Chapter Text
The first rule is this: The Doctor lies.
The Doctor was partly lying when he told Bill that Time Lords don't suffer from gender prejudice. It's easy to live on a planet where gender, identity and body changes are something basic and everyday, so most of them don't really notice the difference. But the Doctor has been away from home for most of his life. And in the beginning, he really had no preconceived notions of what he was. Or so he thought. Until he regenerated into a woman.
Being a woman turned out to be not as easy as he she thought.
The first red flag was the way people treated her.
If before, her appearance inspired fear at the right moments, respect, and trust, now it happened sporadically. Most of the time, they mistook her for Graham, because he was older, and he was a man. Sometimes they even refused to listen to her, because "what can a woman know?" If she was honest, it was unexpected. It was not something she faced before.
The second red flag was that she'd sometimes become objectified.
Of course, in her long life, the Doctor had come across "objectifying women" more than once. She had seen how some terrible men saw women as prey, thinking that if they were weaker, that gave them the right to do whatever they wanted. The Doctor always tried to make these men realise that they had no right to think and act like that. There had even been a few times in her memory when the result was a fight.
But now things had changed. She was no longer an observer. She couldn't get involved in a fight because she knew the odds were against her. Now she risked being violated, especially by men. From some drunken passers-by she often heard dirty nicknames and jokes. And it wasn't just on Earth that this happened.
She always felt dirty and angry after such jokes or inappropriate touching. Who do they think they were? Why should women have to deal with these kinds of problems?
The third red flag was the state of her body.
After her regeneration, she hadn't had time to have a good look at herself. And maybe that was something she was glad about. After a while, the Doctor realised that loving women and being a woman were two different things. Of course he she loved the soft curves and contours of women. She loved the sensitivity and openness of women, but she loved them as a man - as an observer and connoisseur of art.
And as strange as it may seem, the Doctor has never been able to come to terms with his femininity. It was more intimidating than he she had bargained for, the new body parts, the absence of the old. For two thousand years she'd been a man. And now... now she was a woman. And she had absolutely no idea how she was going to deal with it.
So the Doctor dealt with it the only way she knew how. She ran away. She didn't have a moment to think about herself, she made new friends, new adventures. At least that was a plan that had worked relatively well until one day...
***
Just as she always did, River burst into T.A.R.D.I.S.. With solemnity and relentlessness.
That day, on a planet famous for its white sandy beaches and clear ocean, the Doctor and her friends arrived. To be honest, Graham, Ryan and Yaz had moaned about it for too long, resenting the fact that all their adventures had been reduced to running and risking their lives. So the Doctor finally gave in and decided, for once, to give them exactly what they wanted. It wasn't that she didn't like the water, the sun and the sand. No. It just wasn't the kind of relaxing holiday she was looking for. So the Doctor kicked them out, told them to go and enjoy themselves, and set about fixing the T.A.R.D.I.S. It was familiar and familiar.
And all would have gone well if towards the end, as the boys piled back in with happy faces, the door hadn't opened again.
"Hello, sweetie ," someone's all too familiar voice chirped, and the Doctor froze at the console lever. She hadn't been ready for this. This was not the right time for this to happen.
The Doctor was about three thousand years old. Her brain could think of nothing better than to hide behind the console and hope that everything would somehow resolve itself without her.
"Oh, look at you. You're so beautiful. It suits you," River practically purred as she touched T.A.R.D.I.S. She vibrated in response, glowing even more brightly at the compliment.
"Um... excuse me, but who are you?" was the first thing that came to Yaz's mind as she looked at the woman in front of her. She'd be lying if she said the woman before her wasn't gorgeous. Her outfit looked like Cleopatra's. Yaz had no idea how the woman had ended up here in the first place. They'd been out for hours and hadn't seen anybody alive. Let alone someone who looked anything like the queen of ancient Egypt.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm River Song." She smiled and held out her hand for a handshake. They looked at each other in disbelief. But they shook hands. River frowned unhappily when they remained silent. "You've never heard of me, have you?" At their nods of agreement, her gaze faded. "The woman who killed the Doctor? The devil in stilettos? The Doctor's wife? None? None of them at all?"
River would have laughed at the way their eyes rolled back and their mouths opened in near-sync after she said that. Except for the fact that, as it turned out, the Doctor had never mentioned her.
"The Doctor has a wife?" Graham whispered, stamping awkwardly. River nodded impatiently. She looked around the room.
"Right, where's he? We're going to have a very long talk," she asked, already serious. She knew that the Doctor didn't usually stray far from his companions.
"He?" interjected Ryan, still seemingly digesting the news. Yaz's expression was much the same.
River left the company to come to her senses and walked deeper into the T.A.R.D.I.S. She was almost past it when she caught a movement with the corner of her eye. She turned sharply, raising her eyebrows. The Doctor was sitting under the console, pretending to be very interested in how well the screws were tightened.
There was no doubt in her mind that it was the Doctor who was there. Such an outfit could only have been chosen by her husband wife. She had to admit, though, that the clothes were a good fit. And the new body was definitely looking good as well.
"Are you kidding me?" She asked unhappily, coming closer. The doctor gave a sharp jerk, banged his head on a panel and stood up abruptly.
"Um, River, it's just... Well... You know, something seems to be broken... I was just checking, you know?" She tried to explain confusedly, pointing her hand at the panel as if that explained everything.
River blinked unconvincingly. She knew the Doctor had never been good at hiding lies.
"You've been in hiding," was River's exasperated conclusion, with a shake of her head. The Doctor started to say something else, but was silenced immediately. River motioned for her to stop.
"I think we need some time alone, if no one minds," River said loudly. She turned to the silent company next to them. They wouldn't dare say so even if they really did mind. This woman really was what she said she was: a devil in stilettos and the Doctor's wife. Graham knew that look. He'd seen it on his own wife's face every time he'd screwed up big time, so he nodded first, urging the two beside him to do the same. He could only sympathise with the Doctor. He knew they were in for a very long conversation once they were out of the door.
"You know how to operate the T.A.R.D.I.S.?" asked Yaz, not concealing her surprise as she watched River's dexterity with the controls. The Doctor stood next to her wife. She twisted her fingers nervously and stared at the floor.
"She's a child of T.A.R.D.I.S.," she said quietly, responding for her wife. There was only an increase in the number of questions from her companions, but they were interrupted by River opening the door with a snap of her fingers.
"I would really like to get to know you a little better, but I think we can do that some other time. We're at the last place the T.A.R.D.D.I.S. touched down on Earth in the 21st century. You've arrived," River told them, trying to make herself smile.
They said a crumpled good-bye to each other and then left.
Now they were completely alone here.