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Taehyung noticed.
He knew what this would lead to, he genuinely did and in all honesty he knows he should do something about it but he really couldn’t when he knew Jungkook would not appreciate the pushing.
He just didn’t know it had gotten that bad.
Jungkook knew how bad these used to get, pushing everything down till it all blew up in his face, he should learn from his mistakes, he most definitely should.
Everything had been going downhill and usually, these things didn’t even matter but everything was just too much, it was too much, too fast. He genuinely didn’t know how to deal with any of this at all and so it was second nature to push anything foreign as far away, any emotion he did not approve of as far away as possible. But he knew he was teetering dangerous grounds when even simple, mundane chores became taxing.
So taxing that he would have to crouch and just breathe to calm himself down, pressing his palms against his eyes as hard as he could, beckoning his feelings to not act up, and it worked for the time being, it did. It just didn’t last.
Taehyung knew that pushing Jungkook to open up would bear no fruit and that he would come to him if something went too wrong but maybe he should’ve been a little persistent that way Jungkook wouldn’t have hit rock bottom. The shrill sound of a glass bowl shattering that pierced through the silence of their apartment was a testament to the very thing he dreaded. Rushing to the kitchen where Jungkook had been washing dishes, he saw the boy shaking, hands trembling.
The sight broke his heart to pieces. He slowly makes his presence known so as to not startle his boyfriend who’s already so on edge and calmly wraps his arms around his waist and turns the boy around in his arms. Taehyung was met with a sight that made his heart constrict.
Jungkook stood there with his head ducked but the glassy eyes, raw-bitten lips, and a quivering chin were more than visible “Kook, look at me. Tell Hyung what’s wrong,” and as if that was the very last string that held Jungkook together had snapped, Jungkook completely broke down, wrapping his arms around Taehyung’s shoulders and burying his face in the crook of his neck, he cried. Cried so hard that the shocks left him unable to reel back. The influx of emotions made him breathless, gasping for air, whimpering at the pain that enveloped his entire being.
The hands that soothed his sides, rubbing up and down were the only anchor he had to reality, the only anchor he had to ground himself. Finally wrapping his arms around Jungkook’s quaking form, a hand coming to cradle the nape, gently stroking his thumb in a comforting lull. It took a while for Jungkook’s breathing to return to something less frantic, something less erratic. All the while Taehyung continues to move his palms across his back to help him calm down.
It is only when Jungkook’s breathing is normal that Taehyung peers at him with eyes filled with so much love, brimming with so much care, and presses a chaste kiss to his temple, hand sliding from his nape to hold his face with so much fondness “you did so well, let it out, always so brave and strong you’re doing amazing” and now he almost wants to cry again for a completely different reason.
Eyes pooling with tears yet again but he does nothing to stop them from trailing down his face as his boyfriend peppers silent, almost-there kisses all over his face “come on,” he whispers in the tranquility of the night. Hands fall from his face as he traces his shoulders and arms and finally holds his hand ever so tender and squeezes. A non-verbal way of saying ‘I got you, you’re doing so well’ and so he silently leads Jungkook to the bathroom, the light dim and soft. Sitting him on the counter next to the sink Taehyung works to run him a warm bath.
When he feels satisfied with the temperature of the water that he knows will help ease Jungkook he makes his way to his boyfriend, adding the pine and cinnamon fragrance to the bath with bath salt, having lit candles around the bathroom, known as something he knows his boyfriend seeks comfort in. he stands between his parted legs, holding his face once again as if he needs it just as much as Jungkook does.
His eyes flake over his face, sees how his eyes are glazed and very much dazed as if he isn't here just yet. Seeking comfort in Taehyung has always been the only way for his nerves not to act out every minute of the day and so it’s instinct to rest his forehead against that of his boyfriend, eyes fluttering shut.
“do you know how much it hurts to see you in so much pain kookie?” Taehyung whispers in the dead of the night, voice watery as if he’s moments away from crying too. They bask in the body heat they provide to one another, he finally hugs Jungkook, holding him close to his chest, head dipped in the crook of his neck, he smells like honey and sugar. The scent is heavenly. While Jungkook’s hands hug back, arms pooling around his waist in a weak hold “you don’t have to hide when you're in pain or something isn’t right, kook” he mutters against his ear, placing an innocent kiss on the shell of his ear.
Gradually lifting himself from the embrace, he cradles his face again. Jungkook like putty in his hands,
“always so independent, it must get so tiring,” he presses a kiss on his temple.
“you know; you don’t always have to be independent, kook” A kiss on his other temple.
