through bushes. So many eyes, all trained on him. Watching him.
For just a moment he was frozen to the spot. Then, a loud crack sounded right behind him and without thinking for just one more second, he started running. All his ninja training was forgotten, running was his only option. He had no idea where he was going, he just knew that he needed to get away. That whatever was behind him had no purpose other than to hurt him.
He just kept running and running. Twigs got caught in his clothes and ripped open his skin. Even when his lungs were screaming for air and his legs started shaking from exhaustion, he just kept going.
Because he’d been here before. Running from people. People who wanted to hurt him. He knew this game. Had played it too many times in his young life. In the very village that was meant to be his home. That was meant to be safe.
So he didn’t stop, didn’t even look back. Until his foot caught on a stone and he tumbled to the ground. His speed and the force of his fall sent him sliding before he came to a stop. Heavy footsteps stopped right behind him and he could hear distant voices laughing.
A hand landed on his shoulder and he squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation. The hand forcefully turned him around but when nothing happened after a few moments, he hesitantly opened his eyes.
It was completely dark around him, but he could feel the carpet underneath his fingers and hear Sasuke’s even breathing to his right. He was back in the inn. He was awake again.
A relieved sigh left his mouth and he closed his eyes again. But he knew sleep would not come again for at least a few more hours. Not after the nightmare he had just had. A distorted memory, really.
He wished he could say he felt better now that he was awake again and knew it had just been a nightmare. But the truth was, even with Sasuke lying only a few feet away from him, he felt completely and utterly alone.
After a few more minutes of letting his thoughts run wild and worsening his mood, he came to a decision. Grabbing his pillow and blanket, he slowly and quietly got up and carefully maneuvered his way back into the bed. It surprised even him how he managed to move Sasuke to the side to make enough space for himself, but he wasn’t going to question it.
When he had settled down, Naruto let out a quiet breath and stared at Sasuke’s back that was still turned towards him. Tracing his outline in the darkness with his eyes, he kept telling himself that he wasn't truly alone. Sasuke was with him.
And yet, despite all of this, it made him feel only a little better. The loneliness still remained, and a part of Naruto was scared that that’s how it would always be. Maybe this was just what his life was destined to be.
Maybe he was just destined to be alone forever.
********************************
Slowly pushing open the door, Naruto flinches when it makes a loud creaking sound that echoes through the otherwise completely silent house. It’s late and he really doesn’t want to wake Sasuke up.
So, as quietly as possible, he closes the door again and walks over to the closet to get out some clean clothes. No matter how tired he is, he just got back from a long mission and his clothes are dirty and most definitely smell. He can’t get into bed like this. If not for his own sake, then for Sasuke’s.
After putting on one of Sasuke’s shirts that he frequently steals, as well as some sweatpants, Naruto finally crawls into bed. He doesn’t waste any more time before pulling the blanket over himself and turning over to face his boyfriend.
Boyfriend. The thought of Sasuke actually being his boyfriend still never fails to make him smile like a fool. After so many years of chasing after him and thinking he might never get him back, Sasuke is truly his.
Some days, it still feels a bit surreal to Naruto. He remembers all too well the days in his childhood when he didn’t have anyone to rely on. When a part of him was convinced that he’d always be alone and nobody would ever love him. And yet here he was, with the guy he had loved for years lying right next to him.
Before he can stop himself, Naruto reaches out and softly grazes his hand over Sasuke’s cheek. His hair, which usually covers his left eye, is instead falling down onto the pillow right now, giving Naruto a perfect view of his beautiful face. With his mouth slightly open and eyes softly shut, Sasuke looks so incredibly peaceful. It fills Naruto’s heart with warmth to know that after all these years, Sasuke finally feels happy and safe enough to completely relax like this again.
It takes Naruto a few more seconds before he can bring himself to pull his hand back. After taking one last look at Sasuke, he closes his eyes and relaxes deeper into the bed. He knows sleep should not take long to come after the day he’s had.
A loud scream rips Naruto from his relaxed state and he shoots up. He immediately surveys his area to find the source of the sound, when he suddenly feels a hand roughly grab him and shove him down. It makes him fall back to the ground, coughing hard from the impact. Before he has any time to recover, then hand grabs his neck and pushes his face into the dirty ground, while a heavy weight that feels distinctly like a knee settles on his back.
Naruto can feel his entire body freeze, unable to move a single muscle, as a realization hits him. The person pinning him down is so much bigger than him. But not because they are unusually tall. No, it’s because Naruto is smaller than he should be. Younger. And then the person starts talking and-
“What now, you little demon child?”
That voice. He knows that voice. Knows the person saying those words. Instantly, whatever panic he was feeling before is now increasing tenfold. The air is coming out of him in short gasps and he desperately claws at the ground in an attempt to free himself.
