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Mike had always had this—well, nurturing sense about him that he kept hidden because the rough and tumble way he grew up didn’t allow for it and Mike didn’t even want to think back to the many times he’d slipped around Trevor only to be teased relentlessly.
It was easy to shrug it off though, hide the panic that his weirdness might lose him his best friend, and pretty soon he got used to hiding that part of him until it was like it didn’t even exist in the first place.
Or at least that’s what he thought—what he hoped.
Harvey changed that.
There was something about the man, confident and self-assured as he was, that made Mike want to protect him from the world—which was stupid and definitely not something he should be thinking about his boss and friend.
It was all right though, because Harvey never suspected anything out of the ordinary and Mike kept his desire to coddle the man under strict lock and key. So what if maybe a few nights he’d fallen asleep worrying about Harvey and who was taking care of him, or what he was doing, was he safe, was he all right—it didn’t mean anything and Harvey didn’t know so everything was fine. And if he acted jittery and off to Harvey the day after, he just blamed it on work and changed the subject as smoothly as possible.
Sometimes he had the horrible feeling that somehow Donna knew, she’d always give him these strange looks, but she never said anything and after a while she stopped and Harvey stopped questioning him and Mike relaxed.
That—that was his mistake.
The night started off as many others did, a case made them work late, Harvey invited him over for some pizza and beer—you do not drink premium scotch with pizza, Mike—and Mike had accepted.
They’d watched The Godfather, spouted off trivia about the actors, directors, where it was shot, whathaveyou, they’d just been drinking beer so far, waiting on the pizza to arrive and already Mike felt a little tipsy. The problem was that they were in a celebratory mood, their work they had done on their current case tonight leaving no doubt who the victor in court would be—Harvey had even relented on the scotch and they’d both had a couple drinks before switching to beer.
Mike should have been more careful—watched how many drinks he’d had. But then the pizza was there, Harvey tossing some napkins on him with a smirk, and Mike had felt something flutter in his chest.
In the back of his mind, he knew what was happening, watched the events unfold with a wince—hindsight and all that. He just wished he could go back in time and stop himself.
Harvey had ordered fries and wings to go along with their pizza and he’d attempted to toss some of the fries up in the air and catch them with his mouth—eyes glassy and a permanent smile on his face, Mike dimly thought of the time they’d gotten high together.
Without thinking, he’d taken a fry and dropped it into Harvey’s open mouth.
Harvey snorted in amusement, chewing as he tossed a fry at Mike who let it bounce off his chest and onto his lap.
“That’s cheating.” He said, his drunken slur barely noticeable unless you knew him which Mike did.
“How else are you gonna win?” Mike countered, taking the opportunity to put another fry in Harvey’s mouth.
Obediently chewing, still amused, Harvey grinned. “Am I ahead now?”
“Not yet.” Mike said pushing another fry against Harvey’s lips.
Dutifully opening his mouth, Harvey accepted the fry. “Look!” He pointed at the screen and sagged back against the couch happily. “The best part—“
Mike didn’t even look, just nodded with a smile as he continued on his task of making sure Harvey ate, a feeling of contentment growing in him with every morsel Harvey accepted from his hand, the rest of his own food going ignored. This was right. Harvey needed someone to look after him.
The contentment only lasted about four more fries before Harvey turned his head away, one hand coming up to bat Mike’s persistent fry away. “No more. God, I’m stuffed.”
Mike frowned. “You’re sure, Harvey? Not even one little one?”
“’course I’m sure.”
Harvey laughed, gaze puzzled, as Mike used a napkin to wipe his mouth. “You coulda just said something.”
Mike froze, for the first time realizing what he had done. He’d fed Harvey. He’d fed Harvey and then tried to clean him up—oh god—
“Uh, oh, no biggie, I was here anyway…um, so. All good.” Mike dropped the crumpled napkin onto an empty pizza box and stared intently at the screen.
He could feel Harvey looking at him and willed his face not to colour, but it didn’t do any good and his cheeks warmed.
After a moment Harvey looked away and Mike felt like he could breathe again, but only until he realized that unless Harvey was very drunk, he was going to remember this. All of this.
Crap.
Worried and almost out of his mind, Mike didn’t realize the movie had ended until Harvey was staggering off to bed after offering him to stay on the couch.