“you know you can lean on me when things get too hefty, right?” A kiss on his right eyelid.
“or when you don’t want to deal with anything at all, I’ll always be there for you, you know that” A kiss on his left eyelid.
“you don’t have to be so strong all the time” a kiss on his scar.
“I want to be there for you, the way you never fail to be there for me” A kiss on his right cheek
“You know you can lean on me kookie, you’re no burden.” A kiss on his forehead
“I want all of you and that includes all your sorrows, your worries, your stresses, I want it all. I want to be there for the man who showed me love when I didn’t even think I would see light again, you saved me kookie, so why resort to suffering alone? Let me be there for you, you’re not alone. You will never be alone in time of need. I got you, always” finally pressing a gentle and pure kiss on his lips.
Every word, every sentence strengthened the bond they had created, Tears streaked down both their faces, a testament to the words he spoke and meant, the love they harbored for one another was so palpable in the way Taehyung held his face the adoration and tenderness ever so visible, their foreheads nestled against one another. Jungkook’s eyes stay shut, eyelashes glistening with all the tears they shed, all the weight they bore now shucked off as taehyung wiped under his eye with the pad of his thumb.
“You’re too strong for your good anyway” he teases with a kiss on the tip of his nose “My strong strong baby” he squeezes his bicep and Jungkook can’t help the languid, dopey smile that plasters itself on his face, he just cannot repress how relieved he feels. Every word felt like a weight was lifted off his back, he could finally breathe without feeling as though the weight of it all would crush him.
They stay there like that for a minute or ten, the bath already ready and filled.
“lean on me, let me be there for you, it hurts to see you in so much pain” taehyung reiterates embracing the boy and it’s as if the dam had broken yet again, silent tears slid down his porcelain skin, he hugged taehyung back just a little tighter to convey that he heard him, to thank him for everything, he nuzzles his face in the juncture of Taehyung’s neck and shoulder and taehyung just cards his fingers through the silky strands to let the man cry as much as he needs.
“come on” he taps Jungkook’s waist, understanding the request he lifts his hands as taehyung swiftly takes the hoodie off. Goosebumps pebble all over his skin as it comes in contact with the cold air of the bathroom. the fragrance smelled like taehyung on an early morning, barely awake, sunlight bouncing off him, making him scrunch his eyes shut, it spelled home, it was warm and oh-so grounding. Taking a deep inhale, jungkook felt himself calming down, relaxing.
Easing him into the bathtub, taehyung assures him that he’ll be back with his new pair of clothes and some water. True to his words he brings back a water bottle, clothes, and two cups of hot chocolates for the both of them. Taehyung keeps him company sitting beside the bathtub on the floor, back against the wall. They talk about all the things that troubled Jungkook and ways they will make it easier for him. Taehyung then helps him dress into a warm black hoodie, cotton checkered pajamas, and a pair of fuzzy socks.
Once dressed, taehyung leads them to the couch knowing Jungkook doesn’t wish to sleep just yet. Heading to the couch, taehyung settles himself comfortably as Jungkook sits sideways on his lap, head on his shoulder, fingers fiddling with each other. Taehyung wraps his arms around his waist, entwining their fingers with practiced ease. They put something to watch, but it gets discarded as soon as Jungkook nuzzles closer, presses a kiss under taehyung’s jaw, and rests his head there. The hair tickles but it’s comforting in ways he cannot comprehend.
“you doing okay, bub?” taehyung worries, but the gentle squeeze of his fingers is enough assurance that Jungkook feels much better “I love you so much, you know that?” Jungkook mutters, voice hoarse from the lack of use, taehyung chuckles at that and drops a kiss on his head cuddling up to the boy in his arms, resting his head atop Jungkook’s
“I love you more” taehyung replies into his hair, the room is dark, leave for the light the TV emanates, the soft light bounces off Jungkook in such a beautiful glow. “you’re ethereal Kook” taehyung mutters, and Jungkook shies into taehyung’s neck.
“thank you” Jungkook whispers after a while of sitting in silence, basking in the quietude of the night, and the mere presence of one another, listening to the pitter-patter of taehyung’s heartbeat. Taehyung shakes his head in refusal “Never ever thank me for something I’m given the privilege of doing, ever.” He says with finality.
“you let me take care of you and I am ever so thankful because kook, I can’t imagine life without you, taking care of you brings me comfort and so much peace, I love you so much and I hope I get to take care of you for the rest of my life”
“stop it hyung, you’re gonna make me cry again” Jungkook weakly hits taehyung on his chest and presses a kiss to his cheek “I love you”
“I love you more,”
“thank you for being so patient with me,”
“always.”