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Jenn Burb - Late Summer, Year Two - Pleasantview
Jenn stared at her brother’s porch for longer than she thought was probably reasonable. John was by the car, unpacking the toddler’s things. They’d left the kids in daycare while they started this move. Having them here would have been more stressful than necessary. She sighed, then put on a braver face than she felt and walked up to the door.
Daniel opened it before she could knock. He smiled at her, “Hey Jenny. Saw you walking up.”
“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that childish name, Dan?” She smiled slightly though.
This had been her home after their parents had died, before she’d met John. It still felt a little bit like home. The nostalgia didn’t stop her palms from sweating or her breath from catching in her throat as she swallowed. She didn’t want to admit defeat. And in her mind, this was one step up from moving back in with one’s parents.
“The master bedroom is upstairs, to the right. Feel free to put your personal stuff up there. I’ll help John grab the stuff for the nursery.” Daniel pointed to the staircase.
Jenn smiled, and walked in. Her brother had spent the better part of the late spring remodelling the upstairs of his home for them, turning the twins' old bedrooms into a nursery and a room for Lucy. She couldn’t possibly repay him for that, but he had assured her he needed a project to work on anyways. That she believed. Her and Daniel might not be as close as they used to be, but she still knew her brother. His marriage falling apart and his daughters leaving for college would have taken more of a toll on him than he’d ever admit out loud. It was too bad really. Mary had been good for him. She’d curbed his worse traits, and forced him into some semblance of responsibility. Unfortunately, this was also probably the eventual downfall of their relationship. Her brother had never quite been great at responsibility or commitment. Though that much was obvious now, and he was stuck with the consequences of his own actions.
So of course he needed a project, rather than actually reflect on that.
Him giving her and John the master bedroom… insisting that he wanted to sleep in the garage? That was more concerning. She’d have to dig into that at some other time though. She had her own insecurities to deal with now.
She opened the door to the room and panned over the furniture already there. She hadn’t been in this room since she’d lived here when she was still a teenager. Her and Daniel’s parents had died almost 15 years ago, and Jenn could remember every nook and cranny in this house like it was yesterday.
Of course things had been different then. She’d been living with her parents because she was in school. She’d had a scholarship to Sim State University for her soccer skills. She’d been single, and ready to live her life to its fullest.
She glanced at a photo of them on the dresser, still sitting there from back then. Their parents had died tragically. One right after the other. She hadn’t had time to process the grief of her father’s accident before her mother had fallen ill and followed him. She’d dropped out of college in only her first year, and subsequently ruined her chances of being a pro soccer player, and then she’d moved in with her brother’s new family while he managed their parent’s affairs.
Her brother had watched her flounder without knowing how to help. But Mary-Sue, who was only 24 at the time, and juggling twin 2 year olds had told her she needed to get away for a while, to let herself learn to enjoy life again. She’d been kind to Jenn when no one else had known what to say or do.
She pulled her suitcase to a corner, and sat on the bed for a moment. This had been her home once, and it could be again.
Back then, Jenn had only wanted to escape. She would have given anything to pretend that it wasn’t her life, that she was someone else. And Mary’s words gave her just the fuel she had needed. It hadn’t taken her long to hug her brother goodbye, and take off on a plane to Del Sol Valley to run from her problems.
She sighed happily at the memory of the tropical paradise and a city combined. She’d spent a few months there, writing articles for a blog, and being a part time model. It had been an amazing way to pretend her life wasn’t falling apart and that her parents hadn’t just died.
Then, she met John. He’d been living there, with his own parents, selling fruits and vegetables that his family had grown in their backyard garden from a tiny cart on the beach. When they’d met, they’d clicked instantly. He was so down to earth and everything was so simple. He didn’t need anything to be perfect, and had no concerns about jobs or college or the future.
And she revelled in the free spirited nature of that city and that boy. Jenn had been happy to pretend that they could just be that way forever. Of course, being that free-spirited had consequences. Consequences that had names and birthdays and diapers to be purchased. It hadn’t been all that bad though. John, being the proper gentleman that he was, had quickly decided to marry her, and she’d happily agreed. They were deeply in love anyways, so nothing could possibly go wrong. They’d rented a small apartment near John’s family’s home, and had lived happily there. John could easily rely on his parents, tend the family garden and continue how things had been. Jenn worked for modelling agencies and did some journalist work on the coast.
Jenn shook her head and frowned. She stood up from the bed where she’d gotten lost in the memory. She could hear her husband dragging boxes up the stairs to the new nursery.
She sighed, again, this time lacking the previous nostalgic joy. Somehow, she’d ended up back in this house, back in Pleasantview with the same struggles she’d had all those years ago, with a few added ones to top it off.
When she was barely 19, she’d had the naivety to believe she could run from these feelings, the things that were wrong. At 35, she knew better. It was impossible to run away forever. She straightened her skirt and fixed the hair that had been messed from lying down on the bed in her parent’s old bedroom.
Opening the bedroom door, she walked decisively towards the future nursery for her toddlers and buried the feeling that told her she should get back on a plane to Del Sol.