Chapter Text
Mina has had a long day. Not only was she laid off her job, but she came home to find out her roommate is moving in with her girlfriend and she needs to find a new one. This wouldn’t be so bad if she was sure she could find another roommate as clean, tidy and nice as Jihyo.
But she knows being laid off is the most pressing issue, despite already starting to miss Jihyo even though she isn’t leaving for another two weeks. Apparently, her boss had been studying the development of AI during the last few months and had ultimately decided he wanted to trust that instead of most of his female employees, so she was let go along with about three quarters of her female coworkers. She felt her blood boil the moment she found out the reason, but she figured working for someone like that wasn’t worth it anyway.
Albeit that doesn’t mean she doesn’t currently want to drown her sorrows in alcohol. She has about a month to find another job if she wants to be able to keep living under a safe roof.
It all goes away the moment Nayeon lays her eyes on her, though.
“Put some on my nose,” Nayeon says, touching the tip of her nose. Mina smiles, applying blush where Nayeon requested. She feels nervous, what with Nayeon’s gaze never leaving her face, but she tries not to show it. Miserably failing, though. “Are you okay?” Nayeon asks a moment later, furrowing.
Mina has never been able to hide her emotions from Nayeon for too long. You have a tell, Nayeon always says, although never exactly mentioning what her tell is. She’s just good at reading her, Mina thinks.
“Yeah,” Mina replies, not ready to share her news with anyone yet. “Which lipstick?”
“That one,” Nayeon quickly points at a fuchsia lipstick Mina has always loved on her. And, really, the only reason she even keeps buying it, given how Mina has never been a fan of it for herself. “I think she’ll like it.”
“I’m sure she will,” Mina assures her, feeling a pinch in her chest.
Nayeon has always been good at being Mina’s best friend. They met when Mina was ten years old, playing at the same park. A new playground for kids had been installed days earlier so both of their parents thought it would be a good idea to take their kids there, unaware that they would be changing the course of their lives forever.
Mina doesn’t remember a time where she wasn’t infatuated with Nayeon: wanting to play with her toys, begging her mother to give her the same hairstyle Nayeon used to have, making a scene whenever her parents picked her up from Nayeon’s house but she didn’t want to leave yet, getting to hold Nayeon’s hand for one moment making her entire day. There hasn’t been a single day since they met Mina didn’t want to spend with Nayeon.
And Nayeon never complained about any of it. Mina’s clinginess was always welcomed, always something Nayeon found cute and endearing rather than annoying and asphyxiating. Despite being two years older, she always made sure that Mina felt included in her life and loved as much as any of her other same-age friends.
But, alas, her best friend isn’t as good to have as a romantic interest. Mina realized at around fourteen years old that her feelings for her weren’t strictly platonic, driving her down a gay spiral and culminating in her realizing she’s a lesbian — and, not only that, but a lesbian who’s in love with her best friend. Best friend whose sexuality she wasn’t even sure of, by the way.
That question didn’t remain unanswered for long. Nayeon had always dated guys, each of them never lasting more than a couple months. At seventeen years old, though, Nayeon started sneaking around to date a girl in her class. Mina didn’t find out about it until Nayeon publicly came out as queer five months into her relationship with this girl, despite having noticed a weird behaviour from her months in advance.
Mina felt a mixture of feelings after that: surprised, since she was about eighty percent sure Nayeon wasn’t sapphic; relieved, now knowing that Nayeon liking her back wasn’t impossible; jealous, given how she actually had a girlfriend stealing her away from her; and weird. Weird because this could both bring them closer together or drive them as far apart as they never had been before.
So Mina didn’t share her newly realized feelings with Nayeon. Not even after she broke up with her girlfriend, and not even when she went off to college and Mina finally came out as a lesbian to everyone that summer. She spent the next two years trying to get over Nayeon, take advantage of the fact that she couldn’t see her everyday and move on from an impossible situation.
On the other hand, Nayeon was busy meeting Sana. They crossed paths at a university class in Nayeon’s sophomore year, barely weeks after Mina got into that same university. But it was too late: Nayeon was already infatuated with her new crush.
After Mina moved into the university dorms and met Jihyo, Nayeon would spend hours on hours just gushing about Sana and going on dates with her. Mina did her best to be supportive and happy for Nayeon despite her own feelings — because, yes, she had been unable to move on, no matter how long she had spent away from her best friend —, at least while the good part lasted.
