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Toji wakes up tangled in the softest blankets that are tucked under his chin. There’s crust on the corners of his eyes and drool that trickles down his lip from in his sleep. He wipes the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, tracing the scar that lives on his lips like clockwork with his thumb.
10:32
It blinks and blinks. The digital clock on the table glows green. Letting Toji know it’s morning. Yet he doesn’t want to get up, he wants to be strangled and devoured by these fluffy blankets.
But it isn’t his house.
The woman he slept with, he can’t remember her name, must have woken up much earlier than him. Probably too embarrassed over the fact that she let a stranger sleep beside her in her own bed with her own fluffy blankets.
And no, they did not have sex. Which was a first for Toji.
He grunts when he sits up in the bed, stretching out the muscles in his neck and tightening the drawstrings on his sweatpants. His shirt that he threw on the floor last night is gone. He thinks nothing of it, bidding a silent farewell to the memory foam while forcing himself awake. By the time he reaches the slightly adjacent door, he’s able to smell it. It’s fresh, and sweet. Like honey.
He tries to be quiet walking down the stairs, but he hisses a curse when one of the steps creak from the unfamiliar weight.
“Toji?” The woman calls out. Toji snorts, finding it ironic that she managed to remember his name. “Are you up?”
He doesn’t respond, instead creeping down the stairs, making his way to the kitchen keeping his head down. He stops walking when he reaches the kitchen tiles, eyes focused on the rabbit socks from feet smaller than his.
“Good morning.” Her voice so soothing. So sweet. Almost like the honey thats drifting to his senses.
“You made breakfast?” He ignores the hospitality. It makes him feel weird, he’s not used to it.
“Yeah.” She chirps. “Eggs, pancakes. A little bit of everything. I didn’t know what you like.”
Toji’s mouth salivates automatically. And his heart feels weird in his chest. Thumping and thumping and it feels stuck beneath his rib cage and muscle. It’s beating and beating like it wants something. Like it feels something.
“I, uh, also helped myself. I’m so sorry and I know I should’ve asked first but-“
“That’s my shirt.” He tilts his head upward. Enough so that his bangs are still able to cover her face. Enough so that he’s able to easily spot his black sweater that he stripped somewhere in the corner of this random woman’s room.
“I know I know!” She sighs, tugging at the collar. The shirt is practically swallowing her. It’s about three sizes too big. Making her look miniature, similar to a doll. “But I noticed how, soft and comfy it looked. I was gonna wash it before you woke up but then I thought to make breakfast, and now-“
“You’re rambling.” Toji interjects, putting out his hand hoping it will make her calm down.
“Sorry. You don’t seem very happy about it.” She mumbles, walking backwards toward the stovetop. Scraping some eggs with a spatula to plop them on a plate. “I can take it off upstairs and-“
“Keep it.”
“What?”
Honestly, Toji wants to say the same thing himself.
He doesn’t know whats wrong with him. For years he has been sleeping and leaching off of different women. People that merely wanted him for his body, ignoring him for any relevance. He would never be accepted for jobs long enough to make a resume interesting to view at for more than five minutes. Ever since birth he has never been cared for, and he’s used to that. Accepted that. Accepted that for the rest of his life he will be about as relevant as shit on the bottom of someones shoe.
But today is different.
Today his heart is throbbing in his chest. Beating rapidly, pumping the blood faster than normal. He can feel it up to his ears and his body feels weird. Ever since he woke up engulfed in warm blankets and perfectly fluffed pillows. Since the moment he smelt honey that came from every corner of this house. Ever since this woman that he still doesn’t know the name of made him a gourmet breakfast and wore his shirt while cooking.
And he just let her keep it.
Maybe it’s because of this new weird feeling. Thats making his head spin. An emotion that is not being connected by fear, yet all of the signs are there. But it feels more like a loving embrace than having butcher knives picking at his skin.
He feels sorry when he flinches when she touches his arm.
“Oh! I’m really sorry, you spaced out. And I got worried. Would you like some tea?”
Soft, fluffy, warm, honey.
He should add caring to the list.
“Are you okay, Toji?” The woman asks. She tilts her head to the side. She has soft blue eyes, and short black hair. At the tips they spike up slightly. It could be the cause of bedhead, but he’s not so sure. Toji would have to be a fool to say that the woman in front of him wasn’t beautiful. Because she was, and it made his heart go slightly faster. Her thumb wipes against the corner of his eye, catching a tear before it was about to fall down his cheek. Toji doesn’t say anything, just letting the caring shorter woman care for him.
He thinks he’s heard of it before. When your heart beats up fast, when you’re feeling so many comforting things tackling you at once. When you’re okay with that. Practically mesmerized with the sight in front of you.
Love?
Toji thinks that’s what it’s called. Being able to be in love with such a sweet caring woman.