If he hadn’t been a little drunk himself and wanted to go through the hassle of getting a cab, Mike would have left. But he was and he didn’t so he stayed.
It wasn’t a restful night.
When at last he decided he had gotten as much sleep as he was going to, Mike got up, folded the borrowed blankets up, put back on his socks and shoes, cleaned up the mess from last night and almost had a heart attack when Harvey was suddenly standing by the kitchen island.
“Jesus! Don’t sneak up on me like that!” It was only when he didn’t receive some witty retort that Mike noticed how Harvey looked uncomfortable and in an instant all his fears about ruining their friendship flooded him. It must have showed on his face as well because Harvey suddenly looked worried and put a bracing arm on his elbow.
“You look like you just saw a ghost.”
Mike had no idea how to respond, his mind stuck on picturing a disgusted look on Harvey’s face.
They stood there in awkward silence for a moment, Harvey dropping his hand back to his side and retreating to the other side of the island.
“Mike—“ Harvey stopped and huffed. “Guess we might as well not beat around the bush. You…fed me.”
It was almost a question, Mike immediately wondering if he could get away with a sudden case of amnesia but he waited too long, Harvey’s face changing to something unreadable.
“You fed me.” He repeated again, this time no question needed.
“I…did.” Mike said slowly. He tried for a smile. “Guess I had too much to drink last night because at the time I really thought it was funny.”
Harvey frowned. “Don’t lie to me.”
“Look, Harvey, we were drunk, we both did things out of character—like you throwing your tie on the floor.” Mike pointed out, desperately hoping Harvey would just let it go on account of the alcohol and let everything go back to normal. “Now would someone who wasn’t drunk do that?”
“I didn’t ‘throw’ it on the floor, I put it on the table and it slipped off.” Harvey corrected immediately. “And you’re changing the subject.”
“I don’t think I am.”
“You are.”
Exasperation covering up fear and embarrassment, Mike threw up his hands. “What do you want from me, Harvey? I’m sorry, I was drunk, it won’t happen again.”
“If this is some type of kink of yours—”
“What? No! The hell, Harvey!” Offended and getting pissed, Mike glared at him. “I said I was drunk, not trying to get into your bed.”
“You were feeding me, Mike, what was I supposed to think?” Harvey said, not backing down despite the faint look of embarrassment on his own face. “And before you start sounding like a broken record again, you were not that drunk. Hell, I wasn’t that drunk.”
“You let me feed you.” Mike pointed out weakly.
“…okay. So I was a little drunk.” Harvey paused, both of them staring at each other uncomfortably. “If it’s not a kink and you weren’t coming on to me, then what the hell is it, Mike?”
“Please, Harvey, drop it? Just—trust me when I say it won’t happen again. Please, Harvey.” Mike was practically begging.
“Don’t make it about trust, Mike. Not when you can’t even tell me what it is that we’re talking about.”
Mike ran a hand over his face and pointedly didn’t look at Harvey.
“I…” He sighed. “I like taking care of people.” There was a questioning silence, Mike forced to fill in the gap. “Ever since I was a teenager, I just liked to look after people, see that they were sleeping, eating enough, you know, stuff like that. No big deal right? But…around people I’m close to, it becomes…god, I don’t know how to explain this. It’s like—it’s like I want to mother them? Feed them, tuck them in bed, kiss their boo-boos better…” Mike blinked as he realised his voice had turned wistful and his face burned, again glad that he wasn’t looking at Harvey. “That’s it.” He mumbled.
This time when the silence dragged on, Mike didn’t try to say anything to break it, nerves urging him to just run and never look back. This was weird, he was weird, and now Harvey knew how weird he was and would hate him.
“You want to mother me?” Harvey repeated after a long moment, baffled amusement clear in his tone and making Mike’s ears burn.
“I know it’s stupid, okay?” Mike retorted defensively. “Don’t you think I know that? I can’t help it. But what happened yesterday, it won’t happen again.”
“How do you know that?”
“I can control myself.”
Mike finally dared to meet Harvey’s uncertain gaze. “I can control myself.” He repeated quietly.
Another moment of staring and then Harvey nodded. “Okay.”
They stood there.
“Will I have to work for Louis now?” Mike finally asked, dreading the answer.
Harvey stared at him some more, this time with surprise. “Mike, I’m not getting rid of you.”