Sana unveiled her true colors about six months into their relationship. She started becoming obsessive, getting jealous at how much time Nayeon spent with Mina and her other friends, and not much time passed before Sana broke up with her and started sleeping around. It broke Nayeon’s heart, but not enough to not take her back when she popped up weeks later pleading to get back together. The rest of their years long relationship would be a repetition of the same cycle: Sana gets bored, they break up, Sana erases herself from Nayeon’s life for a while, Nayeon finds comfort in Mina, they get closer, Sana comes back begging for forgiveness, Nayeon gives in and they get back together. Repeat over and over again.
So, Sana isn’t Mina’s favorite person in the world. She wouldn’t even make the list of people Mina can somewhat stand to be in a room with for five minutes. But Nayeon cares about her and, if Mina cherishes her friendship with her, she has to be nice about it, hoping that one day she’ll open her eyes and walk away from Sana.
“Tonight is important,” Nayeon suddenly says, making Mina miss her upper lip and apply lipstick under her nose. As Mina grabs a napkin to clean it up, Nayeon continues. “I’m gonna ask her to move in.”
Mina stops, her hand resting frozen on Nayeon’s cheek. “What?”
“I think it’s time,” Nayeon explains, an excited smile growing on her face. “Don’t you agree?” When Mina doesn’t respond, she continues. “We’ve been together for four years, Mina. I think we need to start taking it seriously if we wanna go anywhere as a couple.”
Mina sighs, her gaze dropping to the ground. She can’t hide her disappointment as much as she wants to. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” Nayeon nods, taking Mina’s hand. “I’ll be okay,” she assures her, caressing it with her fingers. “I won’t be calling you tonight.” Mina looks up at that, trying to read her friend’s expression.
Nayeon has a habit of calling Mina whenever things with Sana go south, whether to get a distraction or to get comfort. Mina never refuses to provide either of those, despite her own heart aching seeing Nayeon in the state Sana usually leaves her in.
“We have been hinting at moving in together for a year now,” Nayeon speaks again when Mina resumes carefully putting lipstick on her upper lip. “I think this is the right thing to do.”
Oh, how I wish you were right, Mina thinks.
✰
Mina is on her third drink when her phone lights up and shows an incoming phone call. Alarmed, she jumps off her seat to get it, almost dropping it in the process.
“Nayeon? What happened?”
“Nothing, nothing,” Nayeon replies, forcing a soft voice that Mina knows is just trying to hide whatever is going on. She can feel her chest inflate with anger. “Can you come to the bar that’s three blocks away from my place?”
Nayeon’s words are a bit slurred, like she has been having some drinks herself. Mina is already picking her things up before she says yes.
When she gets to the bar, it takes her a few minutes to find her friend. She finally sets her eyes on her sitting in a corner, sipping from some red-ish drink.
“Nayeon,” she calls out when she’s a few steps away. Nayeon immediately lifts her gaze, lighting up when she sees Mina and running to hug her.
Mina embraces her, holds her as tightly as she possibly can. Nayeon doesn’t seem to mind, though, holding on to Mina like her life depends on it.
“Nay,” she says, softly, once they let go and sit down. “What happened?”
“Nothing!” Nayeon exclaims, feigning enthusiasm. “We’re just not going to move in just yet,” she explains, “we are kind of taking a break.”
Mina’s mouth hangs open, not so much in disbelief but in frustration. “Why?”
“It’s not the time right now. I’m a little disappointed, yes, but it’s okay,” Nayeon explains, grabbing Mina’s hand. “I’m okay, really.”
Mina debates whether to believe her or not. She seems to be calmer than when she made the phone call, and she isn’t breaking down like all the other times Sana broke up with her. She isn’t trembling like she usually does in this sort of situation, and her smile isn’t giving away any hidden emotions.
Maybe she’s telling the truth. Mina decides to believe that Sana isn’t a terrible person, just this once.
“Okay,” she finally agrees, squishing Nayeon’s hands. “Let’s go, then.” She attempts to stand up, but Nayeon pulls her hand, dragging her back down.
“Not yet,” is all Nayeon says.
When Mina is sat again, Nayeon gently pushes her drink towards her. “Drink up,” she says, provocatively smiling.
“I don’t know if that’s the best idea right now,” Mina protests.
“Well, weren’t you drinking before you got here?” Mina purses her lips, surprised Nayeon could tell based only on the few minutes they spent together.
