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Stiles stood in the middle of his four year old sons room, Isaac, his blank stares taking in the plastic dinosaurs, clothes strewn every where.
Stiles lip twitched upwardsg when he remembered having to stand in Isaac's closet because he was afraid of monsters. Stiles stood in the closet and talked to him while Derek would pet his hair until he fell asleep, whispering Stiles favorite saying in his ear.
Stiles let a tear slide down his cheek as he remembered the bare feet running down the hallway to the kitchen, where he left his race cars on the floor, Isaac's joyful laugh echoed through the hallway.
"Daddy?" Isaac asked one night when he and Derek were tucking him in.
"Yes sweetie?" Stiles asked as he flipped on the night late.
"I love you. And dad. I love my daddy and my dad to the moon and back."
Derek looked up at Stiles, they had matching grins across their face. Stiles leaned down and kissed Isaac's forehead. "And we love you to the moon and back."
Stiles let out a chocked sob as he thought about the day in the hospital, when the doctor confirmed Stiles' fear about the cancer.
Stiles had to stay strong for Isaac, he was to young to understand what was happening, but if Stiles gave into that painful feeling of needing to cry, Isaac would cry, too.
Isaac's bottom lip poked out, he must have sensed something was wrong because Derek's face had gone pale and his eyes were rimmed red with holding back the tears.
Stiles shushed Isaac and wrapped his arm around him, "It's okay baby." he repeated softly, petting Isaac's curled brown hair down. "Come on baby with me, we're gonna fly away, from here. Out of this curtain room and this hospital grey, will just disappear." he sung softly in Isaac's ear, his hand rubbed comforting circles on his small back.
"Come on little man." Derek said as they left an appointment one day, he gripped Isaac's hand tight, like he never wanted to forget the feeling.
"I'm like one of those army guys. That's what daddy said." Isaac said with a smile as he trotted beside Derek, to little to keep up with Derek's long strides. Stiles had to work, and couldn't make it to the appointment, and he wanted to. Wanted to know how his baby was doing.
"You are." Derek said and smiled down at Isaac, "Just like an army guy. An army guard. You're so strong Isaac. Stronger than me."
Isaac's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open in an 'o'. "Dad! Dad! No! No one is stronger than you dad, no one. You're like, the strongest guy out there. Right dad? Right?"
Derek let out a laugh, "I think you've got me beat." he said as he lifted Isaac and placed him in the car seat, he defiantly didn't miss the grin spreading across Isaac's face.
"I love you to the moon and back dad. Can we get cookies? Please. Please dad please." Isaac vibrated in his car seat as Derek drove.
"You won't tell daddy?" Derek asked, looking back just to see Isaac frantically shake his head.
"No dad! I love daddy. I love daddy a lot but I like when you take me to see how strong I am. That's what daddy said. He said they're testing my strength. You take me to get cookies afterward. Daddy gets me ice cream." isaac gasped and covered his mouth, his clear eyes going deer wide, like he wasn't supposed to say that.
Derek lifted an eyebrow, "Daddy gets you ice cream? Well. Next time it's me and daddy maybe we can have ice cream and cookies?" Derek grinned when Isaac started vibrating again and nodding. "Yes dad yes. Please please I want it! Please!"
Derek chuckled and turned his attention back to the road, his smile turned sad as he wondered the horrible thought he wished never came into his head. Just how many times would Isaac have left to enjoy the ice cream and cookies?
One night, near halloween, Isaac was dancing around because Derek and Stiles promised to take him to get his Halloween costume that weekend.
"What can I be?" Isaac asked as he fell onto his bed, breathing heavily. Stiles laughed and picked him up in his arms, "Whatever you want to be baby."
Isaac tapped his chin. "Batman! No superman! No, I wanna be dad!" he pointed to Derek who was leaning against the door, and Stiles let out a laugh, "No, a dinosaur! No a race car driver!"
Stiles was watching Derek and holding back a laugh at just how adorable their little man was. Derek pushed himself off the door frame and walked over, one hand snaked around Stiles waist and he looked at Isaac. "You can be whatever you want, like daddy said. But you have to sleep or else you'll be to tired to pick one out, right?"
Isaac nodded frantically and scrambled out of Stiles arms and ran to his bed, throwing himself on it and tugging the sheets up.
Stiles softly smiled and walked forward, Derek behind him. Isaac looked up at them with big eyes. Stiles sat on the edge of the bed and Derek kneeled down beside it. "Goodnight sweetie." Stiles said softly and leaned down, kissing Isaac's forhead softly.
Derek leaned forward and planted a kiss on Isaac's temple. "We love you." Derek whispered in his ear before leaning away.
"Daddy, dad, I-I don't like going to see how strong I am. I don't want to do it anymore. I don't like it since it makes me sick." Isaac whimpered out, tugging his blanket up to his neck.
Thankfully for Stiles, Derek was there. He placed his hand on Stiles' knee, knowing how Stiles couldn't deal with this well.