Mike could have cried with relief but instead he just exhaled. “Shit. For a moment there—”
“You’re not going anywhere.” Harvey told him firmly, the tense atmosphere finally shifting into something normal. “You want eggs?”
“Uh, yeah, yeah, sure.”
The rest of the morning was…normal. Mike being sure to keep an eye on himself at all times, but Harvey pretty much acted the same and so he did as well.
It was fine.
Everything was fine.
Days passed.
And then that jerkoff Devon attacked Harvey and broke his nose.
They’d just been talking in Harvey’s office about their newest case, Donna occasionally piping in via the intercom, and then Devon, a rival lawyer who was a piece of shit and whose client was also a piece of shit, stormed in ranting.
One thing led to another and Mike was too slow to stop any of it, Harvey suddenly flat on his back with blood gushing from his nose, his head knocking against the desk. Mike saw red.
He’d like to think that if Harvey had been conscious he would’ve been proud of the way Mike was able to lay out Devon.
He was by Harvey’s side in an instant, Donna hurrying in with security at her heels.
“How is he?” She asked worriedly as Devon was taken away.
“’m fine.” Harvey mumbled blinking dazedly up at Mike who was pressing his handkerchief to his nose to stem the bleeding.
Mike bit his tongue at that, helping Harvey up into a seated position against his desk so he wouldn’t choke on his own blood.
“I can see that.” Donna said dryly but relieved. “I’m calling an ambulance.”
“I don’t need an ambulance—Ray can drive me. He’s on call today.”
“Then I’ll call Ray. But you’re still going to the hospital.”
Harvey waved her off, and then his eyes turned back to Mike.
“I’m all right.” He told him quietly.
Mike snorted. “I know. I can tell by all the blood.” He said lightly.
Harvey reached up and stilled his free hand that Mike just noticed had been fretfully smoothing back his hair, thumb occasionally stroking absently at his cheekbone. He blanched.
Feeling embarrassed and stupid and still wanting to cuddle Harvey to his chest and tell him everything would be all right, Mike drew back, red-faced.
“I—”
“Ray is on his way.” Donna announced, reentering the room and bringing with her an icepack that she got from who knows where. “Here.”
Mike reluctantly let Donna take over fussing over Harvey, a pit growing in his stomach as he tossed the blood-soaked handkerchief into the trash.
“I guess while you’re playing hooky, I’ll give my statement to the cops.” He said lightly.
Harvey frowned at him.
“Then you’d better go with Harvey, I told them to meet you two at the hospital.” Donna said, unknowingly—or maybe knowingly—foiling his plans.
Harvey smirked.
“Guess you’re stuck with me.”
Mike didn’t understand how Harvey could just overlook his motherliness so easily. He should be weirded out.
He was relatively quiet as they waited the next few minutes for Ray to arrive, letting Harvey and Donna explain to a pissed off Jessica what had happened and then he was helping Harvey up and they were going past the bullpen into the elevator and then—it was just the two of them.
Harvey was wobbly on his legs, having needed Mike’s help all the way through the office, but in the elevator he sagged against the back.
“Mike—”
“I didn’t mean to!” Mike couldn’t help but instantly say, shame rolling in his gut. “Devon coming in there—it just took me by surprise, that’s all.”
“Think it took us all by surprise.” Harvey commented dryly. “Mike—”
“I think I should work for Louis.”
Harvey straightened up at that, eyes flashing. “Like hell. Mike—”
“It’s for the best—”
“You are staying with me.” He interrupted him. “I told you that before and I meant it. And if you had let me get out more than a word at a time, you’d have known that what I was trying to say was that it was all right.”
“It isn’t all right. Harvey—” Mike covered his face and let his head droop. “It isn’t all right. You know what I want to do right now? I want to cuddle with you.” He had to force the words out, face colouring, but it was necessary. Once Harvey saw just how bad he was getting, he’d finally agree that he should be with Louis and maybe they’d still be able to work together occasionally. At even the thought of having to leave Harvey alone, Mike’s stomach twisted unpleasantly. “I can’t work with you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“It’s not ridiculous. God, Harvey, do you think I want to go work 24-7 for Louis? But you saw me earlier, I can’t control myself—”
“I’m not letting you go.”
“You can’t stop me. Unless you’re planning on telling everyone about the Great Harvard hoax?”
“Mike—”
The elevator dinged, door sliding open.