“I… Yeah, I was,” Mina admits, dropping her shoulders.
“Did something happen?”
Mina debates whether she should tell Nayeon about being fired or not. She does feel like letting some of that burden go, but she also doesn’t want to worry her.
A moment later, she decides honesty is the best policy after all.
“I was fired,” she sighs, gaze immediately falling upon Nayeon to analyze her reaction.
The older only gifts her a sweet smile. “I’m sorry, Mina,” she says, caressing her shoulder. “You were one of their best workers, whatever reason they had to do this to you isn’t valid and doesn’t define you at all.”
Mina attempts to smile, but only some sort of grimace forms. “I liked that job,” she says, letting herself melt under Nayeon’s touch and moving ever so slowly towards her. “It paid well, my coworkers were nice and the commute wasn’t long. But now I have nothing left, Jihyo is moving out and I’m supposed to find a new job who knows how,” she vents, realizing her head is now on her friend’s shoulder and their hands are fiddling together.
“You have me,” Nayeon breathes out, so low Mina wouldn’t have been able to hear it if she weren’t so close to her.
Mina isn’t sure how things go from this soft, sweet moment to downing shots and joining this random group of people celebrating someone’s birthday. Among the chaos, though, she finds time to look at Nayeon, really look at her, and think.
She does have her. She has her and she doesn’t think she can ever let her go, as selfish as that may be.
Nayeon has been there for Mina every single time she needed her. Mina didn’t have the easiest time coming out, her family wasn’t exactly accepting and Nayeon took her in for a few weeks until everything calmed down and they had time to process it and start working on being better for her.
When she was sixteen years old her grandfather, who was her favorite person in the world besides Nayeon, passed away, and she wouldn’t have made it through that without her. Nayeon would bring flowers to her house every day for a month to give Mina something to look forward to during such a hard time.
She also spent almost every night of the summer before going off to university sleeping over at Mina’s house despite it being her “last summer” because she was going through a period of time where nightmares were a daily occurrence and Nayeon’s presence calmed her.
And, now, Mina lost the job she’s had for two years and the one stable thing in her life excluding Nayeon, but her best friend isn’t wavering. She never has.
Nayeon has proven time and time again that Mina can trust her, that she’s not going away and that this is sort of a forever thing.
So Mina lets herself have it. Just this one time.
She loses count of the amount of drinks she has, and at some point she forgets to keep track of Nayeon’s, too. All she knows is she’s now sitting on Nayeon’s lap placing a strand of her hair behind her ear, laughing about something she said a moment ago.
“I’m lucky to have you,” Mina suddenly confesses, unsure about whether she actually said it or it was only a loud thought.
Nayeon’s response doesn’t come in words. Instead, she places her hand on Mina’s waist, bringing her closer. Mina feels her skin burn where Nayeon is touching, her cheeks getting warmer by the second as well. But Nayeon doesn’t subside: her hand travels all the way up to her neck, lightly pushing it aside to place a kiss there.
Mina’s world stops for a second. She freezes.
Nayeon doesn’t seem to notice, though, as she continues leaving kisses all over Mina’s face: her cheek, her chin, her forehead and, finally, her nose. Eye contact doesn’t come easy to Mina after what feels like the touch of an angel on her skin.
“You’re always here for me,” Nayeon says with a slightly raspy voice barely a couple centimetres away. “Let me be there for you.”
It feels like both an eternity and barely a second until Mina feels Nayeon’s lips on hers, oh so gently leaving another one of her kisses there. She isn’t sure what kind of expression she has, but it makes Nayeon giggle when she separates from her and Mina can’t complain, not at all.
She wants more, though. Now that she’s had a glimpse, barely a hint of a taste, she can’t help but wish for more. And she won’t give up so easily this time.
She places both of her arms around Nayeon’s neck, playing with the back of her hair. Nayeon smiles, questioningly yet amused, and invites her in with nothing but a glint in her eyes and rapid blinking Mina knows is a habit of hers that only shows when she’s nervous or excited.
The possibility of Nayeon feeling that way about the two of them together like this makes Mina feel a rush in her chest she’s never experienced before.
She goes in, all in, before Nayeon has to beg her to get closer. Their lips join again, starting to move slowly at first but becoming hungrier as they get more comfortable.
