Work Text:
Sent: Sunday, April 29, 2012, 4:04 pm
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: You were right!
Message:
…that Picasso was about the worst forgery I’ve seen in a long while. I could tell the brushwork was off from the photo. Was it paint-by-numbers? Seriously, I hope you catch this guy soon – he’s giving the rest of us a bad name.
Or was it a joke? Aww…did you send it to me for the LULZ? Cuz…thanks?
Well, this weekend was a whirlwind, in case my lack of responsiveness to your texts didn’t give it away. I think The Couples were trying to distract me.
Diana strong-armed me into drinks with her and Christy Friday night, right after work. That turned into a few rounds of pool. Fair warning: apparently Christy hustled for pocket money back in med school, so steer clear. She took all my cash. Anyway, that turned into dinner, followed by coffee, followed by whisky and cigars followed by…I’m not sure, but there may have been karaoke. I did wake up in my own bed, though, in case you’re wondering.
An empty bed.
Sorry – low blow. That’s the last time I try to make you feel guilty – I know what it’s like when you get a break in a big case.
Saturday, Elizabeth showed up out of the blue and dragged me to a street fair down in Chelsea. Outside of my radius, but apparently Peter already cleared it with the Marshals. I had fun, though. I got you some of that Shea butter stuff you like.
Had dinner at Chez Burke, which was really great and comfortable and homey. And made me miss you like hell. I think Elizabeth noticed, because she started rubbing my back a little. Or else she was coming on to me in front of her husband, which: unlikely. So I’m going with she was being nice.
Peter and I got to talking about the latest case – that Ponzi scheme I mentioned last week, and before we knew it, it was 2:00 am, so I crashed in their guest room.
They took me to brunch, and I just got home, and I think I need to take a nap to recuperate. Call me later if you can – I want to hear your voice.
Love,
N
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Sent: Wednesday, May 9, 2012, 3:34 pm
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: I LOVE IT!!
Message:
Babe,
I tried to get you on the phone, but I keep missing you, so…e-mail will have to do.
I LOVE IT!
I can’t believe you went to all this trouble for my birthday present. You know how much I love Wyeth. Of course you do – or you wouldn’t have painted this for me (duh!).
I had to laugh, because I set it down on the floor behind my desk, and Flannery our new Art Crimes guy came in and yelled at me for leaving it there. He gave it the once-over and asked where it came from – why hadn’t he heard about the case if a stolen Wyeth had turned up in Boston. I’m letting him stew for a bit. I have to amuse myself somehow. The guy’s a bit of a pretentious ass.
I hate that I couldn’t be there this past weekend so you could have given it to me in person. We’ve got three open recs for agents for the team, and the cases keep piling up and…you don’t need to hear it again. I’m sorry I had to disappoint you and bail on our weekend AGAIN. I’m disappointed too. I hate it, actually. I haven’t seen you, touched you, held you in six weeks and I’m going crazy.
And I’m staring at this beautiful painting and the love I have for you is so, so strong, Neal. You know, I sleep on one side of my bed every night, just waiting for the time when you’ll be there to fill the empty space. And it won’t be long, will it? It’s just another sixteen months (and nineteen days, six and a half hours…). That’s not so long in the grand scheme. I keep telling myself that, and sometimes it even cheers me up.
I’ll call you tonight – take care of yourself.
Love,
Clint
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Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2012, 7:31 am
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Got your voice mail
Message:
Clint,
Are you sure you can’t make it this week? I’ve been looking forward to the long weekend for ages. I finally found that Pinot you like – I bought three bottles. Elizabeth invited us over for a barbecue on Monday, and she’s making that Cuban pork you love. So…tempted?
No wait, don’t answer that – attached is a picture of me to make it harder for you to say no.
Love,
N
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Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2012, 7:54 am
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: Got your voice mail
Message:
In the immortal words of Ralph Kramden: Hummina-hummina-hummina.
That picture was smoking, but it just makes it harder for me. I am so under the gun with these budget projections, I should be wearing Kevlar. Please understand that disappointing you is literally the last thing I want. Ever.