“You’re nothing but a monster”, the voice mocks him, taking joy in his obvious fear, “I should kill you. I would be doing the whole village a favor. It’s not like anybody would miss you anyway.”
Naruto can feel hot tears slowly running down his cheeks and wetting the dirt beneath his face. He’s used to listening to people insult him and call him a monster. It hurts, but he’s used to it. But the pain he feels when hearing that last sentence is so much worse. And the worst thing is, he knows it’s true.
“You know, I’d be doing you a favor too, demon. Nobody will ever love you. I mean, how could anybody ever love a freak like you?” The voice laughs, but it’s a vicious sound that rings sharp in Naruto’s ears. “You’re just going to be alone forever, living the rest of your life in misery. So really, everybody would be better off this way. Don’t you think so too?”
At this point fully sobbing, Naruto desperately shakes his head. He tries to open his mouth to say something, anything, but nothing comes out. Instead he feels a hand land on his face. But instead of hitting him like he had expected, it softly caresses his cheek and wipes away the tears.
“-ruto. Naruto!”
With a gasp, Naruto’s eyes fly open. It takes a few seconds for his vision to clear. But once it does, the only thing his eyes can seem to focus on are the two concerned eyes looking back at him.
“Sasuke”, Naruto breathes out. His heart calms down just the tiniest bit as Sasuke’s thumb slowly moves over his cheek in a soothing gesture.
“Do you want to talk about it?”, Sasuke asks after a few moments, his voice low and clearly thick with sleep. It was obvious that Naruto’s nightmare must have woken him up.
Sudden guilt floods his mind and quickly Naruto shakes his head, blinking away the last remaining tears. “No. No, it’s fine. Sorry for waking you up.”
He tries to turn around so Sasuke can go back to sleep without being bothered by him. But the hand on his face doesn’t move and keeps his face right where it is.
“Naruto”, Sasuke whispers with so much love in his voice that Naruto can’t stomach to look at him. He doesn’t deserve this. “If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. We can just lie here and I can hold you until you’re either ready to get up or fall back asleep. But you don’t ever have to apologize to me for waking me up. Okay?”
Naruto stays quiet, doesn’t trust his voice not to break if he speaks now. He can’t stop thinking about what the person in his nightmare said. Because they were right, weren’t they? Who could ever love a monster like him?
Sasuke doesn’t let him spiral though.
“Hey. Look at me.” Something in Sasuke’s voice makes it impossible for Naruto to deny him and so, a bit reluctantly, he allows his eyes to focus back on the black and purple ones in front of him again. “Good. I don’t know what exactly is going on in your mind right now. But what I do know is that I love you. I don’t care what time it is or what else might be happening. If something happens, anything, to ever make you doubt my love for you, you come straight to me. And I will tell you exactly what I’m going to tell you now.
“You, Uzumaki Naruto, are the single most important thing in my entire life. I love you. More than I ever thought I could love anybody. I know you sometimes struggle with believing that you can be loved. But you are the most amazing person I have ever met and anybody would be crazy for not loving you. I would burn down the entire world for you. I am so incredibly in love with you that it scares me sometimes. And if you need me to tell you that every single day for the rest of our lives so you won’t forget about it, then that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”
Silence settles between them for a few minutes after that. Naruto has no idea what to say. How is anybody supposed to respond to something like that?
With a shaky breath, he eventually moves closer to Sasuke and settles against his chest. In a heartbeat, his arm is around Naruto, hand snaking around his waist to pull him closer before starting to move up and down his back. Instinctively, Naruto puts his head over his heart and closes his eyes. He lets the slow and steady thumping ground him until his own heart beats in the same rhythm. Every part of his skin that Sasuke touches is warming up, slowly spreading through his body. And after a few more minutes pass, he finally dares to speak again.
“I love you too.” It’s not much, but it’s the one thing he felt he needed to say. The only thing that seemed important to him right now. Then, after a second, he adds “But please don’t burn anything down.”
That startles a laugh out of Sasuke and he gently squeezes Naruto closer to his chest. Naruto himself can also feel himself smiling just the tiniest bit and he burrows deeper into the warmth surrounding him.
He also can’t help but think that Sasuke’s a fucking liar with his ‘I don’t know what’s going on inside your head’ thing. As if he didn’t know exactly what to say. Stupid, annoying, absolutely wonderful mind reader.
They don’t talk more after that. They don’t need to. Naruto knows things still aren’t perfect. He will have nightmares again. And on other days, so will Sasuke. He will also have times when he feels like he doesn’t deserve love again.
But it’s okay. Because Sasuke will be there every single time to remind him how loved he truly is.