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Evan Buckley passed away on March 29th, 2022 in the heart of Los Angeles, California. His body was crushed by a collapsing building in the line of duty.
The 118 held the Honor Guard three days later.
Today, Evan rests in eternal peace at Evergreen Cemetery, beneath the sheltering branches of a majestic willow tree.
04/06/2022
Los Angeles, California
“Dear Maddie,
I’m sorry it took me so long to get back to you. After burying the funeral, I felt like I was going to die. I... still kinda do. Everywhere I look, I see him. I guess I don’t have to explain it to you. You probably see him, too. He was never just mine. He was ours.
I don’t have words of comfort. Chris is in pieces, and frankly, so am I. Somedays I wake up and I absentmindedly reach over to his side. I’ve had to curl bu back up into my side and cover myself up. The bed is wearing out unevenly.
It’s getting harder to carry on. It probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but I deleted everyone’s number. I don’t think I’m strong enough to ever see any of them again. Any of you, really.
I love you, Maddie, I’m sorry.
I should ask how you are, but I think that’d be stupid. Last I heard, Chim had to get you committed against your will. I don’t know where you are, but I hope these letters reach you anyway. I think it’s the last I have of him, and it’s the last I can give of me.
You kindly asked me to tell you how we fell in love. I gotta be honest, Maddie, I didn’t couldn’t yet, but now... there’s a part of me that believes I’ll forget if I don’t write it down. Kinda like everything else is wasting away.
So, I will. I’m gonna tell you our story. I will be as delicate as I can because he never deserved anything but gentleness. I only hope I was able to love him the way the universe intended me to love him. I can’t fathom thinking that loving him from this far will ever amount to what I could’ve done had we had our whole lives. I was too late.
I will write again soon.
Eddie.”