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The balcony of their shared home had always been Astarion’s favorite place within his favorite place. He and Tav had made this place their own over the decades. Like all beautiful things, it had been built slowly over time: the quaint little accumulation of life. The broken tile from when Tav had dropped a ceramic pot directly on it. The mis-matched colors on the walls from when they had argued about which shade looked best. They had argued till at the crescendo of conflict, suddenly, Tav had started giggling, realizing how ridiculous a fight it was. Astarion had stayed angry a moment longer, but soon cracked from the contagious laughter of his beloved.They had laughed till tears came and then laughed more, and the wall had stayed streaked with color swatches. Neither had the heart to change it after that. In fact, the oddness of it matched the rest of the home’s decor. Tav’s eclectic taste in art brought a warmth to their modest home. Souvenirs of their many, many journeys and adventures. Portraits of their friends and loved ones. Only the comfiest of furniture curated over time. Their shared bed was a refuge at the end of a long day.
They stayed home a great deal. Strangers went from mistaking Astarion for Tav’s son to assuming he was Tav’s grandson. While many would be embarrassed, Tav would just laugh and crack a joke about aging like fine wine. A fierce look would quell any questioning looks from gawking strangers when Astarion would kiss or cuddle his beloved. Being at home was just so much better anyway. They’d build a fire and Astarion would read while Tav knitted, often dozing off in their favorite squashy chair.
In recent years, Tav had needed more and more help. Astarion was gallant about it, pouring tea when shaky hands could not hold the teapot. Writing letters when gnarled fingers could no longer grip the quill. Tav would still giggle like a child when Astarion would tuck his strong arms under their knees and the curve of their back, carrying his beloved up the stairs to bed.
When Tav’s health had begun to fail, Astarion had fought hard; he scoured the lands for a healer, a doctor, anyone. But there was no cure for time and the ravages of mortality. One night, as he paced, babbling about what else they could try, Tav had caught his arm. With a soft smile and shake of their head, Astarion had finally understood.
“Just stay with me, love.”
“Of-Of course, darling.”
The time came. Ten more centuries would have still been too soon to say goodbye.
Tav’s breathing became ragged and labored. Astarion administered some pain medication and carried Tav to their balcony for fresh air, depositing them gently in their well-used wicker loveseat. How many evenings had they shared here, watching the stars?
Gods, the things they had shared could fill a hundred books.
The medicine did its work and Tav’s breathing eased. They collected Astarion’s hand in theirs, paper-thin and spotted skin contrasting with the smooth, pale, and strong hand of their eternally young lover.
“You can go on, after. I’ve had you to myself for a long time. Meet someone new, have more adventures.” Tav’s eyes were wide and sincere, and aside from some cloudiness, were the same ones that he had always gazed into. The ones that had captured his heart all that time ago.
Astarion shook his head. “Tav…before you, there was no me. Only a wretched spawn that writhed alone in the darkness. You brought brilliance to my life. You saved me, body and soul, from a fate worse than death. There will be no me after you either.”
Tav gazed at him through cloudy eyes and smiled, having learned decades ago that he was too stubborn to bother arguing. Instead, they just rested their head on his chest. They shared a peaceful silence, the kind of silence found only amongst those who have said all that needed to be said.
Well, almost all that needed to be said. Tav gathered their strength to tell their beloved one more thing.
“Starry?”
“Yes, my darling?”
“I’m not scared. Whatever comes after, I’ll find you again. Everything we’ve had, everything we’ve done…I wouldn’t trade it for anything…” Tav’s voice shook a little with the effort, breath rattling once more. “I love you, so much. Thanks for the adventure.”
Astarion could barely speak, barely breathe. He ran his fingers through fluffy gray hair and pressed his lips to Tav’s forehead. “I love you too.” It was all he could manage to choke out, but he knew Tav understood. They always had known his heart. They had nurtured it before Astarion would have believed he even had a heart.
As the moon dipped lower in the sky and the first orange glow of dawn began to peek over the horizon, Astarion felt the weak pulse in Tav’s fragile wrist stutter to a stop. They were gone.
Tears streaked Astarion’s face, but a small smile was on his lips. There were many feelings within him, but the strongest was gratitude. Gratitude at all Tav had taught him, all they had experienced together.
Gratitude that they could share one last sunrise together. He hadn’t been able to see this much of the sun in a very long time. How beautiful to see it again. He closed his eyes and let the light take him, crumbling into ash.