Silent, Mike and Harvey, who was slowly walking on his own—Mike just barely managing to keep from helping him—exited the building, Ray already waiting.
He and Harvey spoke briefly, Mike too busy feeling angry at himself as he got into the car.
It was a silent ride.
At the hospital, Harvey had to fill out some paperwork and then they sat and waited for his turn.
The cops showed up before then, Harvey answering questions and giving his statement, Mike doing likewise.
It was a pretty obvious case for assault and battery, with footage from the security cameras to confirm as well as Donna’s eyewitness account.
That done, Mike should have just gone home, but he felt compelled to wait to make sure Harvey was all right before he left, a text from Donna requesting that he stay with him and make sure he didn’t try to sneak back to the office further keeping him in place.
When Harvey was finally given the okay, his eyes were already turning black, his nose taped and suit still rumpled and flecked with blood.
He looked surprised to see Mike still sitting right where he’d left him, Mike looking down at his phone as he focused on sending Donna an update.
“Donna wants me to get you home.” He told Harvey quietly. “Ray waited.”
Harvey nodded and then they both headed back out, the ride to Harvey’s condo like déjà vu.
“Thanks, Ray.” Harvey told the man gratefully, Mike echoing the sentiment as he got out of the car.
“Not a problem, Mr. Specter.”
As Ray left, Mike let Harvey lead the way up to his condo.
Once they were at the door, Harvey stepping inside, Mike stopped.
Before he could say goodbye, Harvey was snagging his sleeve and tugging him inside with an exasperated look on his face, the odd trace of nerves below giving Mike pause.
Letting Harvey pull him inside, Mike stood mutely by as the man closed and locked the door, turning to him with a serious look.
“I’d never let anyone know about Harvard.”
“I know, Harvey.”
“You’re not working for Louis.”
“Harvey—”
“No.”
Mike glared at him. “You don’t get a say in that.”
“I want you to stay, Mike.”
“I can’t. Not without—not without.” He finished lamely. “Harvey, I told you, I can’t control it anymore.”
“Maybe if you could get it out of your system outside of work hours, it wouldn’t be an issue.”
“Debatable. How would I even do that anyway? I don’t want to mother everyone, just you—” Mike broke off as Harvey’s face reddened but he maintained eye contact.
“What you want seems innocent enough. If it keeps you with me, then I say do it.”
Mike didn’t know whether to be touched or pissed off. “What the hell, Harvey? I am not going to force you to let me—you know.”
“It’s not forcing. I’m consenting.”
“Only because you think you’ll lose me—” Which was really sweet, but completely out of line.
“Do I need a better reason?”
“It’s duress.”
“No it isn’t.”
Harvey got a determined look on his face and then he started to move towards Mike, Mike immediately moving to put more space in between them.
“Harvey!”
“Mike. I swear to you that this is not being forced or being done under duress or anything else.” Harvey told him solemnly, still moving towards him, Mike backing up into the living room.
“Harvey—” Mike’s legs bumped into the arm of the couch and he toppled over onto his back. “Oof!”
In a flash, Harvey was suddenly by him, kneeling down by the couch and pinning Mike down with one hand on his stomach. “My nose hurts.”
Mike had been ready to hear another reason why he should just go along with everything, not Harvey sounding so—honest. It tugged on his already taut heartstrings, Mike’s hand moving to cup Harvey’s face tenderly.
Realising what he was doing, Mike started to pull back but Harvey just laid his head down on his chest, arms curling around him in an awkward sort of hug.
Breathing hitching, Mike lay frozen for a moment, unable to comprehend why the hell Harvey would do this to him before his instincts that he’d already been struggling to keep at bay finally came to the forefront, arms circling around Harvey and tugging him close against his chest.
He let out a shaky breath.
“’m hungry.” Harvey mumbled against his chest.
“You never half-ass anything do you?” Mike asked, unable to sound pissed or annoyed or anything because Harvey was finally right where he was supposed to be.
“No. My knees are killing me by the way.”
“Shit—why didn’t you say anything?” Mike shifted, reluctantly releasing Harvey and letting him come up onto the couch where he immediately sank back against his side, an arm around his waist.
“…you really don’t have to do this, Harvey.” He said softly after a moment where he just held Harvey close.
“You’re my associate. The only way I’ll let you go over to Louis is over my dead body.”