Mina can feel the adrenaline run throughout her body, hyper aware of everything around her, especially Nayeon and her brazen hands making their way all across Mina’s upper back to its lower part.
She isn’t sure what comes next, or how they end up in Nayeon’s bed ripping each other’s clothes off. She can’t forget the way Nayeon moves against her, or how their skins feel against the other’s. But the entire night goes by in a flash and, the next morning, Mina wakes up in a sweat, feeling her cheeks heat up at the memory of a very graphic yet exhilarating dream.
She only realizes it was nothing short of reality when she feels a naked Nayeon move beside her.
She looks around, hoping to see her light purple walls and her ballerina picture on one of them, but what she finds instead are her clothes scattered all around the familiar yet confusing room. It’s in that moment that memories of the prior night come rushing in, causing her breathing to accelerate and her to start panicking.
She carefully gets out of the bed, making sure not to disturb Nayeon and picking her clothes up on the way out. Once she gets dressed, she hurries towards the apartment’s door and leaves, hoping that her best friend doesn’t have the unfortunate luck of also remembering the exact moment they decided to ruin their perfect friendship.
✰
Mina avoids Nayeon for the next week. She isn’t sure how to proceed now that she’s had sex with her best friend of over a decade, in all honesty.
So she resorts to playing dumb every time Jihyo asks her why Nayeon hasn’t come over recently, or pretending not to see the notifications of Nayeon’s messages.
Not everything is bad, though. When Jihyo found out about Mina getting fired, she commented something about her friends owning a café and looking for employees. It was only five minutes farther than her old job and it paid enough to survive until she finds a better offer, so she went for it.
Dahyun and Momo are Jihyo’s engaged friends who opened a café about a year earlier. Mina has seen them around a few times, but she doesn’t know them too well. They remember her as well, though, so the interview was arranged rather quickly and she finds herself getting a new job only a week after she was fired from her old one.
It’s on her first day as a cashier at More & More that she sees Nayeon again.
Her eyes fly to her, almost like it’s a reflex at this point, and Mina is quick to panic and turn around, hoping that Nayeon won’t recognize her. It obviously doesn’t work, since she’s pretty sure Nayeon could find her in a sea of Mina clones.
Quite unfortunate for her.
“Mina,” Nayeon calls out in between giggles, waiting for Mina to turn back around. “Mina,” she tries again, a little louder this time, when Mina shows no signs of being willing to face her. “Can we talk, please?”
Mina closes her eyes for a moment before turning around and taking Nayeon’s hand to guide her into the back room where only employees are allowed.
“Hey,” she says awkwardly when the door closes and they are left standing in front of each other.
Nayeon seems entertained, to say the least. She’s never been one not to enjoy Mina embarrassing herself, but Mina would think she’d have some decorum in a situation like this.
“Finally,” is all Nayeon says before closing the distance between them and pecking Mina’s lips.
Mina automatically jumps back without even thinking about it, shock only processing a moment later. “What— What… are you doing?” she asks, softly, too afraid of saying the wrong thing.
“Huh?” Nayeon mumbles, going back in.
“Nayeon, wait,” Mina protests — God, she can’t believe she’s actually putting a stop to this — and puts her hand on Nayeon’s shoulder, keeping her from moving any closer. “Seriously, what’s going on?”
“I thought we were on the same page?” she asks, half confused half amused, with a glint of desperation in her eyes. Mina wonders how she’s able to stay so strong at the view of Nayeon practically throwing herself at her, given how not even in her wildest dreams did she dare imagine this ever happening.
“We…” Mina is at a loss for words, not sure how to explain I actually am in love with you and would very much like to repeat last night but you’re not in love with me and only want to repeat last night for fun and some distraction from your very fucked up relationship. “We slipped up,” she manages to say after a few moments of a staring competition slowly developing between them, the tense air suddenly becoming heavier. “It can’t happen again,” she finishes, taking a step back and scratching her neck to calm her nerves down.
Really, no one can say she isn’t one hell of a strong-willed woman to be turning the Im Nayeon down like this.
“Why?” Nayeon questions, stepping closer to Mina once again and grabbing the hem of her shirt to fiddle with it.
“Why?” Mina repeats, in disbelief.
“Yes, why?”
“Because we value our friendship?” Mina starts, matter-of-factly. “Because this would ruin us, maybe? Gee, I don’t know, Nay, perhaps because you’re still obsessed with your ex?”
