Chapter Text
Jake was glad to get off work early. It had been a difficult few years for him and his family, he thought, as he made his way home. Neytiri's death had been an unexpected shock to all of them, and before they could settle into anything like a new normal, Neteyam had been off to college, taking Kiri with him.
No one expected them to be leaving for college at the same time, but unbeknownst to the rest of the family, Kiri had acquired all the needed credits to graduate early. Before Jake could get a grip on losing his wife, half the family was out of the house.
It wasn't all bad though. As much as Jake tried to be there for her, Tuk was more independent now, and seemed to have plenty of friends. And he thought he and Lo'ak had grown closer since Neteyam and Kiri had moved out.
Or they had been anyway. Over the past few months, Lo'ak had started to seem strained around Jake, and he didn't know why.
Maybe it was something they could get past today. Jake had the afternoon off, and Lo'ak would probably be home from school by now. It would give them some time together before Neteyam and Kiri came home for the weekend.
When Jake got home, the house was quiet though. Maybe he would have some time to himself then, if Lo'ak wasn't around.
It had been over two years since Neytiri had died, and in that time Jake hadn't been with anyone else. Partly because he didn't know how to go about moving on, and partly because of his kids. He didn't want them thinking he could—or would ever try—to replace her.
But Jake had been feeling lonely lately, among other things. He'd been thinking about dating, but he hadn't come down one way or the other on if he'd give it a try.
It was hard for him after Neytiri died to imagine himself with another woman, but he hadn't been with a man since his college days. His kids didn't know about that part of his life, since he hadn't had any reason to believe he'd ever be dating again. He had never really thought about telling them he was bisexual, and Neytiri had never pressured him to.
But now he wondered if he should have said something sooner. Would it be too much of a shock if he were to start dating and suddenly—in the eyes of his children—be interested in men? It was a part of himself that Jake had tucked away for almost twenty years.
Maybe he'd tucked it too far down. His porn history had gotten a bit…wild as of late, or at least more wild than it had been in a while. It mostly featured younger men being dominated by men in Jake's age range. And if he'd come suddenly when one young man had cried, "Daddy!", no one had to know about it but Jake.
It had certainly come as a shock to Jake though. But he supposed the last time he'd been with a man, he'd been young too himself. And he and Neytiri had always been on the adventurous side in the bedroom, but usually with her in the domineering role. Maybe he needed something that didn't remind him of her.
He was heading up the stairs to his bedroom when he heard a noise coming from Lo'ak's room. Thoughts of an afternoon alone fled his mind, as he wondered what Lo'ak might want to do today.
He opened Lo'ak's door, hoping he wasn't too busy to spend time with his old man.
"Hey kiddo, you—" Jake started before realizing Lo'ak was already busy.
"Dad!" Lo'ak yelped, moving to cover himself.
Jake spent far too many seconds staring in disbelief, and in those moments several things happened at once.
He'd walked in on Lo'ak, naked. And as Lo'ak sat up, fumbling for something to cover himself with, he came. His arm, still reaching for the sheets, blocked all but the purple head of his dick, pathetically leaking come in what Jake knew was an unsatisfying orgasm. Even if Jake couldn't see it for what it was—ruined, his mind whispered—the noise Lo'ak made confirmed it.
Something between a whine and a whimper escaped, despite Lo'ak's teeth biting into his bottom lip to stifle it. Jake took in the flush on Lo'ak's cheeks, the sweat pooling at his collarbones, the spread of his thighs—
Before Lo'ak looked up and Jake realized he'd been standing there, frozen for far too long.
"Sorry!" Jake said, too loudly, before moving back into the hallway and closing Lo'ak's door behind him.
Jake didn't move, staring sightlessly at Lo'ak's bedroom door. He couldn't stop seeing the embarrassed, miserable look on Lo'ak's face, couldn't keep his pathetic little whimper from playing over and over again in his mind.
He couldn't help but think about how Lo'ak looked so much like the needy, desperate young men Jake had been watching recently in the privacy of his own room. Young men who had been touched and teased by older men, men who told them no and robbed them of any satisfying climax.
Fuck.
He couldn't stop thinking that he'd done that to Lo'ak. That had been his fault. The needy, uncomfortable, buzzing ache that Lo'ak would be feeling right now was because of Jake.
He thought he'd be sick with how the thought made him sweat, made him want.
The way he said, "Dad!"
Jake hated himself in that moment, as the memory sent another jolt of arousal through him.
He was startled out of his thoughts by a quiet thump and—
"Fuck!" whispered quietly, miserably from Lo'ak's room.
It was enough to startle Jake into heading to his room as quietly as possible. He would need some time alone after all to deal with the lust and guilt the interaction had left him with.