Chapter Text
Outside, a raven flaps its wings and caws. Ritsu watches from behind the glass of the classroom's window. It cuts through the air as if flying is the most natural thing. Though for a bird it is, he supposes.
He wishes he could fly. He's seen people do it, too. His brother, Teruki, Shou and his father, a handful of nameless espers he encountered back in middle school when everything was strange and scary. They all do it so easily. And here he is, one of the nation's most promising students and even after years of trying he can't do something that seems so simple. Maybe it's stupid, to be caught up on something as childish as wanting to fly. But he can't help it.
He turns away from the window when students start moving around him, soft chattering and the zipping of bags filling the room in a steady crescendo. He stands and slings his own bag over his shoulder, letting himself be swept by a sea of students all too eager to be anywhere but this damn school. He's almost tempted to close his eyes and let memory lead him home.
When the crowd bursts through the front doors, the ravens occupying the front steps shriek and scatter into the air. Ritsu watches them flap further and further away with blatant, irrational jealousy. On the ground he's jostled by far too many people he never cared to learn the names of, insufferably close and loud.
***
The night air is cold on his face. Above, the moon shines in full and the stars are just fragments of light scattered in inky blackness. He's struck by a sudden notion that if he reached far enough to the sky his fingers would come back smudged in black, like ink stains. On impulse, he tries. Nothing.
Clattering from inside the house reminds him that his place is here on the ground, working and studying and living. Not the sky. But he wishes he could, even for just a moment, be up there with the clouds. Free and away from everything--every mistake he's ever made and every expectation anyone has ever had of him.
Inhaling, he closes his eyes. He imagines his own body standing and focuses his energy on lifting the blurry figure in his mind. For a second, it works, and Ritsu can feel his feet leaving the ground. But the invisible tugging is inconsistent; he loses balance and pitches forward onto the garden dirt with a thud after raising maybe a couple centimeters. He curses under his breath and winces at the new scrapes. Of course.
It all makes Ritsu feel like he's twelve again, wanting nothing but what he can't have and what comes so easily to his brother. He blinks rapidly and tells himself it's the wind making him tear up.
***
School is the same as always. He arrives early to meet with student council. The meeting is boring, and Ritsu counts the minutes by the number of times Hanaka yawns. (Nine times. Impressive, but not enough to beat her record of fifteen.) The day washes over him, one class to another with meaningless small conversations throughout. He's popular enough that classmates will strike up a conversation with him, but he hardly considers most of the people he speaks with his friends.
Of course, there are a few exceptions. Takenaka is one of them.
"Hey," Takenaka greets as he plops into the seat across from Ritsu's. "Did you know Yuki from history class has a crush on you? She's so loud," he complains, stealing a piece of chicken from Ritsu's lunch. Ritsu rolls his eyes.
"She'll get over it. Just ignore her," he says.
Takenaka's face scrunches into a grimace. "You think I haven't tried? Believe it or not, I don't want to hear fifty original love poems a day."
"Really? I had you pegged for the hopeless romantic type," Ritsu replies sarcastically.
Takenaka ignores him. "Actually, this is better. If you told her you had no interest, the internal bawling would be insufferable."
Ritsu just scoffs and shakes his head. "Whatever you say," he hums. Takenaka darts his hand out for another act of lunch thievery, and this time Ritsu manages to block him with his chopsticks. "Bring your own lunch, won't you?" But he moves his chopsticks and lets Takenaka take a dumpling anyway.
"Unnecessary. This works great," Takenaka mumbles around a mouthful of dumpling. Ritsu's mouth twitches into a smirk on its own accord.
Some parts of the day, he supposes, are not so bad.
***
"Kageyama! One minute, please." Ritsu stops mid step on his way to door, turning back to his writing professor while the other students weave around him to get out.
"Of course," Ritsu keeps his tone as polite as possible. "Is something the matter?"
"No, no. Quite the opposite," his professor chuckles, standing from his desk and fumbling with his rather thick glasses. "You see, the school will be having an assembly in another two weeks to boost morale before midterms. I was wondering if you would like to give a small speech as a student speaker."
"Oh, uh. . ."
"It doesn't need to be anything big, of course!" he assures hastily. His shirt isn't tucked in, Ritsu notices. Also, is that a coffee stain? "There are already a few other students who will be speaking, as well as the head of school. Just a small little thing talking about how to stay motivated."
"I would be honored to." Ritsu bows. "Is there anything specific you have in mind?"
"Anything is fine, really," his professor laughs lightly. "I trust your capabilities. Just talk about whatever motivates you personally." He claps Ritsu on the shoulder.
"Right..." Ritsu replies. "I'll do my best, sir."
"Great! I knew I could count on you, Kageyama. Keep up the good work in class!" He slips around Ritsu a little clumsily to exit the room. Ritsu doesn't move, staring out a window on the other side of the room without real attention. Something that motivates him. . .
The sharp ringing of the bell shoves him back into the present. Right. He'll be late for class if he stays here.
Geometry is the last lesson of the day, where the class is starting a new group project. As he slips into his seat Ritsu secretly prays he's not paired with Yuki, because if Takenaka is right (and he always is) then he does not want to spend the next several weeks with a swooning girl.
"Kageyama and Suzuki, partners," the teacher announces, rapidly moving down the list.
Ritsu raises his eyebrows in surprise. Turning around, he finds Shou grinning at him from a few seats away and raises his hand in a hesitant wave.
He's been friends with Shou for several years now, but even at the same high school they don't spend very much actual time together. Their relationship is more of a . . . silent understanding. Not that he's complaining. He'd much rather work with Shou than a classmate he's exchanged less than a few words with. He doesn't feel the need to pretend in front of Shou--to be better or calmer or more polite.
Students are shuffling around now to find their partners, so Ritsu beckons Shou over. "Yo!" Shou exclaims, dragging a chair to Ritsu's desk and not wincing one bit at the loud scraping noise. "Pretty lucky you're my partner. You understand this stuff, right? Also, you're kind of just better than everyone else in general," he says.
Ritsu's not sure exactly how to respond to that. "Uh . . ."
"No worries man! I'm not gonna make you do the whole thing yourself," Shou assures with a pat to the shoulder, as if that's what Ritsu is worried about. "Just. Y'know. I'm not really a math guy."
Ritsu laughs a little then. "Everyone says that. I'm sure you're not that bad."
***
"I take it back. You're hopeless," Ritsu mumbles, head in hands.
"Hey!" Shou actually looks a little offended, which makes Ritsu huff in amusement despite his exasperation. "Look, I'm trying, okay? Not my fault algebra was invented by a bunch of sick sadists."
"It's not- whatever." Ritsu sighs. "You just need to actually pay attention."
"Ugh! That's what everyone says!" Shou tugs on his own hair. "I actually try, okay? It just- it doesn't work. It doesn't work in my mind." He looks genuinely frustrated, though it's not really directed at Ritsu. The air hums with aura, pulsing from Shou and tickling the back of Ritsu's mind. A tentative idea wedges itself in his head.
He stays silent for a minute, watching Shou bounce his leg and pick at his fingers. Then, straightening up, he says, "Theoretically, I could do this project myself, and that would be easiest." He hesitates. "Or . . . I can tutor you."
"Really?" Shou exclaims, looking more excited than Ritsu expected at the idea of learning math.
"But you have to do something for me, too," Ritsu hastens to add. Shou melts back the slightest bit and waits expectantly. Ritsu swallows and lowers his voice. "You have to-- to teach me how to fly."