Nayeon bites her lip, contemplating Mina’s words. She narrows her eyes and, a moment later, her lips are right by Mina’s ear. “Sana is the last thing I’m thinking about right now.” Mina lets a big breath out, earning a chuckle out of Nayeon. “See?” she says, moving her face just centimetres apart from hers. “You want it, too.”
“Did you not hear the part about this possibly ruining our decade long friendship?” Mina’s voice is trembly, which doesn’t help her case at all, she knows it, but she can’t help it. Nayeon has always had this power over her, and if she finds out she’ll be able to get anything she wants out of Mina.
She can’t let that happen.
“What if this only strengthens it?”
“What?”
“Yeah, have you never heard of friends with benefits?” Mina makes a grimace, Nayeon laughing and quickly retracting her statement at that. “Okay, scratch that. But, really, friends do this kind of stuff all the time. No one got hurt from a little sex, right?”
Mina is tempted to respond negatively to that question, but she refrains from it. Instead, she puts her hand over Nayeon’s, which is still playing with the hem of her shirt, to keep it in place.
“Nay,” she says, as sweetly as she can manage, “I love you too much to let myself do this.”
“And I love you too much not to let myself do this,” Nayeon counters not even a beat later.
Mina licks her lips, repeating Nayeon’s words over and over again in her head. Nayeon doesn’t waste any time before giving Mina another peck, one that feels wrong, one that brings guilt and anxiety to Mina. One that, despite everything it carries with it, she can’t help but want more of.
She knows she shouldn’t do this. She knows it would change their relationship forever, either for better or for worse, and it would be irreversible. She knows.
So why does she feel more and more inclined to agree to it the longer she looks at her?
“This is exactly what I need right now,” Nayeon continues, now caressing Mina’s cheek. “That night was the best night I’ve had in a while and it was all you, Mina. I want more of that. I want more of you,” she confesses, provoking Mina’s heart to start doing somersaults in her chest. “I know you want it, too. I can see it in your face, your eyes, the way you keep licking your lips. It’s obvious,” Nayeon cheekily smiles, as if she caught Mina red-handed.
Well, Mina thinks, this is the first time in years you’ve noticed the way I look at you, so I’d say I’m still winning.
“This could go so wrong…”
“And it could be so good!” Nayeon keeps getting closer and closer, slowly but surely, and Mina knows there won’t be any more distance to break in only a moment. And she knows she can’t— won’t reject her this time.
“Can you promise me this won’t change things?” she desperately begs before Nayeon nods and joins their lips back together, now much more passionately than the first two times.
And, really, Mina could never deprive herself of this once she’s tasted it. She’s strong, but not invincible.
✰
“We can’t keep doing this here,” Mina whispers, albeit it with a smile on her face as she feels Nayeon’s hand slide down her thigh.
“What? It’s your break,” Nayeon asks dumbfounded, wasting no time in leaving a trace of kisses up Mina’s neck until she reaches her ear.
“But you’re not even supposed to be here, it’s strictly for employees only,” Mina explains, taking a few breaths in between some words as she tries to maintain composure and not alert any costumers of what’s going on behind the closed door of the back room.
“Well, one could say I’m in charge of making you feel good, so it’s okay for me to be here, hm?”
Nayeon brings Mina closer, letting her free hand travel down to her ass to—
“Mina, are you he— Oh,” Tzuyu, one of Mina’s favorite coworkers, interrupts, hitting Mina’s back with the door. “Sorry,” she says before taking a step back and attempting to hide her entertained smile, but not leaving before adding, “you know this room is for employees only, right? I’m surprised both of you even fit in here.”
Mina closes her eyes and purses her lips in embarrassment, Nayeon’s laughter rumbling all around the room. When Mina opens her eyes, Nayeon is staring at her with an amused look on her face.
“What? We were bound to get caught at some point,” Nayeon defends herself.
“Not if we didn’t sneak around in my work place!” Mina jokingly complains, softly hitting Nayeon’s shoulder with her hand.
“Well…” Nayeon starts, taking Mina’s hand in hers, and if Mina knows anything about Nayeon it’s that she can’t be planning anything innocent with this tone. “How about you and I, my place, tonight, having dinner and maybe, I don’t know, dessert after that?” Nayeon winks, Mina’s cheeks immediately heating up.
They’ve been doing this for almost two weeks now, but Nayeon’s directness never fails to make Mina feel weak in the knees.