“Wow. Way to be dramatic.”
“It’s part of my charm.”
Mike kissed his head, Harvey startling and looking up.
“Sorry.” Mike said sheepishly. “I did warn you.”
Harvey slowly shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting it.”
“Expecting it?”
“You said you like to mother.”
“I know but—how are you not more weirded out by this?”
“I’m adaptable.”
Briefly, Mike wondered if maybe Harvey might sorta like the attention but the thought was quickly cast aside. That was stupid. Harvey was not the sort of man that needed this attention.
“No shit.” He said instead, moving his hand to stroke at Harvey’s hair tentatively. When Harvey didn’t say anything, he gained confidence and kissed his head again.
“Are you really hungry?”
“Mm.”
Mike craned his head to look at him, seeing slightly glassy eyes with heavy lids. “They give you something at the hospital?”
“Yeah…”
“You can’t consent if you’re drugged.”
“These drugs weren’t that strong. Don’t second guess this, Mike.”
Mike hesitated and then relaxed. “Okay. Okay. You stay here for a bit, I’ll see if you have anything quick to eat then you can sleep.”
Harvey let Mike move him so he was stretched out over the cushions, Mike getting an extra blanket from the guest room and tucking it securely around him, hand smoothing back his hair.
He felt like he was moving in a daze, Harvey actually letting him do what he wanted still surreal. Finding the makings for a simple sandwich, Mike hurriedly prepared one and then gave it a quick grill. Once he put it on the plate, he hesitated. Harvey had said it was okay. Cutting up the sandwich into more manageable pieces and snagging some napkins, Mike got a glass of juice—that Harvey claimed he only kept there for Mike and his childish palette—and headed back into the other room.
Harvey slowly blinked as Mike set down the plate and cup.
“Smells good.” He said, surprised, pushing himself up into a sitting position.
Mike sat down beside him, plate in hand suddenly self-conscious. “Uh, yeah, thanks.”
Harvey sat there expectantly, some of the doubt on his face a mirror image of what Mike was sure was on his own.
“Mike?”
“Oh. Uh. Yeah. Uh.” He could feel himself getting more red the longer Harvey stared at him and he finally speared one of the pieces of the sandwich with a fork and held it out for Harvey who immediately took it.
Something in Mike finally started to relax as Harvey quietly sat there and ate whatever was put in front of him, Mike holding the glass for him to drink.
Before long, it was all gone, Mike wishing Harvey was still hungry. He carefully cleaned his face—not that there was really anything to clean, but still—and then he impulsively kissed Harvey’s forehead before he hurriedly went to clean up.
When he got back he helped Harvey into his room, digging out what looked like sleep clothes from his closet and then standing awkwardly in front of him.
Harvey looked at him in surprise. “You—want to undress me?”
Mike blushed. “I don’t have to. You’ve already done—”
“Just do it. We’ve come this far.”
Though they both had red faces, Mike jumped to help Harvey undress, Harvey doing his best to stay pliant even when his pants and underwear were slipped off.
Once dressed to sleep, Mike tucked him under the covers and smoothed back his hair.
“Sleep tight, bug.”
Harvey’s mouth curled into a faint smile. “Bug? Is that what you’ve been calling me in your head?”
Mike flushed.
“No, it’s cute.” Harvey told him, slipping a hand free to squeeze his arm. “Don’t overthink this.”
Mike dared to kiss his head again and then hurriedly left, light off and door open a crack.
Out in the hall and out of sight, he sagged against the wall and slid his back down it, still dazed that this was happening. It was happening. Harvey was letting him—he was actually letting him—take care of him…
Feeling almost giddy, Mike got shakily to his feet and went to collapse somewhere more comfortable.
He tried to watch some tv to distract himself but he kept finding himself want to go and check on Harvey, but he didn’t want to wake him up and he’d already had to put up with enough of Mike’s hovering.
His willpower only lasted another forty minutes and then he was creeping back to Harvey’s room and slipping inside to see Harvey. The man was already sleeping, Mike giving in to the urge to stroke his hair and press another kiss to his brow.
Harvey sighed.
Not wanting to risk the man waking up while he was there, Mike quietly left, all too aware of the sappy look no doubt plastered on his face.
Who would have thought some jackass breaking Harvey’s nose could have led to all of this?
He almost felt bad about knocking Devon out.
Almost.