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For a moment, you swear your heart stops. Background noises fade to nothingness and your world spins around you. You hold the queen in your hand, pulled freshly from the deck. And you all know what that means.
As you raise your head, the others all realise what you pulled.
Van takes a step back, the remaining cards still in her hand.
Shauna stares at you, hands balled into fists. There's an indescribable wildness in her eyes, as if she recognises the beginning of the hunt. She changes during the hunts. She becomes a predator and you will be her prey.
Nat refuses to look at you but keeps her gaze down. She pulled the first queen. She knows exactly how you feel right now.
You scan the room in desperation but there is nothing anyone can do. The wilderness chooses.
It chose you.
"(Y/N)?"
Someone speaks in the dead silence of the cabin and you look in their direction. It's Lottie, of course it's Lottie. Beautiful, caring, wonderful Lottie with her dark eyes and gentle voice. Of course. Of course.
"What do you have?" she demands. "What is it? (Y/N), what-?"
"What the fuck do you think it is, Lottie?" Nat snaps.
Lottie crosses the room to you and grabs the card out of your hand. You let her. You hardly feel it slip from your fingers because you're shaking so much. Fear engulfs you in a drowning wave. It's different being on the other end of the blade. It's different knowing you're going to die at the hands of your friends.
"No, no- we have to do it again-"
"Lottie, it chose her. We can't-"
"No! No, we have to-" Lottie spins and tries to grab the deck out of Van's hands but misses. "It can't be her. I-I won't let it. Not her. Anyone but her."
It's not directed at you but at the others. A desperation overcomes her as she realises she can't get the cards back. She grabs your wrists and tug you close to her.
"Lottie, we don't want to do this. But we have to-" The others try to reason with her but they can't.
"No! Get away from us! I'm not letting you take her!"
She's shaking too but from anger or fear, you can't tell which. With her height she overshadows the others but that means little in the wilderness. Shauna alone could tear her apart in seconds. You wouldn't stand a chance against the rest of the pack.
Already the others are moving like wolves, coming to circle the frantic Lottie as she tries to protect you. Misty moves to grab a spear and Lottie screams at her.
"No! Do not even try-" she snarls.
You've never seen her like this. And Lottie herself is the reason the hunts started. There was sadness in every one before yours but not like this. She really doesn't want to lose you.
Since you crash landed into the unknown forest, Lottie and you have gotten closer. How close, you never truly knew and you suppose you wouldn't find out. You know how you feel about her and how you wished for more but didn't dare ask for it out of fear. You didn't want to scare her away. But in doing so, you lost your chance.
You finally manage to shake yourself out of your daze and you look at the card clutched in Lottie's grip.
The painted face of the Queen stares back at you, a haunting image. It was held by the ones before you. The ones that you consumed.
"Lottie, stop," you say. "Th-That isn't fair."
She looks at you and there are tears in her eyes. The hand on your wrist travels down to your hand and she squeezes it tight. She shakes her head. "No, no, (Y/N), I can't lose you. I can't let it take you."
"You have to," you say. "That's the rules of the hunt."
"Then fuck them! I don't care! Not about any of this. Just about you."
Your heart is breaking in your chest. Of course you don't want this to happen. But if it wasn't you, it would be someone else. You look around the rest of the Yellowjackets and take in their hollow eyes and grim expressions. No one wants to do this. But to survive, they have to eat. Someone has to be the lamb.
"I know. I know, Lottie."
You reach a hand to her face and brush away her tears with your thumb. Her eyes close as she tries to compose herself but she fails. She still cries. She still can't let you go.
"It has to be this way."
"Will you run?"
"Do you want me to?"
Running gives the chance for the wilderness to choose someone else. For it to intervene. Is that fair? Is it wrong? Nothing about this is right and honestly, you don't want to run. You want to stand tall in your last moments. You don't want to be stabbed in the back.
Lottie lets out a shaky exhale and shakes her head. "I don't want anyone to hurt you."
And in that sentence, you know what she's offering. The others do as well because they've stopped their circling and weapons are being lowered. This will come down to the two of you. As it was always meant to be.
"I know. That's okay." You stare into her dark eyes and find your own starting to blur. "I trust you. You'll make it quick."
Shauna steps in from the side with her knife in hand. She doesn't say anything as she presses it into Lottie's palm. She casts a short glance in your directi before she returns to her place in the circle.
"Oh, (Y/N)..." Lottie says.
"I want you to have my heart," you say. "It was yours anyway."
You love her. You say it without words. Because you know that if you say it out loud, there is no telling what Lottie will do.
She understands you and tears fall fresh again. She pulls you close and kisses you fiercely, with the passion of someone who loves you back. It's hot and brutal, like she's trying to sink her teeth into you to hold you there. There's anger in her like you've never seen before. And in that moment you know she will not let your death go in vain. If she survives, it will have all been worth it. You lean into her and kiss her back with the same passion.
Your first and last kiss with her.
You're trembling when she finally lets go.
"I'm so sorry," she whispers.
The knife is at your throat but her hands aren't shaking anymore. She holds your close as she presses the knife of the butcher against your skin.
"It's okay," you whisper back. "I forgive you."
The last thing you see will be her. The last thing you feel will be her hands holding onto you. You savour the taste of her kiss. It's just Lottie. Your Lottie.
"I love you, (Y/N)."
Your throat burns and your body gives out. Darkness engulfs you.
I love you too, Lottie.