“Okay,” she agrees, planting a peck on her best friend’s lips. “Now get out, I have an actual job to go back to.”
✰
“Mina? Is that you?” Jihyo yells from her room when Mina enters their apartment.
“Yeah!”
When Jihyo makes herself known, she looks… messy. Moving to Jeongyeon’s apartment proved to be a bit more complicated than they first imagined when an issue with her lease popped up, so the actual move was delayed a couple of weeks. She’s finally supposed to do it in a few days, though, so she’s been organizing her stuff and running around the apartment for a week.
“Are you okay?” Mina laughs, leaving her things on the table and throwing herself onto the couch. Working at a café may not be as physically taxing as some other jobs, but dealing with all sorts of people sure does wear her out. “Do you need help?”
“No, it’s okay, I just need to take a break. I’ve been at it for like three hours,” Jihyo plants herself right next to Mina, throwing her head back and taking a big breath. “Were you with Nayeon again?”
“What? No,” Mina is quick to deny, which prompts Jihyo to give her a look. “What? I was at work!”
“Yeah, well, that doesn’t usually stop Nayeon, does it now?” Jihyo lifts her eyebrows, as if she’s got Mina backed against a wall, and Mina can only bite her lip thinking about the moments she spent with Nayeon only a few hours ago.
“We’re just having fun,” she says, simply, like there isn’t anything more to it. Like she really believes it.
Unfortunately, Jihyo isn’t as easy to convince. “Are you or is she?”
“Hm?” Mina plays dumb, pretending like Jihyo isn’t the most observant person she knows and hasn’t noticed the look on Mina’s face every time Nayeon leaves at midnight after they’ve had sex.
It’s not like Mina wouldn’t like her to stay and spend the night, maybe share some breakfast in the morning and have a proper loving sex experience, if that’s even a thing, but Nayeon seems all too excited to leave after it’s done. Almost like she’s running away from something and staying over would make it impossible to ignore.
Or maybe that’s just Mina, she’s not sure.
“Be careful,” Jihyo says, “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I’m okay,” Mina assures her. “It’s Nayeon we’re talking about, Ji. She wouldn’t hurt me.”
She may have said that to appease her friend, to get her off her back and be able to enjoy doing whatever she’s doing with Nayeon, but she truly starts to believe it on a Friday night the following week.
Jihyo has finally moved out, leaving Mina alone in her cold apartment and in need of some company. And, well, of course Nayeon is quick to offer her presence and maybe something more.
“You’re actually insane,” Mina breathes out as she lets herself fall onto the bed, Nayeon following suit after her.
“Why? Because I’m good at sex? Because I make you feel nice?” Nayeon laughs, Mina jokingly hitting her arm.
“Can you be any more conceited?”
“Well, what can I say, I know the things I’m best at,” Nayeon proudly explains, giving Mina one of those radiant smiles she’s starting to think are reserved only for this.
This is the moment Nayeon would stay in bed for about five minutes, then kiss Mina on the cheek and offer some excuse as to why she has to leave, but it never comes. The words never leave Nayeon’s mouth. Instead, she gets closer to Mina and places an arm around her, cuddling up right onto her body.
Now, Mina isn’t inexperienced, but she can’t say she’s ever cuddled someone while being naked. It’s certainly an interesting feeling, but she doesn’t push Nayeon away. What she does do is turn her body towards her and start caressing her hair, watching her slowly close her eyes and let herself fall asleep in the comfort of Mina’s embrace.
She doesn’t leave. She doesn’t explain how she has an early morning or a busy day ahead. She falls sound asleep, allowing Mina to imitate her and think about how giddy she feels right before dozing out.
✰
When Mina awakens, the bed is empty. She searches around the room with her eyes hoping to catch any sight of her friend, but she isn’t lucky. She begins to imagine she might have regretted staying the night and perhaps she sneaked out early in the morning, but her thoughts are interrupted by an interesting scent.
Waffles. Nayeon’s favorite breakfast food.
After she quickly puts on a robe, she walks to the kitchen and effectively finds Nayeon preparing some breakfast. There’s already maple syrup and a couple of plates on the table, and her hair is up in this cute little ponytail that looks like it was done in a rush but Mina can’t help but swoon over.
“In all my years of knowing you, I’ve never seen you get up before eleven a.m.,” she says as a greeting, albeit Nayeon isn’t even slightly startled as she looks at her and smiles.
