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Aleks’ fingers curled around the handle. He squeezed it tight. The hall behind him was empty. He looked at that instead. It would be so easy to walk down it and walk away. Aleks pushed down on the handle. The door swung open and revealed the classroom. It was innocent enough with fairly standard educational decorations. Today the ugly yellow walls and stained linoleum floor seemed like a trap to Aleks.
His teacher had been mid-sentence. He stopped to look at Aleks. His lips seemed to disappear into one thin, long line.
“Ah, Aleks. It’s so nice of you to finally join us. How many days has it been now?” He said. Aleks shrugged. He stepped inside and kept his eyes trained on the floor. He knew that they were watching him. He could feel their gazes on him like a brand. “Aleksandr.”
“Yes sir?” Aleks looked up. His teacher frowned down on him. It felt a scratch compared to the scars his fellow peers were burning into him.
“Try not to be late again.” The teacher said. His face seemed to soften as he spoke. Aleks must have looked as bad as he felt.
“Yes sir.”
Aleks’ footsteps echoed. He wished that his teacher would start talking. He seemed to wait until Aleks had slipped into his seat. Aleks still didn’t look up as he settled. His feet kicked a bag underneath the table and that was the only indication he had of anyone sitting beside him. Aleks chucked his own bag onto the floor and left it there. His fingers found the tabletop instead of a pencil. He drummed them on top of it, watching as they bounced up and down erratically. The teacher started talking again and finally Aleks could calm down. He looked to his watch and nodded. It was one class, it was barely 50 minutes. Aleks could do this.
“Okay, class. If you could please turn to your partner and discuss the problems on page 84.” Aleks looked up then. He stared at his teacher in disbelief. Aleks shook his head but if the teacher noticed, he didn’t say anything about it. The person beside him coughed.
“Did you forget your textbook?” Aleks heard his partner’s book being slid towards him. “I swear you’d forget your head if it wasn’t screwed on.” The boy laughed. Aleks took a deep breath.
“Yeah, you’re right.” Aleks turned to face his partner.
James looked as beautiful as he always did. His eyes lit up as Aleks turned to face him. With the way that he was acting it was almost easy for Aleks to pretend that the weekend hadn’t happened.
“Come on then, let’s talk about these problems.” James tapped the page in front of him before the phone on his side of the table tore his attention away.
“I thought that’s what we did on Saturday.” Aleks said. He couldn’t help himself. The words seemed to simply fall out of his mouth. James turned and frowned at him. Aleks caught the name on his phone and ripped his gaze away.
“Really, Aleks? You’re really going to bring this up now?” Aleks inched away when James gestured with his hands. He shrugged. James shook his head. He grabbed the corner of the book and pulled it closer to him.
“I can’t see.” Aleks said. James curled his arm around the book.
“Yeah, well, you should have remembered your textbook.” James glanced at his phone again.
“James. We’re supposed to be partners.” Aleks sighed.
“No we’re not. We talked about that on Saturday as well, remember.” James wouldn’t look at him.
Aleks’ chest tightened. His breath caught and he turned away to try and cough. He didn’t get his breath back but found tears in his eyes instead. Aleks forced himself to relax. His body felt like dead weight as he pushed a breath through. If James noticed, he didn’t say anything.
“Can we just do the damn task?” Aleks’ lips barely moved and he kept his teeth locked tight.
“We could if you’d remembered your text book.” Aleks could hear James’ fingers tapping on his phone. Aleks shifted back into his seat. He knew the people closest to them were watching.
“I could just borrow yours; you’re clearly not using it.” Aleks grabbed at the book. James held onto it with a vice-like grip. He looked over his arm to glare at Aleks.
“Fuck off.”
The paper sliced Aleks’ finger as James whisked it away. The pain ripped through his hand. He brought his finger to his mouth and sucked at the blood that pushed through the surface. James didn’t apologise or even check to see that he was okay. He hunched over his phone, angrily typing and purposefully not looking anywhere else. Aleks let it go. He knew he shouldn’t have come. He pulled his finger from his mouth. The tiny cut filled up with blood within seconds. Aleks watched it trickle. There was nothing he could do for it now. Aleks brought the finger back to his mouth. He could only lick his wound.
The bell sounded and James out of his seat. He walked around the desk to get to the door. Aleks looked up to see him smiling and for a brief moment, he thought that it was for him. Then James looked for the boy that had ruined it all and his smile grew wider.
Kevin gestured James over. James went willingly. Aleks swallowed as Kevin wrapped an arm around James’ shoulders. He guided him to the door and then they disappeared into the hallway together. Aleks slumped into his seat. He pulled the finger from his mouth again and sighed. He’d have to get a plaster if he planned to do any work today.
Aleks only wished that they made plasters for break-ups.