Love you,
Clint
PS – that picture might have to be my new wallpaper…
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Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2012, 7:59 am
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: RE: Got your voice mail
Message:
Clint,
I get it. I’m sorry you can’t come. I’ll call you later.
Neal
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Sent: Monday, June 18, 2012, 2:12 pm
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: Bearing Financial
Message:
Hey Jones,
See attached – witness statements from the CFO and his secretary. Who knows – maybe this thing will actually get to the grand jury? Let me know if you need any of the other stuff, but it’ll be easier to messenger it up, let me tell ya. It practically fills an entire file room, and have I thanked you enough for dropping this turkey in my lap? (Yeah, that’s right: fuck you very much!)
Listen, it’s none of my business, but Caffrey's practically pining away to nothing, and I’m getting sick of his mopey mug. So, if you don’t make it down here for his birthday, I will personally come up there to kick your ass.
Di
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TEXT MESSAGE June 24, 2012, 4:12 pm
Neal: You on the train?
Clint: Just pulled out of Penn Station. I miss you already.
Neal: Awww. Thanks for the best birthday ever. What you gave to me meant so, so much.
Clint: :-)
Neal: You’ve really never done that before?
Clint: No.
Neal: Could’ve fooled me. I love you so much.
Clint: Me too.
Neal: I can still smell you on me, in my clothes.
Clint: Aww.
Neal: I can still taste you.
Clint: Now you’re making me blush.
Neal: Mission accomplished.
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Sent: Wednesday, July 18, 2012, 12:08 am
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Where ARE you?
Message:
Babe, I haven’t heard from you since Sunday night, and now your voice mailbox is full. What is up with you? I just want to know you’re OK. Text me or something.
Love,
Clint
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TEXT MESSAGE July 18, 2012, 5:15 am
Clint: Neal, where are you? I still haven’t heard back from you.
TEXT MESSAGE July 18, 2012, 5:29 am
Clint: I had a nightmare about you. Every time I touched you, you blew away. I’m freaking out – CALL ME!!
TEXT MESSAGE July 18, 2012, 5:55 am
Clint: You know I’m not that clingy guy. But it’s been two days. You’re not on Skype, your VM is full. If you’re on a case, I get it, but please just get word to me.
TEXT MESSAGE July 18, 2012, 6:17 am
Clint: Neal, if I don’t hear from you in the next hour, I’m on the next train to New York.
Neal: Clinton, it’s Peter. Book that train ticket and then call me on a secure line. I’m in the office.
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Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2012, 8:15 am
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
CC: [email protected], [email protected]
Subject: Temporary reassignment: Clinton Jones
Message:
Maggie,
Just a quick note to summarize the details of our phone conversation earlier today. Clinton Jones is to be temporarily reassigned to the New York field office, reporting to Peter Burke. The term for this assignment will remain open-ended, until the Keller manhunt is concluded and our CI is hopefully returned safely.
I thank you for your understanding in this case. Jones was integral in bringing this dangerous criminal to justice in the past, and his participation now will be of great assistance.
Regards,
Reese
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Sent: Thursday, August 9, 2012, 3:19 pm
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected], [email protected]
CC: [email protected], [email protected]
Subject: Prisoner transfer: Neal Caffrey
Message:
Dear Tony and Jim,
This e-mail serves as confirmation that Neal Caffrey has been transported to Boston, and is now under the temporary supervision of SAIC Margaret Pinsky in the FBI Field Office up there. Caffrey will remain in Boston as he recuperates from injuries sustained during his recent abduction, or until Matthew Keller is apprehended.
Jim - Special Agent Clinton Jones will be bringing him to your office tomorrow to be fitted with a new tracking anklet. Included in the attachment is the address of the place he will be living, as well as addresses for his physician and the rehab center where his physical therapy has been arranged.
As has been agreed, while he is in Boston, his radius will be set to within five miles of his residence, which will also accommodate the other addresses in the attached.