“Yeah, well, you forgot to close the blinds and the sunlight was all up on my face,” Nayeon explains, stepping closer to her and cupping her face. “Hi,” she adds, strangely shyly, and places a kiss on her lips. “Plus, I knew you would be there when I woke up. And I wanted to make us breakfast, so I was really counting on my sleep schedule not betraying me this time.”
Mina giggles. “Thank you, you didn’t have to.”
“I wanted to.”
“You never have before.”
“And I want things to be different now,” Nayeon says, pecking Mina’s nose and going back to giving her full attention to the waffles in the making.
Mina blinks, taking in the entire sequence of actions:
- Nayeon stayed the night. Never faltered, never even showed any signs of discomfort or hesitation. She simply… stayed.
- Nayeon made an effort to get up early to make them breakfast. Mina’s never had someone do this for her.
- Nayeon kissed her, outside of the context of sex, twice. Once on the lips, once on the nose — which, by the way, felt a lot more intimate, even. Mina isn’t entirely sure what to do with that.
- They are now sitting at the table, eating their waffles and giggling over some silly joke the kids show on the TV just made, and Mina isn’t sure what she’s going to do once it all comes crashing down. Maybe she’ll just have to learn to live with the fact that she had everything she always wanted and lost it.
✰
Mina finds her head spinning more often than not these days. She can’t seem to figure out what’s going on with Nayeon, which drives her absolutely nuts. It’s not exactly like her best friend is a predictable person, but having known her for over a decade allows her to be able to foresee some of her patterns in behaviour.
Now, though, it’s like Nayeon has transformed into a completely different person. Well, not completely. But Mina never had access to this side of her, the romantic, sexual, sensual Nayeon that is usually reserved for her intimate partners. But now Mina is her partner, she supposes, and it’s changed — as much as Mina wants to deny it.
You see, Mina was expecting Nayeon’s avoidance: her leaving in the middle of the night, rushing out after they’re done making out during Mina’s break at her job, awkwardly laughing when a friend points out how touchy they’re being but quickly assuring them they’re not dating. It still sent a dagger through her heart, but she always saw it coming.
What she didn’t see coming, though, is the complete one eighty switch up in their relationship after Nayeon decided to stay the night that one time. They hadn’t been able to see each other for a week afterwards, but the night they finally met up, Nayeon was quick to grab her hand and rush her upstairs to her apartment and briskly pin her against the wall to join their lips together.
As far as Mina knew, this would be like all the other nights they had spent together: sweet talk each other enough to lead to a satisfactory pre-game and finally end up in bed, only to have sex she would be dreaming of for the next two days and, then, hear Nayeon whisper goodnight, count to sixty and stand up to put her clothes and shoes on and quietly leave, wanting to respect Nayeon’s decision not to spend the night together beyond sex.
But, of course, she was wrong.
They did make it to the couch, though, still making out and Mina feeling one of Nayeon’s hand cupping her ass. She smiled and Nayeon giggled at it, separating from her at little.
“What?”
“Nothing,” Mina assured her, attempting to continue the kiss. But Nayeon had a different idea.
“You have no idea how much I’ve needed to see your smile this week,” she confessed, her hand now softly caressing the back of her thigh as Mina lied on top of her.
Mina wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Nayeon didn’t really need her to; she pecked her lips and carefully started sitting up, Mina imitating her unsure of what was going on.
Nayeon then grabbed the remote control and turned the TV on, cozily placing her head on Mina’s shoulder as she scrolled through the different movie options.
“Nayeon?” Mina inquired, confused.
“We can do the rest tomorrow,” was all she said before pressing play on some new animated movie and cuddling up closer to Mina, who didn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around her and hold her tight as a smile grew on her face.
Mina can’t help but wonder if it’s all temporary, if perhaps Nayeon is just suffering a lapse of judgement and it’ll go away in the blink of an eye the day someone better shows up. Nayeon has never been predictable, but she was at least comfortable, she was familiar, Mina knew she could count on her to always be there… and that is simply not the case anymore.
And, while Mina can’t lie to herself and say she doesn’t enjoy the current status of their relationship, she doesn’t particularly love the uncertainty of it all. It started out quite clear, with very precise boundaries, but it’s beginning to become much more blurry as time goes by and she doesn’t think she has it in herself to stop Nayeon from breaking her heart if it comes down to it.