"Isaac, we talked about this. We have to go. Because if you don't you won't be strong anymore, and you'll feel worse. You know how being sick only lasts for a few days? Well if you go it'll be longer." Derek whispered softly and brushed his fingers through Isaac's curls. "And what about the cookies and ice cream? Me and daddy are just supposed to eat it ourselves?"
Isaac shook his head and glared, "I want cookies and ice cream!"
Derek smiled faintly, "Then we gotta see how strong you are. And then we'll eat all the cookies and ice cream you can manage." he said, poking Isaac in the side to make him giggle.
Isaac let out a yawn and nuzzled his pillow, "okay. Cookiesandicecream." he slurred out and let his eyes droop. "Sounds goooo'night."
Derek gave him another soft kiss before standing and grabbing Stiles' hand. Stiles had his eyebrows lifted slightly and let a tear fall. Derek quickly and gently pulled him from Isaac's room. And as soon as they were at their door, Stiles fell against Derek's chest and let out a sob, muffled by Derek's tee, Stiles' fingers clutched Derek's shirt.
Derek's arms wrapped around him as he felt his shirt quickly get more wet, his own cheeks beginning to feel damp.
Derek moved them to the bed and they cried in each others arms, the knot in his stomach was ever present since the day in the hospital, and it only grew tighter.
The day Isaac died they were in the car, Stiles was in the backseat, Isaac's head cradled in his lap. They were traveling home from the hospital, when suddenly it happened.
Stiles started screaming and crying, "Derek! Derek please do something! Why?! No! Isaac baby please! Derek! Isaac no. No, no, no. Why?" stiles sobbed, clutching Isaac to his chest. He sobbed out Derek's name and why, and Isaac. And pleaded and begged for Isaac to come back because he only had four years with him and it just wasn't long enough.
Somehow, Derek manages to pull over, but his heart feels like its stopped in his chest and he's pretty sure he isn't breathing. Stiles screams and cries are slowly fading from his ears, and all he can think is he'll never hear the bright, joyful, wonderful laugh echoing through the house, or feel the small child crawling into the bed in the early hours and jumping and shouting, waking up he and Stiles, grinning and scrambling under the covers beside him. It's all been stolen from him.
Derek doesn't remember calling the ambulance, and he's glad, because he doesn't want to remember telling them "my son just died."
Stiles clings to Derek as he waits for them to bring Isaac back, just bring his baby back. But it never happens, and Derek can't break down because Stiles is on the very edge of a panic attack, Derek knows he's going to have one, and Derek can't break, not yet. Because Derek has to stay strong for Stiles. Stiles has struggled and struggled to stay strong for Isaac and now..
Derek's already lost his whole family, the only thing left for him was Stiles, and then Isaac happened and he knew he had a family again. He spent so long alone and it felt so good to finally have a family back.
Derek just wants his little man back. He wanted to watch him grow, find love, take him to do things Stiles didn't want him doing, give him his first beer and make him promise not to tell his dad.
Derek can't do it. And he's so angry. He's so so so angry that his life was stolen from him and it just isn't fair. When Derek gets home he destroys most of the house, breaking glasses and throwing things. He stops at a picture of all three of them, Isaac is in the middle, clinging to Stiles', his arms wrapped tightly around his neck. His eyes are squinted closed and the grin is spread ear to ear. Stiles is in the middle of laughing, his mouth his wide and his eyes bright as they stare at their son. Derek's on the other side, he's leaning forward and pressing a big kiss to Isaac's cheek, his hand is sneaking up to tickle his side. ("Daaaad, stop it! Dad! Dad no! Grandpa, tell dad to stop it! Ew, daddy don't kiss him! GRANDPA!")
Derek falls against the wall, picture frame clung tightly to his hand, his tears pour down his face and he uselessly wipes angrily at his eyes.
Stiles has stood by the door, it's the first night in four years that they're alone in the house without Isaac, and the quiet is painful.
Stiles steps forward and curls his hand in Derek's shirt, and Derek lets out a deep sob and whimper. Stiles tugs Derek to him and Derek just falls in Stiles arms, and they both start crying, because in just this one moment, their entire life has changed.
Their little man is gone.
The funeral was mostly quiet with silent sobs, Stiles clutched to Derek for dear life. He hadn't even been able to walk in at first, he stood outside the doors shaking his head, and stepped backwards, if he went in there it would really be the end. It couldnt be the end. No one really knew what to say. It came as a surprise, the blind hope had faded the fact that they wouldn't get a miracle. And Stiles knew they would. Stiles just knew a miracle had to come. The miracle was Isaac.
Stiles and Derek were the only ones by the casket during the last five minutes. Stiles reached out and brushed his hand through Isaac's curls, looking down at the still body he let a tear fall as he leaned forward to kiss his forehead one last time. "Come on baby with me, we're gonna fly away, from here. You were my best four years." stiles whisper-sung softly into Isaac's ear. Derek kissed Isaac's temple and touched his hand for one last time.
Stiles wasn't sure how long he spent in Isaac's room, but suddenly Derek was there. Stiles closed his eyes and let the tears pour down his face. Derek pulled Stiles towards him and just held him.
"I love you Isaac. I love you to the moon and back." Stiles whispered to the empty room.