Images of the signed transfer papers are attached. Please let me know if you have any questions or issues.
Regards,
Special Agent Peter Burke
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TEXT MESSAGE August 14, 2012 1:13 pm
Neal: So, so bird.
Neal: BORED – stupid autocorrect.
Clint: So you keep saying. Cute picture, by the way.
Neal: There were animal crackers in my soup!
Clint: You didn’t have to portray inter-species sex acts. Elephants and monkeys…so, so wrong.
Neal: It’s the love that dare not speak its name.
Neal: You wanted to see that I was eating.
Clint: This is true. You’re too thin.
Neal: I’m not.
Clint: I want more meat on my man’s bones.
Neal: Awww…I’m you’re man?
Clint: Has there ever been any doubt?
Neal: Never.
Clint: I’m getting out of here at 4:30 to take you to PT. You been doing the exercises?
Neal: Yes, Dr. Jones.
Neal: Ooo…Dr. Jones sounds sexy.
Clint: Don’t start.
Neal: Doctor, it hurts when I cough.
Clint: Then don’t cough.
Clint: But DOES it hurt when you cough?
Neal: Everything hurts when I cough. I think this takes a while.
Clint: Just don’t overdo it. Use the wheelchair. You have many bullet wounds.
Neal: This is
Clint: Why you hate guns.
Neal: Why I hate guns.
Neal: You’re quicker on the draw than me. Or, um, thumbs.
Clint: I have a call in five minutes. I’ll call you when I’m in the car.
Neal: OK.
Neal: Hey – pick up some of those peaches if you get a chance – I just ate the last one.
Clint: Will do. ‘Bye.
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Skype – Caffrey.Neal
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Saturday, October 27, 2012, 1:21 pm
---------------------------------
Peter Burke
Ping.
Neal Caffrey
Hey!
Peter Burke
How have you been?
Neal Caffrey
Good. Almost 100%.
I went for a jog this morning
Peter Burke
That’s good, right?
Neal Caffrey
I was sucking wind after two miles.
Peter Burke
I’d still call it progress. Last time I saw you, you couldn’t walk.
Speaking of, when am I going to see you?
Neal?
Neal Caffrey
I don’t know.
Peter Burke
Keller was seen in Berlin last week, buddy. It’s safe to come back.
Neal Caffrey
I know. I just…I like it here.
For a minute there, I felt like a normal person.
Peter Burke
You are a normal person, Neal. A good, normal person.
Who’s unfortunately still a federal prisoner.
We can’t let you stay up there indefinitely. People are starting to ask hard questions.
Neal Caffrey
I’m sorry. I guess I can come home if the doc says it’s OK.
Peter Burke
The doctor said it was OK two weeks ago.
Something else wrong?
Neal Caffrey
No.
Peter Burke
You don’t want to leave Clint.
Neal Caffrey
Remember what you said to me once? That I needed to figure things out, and someday I’d be the luckiest guy?
Peter Burke
I do.
Neal Caffrey
I’m the luckiest guy now, Peter.
Peter Burke
See – I told you.
Mind you, it’s not with the person I predicted at the time, but it all worked out in the end.
I think I get to be a little smug now.
Neal Caffrey
Go to town.
Peter Burke
You know he’s crazy about you, right?
Neal Caffrey
I do. And you know what? Nutty as it sounds, I think this whole thing has brought us closer. Reminded us of what really matters.
Because whatever happens, no matter how complicated or busy our lives get, we still have each other.
Peter Burke
I think I just teared up.
Neal Caffrey
Shut up.
Peter Burke
Listen, I can give you maybe one more week and then it’s back to New York and the old arrangement.
Neal Caffrey
Very well. But only because I have no choice in the matter.
Peter Burke
Maybe Jones can take some time off and you guys can take a vacation – I’ll have the anklet reset for anywhere between here and Boston you guys want.
Neal Caffrey
You’d do that? Thanks, Peter.
Peter Burke
We Lucky Guys have to look out for each other.
----
Thank you for your time.